|Living Without A Heart
Author: Blood Venom Tears0816 PM
"Edward My Green Eyed Angel" Bella said as they held to each other for dear life, Edward wants to save Bella...but Bella just want to end everything. "Your heartbeats are like a lullaby" DARK/ LEMON.Rated: Fiction M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Bella & Edward - Words: 7,475 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 09-19-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6336313
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey! I want to say that, I don't own any charaters... I just borrow them from
Time to time.
I always wondered how many people in the world thinks about suicide. How many succumb to the temptation? It only takes a fraction of a second for the thought about it to consume you; almost every second of everyday some teenager loses the battle of surviving the bullies and abuse of others throughout their school careers. But my thoughts about suicide don't steam from being bullied by brainless kids from school; my reasons for choosing suicide is more about being free than anything. My life is submissive, the life I live doesn't give me freedom, it doesn't let me achieve to my full potential… well educationally anyways. I never had control of my life; I was always controlled by someone. Always taught to submit and to always do what I was told, my feelings was ignored, feelings was useless here and didn't belong. I was to believe that this was my home; these people were my family, that this was my life. But I knew the true… there was no escape what so ever and I was stuck in this dark world until my heart stops beating, but until then, I will kneel and submit until I find a way out.
Believe it or not but, I had a good life until the unbelievable happed, I had a family, I had a good job, friends but all that was taking away me right before my eyes. It was quick, I couldn't comprehend what was transpiring before my eyes…..before it was too late; they took my life and shaped into what it is now; an object to be played with, a waste of breath…a waste of a life; but if had the right amount of money, people would considered me a fun companion, but after….. I was tossed in the trash and pulled out to be dust off and prime for recycle. After a while I stopped feeling the difference, everything started to feel the same, the hands, the whispers and touches. It's was better to not feel than to let them see your vulnerability, they say I was very hard to break in the beginning; but eventually my façade was destroyed alone with my self-esteem and innocence. Looking out of the small window that was secured with metals bars, I watched the grass blow back and forth; wishing I could just run out there and bury my toes in it. It's been two years since I felt the cold-scratchy feeling of wet grass after a storm, two years since I felt droplets of snowflakes; I used to hate snow…but now it was all I can wish for, just to feel one snowflake, one drop of rain hitting my face….that's all I wanted. Looking around the small compact room, I notice one of the guards left the bathroom door open….If I don't wash up now, the opportunity wouldn't be the same. Swiftly making my way to the old dirty dresser, where my clothes were stored. I quickly pulled out a blue corset and a leather black skirt, we weren't allowed to wear undergarments, so that was out the question and made my way inside the bathroom. It was still dirty and smelly but I wasn't going to get pissy about that….I had other pressing matters at hand, turning the water on. I quickly shredded my clothes and got under the hot scolding water, closing my eyes, I felt my tears mingle with the water. This was my life; only granted a shower a week, two meals a day, if I was obedient, I was rewarded with a walk outside or a thirty minute relaxation time with my books. I starved for those little moments…those moments I actually felt normal and free but good things never last around here. I heard footsteps, bruising myself trying to hurry up and get dress before they came barreling through the door. I heard all the girls scrambling trying to get ready, I was scared that I was going to miss the kneel line up…..last time I did that, I got a warning but others had received purple and yellowish bruises that scattered across their bodies. Some would say I was treated different…better, that I was the diamond in the bunch. Yanking the door open I saw the girl assuming the kneeling positions as I snuck right through and kneeled…..eyes cast down, shoulders in and hands behind back.
When I'm in this position… Marie "Cinnamon" 4125 was my name,
Bella Marie Swan was dead.
The line up consisted of variety of girls….. What ever you wanted…we had them. I was my own variety; the only brunette here, most girls in here was blond or red heads. Majority was known prostitutes already, but some of the girls in here like me were taken and force into prostitution.
