|Carry On Foul
Author: Cadeja PM
"One of us is getting checked out,so if you don't want to spend the rest of night greeting strangers I'd suggest you play along.Try to look like a couple, you know." I silently concede the point.I nearly scoff at how good Cao Pi's at pretending.AU,R18,PxYRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Cao Pi & Sima Yi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,081 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 03-05-12 - Published: 11-24-10 - id: 6501478
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
On Exploiting Asymmetric Information
Once I've gotten to Wei's headquarters, I have the luck to almost make it into my office undetected, but then Uncle has to notice.
"Cao Pi! Why did you send me that text, when clearly both you and Sima Yi aren't ill?"
I put my briefcase down on the desk between us and proceed to look busy.
"We were ill, Uncle. It's the reason we're late."
Xiahou Dun peers over at the blank papers I'm shuffling.
"If Sima Yi were giving me that excuse for anything other than an office party, I would trust him. But am I supposed to believe that the first thing he does when sick is call his friend? Was that text of yours meant as a prank? Pi, you know that your father won't like your failing to take running his business seriously."
I put down my pile of empty papers, and look uncle square in the eye.
"That wasn't a joke, Uncle. I knew Sima Yi would be late because he spent the night with me. He left around 10 am, so he must have gotten here around what, 10:30? "
Uncle backs off : "You should have mentioned that you knew. If Yi actually felt ill enough to want someone else's care last night then he shouldn't be here now. Send him home when you see him."
I bite down the urge to tell Uncle that our night wasn't exactly like that.
"Yes, Uncle...but, I don't think it's a good idea to send him off on his own. Honestly, the man was so feverish this morning that I'm surprised he could drive here safely."
Dun pinches the bridge of his nose: "Was he, now? That Sima Yi should understand there's a reason he's given sick days. We can't have him crash on his way home... Pi, you said you were taking care of him last night? You may be contagious. Get him home now and see that he doesn't get worse."
I put my papers back into their brief case and close it.
"Yes, sir. I'll just drop these papers off, and then get Yi."
"Zhen, dear, I don't think you ought to visit me today. Sima Yi is quite ill, and Dun thinks I should take care of him. I imagine he'll be very infectious."
Zhen shifts away from her computer, to look at me quizzically.
"Love, Sima's so ill that Dun wants him out of the office?"
"Apparently Uncle fears it may become a legal issue if he crashes. Dun wants me driving him home."
She taps a pencil with her finger nails, making a soft clacking.
"And Dun wants you to take care of Sima Yi? Baby, that's strange..."
I lean over to peck Zhen: "It is strange, dove, but we are Wei."
And now I'm off.
I wonder if I should knock Yi's door first?
I walk in after just swinging it open, all the better to see what Yi occupies his time with. He stares up from the computer he'd been typing at, seeming less than excited to see me.
"Cao Pi, sir, is there something that you require of me?"
"Yes, Zhongda. Pack your things. You get to spend the day off with me."
Yi stops typing in favor of glaring at me and saying: "I apologize, Cao Pi, but did you forget that we both have a job to do? It's something that I at least value." Well, Yi doesn't know what I actually have been told. So here goes:
I sigh and click my tongue before stalking over to talk to Yi more privately:
"You see, Zhongda, that's the thing. After Dun got my text that you had been severely ill, well he believed me. He... then became livid upon realizing that you came here to infect everyone else. You'd better go now if you want to stay in Wei's good graces."
Yi's eyes widen as he begins to shut down his computer.
"...damnit, Zihuan. What monster did I create when I told you that selectively controlling information was a good thing? You do know that all my data and programs are on this computer? You've essentially just damned me to having to stay late the rest of the week."
I flick a strand of hair that had fallen on Yi's forehead.
"And I'll stay with you then, Zhongda."
He grabs some files as his Computer shuts down.
"That does not help in avoiding suspicion!"
I close in and pick up Yi's brief case for him:
"Relax, Zhongda. Oh, and that little blue scarf your wearing? It's very cute, maybe we can tie it around your wrists when we get home."
"Enough! Cao P-"
I kiss him, just to make sure Yi looks flushed and fevered enough to make this ruse convincing.
Finally. I can't get into Cao Pi's apartment soon enough.
Not out of desire or lust, but that then we can stop this idiot charade.
The minute I am inside I take the damned scarf off.
"There, Cao Pi, there. It's all because of you that He gave me that scarf."
Pi puts my case down before locking and bolting the door.
"I don't understand your complaint, Yi. Did He give you that scarf as a "congratulations for finally getting laid" present? If not, I don't see what I have to do with it."
I shift out of my stifling blazer, and crane my neck to show the series of circular bruises on it.
"I would have had nothing to hide if you hadn't mauled me last night."
I think I may have smirked for a moment, by mistake. Pi comes over, put his hands on my shoulders, and peer at my neck.
"That's... a bit worse than I'd meant to. Sorry, Zhongda." Oh? What was that in his voice, remorse? How cute.
"Heh. You should see the ones covered by my shirt. I mean really, Zihuan?" I wrap my hands about the back of Pi's neck, now that he's close enough, running one into the hair at the base of his neck.
