|The Punchline Is Nerdery
Author: Dliessmgg PM
Claire Stanfield punches many people. Gendo has plans for him.Rated: Fiction K - English - Suspense/Parody - Gendo I. & Claire S. - Words: 584 - Updated: 11-03-10 - Published: 11-01-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6445614
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Claire Stanfield stood on a rail. It was in a park; he was surrounded by delinquents. "Do you guys think you have a chance? You really think you have a chance against God? The world doesn't revolve around you, it revolves around me. I'm the center of the world, of the universe! I'm the galaxy of all galaxies, I'm the all and the nothing, I am what happens. Do you really think you can even touch me? Do you really think you can defend Gendo against me?" And then they tried.
"Sir, we have a problem! We can't control the test subject!"
"Don't worry, don't worry. He will be nice."
"How do you plan to achieve that? He's clearly too strong for our soldiers!"
"There are plans that need certain conditions. There are plans that work under all conditions. There are plans that work for impossible conditions. You need one of the third kind for him. I have that."
Claire entered the lair. The circular entry hall was huge. There were double helix stairs in the middle, constantly coming closer together until they met at the top. A fountain was below. The walls were filled with portraits of dead people. Their eyes seemed to move all the time. There were four doors: the one Claire just came in through with the others splitting the wall evenly. Then a robot came falling from the ceiling. It pulled a knife out of nowhere. Claire evaded the attacks. He run up the stairs and the robot followed him. When they arrived at the top, there was a fight and robot parts fell down.
"Sir, he's too strong for us!"
"He is not. He may take down our soldiers, he may destroy our robot, but he's not too strong. He's as strong as I predicted. He will move closer and the challenges will get harder. This is all a training for him. Don't worry, he bow before me."
"But how can you be so confident in your plan, master?"
"I am because it's him. The plan would fail with everybody else."
Claire arrived in the zero gravity labyrinth. The paths were winding in all three dimensions, splitting and rejoining almost randomly. You could see the exit from some places, but the passages are too small to get through. Some of the walls were electrified. In addition to all that, some pipes changed their connections from time to time. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, from point A to point B. "That was too easy" Claire said as he entered the next room. A bunch of superpowered minions appeared.
"Sir, will they be strong enough to stop him?"
"No, I don't expect them to. It would be rather bad if that happened. Mr. Stanfield must survive. He will survive. He is the only one strong enough to stop all the monsters in the universe. You know it as much as I do."
The minions were no match for Claire. They were more than knocked out. There was room after room, filled with minions and monsters. He plowed through them without a scratch. He arrived in a long hallway filled with traps. A pitfall. Spiked walls. Hidden chainsaws. Stompers. Nothing was left out. Then he finally reached the door at the end. He entered the room and transformed into an angry Kagami. "Konata! Patty! Stop that cosplay immediately! You're disturbing the neighbors again!"