|This Is Sparta!
Author: BoxOfScraps PM
Sparta's Pizza Palace, that is. How may we serve you?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 286 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 09-06-10 - id: 6305091
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king." the messenger said, standing near a large pit for whatever reason. Yes. Because you know...that's totally safe and all. Not like that's foreshadowing or anything of the sort, noooo...
Leonidas stood there, thinking. "Hmm...beer and pretzels? No...cheese and gravy. No...two words...Hakuna Matata? Nah...ah fuck it." He pulled out his giant... sword and held it at the messenger's throat.
"Madman! You're a madman!"
"Yeah, but I'm king, biatch." Leonidas prepared to lunge into the messenger.
The messenger realized his impending doom...either sword or pit. "No man, Persian, Greek or monkey threatens a messenger!"
"You bring the crowns..." Leo lowered his sword for a moment. "Wait, what did you just say? Monkeys aren't humans, last I checked."
"No, but we are descended from them."
Leo raised his sword again quickly. "Ah...no, that's where you're wrong. Monkeys are not pre-humans, that's not how it goes. We were created."
"This is blasphemy! This is madness!"
Leo's left eye started to twitch. "Madness?" He started to growl. "THIS IS—" A cell phone began to ring... with the ringtone of Pokerface, apparently. Leonidas pulled it out from...well you don't want to know where. He calmly answered. "King Leo, yello?"
Iron Man flew in behind him and blasted both of them into the pit, cell phone in his other hand. "I am Iron Man, and that joke is so overdone." He tossed his cell phone in the pit. "And reception is lousy here, I tell you." He blasted off into the distance, leaving...wherever this movie takes place kingless.