Dear Charley,

What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever seen the bros do? I imagine with all the traveling they've done, they've got some awesome stories. Speaking of all that traveling, you ever hear about guys with a 'girl in every port'? You know, when a guy has a girl from every place he's been. Think Vinnie might have done something like that? Oooh. Even worse, do you think any of them ever might have fathered a kid on a different planet? Since they lost the Thunderpipe coming to Earth, and a lack of real interplanetary communications system on Earth, they might not have been able to be reached by any baby momma that happened.

signed,

Wondering Baby Momma

To Wondering,

The most embarrassing thing? That would have to be the infamous nudity screen incident, of which I've been instructed not to speak of until all three of the guys are off planet.

I don't think Vinnie's the type to have a girl in every port- but if I remember correctly, Modo's left behind a few broken hearts on Mars, Saturn, a "nice little resort called Aquilla-9", and let's not forget "Bobette" from Fienna. He has pictures of that one. Dis-turb-ing as all hell.

I think Vinnie was actually scammed into believing he'd fathered a kid on Romulus once (no, not the Star Trek Romulus), but it turned out to be a hoax. I'm not 100% sure though, since it was Stoker who told me that, and he was incredibly drunk at the time.

0000

Dear Charley,

Do Martians have monster legends on their world? Earth is loaded with stories about vampires, werewolves, lake monsters, stuff like that. Do the bros ever tell you stories about that kind of thing? Do they ever tell you about Martian culture?

signed,

Ann the Ologist

To Ann,

Oh, they have hundreds of legends, most of which are rehashings of actual Martian creatures (interestingly enough, the Saber Squid didn't exist on Mars before Earth year 1697). There's one particularly intruiging one about a fourth species on Mars that died out around Earth year 1559, called the Epokar. Nobody's really sure about whether or not it's true, but if it was, it might explain why the ecosystem weakened...

Modo likes to capitulate about a horned creature called the "Mystostapea", which is kind of Martian science's platypus (it can survive in air and water, lays eggs and then nurses its young, and has the average intelligence of a dolphin). His daddy had one as a pet when he was little, but they're endangered now.

No, they don't tell me, they let me make a fool out of myself (such as the time a doctor came here, gave me the traditional Martian greeting consisting of a forehead butt, and I smacked him upside the head). Then, after laughing their asses off, they tell me. Jerks.

0000

Dear Charley,

I was wondering if Vinnie was hiding his gayishness by being too macho? because it's not going too well when he tries to flirt with you.

From the Noisy-Daisy

To Noisy-Daisy,

I can assure you, Vinnie is in no way, shape or form attracted to the male sex. How do I know? I've been privy to a few secrets from Stoker, including the time that a incredibly gay Army soldier attempted to grab Vinnie's antennae (which, on Mars, is the gay equivalent of fondling asscheeks). I'm told that Army soldier now has a permanent kink in his nose thanks to Vinnie.

0000

Dear Charley

what do the bros think about Mighty Morphin Power Rangers? Throttle is practically a member of them now, with his green bike.

From yellow ass-ranger

To Yellow,

We don't get that channel.

And what green bike? ^.^

0000

Dear Charley

Is Modo available, is he on the market? I'm his biggest fan, I just love him SOOO much, tell him I absolutely adore children, do you think he would consider me as a choice?

From Ultimate Fangirl

To Fangirl,

Unfortunately no, he is not on the market. He took himself off after suffering injuries from a stampede.

0000

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