Double or Nothing

Chapter Four

Shadow

A loud crash sounded from the bathroom, Molly made to rise, looking up worriedly. "I'll get him, Mum, stay there." Bill stood, gesturing for his mother to sit, she did so only reluctantly.

xxxXxxx

George winced, and cradled his right hand close to his stomach trying to pry out the shards of glass that had embedded themselves in his knuckles. Breaking the mirror with his fist was possibly the stupidest thing he had ever done without Fred. He snapped his face towards the locked door as a firm knock sounded from the opposite side.
"George? George, open the door. I'm not trying to get you to talk I promise." Bill's voice sounded, muffled by the wood. George only grunted and turned back to his original task. He yelped and swore in pain as he attempted to draw a particularly large shard stained in crimson blood from between his right ring and middle fingers.
"George, what happened?" Bill sighed in annoyance and pointed his wand at the door which swung inwards a second later revealing his brother. "What the hell did you do?"
George grunted "Broke a mirror."
"With your fist?" the oldest son thwacked George over the head "What do you think you're doing? Being a right git is what!"
George blinked at him silently for a moment and ripped the glass from his trembling hand with a stifled cry of pain.
William bit his lip, and grabbed his brother's wounded hand "You idiot!" He sighed and added in a gentler voice "Why'd you break the mirror, George?" He pried more glass from George's hand and pointed his wand at the blood, muttering a few words under his breath. Seconds later the blood slowed to a trickle and the cuts began to mend themselves, George breathing through his teeth, he shrugged "Dunno…thanks."
"You really hurt Mum back there."
"Damn it, Bill! You said you weren't gonna try to get me to talk!" George snapped, wrenching his hand back.
"I'm not. But you need to stop treating your family like dirt, it's not Mum's fault." He said patiently, being the eldest was an advantage sometimes, he had grown up with six younger siblings, five of them being brothers.
"Do you think I meant what I said? Cause I didn't. Let me go." His blue eyes narrowed as Bill gripped his wrist. "Let. Me. Go, Bill."
"George. This is getting serious. If you're not gonna talk, at least listen to me."
George said nothing and made to leave the room, wincing as his hand knocked the side of the basin. Bill did not let him go. "You need help. You need to let people help you. Do you think you're fooling anyone by putting on a brave face when they're looking?"
The twin growled "Bill…shut it."
He frowned, determined to make the younger man see sense "I won't, not until you see reason and stop treating everyone like bat bogeys…"
"I said. Shut it!" And with that he wrenched his hand from his brother's grip and stormed out of the room, making no effort to close the door in his brother's face quietly.

xxxXxxx

Bill stood in the small bathroom for several minutes; he sighed dejectedly and flicked his wand at the shattered glass which reformed themselves back into a mirror. He cast a glance into the mended item and wiped away the blood before leaning forward and thumping his head on the door intentionally. "George…"

xxxXxxx

Fleur looked up from assisting her mother-in-law set the dishes washing as Bill re -entered the room. He shook his head sadly his brother had still not descended the stairs. He hugged his mother affectionately
"George doesn't mean anything he says." He muttered and kissed his wife on the side of her head.
"What was that crashing?" Fleur asked, concernedly.
"He broke a mirror…"
Molly held a hand to her mouth, she was losing George, she was losing another son and she knew it.
"Mum, you need to keep him busy. He's not coping." Bill said seriously.
"He seemed to be doing better…" she protested "It doesn't seem right to put him to work."
"He's no better than he was the day Fred died. If anything he's worse, he needs to do something to stop him dwelling on it."
"But…"
"Mum! He didn't say anything, but there's no mistaking how deep his depression is beginning to sink. He can't look at himself for fear of seeing Fred. Why do you think he broke the mirror?"
"Bill! Don't talk that way!"
"If he doesn't get help…he'll….I don't know what he'll do but it'll be drastic."
"I don't need help." Bill, Fleur and Molly turned as George entered, his eyes set in determination.
"George. Oh my boy…" his mother rushed over to him, catching sight of the new scars on his right hand. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, 'm fine…" he muttered "Sorry, I didn't mean what I said. But I don't need help, Bill."
His brother's eyes were full of an unexplainable emotion as they looked at each other, silently pleading for George to live again. "I'll be fine, if you all just let me deal with it."
With that he smiled slightly at Fleur and murmured a "Congratulations again." Then turned and left the kitchen.

xxxXxxx

He was walking, toward the makeshift Quidditch pitch and the old broom shed, he didn't even know why, he just had to get away from it all. His family was suffocating him, though they rarely spent time with him anymore, he had distanced himself too far for them to try. Ginny had gone back to Hogwarts so that was one less person to fuss and talk about him behind his back, Percy and Dad weren't home enough to do so but Mum had been overbearing. Bill popped around often too, bearing news of Fleur's stages of pregnancy and he had started to become just like Molly, only less extreme.
He stopped and flopped down onto his back in the centre of the field, glowering darkly at the bright grass as though it was offending him by being such a bright green when his world was only dark.
The voice of Fred in his head hadn't returned since that day in the bathroom and nor had his reflection. George had begun to become hatefully dependant on the memory of Fred and reached out often to see if he would come, if he would comfort him during the long nights he cried himself to sleep. But he wouldn't come.
'Do you hate me now?' He thought to himself, not really expecting a reply, and like he thought, none came.

