|Sam Puckett's List of Ways to Be a Delinquent
Author: chasingafterstarlight PM
After a Ridgeway popularity list ranks Freddie near the bottom, Freddie recruits Sam to help him increase his status in the school. Will Sam be able to help him? Will they realize they don't hate each other? Seddie.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Freddie B. & Sam P. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,419 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 11-07-10 - Published: 09-27-10 - id: 6355953
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
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Chapter 3: Lying
"GET UP!" Sam bellowed at the foot of Freddie's bed the next morning.
He woke up immediately. "Sam…yeah, I knew it!"
"You've learned well, Benson," Sam said, a smirk dominating her face. "Well, let's go."
Running a hand through his hair, Freddie yawned, "What? Go where? I'm still in my pajamas."
"True. You might wanna put on a shirt, Benson, though nice abs you got there. Wouldn't have believed that such a nub could even have them," Sam muttered absently.
"Was that a compliment, Puckett?" Freddie wondered.
Shaking her head, Sam grinned. "It could be, Freddeveloped. And also…get rid of those Nub-Nub flannel PJ pants. You've had them since you were eight."
"How would you know?" Freddie scoffed. "I've only had them for a year."
"First, because they're about seven sizes too small," Sam commented. Freddie glanced down and blushed, seeing her observation was true. She continued, "And because you're a terrible liar. Now come on, put on a shirt. We've definitely got some work to do."
Pulling on a polo, Freddie asked, "And what lesson are we learning today, Teacher Puckett?"
"Lying," Sam played along. "I'll teach you how to lie, just like I did Spencer. Though I'd hope you're a better student than him."
Freddie turned red for a second. "Um, can you get out? I've got to change my pants."
"Scared of me seeing your pink undies?" Sam teased. "All right, whatever. You've got 1 minute on the clock, Freddumb."
After a minute exactly, Freddie joined her downstairs. "What, no motorcycle?" joked the young boy upon arrival.
"Nah, I decided to be generous and gave it back," Sam answered. "Today we're going ala Mopedo."
"A moped?" Freddie snickered. "That's like, anti-bad. It's pretty… wimpy, actually."
"Wimpy? It's got flames painted down the sides, Benson. Flames and dragons. This is the worst moped you've ever seen," Sam protested, her icy blue eyes glaring at him.
"Sure, it is, Princess Puckett," Freddie snickered, flicking her nose in a playful way.
Slugging his arm in a painful way, Sam pulled his arm. "Let's go."
"Fine." Freddie slid on behind her. "Can I drive?"
"Why?" said a suspicious Sam.
Freddie rolled his eyes. "I don't trust you. You'll probably crash or something."
"Like you could do any better," Sam scowled.
"I could," retorted Freddie, offended. "I'll have you know that I drove a moped everyday when I lived in my last city."
"Says the guy who called mopeds wimpy," Sam scoffed.
"Whatever," replied an unaffected Freddie. "Now get on, I'm driving."
"You are not," stated Sam.
"I'll buy you a pound of ham."
"Deal," Sam grinned. "Well, get on, Fredloser."
Freddie hopped on the moped, then winced. "Oh my Justin Bieber, Sam! What did you do to this seat?"
"Seat warmers," Sam informed him. "I can't have my butt getting cold."
"But it's only September," Freddie complained. "My butt isn't cold."
"Deal with it," Sam told him, climbing on behind him. She then wrapped her arms around his waist. "Giddyap, Fredhorse!"
"I'm not a horse," Freddie muttered, but he began to move the thing anyway. Slowly.
"HURRY UP!" Sam yelled, squeezing his waist tight.
"Fine." Freddie sped up…a little.
"DUDE! YOU DRIVE LIKE A GRANDMA!" Sam shrieked. Putting her hand over his on the ignition, she sped it up a lot. "Much better. Now let's go, Benson!"
"To the school?" Freddie inquired.
Finally, the two arrived at the school.
"Gibby," Sam groaned upon seeing the shirtless boy. "What are you doing here? Do you come here every day or something?"
"Yeah!" Gibby exclaimed.
"What are you doing?" Freddie asked.
