|Do You Love Her?
Author: justagayshark PM
'"Well at least I've never had a crush on a girl." Santana stopped dead, her jaw clenching as she slowly turned around to face the girl again. "What?" she hissed threateningly.' Rachel/Santana friendship. Brittana.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Friendship - Santana L. & Rachel B. - Words: 2,307 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 11 - Published: 09-27-10 - id: 6356457
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Do You Love Her?
Pairing: Brittany/Santana | Mostly Rachel/Santana friendship.
Summary: "Well at least I've never had a crush on a girl." Santana stopped dead, her jaw clenching as she slowly turned around to face the girl again. "What?" she hissed threateningly.
Glee had ended only minutes before, but the room was quickly emptying. Brittany had enthusiastically pulled her backpack onto her shoulders, standing and waiting for Santana to do the same. The other girl was moving slowly, coolly putting her stuff into her bag and placing it onto her seat.
"You go, I'll meet you there," she smiled at the girl, knowing that she was eager to get to lunch.
The blonde smiled back. "Be quick, my mom made me cookies!" she enthused, softly and subtly caressing Santana's fingers with her own before turning on her heel and skipping out of the door.
Santana beamed at the disappearing figure, before turning to her right and seeing the only person still left in the room with her; Rachel Berry.
She quickly frowned at the girl, who looked instantly away.
"What are you still doin' here?"
Rachel didn't look up as she replied. "I am working on my vocals for our upcoming number. I'm the lead, I need to make sure that my voice is impressive enough to be heard above everyone else's."
Santana shook her head disapprovingly. "You're a freak," she said simply, closing the zipper on her bag.
"I resent that comment," Rachel responded quickly, getting to her feet, "if you had the lead, then maybe you wouldn't be acting as spiteful as you are right now."
Santana glared at her. "If I wanted it, I could have it."
"You can't get everything you want, Santana. Despite what your stance within the school hierarchy may entitle you to, there are some things that are simply out of your reach."
Santana laughed spitefully. "Speaking of 'out of your reach', at least I've never had a crush on a teacher," she quipped, tuning on her heel and heading for the door.
"Well at least I've never had a crush on a girl."
Santana stopped dead, her jaw clenching as she slowly turned around to face the girl again. "What?" she hissed threateningly.
Rachel felt herself shrink, instantly regretting her words. She was sure by the look on Santana's face that the girl was about to snap. Her eyes were threatening and her lips thin in anger.
"I..." she voiced, taking a step back and looking away from the terrifying eyes. "Just...I assumed-"
"Yeah, well don't assume anything about something that you know nothing about," Santana quickly snapped, cutting her off and pointing her hand at the other girl meaningfully. She had taken a step forward in her rage, causing Rachel to step back yet again, her legs hitting a chair and sending her flying onto the ground.
The other girl couldn't help but laugh slightly as her body loosened a little, but she quickly rolled her eyes when she realised that Rachel seemed to have genuinely hurt herself. She walked slowly towards her, sticking out her hand in a I-don't-really-care sort of way, and silently offered to help her to her feet.
Rachel, with extreme caution, took the hand and found herself upright again seconds later.
"You alright?" Santana asked nonchalantly, pulling her hand away again and folding her arms tightly across her chest.
Rachel nodded, looking down. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to offend you, it just came out after you made that comment about me and Mr Schuester. I would like to confirm, however, that it was a crush that lasted only a few days, and absolutely nothing happened."
Santana stood absolutely a still, her arms still folded, and simply lifted an eyebrow. "I really don't care," she said flatly.
Rachel nodded again, her view finding her feet that shuffled uncomfortably on the floor. This was the first time that she'd ever spent alone with Santana and been the least bit civil. In fact, she thought, it was possibly the only time they had ever spent alone at all.
"What made you say it?" Santana asked eventually, breaking the awkward silence. When Rachel looked up questioningly she continued, "the having a crush on a girl thing. Where did you get that from?"
The brunette's eyes darted all around the room, trying to find something else to take her interest but the inquisitive yet angry brown eyes in front of her. She failed, leaving them flickering around the room as she spoke. "Tina had said something about what Brittany said during a phone call..." she settled on saying, hoping that Santana would accept the explanation. When the dark haired girl stayed silent, not moving her glare away from Rachel, she continued. "And by the way you act together...I just guessed-"
She was cut off by a loud sigh and roll of the eyes as Santana shook her head. "Why does everyone stick their noses in other peoples business?"
"Um...not to be rude," Rachel said meekly, "but you gossip more than most people I know."
Santana glared. Rachel shrunk.
"I just," she breathed, folding her arms again, looser this time. She finally set her eyes back on Rachel's, stifling a laugh seconds later. "Why the hell am I talking to you about this?"
The brunette was unsure if this was actually a question, so she she stayed silent, simply shrugging.
"You're dads are fags right?" she asked.
Rachel's head shot up, glaring at the girl. "I would prefer it if you wouldn't use such derogatory terms," she snapped, surprising even herself, "but yes, they are both gay men."
Santana nodded. "And do they like, get their asses kicked for it?"
Rachel thought for a moment, staring off into space. "Not any more, but I know that they both had difficult experiences during high school and college."
Santana nodded again, taking in the answer for a moment and looking down at the ground. Her confident stance didn't change, however, at least trying to mask the vulnerability in everything she was saying. She was in high school; it was the worst possible time for anyone to be finding out about her, about her relationship with Brittany. She was a cheerio, too, which made the thought even more terrifying.
