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Somehow
Author:
chaletfan PM
Xander & Faith. London. An attempted kidnapping. You know when somebody tries to kidnap these two, it's not gonna go well. There's violence, retribution and R rated content. And there's two people doing what they do best.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Adventure - Xander H. & Faith L. - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,371 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10-04-10 - Published: 09-09-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6311390
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"Somehow," said Xander Harris with a slight look of confusion on his face, "I have ended up acting as a career counsellor for the disenfranchised Slayer youth. "

"You're a counsellor? We trying to get rid of the kids now?" Faith. Blunt and to the point. Like always. She stared at the door he was holding open for her. "Dude, you know I've got hands right?"

"I do," said Xander. "Did. I mean, do. Yes, with the hands you have. Hmmm." He flushed and pushed his hands back in to his pockets as they left the cafe. God. She always did this. Made him so flustered. So much history between them and yet she still had the ability to make him babble like a fool.

Faith caught up with him, cutting in front, catching his eye with a wicked little wink of her own. Her amusement was obvious. "We could go again sometime?"

"Maybe not here though?" Xander got a little bit redder. "I mean, I, you," a cough, "Um London?"

She tilted her head towards the crowds flowing past the two of them as they stood there, and smiled, "They can get in line."

"Long line," said Xander.

"I'm worth it."

"I don't doubt," and then he paused and gestured at his mouth, making stitching gestures with my hand, "This – shut. Talking – stops now."

Faith stopped at the side of the road, her eyes scanning for a taxi. "Giles has a theory about you. He said you had eutra - eutrapelia or something."

"I do not. Wait. What is it? I still can't work out whether he's complimenting or hating."

"Something Greek. And don't worry. He won't compliment you. Not unless he's near death. Or suffering from rabies" said Faith, "To be honest, I kinda filter a lot the dude says. Unless he's praising me. Then I'm all ears."

"Literally? Cos did I tell you we had one of the Brazilian girls infected by that ear demon and Will had to spell her clean and it all got a little waxy icky-" A finger suddenly rested on his lips. It was Faith. He stopped; her touch burning him to the core. The closest he'd been to a woman for a long time. Even with living in Casa Del Estrogen, the sudden intimacy made his catch his breath and count to ten.

"Shush," she said, "And get in." She removed her finger from his lips and pointed at the taxi.

So Xander got in. Folded his legs up in the corner and watched as this Goddess climbed in behind him. "Oxford Street," said Faith, crouching forward and speaking through the small window panel through the driver.

"Oxford Street?" He raised an eyebrow as she sat back down beside him. "Giles does remember we're supposed to be S to the E to the Cret?"

"Oh my god, are you purposefully channeling the nineties? G knows what he's doing." There was no question in her mind that Giles knew what he was doing. She would follow him to the end of the earth. And had. That had been a fun trip. Emphasis on the trip. Giles and her had both taken the blue pill and fallen through the gaps of the world, trying to stop yet another apocalypse. And the funny thing was that she now knew their world really just did stop. At a line. That's all it was that marked the end of their world and the beginning of the nest. A line drawn in the sand and a row of demons waiting at the other side like kids at an all you can eat buffet.

"But Oxford Street?"

His voice, his plaintive anchor of reality, pulled her back to the now. "Maybe he wants to get in some shopping, I don't know, what am I, his secretary?"

Xander waggled his finger at her. "Made you rise," he said, "One nil to me."

"Next time I am asking for Willow. Or Kennedy. Or even that redheaded Scottish kid. I mean, great hair, just couldn't understand a word she said. Kind of a mark in her favour now I think about it."

He beamed at her. "You love me."

"You drive me nuts," she replied, "I ask for help and I get you? It's as if the world hates me."

"It loves you," he said, "The world luurrrrvvves you."

"Stop that. Stop that now." She glared at him.

The taxi squealed around the corner and they slid into the centre of the seat, impacting heavily into each other. "Hey!" cried Faith, "Easy on the Dukes of Hazzard!"

