|Break in the Dark Grey Sky
Author: Elixir of Tears PM
The aftermath of the winter war, from the inside of Hinamori Momo's mind, if she were unable to heal. - OneshotRated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - M. Hinamori - Words: 1,256 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10-17-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6407167
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Rain pelted the rooftops and ground, leaving all silence covered by the dull static noise of each and every drop of water. Where was she now? How long had she been here? Oh, that's right. She was in the room that Captain Aizen had once used. She remembered that man, how kind he had been to her. Lieutenant Hinamori lay dazedly upon the floor, staring at the ceiling, or more so at the world past it. The world of nothing, imagining the dark grey sky above her. This world was nothing to her anymore. This dark sky was now how she viewed all life, spanning across her entire field of vision without a break in the clouds. Life was bleak. There was nothing beautiful about it any longer.
It started when she awoke in the Squad Four infirmary after the winter war. The last thing she had remembered was an intense pain in her chest, and Toushiro behind her, before everything in her dulled to nothing. She didn't know how long had passed between then and now, but she was fine again when she had woken. There was no proof left on her that she had taken a blow to any part of her body. As she recovered, she was left to think. She had so much time to think. Think about everything. Think about everyone. However, she had never been able to cry. If only she had at the time, maybe things would have been better in a way.
She was never able to wrap her head around how Captain Aizen could have been so cruel as to do anything like start such a commotion with the Soul Society and the world of the living. He had been such a kind man. There was no way he could ever have done this on his own. Never. She then remembered the last time she had seen him. She had halfheartedly walked into battle alongside the others against him, trying to convince herself that everyone was right. He wasn't a good man. However, in the end, she had been nearly killed by the one she thought was a comrade, just as Captain Aizen had done to her once before as well. Why? Why were the ones she treasured most doing this to her? First, the man she had loved. Then, the boy she had thought of as family. Who was next, her old friend Izuru? Or Renji? Even possibly Shuuhei? Then again, who was to say that Izuru or Shuuhei hadn't been in on everything the whole time? Izuru had defended Captain Ichimaru afterall, that day that they had found the dead Captain Aizen. Izuru wouldn't have defended that smiling bastard if he hadn't known.
In the end, her trust in everyone failed, as she lay there alone. No one had visited her in that entire time. There had been no one to change her mind. No one to tell her that everything would be all right in the end. She had been alone in that room. Somehow though, she was able to act like her normal self, able to act just fine, as she had been before. It was easy. It was how she had been for years, so putting up a front was no issue. She then, over the course of a few weeks, learned of everything that happened, whether she wanted to or not. She heard of Gin Ichimaru's death, from Matsumoto, and from Toushiro, of Aizen's sentancing by the Central Fourty-Six. She didn't care, though. Not anymore.
At some point, she began to isolate herself more, but no one paid no attention to it. Or at least, pretended not to. They knew she was still in the process of healing, or thought she was, and didn't want to press matters on it. At one point, Izuru had asked for her to come out more, that locking herself away was worse than being with people, and she had told him off. It was the one and only time she had let something so cruel pass her lips at anyone, and the guilt that hit her afterwards at saying something like that to the concerned boy was overwhelming. She had proceeded to lock herself away more, spending more time sleeping than anything. Eating was something that became a necessity only, and only to curb her hunger when it was unbearable. Otherwise, she had no desire to do anything. Time continued to pass, and Spring began to turn into Summer. Eventually, she stopped everything.
News broke to all squads that the lack of Captains would be fixed soon, and all empty spaces would be filled. That meant that she would be getting a new Captain to look up to. However, she didn't know that this new person would betray her or not. Who was to say that this new Captain wouldn't destroy everything as Captain Aizen had tried to do? This was where she had taken to this room for solitude, this being her last chance before a new Captain would be in here. She couldn't imagine having a new Captain. She couldn't imagine keeping up this facade any longer. Hinamori closed her eyes, letting her ears take in the hushed and calming sound of the rain that had been pouring down for days. This sound was familiar. She had heard it a couple times before. Twice, recently. This was the sound of darkness, the sound that took all light from you and cast it away like a butterfly did to its cocoon. There was no need for it anymore anyways. She wanted to be like that butterfly, to have been able to become beautiful and fly amongst the falling leaves of fall when the time came. However, she had cocooned herself in the midst of winter, and tried to break free too soon. Now, it was too late. She was doomed to crawl the earth as a worm, devoured by the higher ups on the food chain. The sound in her ears grew louder, drowning out her thoughts. She rolled to her side, curling up as she felt a chill run through her body, exhaling slowly. She wanted to give up, she wanted to forget everything she had been through. If only she could have been smarter, she wouldn't have been entangled in Captain Aizen's plans. She would have been able to fight alongside her friends properly, without being so captivated by that man's illusions. If only she had been stronger. If only she was able to apologize for all the inconveniences she had caused during the winter war with her love for her Captain. And yet no one hated her for the things she had said or done. She felt her chest tighten painfully, just as she heard the rain come to a halt.
Her head shot to the window at the sudden silence, looking outside at the sky. She heard nothing outside this room now, not even any of the squad members just passing by. Not her breathing. Not her heart. Nothing. Silence had taken over the world. She watched as the clouds broke, letting in the first bit of sunlight the Soul Society had seen in a long time. The light touched her cold body, letting her warm slightly. Finally, the girl was able to cry, letting out several tears before smiling.
"It's so beautiful..."
She muttered, before disappearing along with the rain.