|Never Saw It Coming
Author: TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba PM
Gambit goes on what was supposed to be an ordinary heist. Well, he gets a lot more than he bargained for this time around. Honestly, who woulda thought that things could go this far south so fast?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Gambit/Remy L. - Words: 3,329 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Published: 11-06-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6457381
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Dedicated to and written for sharky237. Kazoo says you better appreciate this. And no, that wasn't a threat.
Stark Industries boasted some of the most technological advances on the planet. Over half of it was designed or refined by the CEO, Tony Stark. The security measures set up throughout the building and even his own home were created by him, a fact that he was proud of and only added to his enormous ego.
Gambit was going to help take that down a bit. The Thieves Guild had been contacted by a Mr. White, one of the most unoriginal names so far, who was interested in some plans of Mr. Stark's that he was unwilling to sell. After hearing the price offered and haggled to something higher, Jean Luc was all too willing to offer the services of his best thief.
Gambit had gone over the layout and security measures of the company and the Malibu house for over a month and still couldn't be sure which place housed the plans. So he guessed. Stark was at his home more than the office. It'd be reasonable for them to be somewhere he could reach them when he wanted to tweak something or other.
He'd set up camp in what was apparently someone's summer beach house for the duration of his stay. Coincidentally, it was the closest house to Stark's property though still quite a ways off from it. There were security measures but hardly any that concerned Gambit until he actually got to the mansion situated on, or in, a cliff face. Motion sensors, cameras, heat sensors, and that artificial intelligence robot he'd heard so much about. There were few trees for cover, but they were unnecessary as the plan called for night operations when no one was home. A night like tonight, actually, when Stark was gone for a night on the town with that pretty, little wife of his.
Despite only stars to light up the night sky, Gambit had easily been able to spot the security measures placed here and there, disarming them or by-passing them all together. Before he got a little too carried away breaking these little toys and set off the smart computer, he detonated the EMP with a charge of kinetic energy to the trigger. He cast a look over his shoulder as the whirring of the machine picked up and looked back just in time to see all the lights in the mansion cut off. A moment later, they came back on in a muted red color.
"Theron, you're a genius," he muttered.
With a smirk and a swagger, Gambit walked right up to the front door. Next to it was a long curved window. He crouched down, taking a quick measure. He gave a tug on the fingerless gloves and traced a large rectangle, trailing kinetic energy from his finger tips. No sooner did his fingers leave the area than the thick glass popped and shattered, leaving a perfect opening for Gambit to step through.
"Excuse me, but you are not supposed to be here. You should know that the police have been called," a computer, synthesized voice spoke through the speaker system throughout the house.
"Uh-huh. Ya jus' gone have to excuse moi 'cause I got business 'ere. I do believe that you can help with it."
"You have no business here that I can help you with."
"You're called J.A.R.V.I.S, oui? I get dat you're a computer but really, de man could 'ave made you more accomadting," Gambit said as he walked down one of the halls, peering intently at the paneling. "Fortunately, I got somethin' t' fix dat."
Gambit stepped up to a panel on the wall. It had a screen in it that showed the layout of the house and was blinking red in time with the house lights. He pulled a small tool out of one of his many pockets and pried it open.
"What are you doing?" the voice spoke again. It might have been his imagination but he was sure that it sounded worried.
He set the panel aside and drew another device out. He got a hold of some of the wires and thought for a minute.
"Blue or yellow, blue or yellow? Oh, green."
He stripped the covering off, wrapped the wire together with his little gadget, and gave it a little charge. The effect was almost instaneous.
"Oh my. What is that?"
"Jus' a lil' somethin' mon cousin came up. You're creator ain't the only one wit' brain. Now about them cops, call them off and tell me where I can find the plans for this Iron Man project. And turn on some normal lights too."
The A.I obediently did as it was told, turned on proper lights, and directed Gambit downstairs to Tony's workshop. He didn't even have to put in a code and merely opened the door, careful not to let his uncovered fingers touch the handle. He looked around and gave a low whistle at all the equipment and the cars.
"Corvette. Lamborghini. Is that the new Audi?"
"Yes, it is."
"This guy is so lucky I ain't authorized to go crazy on him," he sighed deeply, truly regretting that he promised his father not to get carried away.
He turned away from the cars and walked up to the suits. There were three of them. One was the original suit, red and gold. Another one was a brighter, shinier model. He'd heard that he could fit it in a suitcase. The last one was just plain grey metal. All had one main theme going on with them.
"Where is the core, J.A.R.V.I.S?"
"Here, sir," a digital arrow appeared over a space at a desk console.
Gambit walked up to it and removed the arc reactor out of its case.
"And the plans?" he asked as he put the battery source in one of his pockets while lazily leaning on the console.
Across the room, the top drawer of a metal cabinet opened. He pushed himself and went to it. He made a quick check of the prints, rolled them up, and stowed them away in the tube.
"Well, that wasy easy."