"Easy sweetie," said Xander, "Buckle up." He jammed the seatbelt around Faith's waist and clicked her in before she'd even noticed what he was doing, and then pressed his face to hers, his mouth just seconds away from hers.

"Wanna go?" she murmured, "Right here right now?"

"Shut up," he said, keeping his voice low. "Something's wrong Brainiac. We're going out of town. I just saw a sign for The North. And even I know that Oxford Street is fairly not north. Mind you I only know this from all the shopping talk. Of the girls. " A sudden look of concern in his eyes. "I mean it is right? Or is it all some elaborate sham? Is Harry Potter cinema verité and London just a tiny village with one road?"

"You watch Harry Potter?"

"Watched and not from choice. Hermione's no Zatanna I'll have you know." He peeled himself away from Faith and sat back down in his seat, twisting his body slightly to face her. His hand stretched out to grab hers and, picking up on his cues, she grasped it tightly. The small wince of pain on his face made her loosen her grip.

"Hey, Mr," she called, "We a long way aways? My boy here's not feeling too well. " No response. Just the revving of an accelerator pedal being pressed and the car speeding up.

Xander glared at her as the houses fluid-slipped by. They were on a road out of town, that much was certain. The press of crowds he associated so vividly with London were thinning and there were less cars on the road. The busiest city in the world and yet they were almost out of it.

She raised an eyebrow. "Shut up or I'll tell him you've got the shits." Then, louder, "Hey Mr? Hey? Excuse me?"

No response. Just the hunching of the back of somebody deliberately ignoring them.

"Can you drive stick?" said Faith.

The car swung left and Xander took a quick glance out of the window. Countryside. Already. Damn this boy was quick. One thing was certain, they weren't in Kansas anymore.

Businesslike. "I'll pick it up." He nodded at her. Ready. Trusting.

"Good," she said and then she very quietly unclicked her seatbelt and began to slide down onto the floor. Xander watched with quiet amusement as she slithered off the seat and inched her way forward.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What? It's been a while since I've had to break out of a car."

"Bad girl," he murmured, and then flung a hand over his eyes as Faith snaked up from the car floor and very calmly punched her way through the barrier.

The taxi heeled to the side as the driver reacted, flinging his body sideways and trying to turn to see Faith but he was too late. Faith cracked an elbow into his face and then, as the driver lost conciousness, grabbed his shoulders and began to heave him backwards. "Get in there already," she snapped at Xander, who hurled himself forward and stretched for the wheel, and then hung there, half way between front and back seats, caught in the narrowness of the gap between the seats.

"You need to god damn well diet." Faith dropped a half-kick behind her, not even looking, as the driver dropped onto the floor in a heavy heap. She pivoted, half-crouched and then pushed Xander through the rest of the gap, all in one fluid motion.

"Christmas weight," snapped Xander, "Don't judge me!" His hands were scrabbling for grip on the wheel as it span wildly. He didn't even want to look at the view outside and the inevitable truck they would be trying to get underneath. It was a miracle they'd not crashed into somebody and he was suddenly wildly thankful for them having escaped the centre of London. His fingers tightened as he gained purchase on the rubber grip and he managed to wrench the wheel sideways. At the same time his foot slammed on the brake, and his whole body turned, physically pulling the car away from making friends with the local flora and fauna. A long deep breath escaped him as the car finally came under his control.

Faith slipped over into the seat beside him, her long body folding with much more elegance than he could ever hope to achieve. He expertly changed gear and glanced at her. She raised an eyebrow. "So," she said, as laconic as ever, "We gonna figure out why the Hulk wanted to kidnap us?"

"Yes," said Xander, and the thrill of the life he led bubbled up inside of him. "Oh yes. Yes we will." And then, as reality hit him and the inevitability that things were always worse than he ever thought they would be, he added: "Somehow."

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