"When I call your name…stand up" the guard ordered, we all was still kneeling when the door opened and five men walked in, all wearing expensive business suits. "Evian…..Nina…..Victoria…Olivia and Cinnamon" I stood up and keeping my head down, it was always important to look submissive, if you made a mistake by looking him in the eyes…he will think that you are disobedient and untrained, and he will move on to next available girl… you'll be out of five grand, in my case…..fifteen grand. If you don't reach the requirements they set for how much you are suppose to make, you're sent to the Basement….the basement was the worse place to ever be; trust me….I've been there. The men in the business suits were observing us, the guard known as "Trent" motion us with his hand to walk over and stand in file line, so the men can pick and choose who they want to spend there night with. Trent ordered us to look up, I let my eyes flutter close for a second…..letting the numbness over take my body. I slowly raised my head and opened my eyes, letting my brown curls fall in front of my face. All their eyes landed on me, I saw Trent smile and quickly rushed into my side wrapping his arms around my waist "This is Cinnamon, she's recently new….when we got her she was a virgin. She only had about three or five men, still tight and innocent" I cringed internally, I took a chance and looked up….one of the guy, eyes was tight and dangerous, most men came here to have a good time but, you do stumbled on those sick bastards that wants hurt and abused the girls while in the act. And by the looks on his face he was indeed one of them.
"I'll buy her" the sick bastard said with a smile on his face
"No! I'll buy her…how much?" I heard another guy say
"I'll give you ten grand" the dark skin guy spoke, Trent head was going back and forth like he was watching a tennis match, the men argued continuously….. Looking around, I saw all the girls shooting me death glares.
Trust me girls…. I'll be happy to give all this up.
…. From the corner of my eye, I saw one guy staring at me; it wasn't scary like the others were. The look on his face told me that he was debating rather to buy me for the night or leave altogether; feeling uncomfortable…. I felt my face heat up. I saw him lean over and whisper something to the big guy standing on the side of him.
"Million dollars" the whole room gasped and then went silent, I quickly lifted my head to look at him. His dark green eyes pierced right through mines; Trent spoke with a business like voice
"Her minimum for a day is five grand" I kept my eyes glued to the floor as the mysterious man finally spoke
"How much is it to have her for good" his voice was smooth but stern, he gave off this dangerous vibe that made me shake with fear. Trent frowned, this wasn't good….I was to never to get auction out….ever
"Sorry Mr. Cullen but, Cinnamon is forbidden to ever be auction out of (Twilight Desires)….especially not for a million dollars" Trent replied with a smirk but it was gone when the mysterious man smiled, he tapped the shoulder of the big guy and whispered in his ear. He nodded and walked out the room for a moment, walking back in with another briefcase; throwing it at Trent
"That's five- hundred million dollars in those case; if she's more than that…..I personally believe she is, I don't have a problem giving more….money is not a concern here" at this point Trent was sweating and stuttering.
So… Mr. Cullen was his last name and he wanted me.
I…..Edward Cullen was worth billions of dollars, for the last two years; my life has been carved and sculptured to rule the world before I turned thirty. Now that I'm thirty today, I have more than a quarter of a billion dollars in my bank account….and had the world eating out of the palm of my hand.
But what's the purpose in having all this money, if you don't have that someone to share it with. I gave to charity, I opened orphanage all around the world, and I was respected and desired by a lot of people. I learned a long time ago, to never trust anybody, always be alert and awake when around money. Money hungry people were everywhere, there only purpose in life, is to try to take everything you have worked for. At this point in my life I didn't care, I was trough with playing this game….I wanted out. I would happily give all this up, the money, the fame, to be treated like a normal person and not Edward Cullen….the prodigy son of the one and only Carlisle Cullen.
"Mr. Cullen your wife is on line one" snapping myself from my thoughts I yelled thanks to Rosalie and pick the phone up
"How many times have I told to not call me at work" I gritted through my teeth, I heard her signed dramatically on this phone "I'm sorry Eddie" I was aching so badly to jumped through the phone and smack her, its no secrete about Tanya and I having affairs behind each other backs. We never spoke about it because….deep down we didn't want to lose or mess up the perfect image we had.
But now….I'm at the point where, I just don't give a shit about anything anymore.
