|It's Enough Now
Author: Trance-Faith PM
Arizona makes a decision the Christmas after Callie and she break up - but what will the consequences be.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Callie T. & Arizona R. - Chapters: 12 - Words: 28,096 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11-08-10 - Published: 10-20-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6413855
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: It's Enough Now
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's or Love Actually. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.
Author's Note: I was watching the film "Love Actually" the other night, and thought I would borrow an idea from a scene in the film. Also in terms of Grey's storyline – this is set after their break up, BUT I altered when they'd broken up, as this is set just before Christmas.
Beta: No beta was used while I wrote this, so all spelling and grammar mistakes are my own.
Reviews: Are much wanted please!
The blonde had been struggling with the idea that had racked her brains for the last few days. She wanted to get something for Callie for Christmas, but was at a loss at what was now acceptable to get her. They'd been broken up for months, and knew that they both had struggled since their break up, to be around each other, never mind contemplate the idea of "moving on". Whenever the Arizona was around the raven beauty she felt herself being dragged towards the other woman, like a gravitational pull, she had no control over. She just wanted to give up, and wrap her arms around the taller woman, and give her anything she wanted. She knew it was unfair on them both, but wished she could.
The small blonde was power walking towards her ex-friend's apartment, the place she'd been trying to avoid since the night which had effectively ruined her life. The night, she'd lost the meaning of life. The night she'd lost Callie. She was getting rather peculiar looks from people she passed; she wasn't massively surprised considering what she was carrying. She had wanted to drive across, but soon realised she would never get them into the car. Arizona knew Callie's best friend would be there with her, but also had a way to counteract his interference – she hoped it worked. The whole plan would be seriously less romantic and sweet, if he interrupted the plan.
Her heels tapped out the fast beat of her heart on the sidewalk below her, as the apartment block loomed into sight. Her breath was becoming hard and fast, she was panicking again, something she'd done repeatedly over the last few days. Taking a deep breath she went through the main door, which a young brown haired man had held open for her, despite giving her an odd look. Walking towards the elevator, she bent slightly to push the button with her elbow, which called the elevator to the ground floor. A movement she repeated once in the elevator, on the button which was sending her towards her ex-lover's floor.
The raven haired woman had spent the last few months, basically going through the motions, going through her life on auto-pilot. She was living for the moments when she was in Arizona's company. She knew she was falling apart at the seams, and a part of her wished she could see her love was doing the same. One thing Callie loved about Arizona was her smile. When she was truly happy it lit her whole face, and created those cute little dimples that made her knees go weak. However, if Arizona was upset, and she didn't want anyone to know, they wouldn't. No negative emotion would publically grace her face, and never would. Most of the time Callie spent her time glancing at the PEDs surgeon out of the corner of her eye, hoping to catch a glimpse of sadness in the blue eyes. She never did, and it only made her feel worse, and then more so, that she wanted the love her life to feel sadness, when all she ever wanted was her to feel happy. Admittedly she wanted to be the cause of that happiness. She knew that wouldn't ever happen. She could no longer cause her to be happy. She had no right to do so. She lost that right when they went their own separate ways. When Callie had decided to change the game… The dark haired woman wished she could change her desires, and at times she'd fooled herself into thinking she could. That she wanted Arizona more than she wanted children and a part of her was still waiting for the blonde woman to turn up and tell her she'd changed her mind. Likewise however, she knew that time would never come.
Callie was sat nursing a glass of some alcoholic beverage Mark had poured her before he had gone into the shower. Mark had been spending a lot of time over at Callie's place of late. Maybe he was worried what she'd do if left alone for any length of time. A worry he didn't need to have, she would never do anything like that, despite her low moods at times, because of the joy did have when she was around the blonde of her heart. Callie had to fight with herself whenever she was near, fight the urge just to kiss her and never let her go. It was only when Arizona was alone, and didn't think people could see her, when Callie saw the true pain her ex, was in. The look which took hold on her face crushed Callie's heart, knowing it was her fault it was there.
A light knock on her apartment door, aroused Callie from her thoughts. Looking over at the clock it was quite late, not that, that had ever worried any of her friends. Working shifts at the hospital had knocked their internal clocks off kilter, long ago. She could hear Mark moving around in the bathroom or bedroom she wasn't sure, but she realised it was her who'd have to answer the door. Sighing, she put her glass down on the table a little harder than was needed, and went to open the door.