"Rehearsing for my dance recital, same as yesterday," Gibby informed him. He was wearing a black leotard with pink leg warmers and ballet shoes. "Except today is Taylor Swift. You Belong With Me, ever heard of it?"
"Yeah, I have," Freddie replied. Sam snickered from behind him. Ignoring her, Freddie asked, "But isn't that typically a…a girl song?"
"NO!" Gibby screamed. "No, it's not! How come everyone thinks that?"
"Because it's about a girl, Gib," Sam broke in. "It's about a girl singing about her crush that's going out with another girl."
"Whatever!" Gibby retorted. "I've got to finish rehearsing. The show is soon. Do you guys want to come?"
"Maybe some other time," The two said in unison. "But, thanks."
As they both walked off, Sam grinned evilly. "Time for your first lesson in how to lie. Repeat after me. I am a purple hippopotamus."
"I am a purple," Freddie broke down in laughter.
Burying her face in her hands, Sam got out, "This is even worse than I thought. All right, let's start off with a simple one, Freddork. Imagine this. Your mommy wants you to stay at home and knit with her, unless you have school related plans. Too bad Jonny is throwing the party of the year that night."
"Who's Jonny?" Freddie interjected.
"I made him up, Frednub. Now shut it! Jonny's throwing the party of the year, and you want to go. So what do you say?" Sam prodded.
"Can I go to the party, please, Mom?" Freddie pleaded.
Sam rolled her eyes. "Oh my…Jonas Brothers, loser. How do you expect to get anything?"
"Beg and plead?" Freddie wondered. "Look, Sam, I don't need to know this…"
"Do you wanna raise your rep or not?" Sam retorted. "Just try."
"Fine." Freddie sighed. "Mom, can I go to school to… study?"
"Better," Sam nodded. "Now say it again."
"What?" Freddie blinked. "I already said it…."
"SAY IT AGAIN!" roared Sam.
"Mom, can I go to school to study?" Freddie repeated.
"Again," Sam didn't even blink.
"Mom, can I go to school to study?"
"Mom, can I go to school to study?"
"Mom, can I go to school to study?"
A bored Freddie mumbled, "Mom, can I go to school to study?"
"Perfect," Sam grinned. "See, you say it with such a bored tone that you finally don't show any emotion, prissy boy. Just say it like that and your mom might believe you."
"Good." Freddie groaned. "Can I go now?"
"No," Sam commanded. "You'll stay here, nerd. I'm not finished."
"Fine," sighed Freddie. "What's next?"
"Insulting. Go insult Gibby," Sam commanded.
Freddie threw up his hands. "No way, Sam. Gibby and I are friends."
Sighing, Sam replied, "Fine. Insult me."
"Your…hair…is ugly," Freddie couldn't think of anything.
"You're such a loser, Benson. Can't even think of a good insult," Sam groaned.
"I can!" Freddie protested. "Just…not when I'm looking at you."
"What?" Sam cocked an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Freddie blushed. "Never mind. Anyway, I have to go."
"Your homework is to think up some better insults. And buy me the pound of ham you owe me! Ooh, better make that two pound of ham," Sam informed him. "Now, Fredelina, you're dismissed."
"Oh, am I?" Freddie muttered darkly. "What the Harry Potter? Since when is she the boss of me?"
"Since always, Benson," Sam told him as she walked by. "And get ready for tomorrow. You're getting a makeover."
"A what?" Freddie exclaimed, but she was already gone.
A/N: Ooh, makeover!
Get ready for next chapter!
I don't think this one is that good, but maybe (hopefully) next will be better. Anyone catch all the Secret Seddie?
And UGH! Not that much Seddie in iDo! And the stupid Creddie about rubbing her feet. Oh my Lady Gaga! (Everyone at my school says that, lol).
But…the trailer for iStart a Fanwar!
I'll admit, the thing about Sam being Creddie shocked me, especially since her infamous line in iSYL: "It makes me want to puke up blood." But maybe (hopefully) it's a joke! Let's hope for Seddie!
Any new info? Any comments? Tell me! Any favorite parts?