"What's the meaning for this call Tanya" I rubbed the wrinkles between my eye browns tired, while Tanya went on and on about my birthday party she and my mom was throwing me tonight, a party I wasn't going to but…she didn't need to know that. I really didn't want to upset my mother but, I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed a break, just sometime to my self away from Tanya, away from my over bearing family…. from everyone. Quickly making an excuse to rush her off the phone, I hung up and started to pack all my things up. I was getting out, swiftly walking out of my office and to the front I saw Rosalie and Emmett talking
"I'm leaving" I told them as Emmett nodded
"Okay see you tomorrow than bro" shaking my head, he wasn't going to see me tomorrow or any other day "No Em….I'm leaving for good, this place is sucking the life out me…..I'm done fighting. Tell my father he won, telling he got what he wanted and I hope he's happy that he finally broke the spine of his son's back" I told him, as the hole in my chest grew at every step I took
"Edward, I know your father can be a little over bearing but….you can't quit, this place needs you; we need you" Rosalie spoke trough her tears as Emmett held her to him. I smiled at her, she was the best sectary you could ever dream of and the thought of hurting her like this was agonizing. Walking around the desk, I dropped my brief case and wrapped my arms around her and spoke soft words in her ear, telling her that I was going to miss her more than anybody here. She was my shoulder to cry on when things were getting too much, she was the only one who knew about Cinnamon. She never judge, she didn't like Tanya anyway…. Some people would think we were having affair; especially Tanya but Rosalie and I relationship was far past friends, she was like a twin sister. She knew when I was hurt or angry. I didn't have to tell her…she just knew, and that's why leaving now was so fucking hard, because I was sure that I wasn't coming back.
"You will always be in my heart Rose, don't ever forget that and please put the big guy out of his mystery and go out with him, he deserved it after all this time" I whispered as she gave out a sob with a laugh and nodded as I let go and patted Emmett on the shoulder sending them both my love. Grabbing the case, I turned around and walked away.
Finally I was free, but for how long?
How long would it take my father to realize that I was no longer one of his dogs on a lease, how long until he finds a way to yank me back to him? I couldn't let him have that power every again, he if ever did…I will always be a puppet on strings for him to play with. He took everything I wanted away from me, he took Emily away and replace her with Tanya. He drove Alice away, the only person who could relate to me. He brain washed my mother, because he knew she was the only soft spot for me….he knew that if he had her, he had me but now….not even Esme could stop me. Watching the car come around, I quickly getting in I saw my security guard waiting for me.
"Did you get what I asked" he nodded and handed me a thick black brief case. I looked at him and opened it. There in the case was five rows of thick stacks of hundreds in red rubber bands, I asked him to empty out all my bank accounts I had. I saw more cases on the floor of the car
"Where did you put all the jewelry and other assets" he told me he opened up a secrete bank account, I nodded half hearted. I didn't trust him…I didn't trust anybody really. I told the driver to take me to a brothel, if I was going out; I was going out with one the only person I felt will never judge me or look at me different. Pulling up to the familiar place, I got out as well as my guard and made our way into the bar. I saw other business like men standing around, some I knew who had good wives at home….I had excuse to be here, they didn't. The doors opened revealing Trent
"Welcome gentlemen, we have been expecting you. The girls are prepped and ready for you" his voice was so irrigating, I been at Twilight Desires several of time. They had your typical prostitutes as well as young and innocence; some times I hated myself for being a man. But I have my reasons for coming here, Cinnamon….. the girl here that had stolen my heart and didn't even know it, I couldn't dream of buying her for a night….no I was planning this out for sometime now, I wanted her…..for good, I was going to buy her out. I knew she was there money pot and it was going to be a little difficult trying to buy her out, but I was willing to try…..for her I was willing to do anything, he guided us trough the thick brown wooden doors and walked into a room where all the girls were kneeling and waiting. There were forty in all, kneeling as Trent deep irrigating voice rung through the silent room
"When I call your name…stand up" I scanned the room trying to find my brown eyed angel, when Trent started calling names of their best females here.
"Evian…..Nina…..Victoria…Olivia and Cinnamon" when I heard Cinnamon, I felt my heart jump out of my chest as I saw her get up and make her way towards us. My hands were sweaty, I was nervous as hell. Trent ordered them to look up so we could get a good glimpse at their faces, when she looked up her hair fell in front of her face as her innocent eyes scanned every guy in here. Like a moth to a flame, she had all of the guys in here sucked into her web; these guys were tripping over each other trying to outbid each other as she just stood there and waited. I took the chance to really observe her, she was beautiful and scarred. It broke my heart to know that my brown eyed angel was stuck in this hell hole, when her brown empty eyes landed on me, I swear I felt my heart jerked inside my chest. She looked so small and fragile, I was so focus on her I didn't here the blond guy place a bet on her,
No….buddy, she's mines and only mines
"Twenty-grand" another guy piped up, I glared at her, as she quickly looked down blushing. I whispered at my guard to place a bet, I needed to know how much she was worth for good.
