Author: ilovetvalot PM
TEAM FIC - Have you ever wondered what kind of predator Dr. Spencer Reid feels like his teammates imitate? Read on to find out.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - S. Reid - Words: 1,748 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10-11-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6392799
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: Hello, friends. A couple of announcements for you all today.
We have THREE days left to nominate our favorite stories and authors for first ever ff. net based Profiler's Choice Awards located at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". The nomination deadline is October 15, 2010. We have had a great response so far and we still want to hear from you. Rules, deadlines, and the blank ballot are all located at the forum (which can be reached thru a link in both my and tonnie2001969's profile pages).
We'd also like to announce our first ever ff. net based "Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange"! Sign-ups are simple. Participants can either PM us or join on the forum thread telling us 1) Which pairings you would feel comfortable writing, 2) the central pairing you'd like to be featured in the story you receive as a Christmas gift, and 3) Name a Christmas carol plus three Christmas-y prompts you'd like to see in the story you receive as a Christmas gift (you'll only have to use three of the four items in the actual fic). Assignments will be given on November 1st and you'll have until DECEMBER 25, 2010 to post your gift. Further details are available at the forum. Please, let's make this a Merry Christmas for ALL!
We also have a new discussion thread open for your comments called, "What Do We, the Authors, Owe Our Readers?" Please drop by and leave your thoughts.
Dr. Spencer Reid took a deep breath as he settled into his regular seat aboard the BAU jet and looked around at his colleagues.
He knew these faces well. Each wore a similar expression, a mixture of weariness and dismay at the atrocities they'd witnessed in their latest unsub, and the burden was reflected in every team member's eyes.
"Does anybody else ever get tired of hunting these freaking predators?" Derek Morgan asked from beside the young genius, his voice tight with the strain of the case they'd just finished.
"Being tired goes with the job," Dave commented absently, his dark eyes staring out the plane's window.
"And actually," Reid added, watching the older profiler as he stretched his legs out in front of him, "for our unsubs, we're a kind of predator, too. A more highly evolved species, but predators none the less."
"What?" Emily asked, her forehead creasing as she turned to look at Reid, tugging at the blanket that had been conveniently left in her seat.
"Reid has a point," Hotch murmured from his position beside Prentiss. "We prey on predators."
"Expand, my little genius," Penelope Garcia urged, propping her chin against her hand as she stared at Reid with twinkling eyes. "What kind of predator are you?"
"This I gotta hear," JJ smiled, her head, too, turning toward Reid and focusing her blue eyes on his face.
"Me?" Reid asked, his eyes widening. Cocking his head, he said, confidently, "I do believe I share most of the characteristics of the Black Mamba snake."
"Ewww," Pen grimaced, wrinkling her nose in distaste as she involuntarily pulled back against her seat. "A cold-blooded reptile?"
"Do tell," Emily invited readily, Reid's analysis capturing her attention.
"Well, the Black Mamba is actually quite shy under normal circumstances. The animal only becomes aggressive when confronted. However, when they do strike out at their prey, they do so repeatedly, barraging the chosen victim with their venom, much like I try to overwhelm an unsub with data."
"I hate to say it, but damn, that makes sense," Morgan stated with grudging respect in his deep voice. Nudging Spencer with his shoulder, Derek asked, "What about me, Pretty Boy? Whatddaya think I am?"
"Silverback gorilla," Emily snorted indelicately, rolling her eyes as she glared at her teammate. "You did everything but beat your chest when we caught this last unsub."
"Actually," Reid interjected smoothly, well accustomed to the minor skirmishes among his team, "I would compare Morgan to the North American Grizzly Bear. He did take our unsub down with one punch. Much like the grizzly bears can fell a foe with one swipe of their paws as they can be very violent in their quest for prey. After a lengthy chase, of course. Luckily for us," Reid said with a half-smile at Morgan, "You run as fast as the bear, too."
"Cool," Morgan nodded with a satisfied smirk at Reid before he grinned across the aisle at Emily.
"Me next!" Penelope chirped enthusiastically, waving her arms in the air. "I wanna know what I am!"
"Trust me, Garcia, I don't think they've come up with a description for you," Dave winked, shaking his head at the antics of their self-proclaimed queen of happiness.
"Actually, I'm thinking a tarantula's characteristics fit you quite nicely," Reid objected, canting his head to the side as he observed Garcia.
"You're comparing me to an ugly, hairy creepy-crawly?" Garcia gaped, her eyebrows knitting together.
