|Let's Go To Walmart
Author: karabell-karaboo723 PM
Well, Harry and Ron are at Wal-Mart. And, they have the list of things to do there. God, help us all. No OC's, and this has an actual plot lineRated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Harry P. & Ron W. - Words: 983 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10-15-10 - id: 6401559
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay, this one just came to me.
It is so over done, but I really couldn't resist.
Everyone will be a bit OOC, obviously, but my goal is to keep them at least a bit in character.
Well, wish me luck!
And I own nothing
Let's Go To Wal-Mart!
"So, why are we doing this again?" asked Hermione, as she Harry, and Ron approached a Wal-Mart, "Really, we could get in a lot of trouble for doing this."
"Oh lighten up, Hermione! We haven't had any fun in ages! All we do is hunt for Horcruxes and shit like that! We deserve a break!" said Ron
"Which is what we should be doing now! No one ever got ahead by playing pranks at a Wal-Mart! Cant we just go back to the tent and continue or search? I mean, you even said that they were the most important thing in our life's, Harry." Said Hermione
"Yeah, well, I deserve a break, you know! Besides, Ron's right. We haven't had any fun in ages. Just one day of not searching won't hurt us or any body else, you know." Whined Harry
"You know what! If you two are not going to take this seriously, then I am going back to the tent, and continuing my research on horcruxes! Good- Bye!" Said Hermione as she turned around on one heel and stomped away with her nose in the air
"Do you think that we should go after her, Ron?" asked a slightly worried Harry
"Naw, she'll be fine. Besides, I've never been to a Wal-Mart before! And this list looks really fun to try out!" said Ron excitedly
As they walked inside, they quickly decided against using magic, unless it was an emergency, because of all the muggles.
"Let's see. Number one, put boxes of condoms into random shopper's carts when they aren't looking. Okay, you can do that one, Harry." Said Ron
"Fine, but you have to set off all of the alarms in electronics." Said Harry
"Umm… Can we switch? I don't really know how to use an alarm." Said an embarrassed Ron
"Yeah, that might be a good idea." Agreed Harry
Ron quickly grabbed about ten to fifteen boxes of condoms. Now all that he needed was the perfect opportunity. THERE! It was a young woman, probably not much older than he was, and she seemed very absorbed in the ingredients of the cake mix that she was buying.
Now, to be discrete. Ron, quickly began to stroll down the aisle. He grabbed the box, and quickly stuck it in the cart. She didn't even look up from her cake mix.
"YOU SICK PERV!" said a voice from behind Ron.
He slowly turned around, dreading the worst.
"Is this how you planned on telling me that you don't want to wait until marriage?" The young woman was yelling at a man who had come up the aisle behind Ron. He appeared to be very confused about why his girlfriend was screaming at him.
"Bu- But I didn't! I- I just wouldn't , Liz, and you know it! It must have been someone else, like HIM!" he said as he spotted Ron.
"So first you stick condoms in my cart, and now you blame some poor random person? Is that it? What did I ever see in you?" she yelled, as she walked away
After giving Ron a quick death glare, he followed her.
That was some adrenaline rush, thought Ron
Harry honestly couldn't stop laughing as he watched the scene unfold. It was too perfect.
Now, it was his turn. He had the harder task at hand. Setting off all of the alarms at the same time and not getting caught would be a challenge. Ron, of course, would be no help, seeing as he had never used an alarm. Wait! Ron could be a distraction though!
"Excuse me miss, but could you tell me where you keep the phalanges?" asked Ron
"Umm… I don't think that we carry those, sir." Said a very confused Wal-Mart employee
"Could you check?" asked Ron
"Well,I'll see, I guess."
As this was happening, Harry crept down the aisle. Now, everybody knows that you cant really set them off for five minuets. But, you can make them all go off at the same time! nine thirty would be a good time for chaos to strike!
All of the display ones were done, as were the battery powered ones. But what about the ones that you had to plug in?
Suddenly, Harry spotted the answer. An extension cord with one of those extra plugs thingies. Perfect!
Now, all he had to do was wait for nine thirty.
Which was right about now!
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring! Went the alarm clocks.
"Oh no! not again! Why do people keep doing this!" yelled the twelve employees that were currently still attempting to help Ron find out whether or not the store carried any phalanges.
"Oh man, this is great! Look at them!" whispered Ron to Harry
"Yeah, this might be even better than when you put all of those condoms in that girl's cart!" said Harry excitedly to Ron, who was giggling furiously
"Just look at them run and panic!" giggled Ron from behind his hand
"This is just too funny!" said Harry, as the began to walk away from the scene of their crime
"I wonder If this can possibly get any better?" said Ron
"Well, lets find out!" said Harry excitedly
So, there I chapter one.
I'll probably do two to four a chapter, plus a conclusion chapter.
I actually have a vague plotline planned out.
If you want any specific things done, just let me know.