"A million dollars" that shut ever body up, I watched her lift her head and looked utterly surprised and awed….yeah beautiful, your worth way more than that. I wanted her to see that I wanted her….not for her body but for her heart but Trent said that her minimum for a day is five grand so I told Gary, my guard to go to the car and bring another case. I asked Trent how much she was worth for good he went ape shit telling me that she was never to be auction out….ever but I knew I had the money to persuade. When Gary came back, he threw both cases at him….. I finally spoke not once breaking eye contact with her
"That's five- hundred million dollars in those case; if she's more than that…..I personally believe she is, I don't have a problem giving more….money is not a concern here" I spoke stern, I wanted him to know that this was not a game, I wanted her out.
Green met Brown
I watched the emotions cross her angelic face. She knew I wanted her and she was okay with it. Throughout this whole ordeal, my heart still hasn't stop ramming against my rib cage. What was it about this girl that had my life spend out of control, every time I came into this place I always bid on a different girl; not because I wanted a release but because I needed information. I wanted to know everything I can about Cinnamon, the girls here thought that I was crazy for spending lumps of money on just talking. It didn't matter, I was waiting for the right moment and….. Now was the right moment to save her from this hell she called her life.
Wow! I never imagine being worth so much, five-hundred million dollars. Was he crazy? Well Aro and Marcus will be trilled that I manage to get five-hundred million dollars to Twilight Desires. Trent and the mystery green eyed god walked out to discuss some things, I saw the others guys watching my every move; creepy much! I looked at the big guy who is here with Mr. Cullen, I pled with my eyes for him to do something. He caught on and made his way to me, putting his self in front of me almost shielding me from the eyes of others
I was officially his boss's property
"Gary" both our heads turned, I saw Trent holding both of the cases….so that means I'm out of this joint! I looked at Mr. Cullen, I couldn't do anything but idolized him, he just fucking brought me….for good.
"Cinnamon" I heard Trent say but I kept staring at my life saver, until suddenly I forgot that I was never suppose to look at him in his eyes; quickly lowering my eyes I swear I heard him sign "Cinnamon, I thought we got over this. I shouldn't have to say your name twice before getting a response" I quickly apologized and walked over to him, I can feel Mr. Cullen eyes on me every step I took, Trent ordered me to get all my things….I was free.
I was free.
When I got to the room, it was like a lion den in there…..and I was the prey. All the girls was glaring and if looks can kill, I lowered my head and walked to my dresser and started to pack every possession I had, it wasn't much so it was easy and quick. Before I can leave I felt myself being pushed to the floor, I looked up and saw Rain towering over me.
"So you think your better than us because some idiot brought you, just remember this Cinnamon….your still a prostitute and will always be one. You'll always wake up and look in the mirror and see the same thing, a worthless whore who will always be a sex slave to Mr. Cullen" I felt the tears well fast, she was right but I was ready to take that risk. If I had to be Mr. Cullen whore than five or six men a night than….. so be it, I know I wasn't worth all that money but he thought so….and for him to think that, I will be happy to be his. I looked at Rain and saw the jealousy and envy in her eyes, I smirk this huge smug ass look
"What's wrong Rain, jealous….yeah you always was jealous of me, I took your light, let me tell you this" I got up and got in her face "Between me and you….trust honey, I'm worth way more than you and you know it. While you were bringing in a few thousands…I was tipping the fucking scales with at least ten grand every night, so be a good whore that you are and kneel…while I get to walk out of here with a man who just spent a half of a billion dollars on me without even blinking a eyelash" picking my suite case up and walked out not bothering to look back. Walking to the main entrance of the place I saw Mr. Cullen and the big Guard waiting for me. It's been a very long time since I been up here, they always kept the girls in the back as they opened a bar in the front to make it seem that it was a bar. They both looked up as Gary quickly grabbed my things out of my hands and ushered us both out the door, I was nervous as hell; on the borderline of having a panic attack. As if Mr. Cullen could feel my uneasiness, he grabbed my hand and intertwine our fingers.
