Author: Vi0lentSerenity PM
Edward has an interesting collection, one that Alice feeds and one that Jasper doesn't appreciate - Birthday Present to Gypsysue au - Written with StolenxSanityRated: Fiction M - English - Humor - Edward & Jasper - Words: 1,168 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10-10-10 - id: 6389731
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to SM.
Big thanks to naelany for beta'ing and for the word prompts and to my bbdoll, life partner baneling for the picture prompt.
Era: Dear Sue,
You are lovely...When I asked Tania for some direction in writing this A/N...and this is what she suggested.
*start of convo*
um...do we want to make any specific points?
just happy birthdayyyyy
and we're retarded
but she still loves us
because we're awesome too
*end of convo*
So yeah...Happy Birthday, my love! Would you like to be my dirty mistress? I feel like we don't see each other enough. It's the only other gift I can offer you. Because when you read these drabbles...I believe your train of thought will go something like "Um...who..where...wait, what the fuck just happened?" So, explanation. I'm not sure if you've seen the picture...but...2 months ago Tania said to me...we need to write 30 drabbles for Sue's birthday. "Okay, no problems...let's do them before my midterms." Cue to 2 weeks ago. "OMG. We need to write!" So we cut it way down and decided for it to be a lite version since I was entering a near-psychotic study ridden state. "This is the picture prompt I've been given and here are the words. I don't know what to make of this so I'm gonna put it on you." Well...remember that near-psychotic study ridden state...yeah, well with 1 hour and 22 minutes of sleep, too much Ritalin/coffee and the strong need to procrastinate that near-psychotic became totally and completely neurotic and delusional. And well...That's how we ended up here. I'm sorry in advance. I can't really tell you where to go from here. But...um...I know have a silver owl necklace that I've named Thomas.
P.S. I'm all better now...sane and stuff. Midterms/Practicals over and set to leave for Puerto Rico...which is where I'll be on your birthday so please don't take offense if you don't hear from me personally. ily. –Era
Well, then, since she basically covered everything ... Happy Birthday, bb. I don't even know what to follow her epic A/N up with except that. Oh, and I love. Oh, and I totally perved up Winnie-the-Pooh. I'm so terrible. If you (or anyone else) doesn't understand the title reference, refer to here: http:/www(DOT)just-pooh(DOT)com/owl(DOT)html ... Like I said, I totally perved up a kiddie story. Oops? Yea, I'm not really sorry about it either. *shrugs* Anyway, we hope you at least get a laugh out of these if you don't think we're completely bat shit insane, or something. For the record, though, WE think we're completely bat shit insane. Truth. I love you, bbdoll. Again, happy freakin' birthday and I hope you have/had an amazing, amazing day! - T
Edward and I were moving today. The apartment he'd shared with his sister was too small for all three of us and I needed to get away from my parents.
It had taken us awhile to find the right apartment. After weeks of combing the ads and calling realtors, we finally came across exactly what we were looking for. It wasn't too big, nor was it too far from our respective jobs.
It was, in short, perfect.
From the moment that the sun had risen, we'd been in constant movement.
It wasn't until we'd begun unpacking that I saw them.
My mouth ran dry as dozens of black button eyes stared up at me from the box in which they were so neatly packed away. These were not supposed to come with us.
"Oh! There they are. I was worried Alice had forgotten to pack them for me."
Sheer joy spread over his face as he took the box from me and headed straight into our bedroom.
"Yeah…that would have been awful."
I forced cheer into my tone as I spoke; he loved those motherfucking owls so much. I couldn't take that from him.
I'd just have to endure it.
"G'mornin' to you, too," I muttered lowly, a stuttered groan falling from my lips.
My eyes fell closed as Edward responded by taking my cock into his mouth and humming around the slick, swollen flesh.
I couldn't remember falling asleep but I wasn't complaining about the method Edward used to wake me up. His hands and lips worked together in tandem, playing my body like he did his piano.
It was the feeling of being watched that drew me from the edge of bliss I'd been teetering on. My gaze met those of the tiny stuffed owls across the room.
Days had passed and still they stared.
Every movement was tracked; every moan was seemingly mocked by their blank looks and colorful cloth body patterns.
I couldn't take it anymore. The motherfucking owls had to go.
I mildly entertained the thought of hacking them to bits with various objects. The scissors, a kitchen knife, a borrowed chainsaw…but in the end, I realized it had to be Edward's decision to let them go, as any stuffed owl acts of murder would likely result in our demise.
Now I just had to figure out how to make it seem for the best.
"Edward," I called out as I entered the apartment. I could hear his muffled movements coming from the direction of the bedroom.
I'd mentioned a few days prior that the owls creeped me out and, after a lot of debating and disagreements, he'd finally relented. He would be donating them to Goodwill.
Entering the room, I watched as Edward packed what was left of the owls into a box, his mouth turned down into a frown. Sighing, I stepped into the room and wound my arms around his waist, hugging him to me.
"Thank you," I whispered against his temple
Curiosity overrode my suspicion.
The box had arrived mere moments before, clearly hand delivered; an envelope taped on top with my name written by Alice's unique scribble. There were still a few hours until Edward arrived home from work and fearing the worst, I carefully opened the letter.
"Man the fuck up."
Oh, dear God, no. I ripped into the box and my worst fears were confirmed.
More motherfucking owls were contained within. Double in their numbers, stronger in their presence.
I had two choices, be the bigger man and let my man be happy…
Or find the fucking matches.