"FREEZE!" a deep voice yelled behind him and he nearly jumped a foot. "Hands up, slowly, and turn around."
Gambit did as he was told, rolling his eyes. His red and black gaze swept over the men in front of him.
"Y'all are late."
The tallest one, a red headed man in cop uniform, smirked at him.
"Ah, but we in time for the fun part. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent," he told him as he walked over to Gambit and proceeded make a show of handcuffing him, searching him, and reading him his rights. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right of an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you."
"You had to say the whole thing? Really?" the other, a bald man, asked.
"Yeah, really. Now start walking, you thieving punk," he said, giving Gambit a rough push.
He faltered slightly but allowed himself to be led.
"You enjoyin' this way too much."
The red head smiled brightly.
"I know! Ain't it great?"
"What in the world?"
Blue lights flashed lit up the Stark landscape. There was a cop car and a police issued Hummer sitting in the drive way. A role of police tape was roped around the front area twenty feet away from the house.
"Stay in the car," he told Pepper.
"No, you stay in the car."
"What, while you get out?"
"No, we're both staying."
"Pep, Iron Man doesn't hide in his car, especially when something is going on with his house," he said, getting out of the sleek sports car with Pepper following after.
"Why didn't J.A.R.V.I.S alert you?"
He frowned and pulled out his phone to check. It didn't show that his A.I had made any attempt to contact him.
"I don't know. I'll run a diagnostic check later."
As they were walking towards the door, two police officers came out of the house. One was young, in his early twenties, with a baby face and wavy red hair. His blue eyes flicked over Pepper with interest, and Tony didn't miss or appreciate the look.
"What's going on?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but I need you to move along," the other cop said. He was a few years older and taller than the red head. He had brown eyes, a bald head, and a neatly trimmed black beard. A gold earring winked in his left ear.
For some reason, Tony thought pirate. He also had a nagging feeling in his gut but couldn't place the why.
"We live here," Tony asserted.
"What happened to the wall?" Pepper questioned, having just notice the perfect rectangle in the glass.
"I'm Officer Wallace. Can you show proof that you live here?" he asked.
Tony pulled out his wallet and gave it to him. Officer Wallace glanced at it, him, then back at the wallet before turning it over.
"Mr. Stark, it would seem your home was broken into. We found the suspect inside and got him in that car over there," he said pointing to the squad cars.
"They better not have taken my shoes," Pepper muttered under her breath.
Tony shot her a look that said he loved her but she was so weird. Unknowingly, he was giving her the same look that she usually gave him.
"How is he only a suspect if you caught him inside?" he wondered aloud.
"As it is," the red head, whose I.D. said 'Gall', said as if Tony hadn't said anything, "sir, we need you stay out of the area until the forensics guys can get done inside."
"How many are there?" Pepper asked.
"Believe it or not, ma'am, we're short-handed now. Had a lot of layoffs because of the economy so only two guys are workin' this scene right now. But they've been in there a while already and should be done any minute now."
As if on cue, the forensic officers came out. One of them had brunette hair and green eyes, and a forensic case, just like on CSI: Miami. The second one was taller than the first with a head full of blond hair and dark green eyes. They nodded to the others as they headed to the Hummer.
"Do you know of anyone who would want to rob you, sir?" the red head asked.
"Oh, I don't know, everyone," Tony rolled his eyes. "Pep, be a doll and give the man the list please. Hold up!" Tony called out.
The trio stopped and waited for him as he walked up while Pepper continued to talk with the first two.
"Sir?" the blond, whose I.D said 'Lowry' asked.
"Let me see this guy," he ordered.
"Of course. If you can recognize him, that'd be helpful with our investigation."
"I'm gonna go ahead and stow this," the brunette said, walking off to the Hummer.
Tony followed Lowry to the squad car and looked inside. The guy was young and had his feet on the back seat with his back to the window, giving a good view of his auburn hair but little else. Lowry tapped on the window, and he turned around. Black eyes glared at the both of them. His face was made up of hard planes and angles and Tony studied him quickly before he straightened up from where he'd been leaning on the car.
"Never seen the kid a day in my life. What did he get?"
"That thing for your suit. Whadd'ya call it?"
"Right, that. Yeah, he got that and was making his way out when those boys showed up. I assume you're pressing charges."
"Well, the lawyers haven't gotten a good work out in a while. And Pepper will fuss if I just let this go so sure, why not?"
"All right, well, you'll need to come down to the station and make it official. Have a goodnight, sir," Lowry nodded to him, walked to the Hummer, and drove off.
After a short talk with the first two police officers, two more pulled up. Wallace and Gall eased their way over to one of the newer one as they explained the situation before they rode off with the suspect. One of them, who claimed he was the head detective, came up to them with a sort of confused look on his face as he talked to Pepper and Tony. He told them not to worry and that all this would be cleared up soon.
"You don't seem too sure about that," Pepper said.
"No, ma'am, it's not that," the detective ran a hand through black hair. "It's just...I never met a Wallace or Gall before and I got transferred to this precinct three years ago."