Well this is different. I never experience this type of affections, I was not accustom to this….. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept quite and followed. When we stop, I saw a stretch black limo come driving and stopping in front of us, I heard someone laugh
"From your reaction, I'm going to guess that you never seen or been in a limo before" I shook my head because, I couldn't seem to form words. He gently lift my chin up so my eyes was leveled to his, I gasped at the feeling of his hands on my skin; the look in his eyes was so raw with emotions, I felt confused….so I took the leap and spoke
"Your different….why?" he just smiled and guided us in the limo as the Guard Gary sat in the front with the driver. Five minutes into the drive, I was still waiting for my answer when suddenly I felt his lips on mine; I didn't aspect how sweet and soft the kiss was. I close my eyes and pretend that I was kissing the love of my life, I put so much emotion into the kiss that I felt tears well and fall from my eyes. He slowly pulled away, kissing the tears away. I opened my eyes and saw the same deep emotion in his eyes that was mirroring my own
"I….I don't understand" I stuttered confused, he held my hands to his face and closed his eyes; almost like he was savoring the feeling of my hands on his skin, I boldly caressed his face. Slowly tracing his forehead to the bottom of his jaw, I heard him quietly groan "I been dying to ask this…but what is your first name" he let his eyes flutter open "Edward" I nodded, it was so old fashion but it fit him….a Gentlemen. I continue to caress him
"Your touches feel like flowers, so soft and delicate…..you wouldn't believe how bad I wanted to feel this….you" and for the first time, I felt myself get aroused without being force. He was making my body react and I couldn't understand it
"If that was the case…why didn't you buy me sooner, why put your self in pain like that" I questioned as he signed "Because beautiful, I needed to know who Cinnamon was. I wanted to get to know you without coming off like a stalker. I brought girls not for pleasure but to get information about you" well what was I suppose to say to that, I felt my non-existing self-esteem come back to life. We finally stop, he was still holding my hand so I didn't try to move nor did want too. We had stopped in front of a huge beach house, I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and spoke into my ear
"Like it! It's huge….how much did this cost you" I rambled, he laughed ushering us inside, brining my things in as well. The first thing I saw was a beautiful white piano, looking around the place I just couldn't believe that I got so lucky.
"I brought this house when I promise myself when I find that special someone…I was going to give it to her" I felt the world crush down on my heart, of course he was married….when are they not! "That's lovely" I whispered hurt as I lowered my eyes but felt him in front of me pulling my chin up and looking into my eyes
"You don't understand…I've been waiting for this someone for three months and today I finally have my special someone, and she standing in front of me now" my brain was trying to comprehend what he just said but was having trouble. He let his lips glaze my ear and whispered
"You're my special beautiful brown eyed girl that I've been waiting for, I wanted to give you everything your heart desires Isabella" I gasped as tears flooded my eyes
"H….How" he grabbed my face in his big hands "I told you I needed to know everything about you, I know that you where born in Washington and your full name is Isabella Marie Swan but you like to be called Bella…your favorite color is blue, you like to read and sing, I could go all night my love" at this point I was sobbing, this doesn't happen in real life… to me it doesn't. I don't see why he would do all this for me
I was just another whore….what made me different?
"Why? What's so special about me….you could've had any girl in there but you picked me, I'm just used goods" he quickly pulled me to the couch and hugged me close….our lips were inches apart
"Cinnamon" I cut him off, Bella was long gone and she wasn't coming back. He shook his head
"No…your name is Bella, Cinnamon was dead the moment you walk out of there. And I don't want to hear that name every again" I nodded not wanting to piss him off. "To your question….Bella, you are a strong and beautiful person who has been beating, raped and force into a life you didn't asked for. When I see you, I don't see your scars or the empty looks you give" kissing my forehead, moving to my eyes, running across my nose "I see a women, a adorable woman who needs a man to care for her and love her until she starts to believe it and Bella I want to be that man for you, yes I have a wife but she's doesn't make me feel even a half of what you make me feel. I swear just sitting here with you looking into your eyes, I never felt this type of emotions; not even when I exchanged vows with her" my heart was breaking, at that point I knew I loved him and that's why my heart was in pieces
God was punishing me…..just when I lost all hope and decided to end it he does this!
I don't want to hurt him but he had a life, I didn't. I was happy and realized that my time was over….I wanted out. Watching his facial expressions I needed to tell him but the words were stuck as he leaned in and kiss me, I couldn't help but moan into the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him even closer as he descended down to my neck and back up to my ear whispering
"Love can touch us one time Bella…..and will last for a lifetime" he wanted me to know that I was his lifetime.
Only thing I could do was show him, I gently pushed him back against the couch and straddled his waist, pulling him closer. I felt his hands ghost up and down my back as he kiss my shoulder and caressed my sides, I grinded my self back and forth in his lap.
