Author: Lady Flick PM
In which Sirius intercepts Lily's letters to James. ch2: potter household rule 6. James and Sirius will stop trying to peep while the Guest is bathing. SB/LE. JP/LE.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Sirius B. & Lily Evans P. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,316 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 09-07-10 - Published: 09-04-10 - id: 6299261
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
WOO thanks for all the feedback! I'm glad this idea's been well-received, and I do intend on continuing. I've decided that this won't be entirely comprised of letters, rather, drabbles, letters, notes, and other-such written resources. Neither will it take place only over summer. It will be all light-hearted and what-not, and I'm really looking forward to getting into school-life for these two c: I expect it will have endless possibilities! I would love to know what you guys think and am always open for suggestions, as well! :D also, I think figuring out who's writing what is part of the fun, so I'm sorry if it gets confusing at parts! but i'd love to read your thoughts !
the potter household
The morning Lily arrived at the Potters' was eventful to say the least. She was all smiles and glowing with a healthy tan from her trip to Egypt. James was the first to greet her, having waited at the door practically the entire night, eager to see his girl. When Sirius had come around all he could see were arms and limbs entangled and suitcases forgotten at their feet. He withdrew his camera from his pants pocket and snapped a quick photo, the click unheard through their exchanged fury of kisses and gasps and entirely inappropriate moans.
Charles and Amelia broke the lovebirds apart with a hose, promptly scolding James for launching himself onto their guest. Lily was red with embarrassment, and even more-so when her eyes lifted from her feet to meet Sirius who had made himself comfortable leaning against the wall of the foyer, wearing a grin so smug it wiped the apologetic smile from her face.
"Now," Amelia said, clapping her hands together in a most cheerful manner, "Boys, help Lily with her things, will you? You did clean up that spare room, right, James?"
The boy stood on the spot, reaching back to rake a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck. "Well, mum, y'see…"
"James Jenson Potter—"
"I'm off to do it right now, mum!" He said at once, absently wiping away the steam that had crept along the edges of his glasses. With a final look at his guest, he bounded into the home and up the flight of stairs to take care of the room where his dearest would be staying.
Missus Potter shook her head and offered whom she already saw as her own daughter a welcoming smile. "Lily, dear, please, come in," she insisted, gesturing for the girl to step into her arms. The elder woman matched her future daughter-in-law in height, and, had she been in her prime, would have easily matched Lily Evans in beauty, as well. Slender, fragile arms wrapped securely about Lily's frame and gave a light squeeze of affection. "It's wonderful to have you."
Lily nodded, "Thanks for having me, Missus Potter."
"Oh, none of that, dear!" The older woman said at once, waving a hand in the air as she stepped away, "Call me Amelia." An explosion from what must have been the guest room drew everyone's attention upstairs, where James hastily ran to the landing, looking rather disheveled, glasses askew, and assured them that he had everything under control, and wouldn't it be nice if someone gave him a hand?
His mother sighed. "Sirius, be a dear and take Lily's things upstairs, will you? And Lily, do make sure James hasn't gone and blown off a wall…?"
Lily giggled, adjusting the backpack slung about her shoulders, "Of course, Amelia."
She followed Sirius, who had charmed the luggage to carry itself, up the stairs.
"Be careful with that!" Lily reprimanded, frowning as one of her suitcases hit the corner of a wall.
The boy who walked ahead only shrugged carelessly. "If you packed anything fragile enough to be broken within this suitcase, then it was your mistake, Lily-dear."
"Right, my mistake you're not man enough to carry those things yourself," the young woman muttered.
Sirius scoffed, glancing at her over his broad shoulder. "You'd prefer I carry the baggage?"
"Well it's what Amelia asked of you, isn't it?"
Before she could say another word, Sirius had swept low and hauled the girl up before continuing his trek up the stairs. He held her firmly about her legs, slung about his shoulder like a potato sack, and though Lily couldn't see, she knew he was smirking like a madman.
"Whatever you say, Evans."
She was in for quite a summer.
FOR ANY AND ALL PERSONS SPENDING ANY AMOUNT OF TIME BENEATH THE POTTER ROOF.
Please Read and Sign
1. There will be absolutely no tolerance for explosions or the use of any form of explosives inside, or within a 5 meter radius of, the Potter household – this includes and is not limited to: the garden, the patio, the basement, the attic, the field behind the house and the neighborhood of Godric's Hollow in general.
( Mum! What kind of rule is this? This takes all the fun out of the summer Sirius and I had planned out! )
2. Baths are to be taken daily – at the minimum. However, if one's odor is so strong that the gnomes run away from you, then at least two baths must be taken.
( Black, I suspect this is for you.
Evans, leave the jokes to the pros. You'll hurt yourself trying to be funny. )
3. Nose Goes is not a means to determine who will see to a chore.
( If someone's too slow to react, they deserve to do the chore.
Well it's certainly not fair – whoever calls it already has his dirty finger on his greasy nose.
Sorry Lily-pad, but face it, Nose Goes is a perfectly legitimate means to determine who should do a chore!)