Tony's eyes widened as a thought occurred to him.
"I've gotten stopped by every cop in your precinct. I've never even heard of any of those four guys."
"Meaning what?" Pepper asked.
"Meaning we just seriously got played."
"What are you saying, Mr. Stark?" the detective asked.
"I'm not pressing charges, for one thing."
Hours later, Tony was down in his lab, trying to set things to rights. Pepper found him watching the security videos again.
"How many times are you going to watch that?"
"Until I stop being impressed with it."
She looked at him incredulous for a moment.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah! It was perfect, Pep. I mean think about it for a minute," he put his arm around her shoulders. "Just take it all in."
Pepper sighed as she went over it in her head again. Yes, she had to admit their boldness and performance had been pretty good. They even performed well for the security cameras. Somehow or another, they'd managed to avoid having their picture being directly taken and it had been too dark to get a very clear view of them.
"All right, it's impressive. Is that why you're not going to follow through with this?"
"That and the fact that he plans he took don't have every component they need to make another Iron Man suit. I mean, it was stylish. Kinda like how I would have done it if I were a thief."
"What? You don't think I could be a thief? I'll have you know, Mrs. Stark, that you are married to an accomplished pick pocket."
"Mm-hmm. Me and Rhodey went to Disney once and we snagged a grand total of one-thousand, two hundred eight dollars, four cents, and a pack of gum. Winterfresh."
"It's past three in the morning. Come to bed."
Tony glanced down at his wife, just noticing that she was wearing her nightwear. He stared at her for a few moments before declaring,
"And I'm okay with that. 'Night, J.A.R.V.I.S."
"Bon nuit, y'all."
"Why did J.A.R.V.I.S just speak French?" Pepper asked, slightly startled.
"I have no idea, but he's getting an overhaul tomorrow."
Gambit was extremely pleased with himself. His plan for the heist had been elaborate but necessary. His brother and cousins had been all too willing to help out. Especially Etienne. That boy found just way too hilarious that he got to arrest him. Emil had wanted to be the one to do it, and Lapin came up with the ida of having play rock, paper, scissors for it, and Henri ended up just picking Etienne to get them to stop after 'best eighteen out of twenty'.
He walked into the warehouse where he was supposed to drop off the merchandise and receive the rest of his payment with that high that only came from a successful heist. His senses became hyper-aware as he walked through the aisles of boxes to an area in the center. Every sound seemed amplified, though in here, there wasn't much to hear.
He glanced around in the dark, able to see completely due to his mutation. In the center of the room were two chairs and a table. An older man with a patch over his left eye sat in one facing him. A briefcase was on the floor next to him.
"Monsieur Blanc," he addressed him.
"Gambit," Blanc nodded back. "Have a seat."
He did, pulling the tube with the plans over his head and laying it on the table, but keeping his hand and a small charge on it.
"You have both the items?"
"Of course," he said, pulling the ark reactor out of his coat.
"Good. And I have your money."
Gambit smirked at that. That meant the deal was almost over and he could get away from this freaky guy and back home. He had the most powerful craving for Tante's gumbo.
"Just one problem."
His smile faltered a bit. What problem?
"And that would be?"
Blanc snapped his fingers and the lights came on, revealing at least two dozen men with rifles all pointed at him. He glanced down at himself and saw that he was covered with little red dots that could quickly turn into little holes.
Gambit glared at the man across from him. To his credit, he did not flinch as demon-like eyes tried to set him on fire.
"Who are you, and what do you want?" he asked in a dangerous tone and had to restrain himself from throwing the now charged pink arc reactor at his smug face.
"I'm Colonel Fury," he said, leaning back in his chair and getting comfortable. "And I want to give you the opportunity to serve your country."
Gambit scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Or I can make sure you spend at least twenty years behind bars in Russia. Your choice."
Gambit, with great effort, uncharged the table and the other items and crossed his arms.
"I'm listening," he said through gritted teeth.
"Ever hear of S.H.I.E.L.D?"
A/N: Done! Finally! No more requests for you people.
Does anyone recognize any of this? Like near the end? It's from a movie.
So I gave sharky her choice of whatever kinda oneshot she wanted and we came up with this and I think it's great that she picked it cuz it all ties back to SGIH and I'm not taking requests anymore cuz there kinda a pain but still fun but time consuming and yes I really talk in long unending sentences like this without breathing. And I should stop.
I've never been arrested or witnessed it in real life, but I'm pretty sure that was the whole thing of the Miranda rights. I could be wrong and they just don't show the whole thing on Law and Order. But I don't think so. Why don't I know useful information?
This didn't go into crossover section cuz I didn't want it to. Who saw Iron Man 2? Who was disappointed with the villain and hoping that Deadpool pops up for no reason next time?
In other news, Lord Shade is now Tio Shady as of 11/06/10 sometime in the dark hours! May he grow to annoy the heck out of you!