"B….Bella, we don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can wait, the love I have for you…I can wait for ever" I clenched my eyes shut, and clung to his neck "N….No I want to, please…I want to make you feel what I'm feeling at the moment….please" I tried to make out with my whimpers as he grinded harder into me, at this point I was soaking wet. He pick us up and made our way to the bedroom. He gently laid me down and lean back to look at me "I want this to be special, I know your first time must have been horrible…so I want you to see this as your first time" I nodded not trusting my voice as he crawled on top of me. His touches was so patient and soft not hard and frantic like the others, his kisses was tender and not sloppy and dominate. Before I know it we were both naked and ready, I suddenly got nervous like a virgin….I knew what to do at Twilight Desires, all had to do was lay there and moan occasionally but this was different, this was real….feeling were involved and I was taught to never let feeling get involved. He must have took my hesitation for something else because he looked pained
"I'm sorry, I can stop" I shook my head and kissed him
"It's not that, I'm just nervous….what if I'm not good or-
I was cut off by his hands grabbing my soaked sex, I let my eyes roll as he caressed and fingered me until I was withering under him
"I'm nervous too" I laughed as he smiled "Doesn't seem like it" I manage to get out, his fingers was so deep inside me. I was moaning like crazy…and they weren't fake either, I tried to grab his arms but I couldn't reach them so I opened my eyes to see that he was gone
What the hell!
"Bella have you ever been made love to with a tongue?" my eyes widen…..he wouldn't, before I could answer I felt his finger gently spread my lips as his tongue slowly swirl around my swollen clit. I felt my fingers and toes curl
"UHH!" he sped up his movements, sliding his wet fingers in and out as his tongue flick my nub back and forth. Turning my head to the side, I let my eyes close and succumb to the ecstasy Edward was giving me. My legs was far apart and shaking, I ran my fingers through his hair "Yes! Right there….Oh my God!" he removed his finger and pulled me closer to his mouth, I whimpered and than moan loudly when he suck my whole clit into his mouth and kept sucking
"E…..Edward I…..I c….can't" I felt my walls clench, my body was convulsing. My screams were so loud I didn't recognize my own voice. "Baby….I'm about to-" I was cut off by the severe creeping feeling deep down in my stomach and before I could register what it was I exploded in his mouth. My legs was squeezing the life out of Edward, as my orgasm ran through me
"How, you feeling love" he asked coming into view, I saw that his lips were glistening like he had too much lip gloss on. I couldn't speak, my brain hasn't met up with my body yet. He smiled "That good uh!" I closed my eyes and nodded, he can back up and kissed me. I could feel his erection pressing dangerously close to my opening….nudging it
"I…can't wait any longer" I told him, he positioned his self and looked me in the eyes, he kissed my lips, my neck and down my collar bone, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I felt him push and I freaked
"Wait!..." he looked confused as hell "What" I looked between us and saw how big he was and how he didn't have a condom on
"Protection….I've been with a few people and I don't want to risk your life like that" I explained as he lean over the bed and reached into the drawer and pulled out a condom and quickly put it on. He kissed me sweetly and spoke genuinely
"Thank you" He pushed in, my eyes shut tightly as I gave a whimper slash cry. When he was all the way in, he waited to I got adjusted and then started to move; thrust after thrust, our bodies moved in sync as sweat started to form between us.
"My..My…My, Bella you feel amazing" he groaned loudly, pushing deeper and harder. My chest was bouncing widely as he tried to catch a nipple "OH! Edward…Baby that feels so good!" connecting our sweating foreheads, he looked in my eyes and pumped harder. I could feel him pulsing inside me, our movements started to get frantic and desperate. I felt tears in my eyes as our bodies slid wetly against each other, I was so close
"I love you" that all it took, my body locked for a few seconds and exploded as a sob cry escape my lips. His arms were clutching me to him as he flew over the edge, holding onto each other for dear life; I didn't know if it was sweat or tears that fell on my shoulders but I wasn't going find to out. I couldn't handle that, he pulled out and threw the condom away and came back…..laying his head down on my chest.
"Your heart beat, is soothing…almost like a lullaby" his voice was soft and quite, I ran my hands through his wet hair. "A lullaby that I never want to forget" for the tenth time, the tears blurred my vision. He turned us over so I was on top, I desperately clung to him as his arms wrapped strongly around me
"Yes" I swallowed the nerves and tried to keep my eyes open
"You're an Angel" I whispered as he signed "I'm no angel Bella, I far from an Angel" I squeezed him closer
"You're my Angel.." our bodies couldn't get any closer but I still tried, I felt the sleep over take me.