xxxXxxx

"Blimey mate, George? George?" George's eyes opened slowly to look into the concerned faces of the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.
He frowned, puzzled "Wha-?" He glanced around the white room and he knew he was in the hospital wing. Then everything came flooding back, mostly. He lifted a hand to his head and winced as he felt a large lump swelling on his forehead.
"Thought we lost you there for a minute." Charlie grinned "Thank goodness we had Oliver just below to catch you.
Fred wasn't looking directly at his twin. "I'm so sorry!"
And then George remembered the bludger, remembered Fred slogging it with such force and then crying out in alarm as it flew toward George. Then everything was black.
He sat up slightly and ignored his twin who looked thoroughly ashamed of himself "Who won?"
"Charlie got the Snitch but we only just beat Ravenclaw." Oliver Wood explained "After you fell Fred got all panicky and refused to hit another bludger."
"At least you're alright; I seriously thought I'd killed you, George! It hit you so hard." Fred's eyes were still panicky and he couldn't believe that he was responsible for putting his brother in the hospital wing from hitting a bludger at him.
"S' fine. I'm fine." George muttered all the same glaring at Fred "What the hell did you do that for anyway?"
"I didn't know you were there! I thought I was hitting it at the Ravenclaws."
George, not ready to forgive and forget just yet glared at him and scoffed. Madam Pomfrey approached, shooing Angelina and Charlie to the side, George almost leapt up "Can I go?"
She pushed him firmly back to the pillows "Not just yet, Mr Weasley. I want to keep you here a little longer to be sure your mind isn't affected. But you lot…" she turned to the team "can leave him to rest. Shoo! You too, Mr Weasley…and Mr Weasley!" She literally chased Charlie and Fred several paces. Fred staring apologetically back at George "I said I'm sorry!"
George scowled and grudgingly allowed Madam Pomfrey to force some warmish liquid that tasted strangely like toast down his throat.

xxxXxxx

"Let it go, mate! You know I didn't mean to do it!" Fred persisted as he and George made their way back from Transfiguration. The latter determined to ignore his twin, he still wasn't finished being angry at him, after a minute or so though he rounded on him.
"You turned my watch into a miniature porcupine! How could you not mean to do that?"
"Relax, McGonagall put it right!"
"You still did it."
"Ge-Daisy roots-" Fred paused to recite the password to the Fat Lady's portrait which opened to admit them into the Gryffindor Common Room. "George, I said I was sorry, just leave it would you?"
George sighed and held up his left wrist, all along it was once deep puncture marks. "I'll leave it when you match me."

xxxXxxx

George was angry, he was not at all pleased with his twin in fact he felt betrayed. He didn't speak to his twin who ran behind him crying out various things. Finally in their dormitory he turned to Fred.
"You KNEW I was going to ask Angelina to the Ball! Why the hell would you do that? I thought you were my brother."
"I am, it sorta just slipped out! I had to show Ron how easy it was to ask a girl and Angelina was the nearest option." Fred defended, looking a little ashamed now. "I didn't think you'd care that much."
"Yeah, I wouldn't ordinarily but when I told you that I was going to ask her, you go and ask her! That's just being a git, you know I fancy her…."
Fred was beginning to have enough now "Yeah, I know. Guess what…I do too!"
George blinked, his anger forgotten for the moment "You do?"
"Yeah…I mean, I guess" Fred turned around and ran a hand through his flaming red hair. "I just- I didn't want you to get mad at me. That's why I didn't tell you..."
"So you thought asking Angelina out in front of me wouldn't make me mad at you?"
Fred didn't reply immediately only stared around the otherwise empty dormitory. "Listen to us, would ya? Fighting over a girl. It's stupid really."
His twin smirked slightly "It is isn't it?" He stared out the window and then turned back to Fred "You know, I don't fancy her that much anyway…"
Fred raised a red eyebrow "Oh you don't huh?"
George grinned "Nah. Besides…" he winked "I think it's you she fancies."

xxxXxxx

'Fred?' George tried again, a lone tear sliding down his face as he stared out across the fields, the sun beginning to set on the horizon. A beautiful but terrible crimson red.
"Fred?" He said aloud. "Damn it! You were always there! I need you now!" His voice broke, and he choked back a sob "Why won't you listen?" He added in a whisper, dropping his face between his knees and drawing them to his chest.
You think I'm not hurting?
'Fred?' George lifted his face in shock.
Hey there sunshine.
'You're not really here are you? I'm going crazy, it's just grief making me go crazy.'
I can't really answer that, but you'll believe it if you keep thinking it.
George rocked back and forward, still hugging his knees for a moment "Will you stay?" he asked aloud after a while.
Fred in his head remained silent for so long George thought he had left again. I'm not sure. I'll never be gone.
George closed his eyes and let the last sunlight of the day bathe his face in gold. They shared everything, there wasn't anything they hadn't told the other eventually. Such as it was when one is one person in two bodies. They had joked about their futures and discussed them seriously. The possibility of either of them ever having twin sons cropped up several times and eventually evolved into a strange promise that, on the off chance that it did happen, they would name one of their sons after their twin, either Fred or George.
George scoffed slightly under his breath 'Bill and Fleur are gonna have a baby.'
I know, I was there. Fred's amused voice replied.
'Mum confused us again.'
I know. I heard it…I was there when you busted the mirror and your hand too…
'You didn't try to stop me?"
Yeah, I did actually! I was there, if you had bothered to look hard enough. Your reflection had two ears, idiot! You've only got one, Your Holeyness!
George didn't say anything. This was as close as he and his twin would ever get to a conversation in this life…the life he didn't even know if he was completely living. He supposed he wasn't. He supposed he was just a shell and that the real George had died along with Fred.
George…I know what you're thinking.
'So?'
So put it this way, if you wind up killing yourself…I'm gonna make sure you never do see me again. I would never forgive you for that. His voice was so grave and serious that it scared George a little. He snorted and said nothing.

The last of the sunset seeped beneath the horizon, bathing George's gaunt face in shadow once more. A shadow that he doubted it would ever come out of.