"I could be gentle with you, Zhongda. If you prefer." Pi is actually taking this seriously!
"Hmmm. No, I don't prefer."
"Does this mean we can use that scarf on you in bedroom?"
"If I still feel like it this evening, yes. But, first I must change out of this.
in private, Zihuan."
Well, Zihuan's left me at his couch to filp through channels while waiting for him to get back from the kitchen. He even did let me change in peace. Into an outfit he choose. Of one of his old work shirts, missing the top buttons, and too small black bicycle shorts that I hope belong to Miss Zhen instead of Pi.
You win some, lose some.
There we go. That's the sight I wanted to see. Ebony hair tossed over a shoulder, a too large button up riding down to reveal a clavicle, and shorts small enough you can't tell they're there. Actually, it's a sight I'd want to see whenever opening my apartment's door.
Yi flips through channels until stopping at some cinema, about ancient China from the look of it.
I clear my throat:
"Yi, your drink."
He takes the glass of water with an outstretched had, and then tips it to his lips.
"...I can't believe you actually always ask for plain water, Zhongda."
"That's because it's too early for alcohol, day off or not. After all, some of us like to keep a sense of discipline." Yi speaks while running his foot briefly up my calf, so that I get a nice view of him.
Discipline? I sometimes get the feeling that Zhongda's trying to make awkward innuendos.
I shrug and sip my scotch.
"As you like it, Zhongda."
This is pointless, Zihuan's and my just reclining on his sofa during a Tuesday afternoon. I know that most would describe doing such with a lover as pleasant, which I do not deny it is. I just remind myself of the prior, to avoid becoming too caught up by the later.
Still, I sigh before deciding that Pi won't mind if I lie myself on him. Simply out of idle boredom...
"Yi, that girl playing the enemy commander's quite hot. She reminds me of someone..."
I'd forgotten the movie. After turning my head off Pi's chest to see what he's talking about, I just give an exasperated: "Not this again, Pi. Don't make some comparison to one of the secretary's asses. I do not want to hear that."
Zihuan grins and nudges my ribs.
"Don't get jealous Zhongda. I was actually thinking that if you were a girl in ancient china, you'd be her."
Is that Zihuan thinking this is a normal way to start a conversation with me? These topics are too strange.
"If I were a Chinese girl? Does this type of thought come naturally to you?"
"Zhongda, the similarities are obvious. She even acts like you."
That appraisal is accurate... if offensive, but:
"Pi, they said her name was Cao Ying. That wouldn't be me." I have the upper hand, now.
"Of course it would. Ying, Yi; and that Cao must mean that you'd be my wife." Pi begins to run his hand up the back of my borrowed shirt.
"You think that your Three Kingdoms self would have better luck with me?"
I pull my legs to me so I rest almost completely in front of Pi's lap.
"I would,Zhongda, because I'd be emperor."
I tilt my head up at Zihuan.
"Heh. So your having power would mean I automatically want to ride your dick? I thought you knew that wasn't true about me. " I... run my fingers under his chin, just for enjoyment.
Pi shrugs, "I'd find a way to make you mine, remember I'm emperor." He takes my wrist and holds it before his face before brushing his lips to it.
"Hmm. Zihuan, after that last bit I am certainly am glad that you're not emperor." I return my hand to my side.
"But I would take very good care of you Zhongda..."
Zihuan pulls me by the hand, onto his lap.
"What you mean, Zihuan, is that I would be your favorite pet."
He begins to kiss my neck. I grind myself down on him.
"No; or at least I would care more for you and your talents than any other emperor ever could."
I tilt my head to the side so Zihuan can access my flesh. I run a hand through his bangs.
"Hmph, now isn't that generous of you? Tell me, as it is... a cause for concern, or confusion, at the least: do you... often think of me as a girl? Be honest, Zihuan."
Pi places a firm kiss on my jaw, runs his hands between my thighs.
"No...but I do think of how amazing you would look in stilettos, a silk dress, and lace panties."
He slips his hand over to start stroking where my decidedly not-female parts are.
"Ahhh- Fuck you, Zihuan. Do not- debate me when your hand is on my crotch. Cheat."
"It'd be fun for the both of us. You'd be perfect at it, with some red lipstick, your waist and those childbearing hips."
I push myself up to look at him.
"...Zihuan, I'm a man. We don't have childbearing hips."
He pulls me back down to him.
"Shhh. Yi, sorry.I'd meant that- you'd love it, having me dote on that body of yours."
His breath's throaty as I sit myself on him. Zihuan's hands roam under the waistband of those damned shorts. I should get us on a productive track, be the responsible adult; but-
I let myself move and sink into him.
Inconsequential. That is what all of this is, inconsequential.
So... this feels a little incomplete and pointless, but I feel I ought to post something (after all this time). Hopefully it was a fun read.
And... now I have to remember where the plot was going in the first place.
Having finished this at 4 am does not help, but this is the last day I can post before classes restart.
Oh, and the movie mentioned is Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon. Definitely not a date movie, but a beautiful one. There's a post at the tumblr link at my profile.