|The Lion's Tears
Author: Redrum PM
COMPLETE: Zell finds out about Squall's problem and he trys to help him. But what if Squall doesn't want help? Slight, ShounenaiRated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Romance - Squall L. & Zell D. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,710 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 07-23-02 - Published: 03-08-02 - Status: Complete - id: 645117
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter 5: An Onslaught of Emotions
Eyes closed in concentration, Lionheart held at the ready, chest heaving as the brunet fought to breathe, pools of sweat trailing down his face. Leather pants clinging in all the right places, bomber jacket carefully folded and placed on a nearby rock.
No words could come to mind that would describe the warrior's grace, control, precision, talent, and beauty.
As the boy looked on in wonder, the fighter had started a new series of parries and blocks. The brunet looked as though he were fighting a series of enemies, or maybe it was the boy's own demons come to haunt him again.
The blonde made his way over to the valiant fighter. Being swift on his feet, the brunet didn't hear him until a rock had been moved. Turning around swiftly, the gunblade made a smooth arc to decapitate the monster that had snuck up on him. The blonde saw this coming just in time as he ducked, seeing wisps of golden hair fall into his vision.
"Zell!" when Squall had finally opened his eyes, he saw the blonde kneeling before him, narrowly missing the deadly blow of his blade. The brunet sheathed his precious Lionheart, crossing his arms as he looked at Zell with a glint of impatience in his eyes for being disturbed.
"Jeez, nearly cut my head off why don't'ca?" the martial artist sprang from his previous kneeling position with astounding grace. Sheepishly scratching the back of his head as he saw the look Squall was giving him.
"What is it?" Squall smirked in amusement as he watched the boy fidget underneath his icy glare. 'Can't I ever get some peace around here to train?'
Zell relaxed again, seeing how the brunet was just joking. As he fidgeted again, his electric blue eyes swept over Squall's muscular body. Sweat was glistening over the boy's arms, making his biceps well-defined. A small bead of sweat trailed down the boys tense chest.
"Zell?" what's wrong with him? Why is he so fidgety? 'I'm not that bad am I?'
The blond's eyes snapped back up to meet cloudy blue. "I wanted to talk to you about something..." His voice trailing off, waiting for the brunet's response.
'What now?' Squall thought impatiently, unfolding his arms he walked over to the large rock that was a short distance away, picking up his precious jacket and started out of the Training Centre.
"You coming or not?" he called over his shoulder, hearing Zell's footsteps as he jogged to catch up to him. They walked the rest of the way to Squall's dorm room in silence.
Reaching his room, he activated the lock with voice command. "Squall Leonhart, student number 2639."
"Access granted." The door swished open, activated by the monotone voice. Squall walked in, placing his jacket in the closet, he turned around and found Zell still standing by the closed door.
"You wanted to talk?" Zell looked at his surroundings, taking in the plain walls with no posters or other pictures lining his own room. Squall's room held barely anything, except for a bed, gunblade case, desk and dresser, and the bathroom door to his right. He snapped back to attention as he heard his friend speak.
"Oh, yeah..." The blonde walked over to the cherry wood desk, sitting in the well used chair.
"Well, do you think it could wait ten minutes? I really need a shower."
Zell nodded again, watching Squall head into the bathroom shutting the door behind him. As he heard the shower running, he got up and curiously walked around the room. This guy has like, no personal possessions. The only things that looked to be personal in the room were the gunblade case, with an expertly crafted silver lion's head that was molded into the black gunblade case, that was now holding the infamous Lionheart. The other thing being the assortment of books lining the dresser's top. It looked like he was ready to pack up and leave at any moment.
He looked up in surprise as he heard the bathroom door open and out stepped the most beautiful sight that had yet to be seen till this very moment.
Squall's hair was more out of control then usual, droplets still clinging helplessly to the ends of the chestnut locks, water trailing down the boy's chest. He watched one in particular that started down the side of of the brunet's porcelain face, trailing down the maze that was Squall's chest.
Muscle stood out as the water pooled up in all the right places, making it appear as though the boy had more then he really did. Old battle wounds stood out on the pale skin that had yet to stay golden for more then a day's time. The water was being caught by the fluffy blue towel that was tied loosely on the boy's narrow hips. Zell's eyes widened as he saw the many scars that flowed up and down Squall's arms. One in particular stood out among the others because it looked to be fairly fresh, and hadn't even begun to scab over.
Zell crossed the room quickly, roughly taking Squall's muscular arm in his hands. "This is new isn't it?" he asked, his voice barely restrained as he pointed to the particular fresh cut.
"No." The brunet put his head down in shame, staring at the floor intently.
"Don't lie to me Squall. I know it is. I thought you promised to stop all of this? Was that just a lie too? Don't you see I want to help you?" Zell dropped the arm roughly and placed his hands on Squall's face, forcing him to look into the his eyes.
"I can't stop this, Zell. No one can help me. Not even you." Cloudy eyes starting to glisten, as unshed tears collected in them.
"Is it because I can't help you, or is it because you don't want to help yourself? No one can help you unless you want to save yourself. So it comes down to two things. Do you want to get better? Or do you just want to carry on living like this?"
Squall stayed silent as his friend searched his face. Tears were now being shed freely as the brunet looked down again. Closing himself off from the blonde, from the world. Zell's heart broke as he felt a wall begin to build itself between him and Squall. He stared sadly at his friend, his own tears threatening to shed, but he promised himself silently that there would be enough time to weep once he was alone.
"Is this how it's going to be? I still want to help you Squall, but if you don't say anything then I'm going to walk out that door and I might never come back. No one else is going to be this patient or caring with your emotions ever again. Is this really what you want? Please, Squall, answer me!" Zell was now shaking the brunet roughly by the shoulders. He stopped suddenly, as though just realizing what he had been doing.
Zell searched Squall's face again, trying to see anything that would make him stay. But a veil had folded around the boy, no emotions showing but the brunet's silent tears. Zell sighed as he let Squall go and slowly walked toward the door. His shoulders slumped in defeat and heartache. He placed his hand on the brass knob, turning it slowly with what little strength he had left, he started to leave the room, but as an afterthought, turned to look at the brunet, thinking that it might be the last time he got to see his friend. Squall was still in the same spot he had left him in, unheard sobs shaking his body. But the boy still refused to to look at him.
Zell turned around quickly, shutting the door, as his own tears were shed. He shuffled quietly to his room, leaving behind happy memories, forgotten childhood dreams and a soon to be forgotten friend. Or was it forgotten lover?
A whole new explosion of emotions consumed him again, threatening to make him collapse on the spot. He rushed the rest of the way to his dorm room, barely able to voice his command for the lock. He threw himself onto the bed, uncontrollable sobs going through his body. His pillow was damp in no time as a series of never ending tears streamed down his grief and pain stricken face. He felt like he would never stop crying as he grabbed the photo that was resting on his night stand. He looked at it for a long time, tears blurring his vision so much he could barely make out the two figures that were standing there.
The brunet held the blonde in his arms, the excuse from the blonde being a sprained ankle. The smaller boy being held was laughing merrily as he stared into his friend's face. The brunet was scowling fiercely, but a light of happiness was resting in his grey-blue eyes.
They both looked so happy in the picture that Zell broke into sobs again. Would he ever be this happy again? Would Squall ever open up again to the blonde? Only time would tell.