Chapter 5

As the transport approached the TDN Miranda's flight deck, Kirk could see that the other transports were already there. A large number of crewmen were flocking to greet and congratulate Garrus's team.

As Sam began landing procedures, Kirk walked back to where the cargo area. Medics were able to save most of the injured marines on the way back, but five died from their wounds.

Another five families to tell, and another five families to bring suffering upon, thought Shepard. Shit.

The doors opened to the transport. A cheer rose up from the crowd, but quickly died down when the crowd saw how few marines had returned alive. Shepard stepped out and looked over the crowd that had gathered. Many had a shocked look on their faces, some were crying. He ordered a few crewmembers nearby to help remove the bodies.

Shepard and the survivors began walking away from the transport. The crowd silently parted to make way for them.

A wave of exhaustion overcame Shepard, and he stumbled a bit from the immense pressure that he suddenly felt. A few crewmembers helped him get to his feet.

Jax came beside Shepard and put his arm around him.

"Come on, Admiral. You need rest."

Exhausted, Shepard nodded, and let Jax take him back to his cabin.

Shepard woke with Garrus and the ship's chief doctor, Doctor Coolick, standing by the side of the bed.

"Shepard, are you ok? You slept for almost thirty hours!" Garrus exclaimed.

"Let him rest," Doctor Coolick said. "He clearly had a rough time with this operation, and judging by the type of mission he led, I don't blame him for feeling physically and mentally exhausted."

"I'll let him rest Doc, of course, but he needs to know that the Alliance High Command will want to debrief us sooner rather than later."

Kirk sat up.

"No, its ok Doc, I'm fine. I just want some time alone before I head to that debriefing."

"Ok, see you later, Shepard."

Garrus and the Doctor left.

Kirk had to talk to Miranda.

He opened the vid function on his omni-tool.

"Kirk!"

"Miranda! You cannot tell how happy I am to see your beautiful face again!"

"Tell me about it, Kirk. I called you when the report came in of the victory, but you didn't answer. I was so worried! Then I called Garrus and he said that you were just resting."

"Glad to hear that you had some initiative. I didn't know you had it in you."

Miranda smiled.

"Very funny, Kirk. So, tell me, how did the mission go?"

Oh lord, how do I tell something like this to Miri?

Kirk took a deep breath.

"Not well Miri, not well at all."

Miranda frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Kirk proceeded to tell Miri about the mission. He told her about Private Teller. The second transport. The ghosts he saw. The marine who threw away his life because Kirk had yelled at him. The dozen marines he had practically condemned to death.

Kirk finished recounting the disaster of a mission that he had led. There were tears in his eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Miranda spoke up.

"Kirk, you have to understand that their deaths were not your fault. It's combat, you know that. It's unpredictable by nature. You do not need to feel bad about what had happened. Private Teller's death was not your fault in any way. The second transport was hit by a flak burst— you had no control over that. And you shouldn't worry so much about that marine who you yelled at. You had to get that marine on his feet, and I don't blame you for being harsh. Think of what would have happened if you let him be. He would have stayed behind, possibly even captured. Now how would have that have looked, a marine being captured because he couldn't handle combat and had to stay behind? Rather, he gave his life trying to prove that he was a good marine! It will do his family proud when they hear from you that he gave his life throwing a grenade at Advent troops. You can leave out the part where the grenade exploded harmlessly. I am sure that his family would rather hear that he was a hero than hear that he was cowering in a corner when he died."

"What about those twelve marines? I sent them to the door while the room was still hot. Had I waited then maybe they would have survived!"

"Dear, time was running out. You said so yourself. You needed those doors open. Their deaths are a tragedy, but they are casualties of war. You cannot keep thinking that you can always get away with zero casualties. There will always be casualties. They are unavoidable."

"But Garrus…"

"Garrus? His team got lucky."

"What do you mean?" Kirk asked.

"You didn't read the post-battle report on the number of Advent troops on the Luminescent and Direnus?"

"No, I've been sleeping this whole time. What did it say?"

"The average Revelation-class ship has around 3,300 Advent on it. For this battle, the Luminescent had sent a large portion of their troops to the Direnus and left only a small contingent on the ship for defense. The Advent plan, according to intel picked up from Advent communications after the battle, was to use the Direnus as a sort of battering ram to bash through Alliance lines, and then use the ship as a forward operating base for their troops to board our flagship, which would have been your ship. That is why the Luminescent had only 2,100 Advent personnel while the Direnus had close to 4,500."

Shepard sighed.

"No wonder we were up against such stiff resistance. Thank you for telling me this."

"Now dear, are you surprised why Garrus and his team had so few casualties?"

"I suppose that makes sense." Shepard replied.

"I'm glad you see my reasoning, and I hope this puts your fears to rest. I love you, Kirk, and I hate seeing my husband suffer like this."

Kirk smiled.

"I love you too Miri. You complete me, did you know that?"

"Only since you first told me that you loved me." Miri batted her eyelashes.

Kirk laughed. He felt much better about everything, including what happened on the mission.

"So, Miri, how are you? I know it seems like we just talked but wow, it's been over a day since we talked! We haven't gone that long without talking since…"

"It's been too long to remember!" Miranda laughed. "I'm fine here at home; Liara helped me get the intel about the battle— she knew that you would want to see it. She even came over today after work to play with the kids! She also tells me that she met a man who she likes, so who knows? Maybe Liara will be a mother at some point in the future! Also, did you hear the news?"

"What news? Remember, I've been sleeping for the past thirty-something hours."

"Jacob and Kasumi are getting married! Jacob proposed to her today."

"Really? I didn't know they were dating. But I did know that Kasumi had a crush on Jacob for quite some time."

"Anyhow, we're invited to their wedding. Kasumi told me that they would wait until you got back to have the wedding, just so you would be there. Speaking of which, when are you coming home? I would assume that after the battle they would give you some time off."

"Hopefully I will be home soon. How are the kids?"

"They are fine, and when Jason heard that his father helped win a major victory over the Advent he couldn't help but brag to all his friends. On a side note, I got another call from the teacher."

"I bet that teacher is just jealous. When I come home I'll be sure to pay his class a visit."

"That would be great, honey! I am sure that Jason would love that!"

"Ok Miri, I'd better head to that debriefing soon. Talk to you later?"

"Of course!"

Miranda had a seductive look on her face.

"And maybe if you call after the kids are asleep then we can 'maintain our marriage,' if you know what I mean."

Kirk smiled.

"Then I'll be sure to call after you put them to bed."

"Looking forward to it. Good luck with the briefing."

"Thanks Miri. Love you!"

Miranda blew a kiss and the vid session ended.

Kirk got up from his bed, showered, donned his uniform, and headed to the debriefing.

Miri understood my actions, Kirk thought to himself. But will the High Command do the same?