4. Summer Potion's work will not be used as an excuse to mix dangerous and questionable concoctions.
( Like anyone would believe that you two would be keen to start on Summer Potion's work anyways…
We might use it as an excuse, but the sad part is that if there was such homework, you'd already have done it by now. Miss Slug Club. )
5. With exception to playing Hot Lava, the use of brooms inside the house is prohibited.
( I suggest Hot Lava every day!
I suggest strip Hot Lava.
Clearly you haven't read all the rules, Black. Strip-games are prohibited.
In case you haven't noticed, Lily-bear, I'm only on rule number 5.
Extreme Strip Hot Lava?
6. James and Sirius will stop trying to peep while the Guest is bathing.
( THANK YOU! )
7. Vice versa.
( THANK YOU!
Oh don't flatter yourself, Black!
James, you've got the cutest birth mark on your –something furiously scratched out- )
8. There will be no replacing shampoo/soap/toothpaste with any bodily fluid, human, mixed, or otherwise.
( Does this include wizard-made mixtures?
Dangerous concoctions aren't allowed!
Just because something is disgusting doesn't mean it's dangerous, Evans.
Oh, my mistake. Being around you so often made me think otherwise.
Oh! Sorry mate, but she got you. She got you good. )
9. Games of Exploding Snaps will take place outside.
But having it inside is half the fun!
Only you would find such reckless activity fun.
Your mum would find such reckless activity fun. )
10. Games of Extreme Exploding Snaps is prohibited.
( If it wasn't extreme, it wouldn't be prohibited.
It's crazy and dangerous and is utter chaos – who doesn't love that?
If I didn't know any better, I would have thought you were talking about yourself, Black. )
11. Games of Strip Exploding Snaps is also prohibited.
( Now this is where I draw the proverbial line!
We all know you can't draw a line to save your life, mate.
How much fun can a game of this be with just you two?
Who ever said it was just me and James?
Sirius! Lily, he's kidding. He's kidding entirely. Don't believe him.
*insert whip noise.*
Oh, sod off. )
12. In fact, games of Extreme or Strip Anything are prohibited.
( Well now, your parents are just going power mad, here, Jamsie! )
13. There will be no conjuring, summoning, bewitching, charming, transfiguring objects in order to attack someone.
( Sorry, Evans. You'll have to find real friends. )
14. There are approximately one bed, two pillows, and one set of sheets per resident. The number for any of those shall not change.
( Sorry, Black, I guess you and your ego will simply have to make-do in one room. )
15. If the clothes have lace, James and Sirius – do not wear them.
( It's not my fault if it looks better on me.
I beg to differ, mate. )
16. Panty-hose are not a suitable substitute for a bungee cord, charmed or otherwise.
( Especially not mine!
When you told us about your cousin using panty-hose to jump off the staircase, what did you expect? Face it, you practically tied that godforsaken hosiery to our belt loops and pushed us off the roof top. )
17. No bungee jumping.
( Lily-pad, what was that thing that you mentioned about those plane contraptions…?
You are not sky-diving, James Potter. )
18. No introducing strange and dangerous muggle activities to those who are likely to attempt them.
I'm sorry for assuming you had more common sense than a three year old. Clearly I was mistaken.
Additional rules and regulations can and will be added.
Love, Charles and Amelia.
Master of the Universe
"Lily-dear! Could you help Sirius with degnoming the garden?"
It was a simple task and one that she found rather interesting. James was designated to accompanying his father to his work, helping around the office a few hours a week, and such were the days that Lily loathed because it meant only one thing: quality time with Sirius Black.
"Well morning, Lily-boo," the young man greeted, holding up an arm to shield the sun from his eyes. "About time you finished in the restroom. You didn't need to fix yourself up just to come see me, you know. I've seen you at your worst, and after the initial shock, I think I can stomach through it."
Lily glared, brushing her hair away from her face, and stalked into the backyard. "You know what, I don't think you really need my help at all. You're stench is so offensive, I reckon all it'd take to get rid of the gnomes is for you to stand out here for a bit."
"Even funnier after I read it on the list of rules," Sirius balked as he dug through the bushes.
Lily sat herself upon a swing hanging from a nearby branch and watched her companion fidget about amidst the brush. The summer heat blazed even in the morning and Sirius was often found without a shirt, much to Lily's protest – if only because the muscles and lithe frame were far too distracting.
"I know I'm quite a sight, but would you mind giving this luscious specimen of man a hand?" The male called as he straightened up.
Lily only rolled her eyes, pushing her feet against the fresh grass, propelling her body to swing into motion. "I think a big strong luscious specimen of man can handle this simple task on his own, don't you?"
Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it – the girl had her blasted wand tucked into her pocket – and jiggled his leg free of a persistent gnome. He let out a string of curse words under his breath as one of the little buggers bit him.
When Missus Potter arrived an hour later with a pitcher of lemonade, Lily insisted that she was tired and it was Sirius' turn to degnome, and she went inside, into the cool shade of the house, leaving a simmering and vengeful Sirius behind.
19. Degnoming the garden does not entail situating the gnomes elsewhere in the house. This includes but is not limited to: under the bed, inside closets, in replacement of pillows, or in the shower.
20. It is henceforth prohibited to be an uptight, know-it-all pest.
19. -furious scratch marks-
20. -furious scratch marks-
19. Only Charles and Amelia have the authority to add or otherwise alter rules to this list.