"Times have changed considerably," the brunette said softly, bringing Santana from her thoughts after seeing the worry in her face, "it's much more accepted now."
"Maybe in your world. Pretty much everyone in theatre is a homo."
Rachel's face was suddenly confused, her eyebrows furrowing. "Why do you use such horrible words when you're..." she paused, unsure of where the line between acceptable questions and dangerous territory lay. She silenced herself instead, hoping that Santana would know what she meant.
Santana sighed. "It's how everyone around me has always spoken about them...me?" she said softly, confused, and slightly hesitant. She wasn't sure why she was saying this to Rachel, of all people, but honestly she had been thinking about it for a while.
Who could she possibly tell?
Puck would laugh, ask her to give him details, to show him exactly what her and Brittany do together. And then, without a doubt, he would tell almost all of the football team so that they could all share the images in their heads, and then they could laugh about it together every time she and Brittany walked by.
Quinn would, no doubt, grab her bible and start reciting the passages about homosexuality being a sin. Santana wasn't sure how she would be one to judge, considering she had pre-marital sex with her boyfriends best friend and got knocked up, but she had heard Quinn making quips about Rachel's dads in the past; she knew that she wouldn't be big on the idea.
Finn would just be confused.
Rachel, however, grew up with two dads. She joined the nearly non-existant GSA in their school, went on marches for gay rights with her fathers; even once wearing a T-shirt to school in protest of Prop 8. She was made for the stage, possibly the gayest profession that ever existed. She would surely be supportive; be willing to listen, to help. But she hated Santana, who had thrown slushie after slushie into the girl's face for years. She could no doubt use this information for blackmail.
Santana needed to tell someone, though. And of all the options that she could think of, Rachel seemed like her best bet.
"I don't want to be gay," she let out softly, almost silently. She never meant to sound so vulnerable, or for her lip to begin to tremble as she finally let out those words. She quickly looked at the floor; determined not to show Rachel that she was, in fact, human.
There was a moment of silence, anxious silence, before Rachel spoke again.
"It's not something that you get to choose, unfortunately." Santana could tell by Rachel's voice that she was trying her best to reassure her. She could hear pity in everything Rachel was saying, and she hated it.
"Look," Santana finally said, looking up again after making sure that her tears were safely locked away. "I'm not a frickin pity party, okay?" she trailed off, taking a second to calm herself down. She didn't want to get angry at Rachel, to scare her. For the first time she just wanted the girl to listen to everything she had to say. "I thought I could get through high school just...screwing guys, and forget about it until I wasn't a cheerio any more, and I didn't have a reputation to keep..."
Rachel let her mouth curl into a subtle smile. "And then you met Brittany?"
Santana also smiled at the mention, nodding before looking away. "She doesn't get why we are keeping it secret from everybody. She's so innocent that it makes me want to puke, but at the same time, it makes me want to just...hold her and keep her safe. I've never met anybody that is so effortlessly...Brittany," she laughed.
Rachel couldn't help but laugh a little too when she saw the warmness in Santana's eyes as she spoke about the girl. She didn't have time to process the shock that she was overcome with, and instead just listened to everything that Santana had to say.
"I wish I could be like her. She hangs out with everybody; the popular bitches, the glee kids, the retards."
Rachel's smile faltered at the harsh word, though she quickly shook the frown away. It was kind of refreshing to be reassured that Santana was still Santana.
"Everyone loves her for who she is, genuinely, and she doesn't even know it."
There was again a silence that covered the room; but this time it was comfortable, and in the grand scheme of things, necessary.
"I kind of get it now," Rachel voiced without really realising.
Santana glanced up, confused. "What?"
"Why she loves you," the girl smiled, "I always thought you were just a bitch. I never knew why she would even want to be around you...now I see it."
Santana smiled, quickly stopping herself and replacing it was a scowl. "If you tell anyone about this, you know I will make your life hell, right?"
"I figured," Rachel replied, rolling her eyes and missing the strangely friendly moment between the two of them.
"You shouldn't be scared, you know."
"Really. You will lose all of this, anyway. Once high school's over, you won't be a cheerleader, and you won't have any sort of stance amidst people. That reputation that built up for years will just be all for nothing-"
"Is there a point to this, or are you just kicking me while I'm down?"
Rachel laughed. "My point is, the only thing that will stay with you are your friends. You want to trade something really amazing with Brittany for memories of you being head cheerleader for a couple years?"
Santana knew Rachel was right, and instead of admitting it to the girl, she looked away and allowed her to continue.
"Do you love her?"
Hesitantly, the dark haired girl slowly nodded.
"Then there's really nothing to even think about. Even if you lose some friends, you'll have every single one of the glee club behind you," she smiled warmly, shocked when Santana returned the gesture.
"Thanks," she let out without thinking, kicking herself afterwards.
Rachel nodded, not saying a word as she passed the girl to head for the door.
"You know...I should ask the school paper if they need an agony aunt. I'd be a good agony aunt..." she pondered as she stopped just before reaching the door.
Santana chuckled as she saw the girl place her hands on her hips, actually considering her future as the all star agony aunt of McKinley High.
She didn't wait for her to leave before she pulled her bag off of her shoulders, digging her hand in quickly to pull out her cellphone.
'Can you meet me after school? I have somethin I need to say xxx' she typed quickly, selecting Brittany's name from top of the recently used contacts, and sending it.
When she looked up, Rachel was gone.
A/N: A random idea, because I sort of like the idea of Rachel and Santana having a little, surprising friendly moment on the show. Thanks for reading! :)