As the door opened, Callie's breath caught in her throat, as her eyes came to rest on the blonde beauty standing on the other side. "Oh, hi" came Callie's strangled response. Arizona was not the person she'd been expecting when opening the door. She was standing with big bits of card in one hand, and a CD player in the other, looking slightly scared.
Mark's voice sounded through the apartment, "Who is it?" The blond in front of her, place one of her fingers on her lips, indicating Callie to be quiet. Spinning around the cards, Callie could clearly see the message which was written in Arizona's own hand. The card read, "Say its carol singers". Callie knew her forehead had creased in a frown, had gave Arizona a reproachful look, before answering over her shoulder, "its carol singers". Both women heard the man's response from the bathroom, about given them money, and less than politely tell them to go away. Both Callie and Arizona smiled, slightly embarrassed, before Callie looked confused again. The blonde woman bent down placing the CD player on the ground, and pressed play, and a sweet version of silent night filled the air. Arizona took a slight breath, under Callie's look, before smiling, and changing the large board Callie could see. This one read, "With any luck, by next year", Arizona paused long enough that the raven haired woman could read the sign, before changing it once again. "I'll be going out with one of these girls…" Callie felt her throat contract. Was this what she'd come for, to tell her…no show her, she was moving on? Obviously seeing the look on her face, Arizona moved on, without saying a word. The next card had multiple pictures of models on, Callie let a trailed out laugh fall from her lips, and received a small smile in return. Callie nodded for her to continue. Arizona moved the cards she'd already shown, to the floor, showing the next to read, "But for now let me say," moving that one to ground with its fellows. Displaying the next, "Without hope or agenda," Arizona looked Callie dead in the eye. Callie was fighting the urge to drown in those blue pools before her. That card was discarded too. "Just because it's Christmas", Arizona was refusing to break eye contact with the woman before her, drawing her in. Another card was discarded on the ground, displaying the next, "(and at Christmas you tell the truth)" was shown next. Callie could feel her heart slamming against her rib cage, willing the "show" to continue. Arizona this time looked down, at the card she was displaying, "To me, you are perfect". The Latina felt her mouth go dry, and felt faint. This was the most they'd really spoken to each other, since that day…well this wasn't so much talking, but she wouldn't break the spell. Arizona's eyes rose to meet Callie's and she could see the unshed tears dancing in the blue eyes she loved so much. Arizona stayed longer on this card, as if seeing if it would make Callie believe it more. That or she was just as lost in their moment, as she was. The blonde gulped slightly, and moved one hand, dragging the latest card down to rest on the top of the discarded pile at her feet. "And my wasted heart will love you", It was Callie's turn to gulp, her throat dry, it seemed all the moisture in her body was residing in her eyes, daring herself to cry them away. And that card was got rid of in the same manner as those previous, to show, "Until you look like this…" Callie's brow creased in confusion, and the card was removed, showing a picture of an ancient mummy. Callie couldn't help but laugh, and got a smile back, which was soon replaced a relaxed smile, as that card was dropped. "Merry Christmas", the last card read. Callie knew that tears were burning their way down her face, as she mouthed, "Merry Christmas", back. The blonde gave a sad smile, before bending down, and picking up her discarded cards, and CD player, and turned to walk away.
Callie felt a silent sob rake through her body, as the woman she loved, walked away from her yet again. It took her several seconds to realise, that Arizona was nearly at the elevator, before she made her move. Running the small distance between them barefooted, she grabbed Arizona's arm turning her around. She just stood looking at her, drinking her in, before raising her hands to both sides of her blonde's face, pulling her in for a kiss. Arizona instantly melted into her lips, melding her lips, her body into that of her own. Callie felt rather than heard a moan vibrate in the blonde's chest, as she pulled away. Her hands grazed down to the collar of her jacket, giving her a gentle tug towards her with a smile she hadn't felt in such a long time. One she saw mirrored in the smaller woman. Callie sighed contently, before placing another gentler kiss on the blonde's lips, and then turned away and walked briskly back into her apartment.
Arizona watched as the woman jogged the very small distance down the hall, her raven hair flying behind her. The smile which she saw as Callie closed the door was enough to tell her, she'd done the right thing tonight. Arizona smiled, and realised what she must do next. "Enough. Enough now", were her last words to the now empty corridor, before away from Callie's door for what she knew wasn't the last time.