|Henchmen Will Believe Anything
Author: ElizabethTheWierd PM
Dr. Girlfriend's niece comes to live with her aunt and uncle while her mother is in prison. What could possibly go wrong?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Friendship - Twenty-one - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,741 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 03-20-11 - Published: 11-14-10 - id: 6477491
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Holy Jeezus! How muck frickin' dirt is seeped into this carpet?" Sharon moaned.
"Well, the last time we used this room was when we were holding that one prisoner several years ago." 24 stated, trying to fix one of the light fixtures embedded in the ceiling.
"Oh yeah! Dude, he was so annoying! All he did was complain!" Gary confirmed. At the moment, he was trying to repair the hinges on the door so it wouldn't topple over every other time somebody opened it.
"I know, right? He was always like I haven't had water in twelve days or My stab wounds are infected!"
Sharon rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. "Uh-huh. Sounds like a real whiner."
They continued cleaning through the afternoon. Around 7:20 pm the moppets walked through the door.
"Oh, Hey Kevin. Hey Tim-Tom. You need something?" Sharon dropped the brush she'd been using to clean the carpet in to a bucket of soap water; turning her attention to the two moppets.
Gary and 21 looked at each other and gulped nervously. Their new friend seemed to share her aunt's naïveté regarding the Murderous Moppets.
"Your aunt sent us down to check on you." Tim-Tom answered.
"Make sure these two aren't giving you any trouble." Kevin glared at the two henchmen.
"We're fine. Tell Aunt Sheila she doesn't need to worry so much."
The moppets snorted.
"Yeah, good luck with that." Tim-Tom mumbled.
"We'll see you later then, Shar." Kevin said. The two moppets left, waving goodbye to Sharon.
"Seeya." Sharon called after them, returning to her cleaning.
Gary and 24 stared at each other, then at Sharon. Sharon felt as if holes were being bored into the back of her skull. She turned around to see Gary and 21 staring at her incredulously.
"What?" She cocked an eyebrow at the two.
"Well, uh, this may surprise you, but…." Gary started "the Murderous Moppets are totally insane! They terrorize the henchmen foe fun, and tell Dr. Girlfriend they're the ones being victimized!"
Sharon blinked a few times. "Yeah, so?"
"Wait, you already know?"
"Well, I'm not surprised, to say the least. They're the ones who taught me how to wield a knife when I was, like, nine. Not to mention like three years ago when Aunt Sheila came to visit they taught my dogs to attack and kill on command."
"You have dogs?" 24 leaned forward, completely disregarding said dogs' ability to attack and kill on command.
"Yeah. Two. Their names are Ginny and Paprika."
"What breeds are they?"
"Ginny is a Spinone Italiano. Paprika is a Lagotto Romagnolo." Sharon removed the rubber gloves she had been wearing. She tossed the brush back into the bucket of soapy water.
"Dude, since when are you so into dogs?" Gary asked 24.
"What's wrong with dogs?" 24 shot back.
"Nothing. It's just kind of weird."
"Yeah, like you obsession with Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Superhero comics isn't."
"Guys, I'm hungry. Why don't we go get something to eat?" Sharon interrupted the quickly escalating argument.
Gary and 24 promptly dropped their bickering, agreeing that they were hungry as well.
In the Cocoon's cafeteria, Sharon noticed a tall, more muscular man. He wasn't wearing the standard henchman uniform she'd seen Gary, 24, and the other henchmen wearing. She squinted at him, scrutinizing his appearance. His costume retained the Monarch's butterfly emblem, so he was obviously one of his underlings.
"Who's that?" Sharon nodded in the direction of the guy she'd been analyzing.
"Oh, that's the new Number One." Gary stated matter-of-factly.
"Oh, yeah. Wonder when he's gonna die." 24 thought aloud as they moved through the dinner line.
"What?" Sharon looked to 24 in disbelief. "Why would you think that?"
"Well, being a henchman is a very dangerous occupation. There are plenty of deaths on the job. Some from mishandling weapons, faulty parachutes, plenty are even killed by the Monarch himself." Gary explained.
"But all of those combined don't come anywhere near the number of henchmen who've suffered D.B.S." 24 added.
"Death by Samson."
"Brock Samson. He's the bodyguard of the Monarch's archenemy, Dr. Venture. You'll see him tomorrow when the Monarch launches another attack on the Venture Compound."
"I thought Dr. Venture was dead?"
"No, no. You're thinking about Dr. Jonas Venture. This is Dr. Thaddeus Venture, his son."
"Oh. Wait! You never answered my question! Why is that number one guy going to die? I mean, he must be number one for a reason, right? Strong, always prepared, something like that? Besides, you told me earlier neither of you are ever prepared, and you guys have been around awhile, haven't you?"
"Yes, but you see, we don't die. We always luck out."
"Yeah, it's like we're main characters or something."
"We try not to question it."
As soon as they reached the table, aforementioned number one henchman's limbs began convulsing; then fell face-forward in his food. Dead. Gary, Sharon, and 24 quickly shoved their dinners away.
"We totally told you so!" "Ugh. Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore. I think I can wait 'til breakfast." Sharon clutched her stomach.
"I second that." 24 followed.
"Me too." Gary added.
Disposing of their uneaten dinners, they left the cafeteria and four flustered new recruits left to dispose of the fresh corpse.