"My green eyed Angel" sleep took over us as we held on to each other all through the night.
Waking up to the blinding light of sun, beaming through the windows. I slowly opened my eyes, I felt so alive….last night was unbelievable. I still can't believe I finally got her, my love, my savoir. Rolling over I felt her soft skin against mines, I observed her as she slept; her eyes were closed tightly, her nose was scrunched up so adorably as her lips were sticking out. I couldn't stop myself, I kissed her as she moved but didn't wake up, I reluctantly got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to see if their were any thing edible to eat. Just my luck, not a damn thing in here
Well…I can go shopping real quick, the car is still outside.
Rushing to the other part of the house I quickly showered and wrote a note to her that I ran to store and will be right back. While I was driving, my phone was going off, I didn't want to answer it but I knew I had to
"Hello" I heard a thank god on the other line
"Edward, what the hell have you been" smiling as I pulled into the store.
"Rosalie you wouldn't believe me if I told you" I heard her tell me to wait so she could go somewhere private. "Alright lay it on me" getting out the car and walking into the store I told her everything from the time I left the office until now, she was quite and shocked
"Wow!... Edward you do realized you change that girl's whole life, how are you going to go about all this…ohhhh! Can I kill Tanya, and than you guys can live happy ever after" laughing I told her I'll think about, we talked for so more until I finished shopping and was loading the car, I was so giddy to get back home. Puling into the drive way I saw Gary standing on the porch looking confuse and sad, helping me get the bags out the car I finally had enough and spoke
"What's the problem" he ran his fingers through his hair nervously, sitting down on the stool he looked at me with pity eyes
"She's gone" I felt the hole in my chest widen and expand, I dropped the bag that was in my hands and flew to the bedroom…and sure enough she was gone. The bed was made up, her suite cases were gone…she left!
"No….No!" this couldn't be happing, she was suppose to love me and we were going to fight the world together. Why would she do this? From the corner of my eyes I saw a book on the bed with a note neatly put on top. My hands were shaking, I nervously grabbed the book and open it, the pages was worn out but it looked in fair shape; I put the book down and slowly opened the note.
Dear My Green Eyed Angel,
I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, my life has always been to submit; and I'm submitting. This life is not for me anymore, I know you said that Bella and Cinnamon was two different people….well their not. They both were cowards, they both let anyone and everything run their life, Bella was this shy virgin girl who was sheltered by her mother and father as Cinnamon was a submissive girl who was owned by many of men, who didn't care about her feeling. Everyday, I thought about suicide…not a day goes past without it entering my mind at some point, it was my escape….well until you came alone. Edward you made me want to live, to love….to trust; but I'm too damage to ever be fixed. Like you said last night, I've been beaten, raped, humiliated, tricked and broken. Why would you give all that you have for a person like that….like me? Edward you could have any woman you want, your gorgeous, your rich and most importantly….you have a big heart that needs filling. I can't fill your heart because I not capable of loving anymore, but last night….you made me feel like I could, you showed me how to love.
We made love last night….and it's all because of you, I never would have experience that ever if you never came into Twilight Desires. You told me that Love can touch us one time…and will last for a lifetime, I hope that's true. Because I will never forget you, wherever I go… heaven…hell, I will always remember Edward Cullen: My Green Eyed Angel….who says my heartbeats is his Lullaby.
My heart is broken
My eyes are dull
When these eyes open
I see you
I see love
I see strong
I see us
But when they closed
I see death
I see blood
I see no way out
You want everything
From the hole in my heart
To the dept of my damage soul
You want to love me
I want you to
But you want to know what I see
I see a lost girl
With no hope.
I have no hope for this life, I've accept it and maybe one day we will meet again….in another lifetime…you did say love last a lifetime, why can't ours.
Our love is not ordinary, nor are we….Edward and Bella, A tragic happily ever after.
I love you.
Bella Marie Swan a.k.a Brown Eyed Girl
I cried a million tears but they kept coming. She was going to ended it, she was leaving…..I clutched the note to my broken heart as it cracked slowly and painfully.
She was gone.
Bella Swan was no more….
As I laid back in the bed, I closed my eyes as I let the agonizing pain take over. The sheets smelled like her
I should've called for help but, I didn't…..I was dying from a broken heart, the pain was everywhere…..as darkness swept over me
Edward Cullen was no more...
Edward and Bella…..A tragic happily ever after.
Wow! I got teary eyed writing the ending.