"Not in appearance," Reid quickly denied, easily backtracking before he found himself wrapped up in Garcia's version of an inescapable web. "But, the while the tarantula might appear small and innocent compared to other predators, it is, in reality, one of the most deadly. Stealthy and skilled, much like you with a keyboard, it waits for his victim. And when they least suspect it, those spiders subdue it and crush it with their fangs. Granted, you have a more electronic bite, but no less ruthless."
"Why, thank you, Dr. Reid," Garcia smiled, pleased by his analysis, making a mental note to send him a copy of his favorite Spider Man comic book as a small token of her appreciation.
"I'm almost afraid to hear what he comes up with for me," JJ murmured, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, "but, I can't resist. Lay it on me, Reid."
"Crocodile," Reid offered readily, meeting the blonde's eyes.
"A crocodile?" JJ gaped in a mixture of shock and surprise.
"JJ, I don't know if you've noticed, but when angered, you share a startling similarity with that predatory beast," Reid stated knowledgably, leaning his shoulders back in his seat.
"I wanna hear this," Dave said, his interest getting the better of him as he leaned forward to look at Reid.
"The crocodile is camouflaged by the environment he's in, just as our JJ looks more the part of reporter than FBI agent," he said, gesturing toward his inquisitive friend.
"So?" JJ growled, raising one eyebrow as she all but dared the know-it-all to dig his way out of his newest verbal pit.
"Sooo, the better to wrap your serrated teeth around a reporter that ticks you off and shake him 'til he's dead," Reid informed her pleasantly. Noticing the confused faces around him, Reid expanded, "That's how the croc kills. He bites the victim, drags them in the water and shakes them until they succumb."
"Bloodthirsty," Dave nodded, winking at JJ. "That fits."
"Gee, thanks," JJ frowned, barely resisting the urge to stick her tongue out in retaliation. "Do Dave next," she ordered with a sugary smile aimed in the older agent's direction.
Twisting his lips uncomfortably, Reid shrunk back in his seat as he mumbled, "I don't want to say."
"Spit it out, Kid," Dave bid the younger man good naturedly, waving a calm permissive hand in the air.
"Great White Shark," Reid said in a rush. Watching as Dave cocked one eyebrow, he hurriedly stated, "One big bite and the prey is toast. The shark waits while the victim weakens and then takes his time in eating it. In your interrogations, you bump the unsub, much like the shark, lull them into a false sense of security and then...you bite. Hard."
Nodding his approval, Dave grinned in self-satisfaction. "I think I like that analogy."
"You would," Emily teased, rolling her eyes.
"And, Emily, of course," Reid said, barely pausing, "is the African lioness."
"Where do you get that?" Emily asked in disbelief, jerking her dark head quickly in his direction.
"From the time they are cubs, lions and lionesses learn their place within the pride by mock fighting. This is similar to how you learned to parry and feint in your very political family. It prepared you to deal with unsubs."
"My mother will simply be THRILLED to hear THAT," Emily laughed, imagining the mental picture of a very prim and proper Ambassador Prentiss at war in the middle of the Serengeti.
"Also, while the lioness only has a twenty percent success rate at bringing down the prey, that's actually quite impressive."
"Why?" Morgan asked, getting into the spirit of the discussion.
"Because, the prey a lion or lioness is usually bringing down is almost always considerably more substantial than the lioness."
"Well," Emily smirked, pretending to examine her fingernails, "I AM a badass, after all."
"That only leaves the Boss Man," Penelope said excitedly, pointing toward a slowly relaxing Hotch.
Shooting a look of sheer admiration in his Unit Chief's direction, Reid answered promptly, "Grey Wolf."
"Explain, Reid," Hotch said softly, slowly looking up from the file in his lap.
"For the grey wolf, success is achieved by the cooperation of the pack," Reid offered, gesturing at the group. "We're the pack," he stated with a shrug.
"I think we got that part, Spence," JJ teased, reaching over to pat her friend's shoulder.
"Anyway, the pack encourages the prey to run and the alpha wolf," Reid enlightened them, pointing at Hotch, "leads the chase. The pack surrounds the victim and the alpha strikes first. The others fall into line."
"Like us," Morgan grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Like us," Reid confirmed, nodding.
"Well," Hotch drawled, his smile barely hidden underneath his tight lips, "as alpha wolf, I'm ordering all of us to get some sleep. We've got a long night at the office when we get home filling out closing paperwork."
And with those authoritative words, the entire team began to relax, the word 'home' striking a common chord in each person. Collectively, they were a powerful predator, each one of them bringing a unique set of strengths to the living, breathing organism they formed.
And, together they would prevail.