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Song of the Chapter: Paradise Lost-Hollywood Undead

Bella

It was four days after my doctor visit and I still can't keep my mind off of Edward Cullen and his hasty behavior. He was different from other people I could tell that much but I didn't know what it was. Could it be his oddly cold skin, his strange golden eyes, or maybe how perfect he looked? The other Dr. Cullen was just the same way but there was nothing similar in the looks between him and Edward, if that made any sense. And he was so young how could he possibly be Edward's father? After I decided my musings were beginning to sound stalkerish I got into the shower. After getting out and smelling of my favorite fragrant I went downstairs my stomach growling.

I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and the cereal I bought yesterday at the Market. I poured in some of the cereal and milk before digging my spoon in and taking a bite. I ate quietly the only sound was the cereal crunching in my mouth. I stare out the window and at the rainy day off Forks, I grimace slightly missing the heat and the blazing sun. Today was probably going to be just one of those random lay around the house days, I thought about my plans before nodding.

"Yup that's what I'll do." I mutter to myself. I look back down at my bowl of cereal and watched the colorful flakes move around in the milk. Unknowing that their little cereal lives could end at any second. I shake my head disgusted with myself.

"Come on Swan you've known for three freaking years, three freaking years!" I shout thoroughly pissed off suddenly. I've known I was going to die for three years, I knew the surgeries weren't going to help, I knew I could never have the life I've really wanted, I've known all of this and still it hits me like a freaking boulder crushing my lungs and suffocating me until I can't bare it any more. I pick up my bowl and spill the remains down the disposal.

Edward

So as I sat down sandwich in between Tanya and Irina I couldn't help but think I would have done better in Forks. I did everything to ignore their graphic thoughts and decided enough was enough after Tanya planted a picture of all three of us together. I wished that Eleazar and Kate were here but they decided to take a vacation in France.

"Excuse me." I say quietly trying to keep the disgust out of my voice. They complain in their high pitched voices but I'm already leaving and running through the snow. Why out of all the places do you come here you moron? I think to myself. I sigh and sink into the snow staring up at the sunny sky. I lift my arm and watch as it lights up and sparkles, as if tiny diamonds we're embedded in my skin. I frown slightly wishing oddly that we would just burn up in the sun like the vampires in Bram Stokers novels or Anne Rice. Death would come so much easier, and quicker. I was so thankful for the quiet; the voices of those around me vanished. My new cell phone that I bought today rings and I pull it from my pocket.

"Esme?" I ask quirking an eyebrow.

"Hello son how are you feeling?" she asks like any other worried mother would to her son.

"I've definitely been better." I tell her honestly. I hear her soft sigh and wish I could read her thoughts through the phone.

"Oh Edward sometimes I think your a bit dramatic." Esme tells me and I choke slightly.

"Me? Dramatic?" I scoff offended by her accusation, I had perfectly good reason to stay away from Forks and she knew it.

"Oh son Alice is in a tizzy trying to see your future and trying to become in tacked will that new girl Isabella. As a matter of fact she was actually-"There's an incoherent shout from someplace in the house and rustling, I note that I hear Alice whispering something furiously to Esme. After a few moments she comes back on. "Sorry dear Emmett put his head in the wall." I laugh loudly but something in her voice made me question the trustiness of her words.

"So Esme what was the reason of your call?" I ask after we shared a moment of silence.

"Well I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She says softly. I take a moment and she sighs again. "And I was going to try and convince you to come back." I nod understanding now.

"I probably will I don't know if I can take the succubus's anymore." I comment and her laughter rings through the phone.

"Well Edward it's whatever you decide son and I want you to know Carlisle and I and everyone else will be right behind you with every decision even if we don't like the outcome." Esme tells me and immediately I feel like an ass and only Esme can do that without sounding mean and hateful but like a loving mother.

"Thanks mom." I tell her.

"Goodbye Son." She says kindly before hanging up. I sigh and lay the small silver phone on my chest. What would I do if I did go back to Forks Isabella would be there for sure and she was also my patient so there but I could always have her switched… THAT'S IT! I sat up quickly a grin evident on my face all I had to do was switch her doctors and I'm sure it won't be a hassle at all. I mean of course she'll still be there and I might even run into her sometimes but it wouldn't be too hard would it? I muse over my plan trying to convince myself that it was the answer.

"Okay yeah fine that will do." I reach for my phone but it binges and I see the text message.

C'mon on home Edward-A I laugh joyfully. That human shouldn't have so much power over me I was better than some human blood crazed monster, and I would go back to Fork's and prove it to everyone.

Bella

I rush to the bathroom quickly and lift the lid before vomiting my guts out. I heave and tears run down my face. I hear Charlie come into the bathroom and feel him brushing my hair back for me.

"Shh it's okay Bells let it out honey." He says his voice soft but filled with disgust, I push at him.

"Go on dad I know you don't want to see this." I complain before throwing up again.

"I'm here for you." Charlie says strongly and I don't push him harder and just hope this will be over soon. After a few minutes of snotty crying and gross vomiting it stops and I'm sweating while the room spins.

"I'm gonna go get you some water and your pill." Charlie murmurs brushing my hair away from my face. I don't answer and watch him leave before flushing the toilet. Resting my face against the cool tile floor felt better than anything and when Charlie returned with my water and medicine I downed it in seconds. He lifts me up from the floor and I hear him grunt, the swaying motion was making the dizziness worse.

"Dad put me down." I complain.

"I got this Bells." He groans and opens my bedroom door. I stay still and count to twenty in my head as he lies me down on the cool blanket.

"I'm gonna go call-"I shake my head quickly interrupting him.

"No it's fine dad I'll be okay." I tell him closing my eyes.

"You sure?" his voice is rough and concerned making me smile because it was so Charlie.

"Yeah thanks." I tell him and I hear his retreating feet.

"Love you kid." He whispers and for a split second I hear the vulnerability and sadness in his voice. He shuts the door behind him and I open my eyes turning on my side and looking out the window. The moon was full tonight and the sky looked more clear than I've ever seen it with thousands of stars radiating in the night. My eyes began burning with hot tears and this time I let them fall.

When I wake up it's noon, I'm still in my clothes from yesterday, and my mouth is dry and just horrible. I rub the sleep from my eyes and my head felt like I was recovering from a hangover.

"Ungh!" I groan loudly. I groggily get out of bed ready to punch something. I made my way to the closet and ripped out a pair of black sweats, a long sleeved blue shirt, and a white lace bra and matching underwear. I quickly get to the bathroom where I was off the grime that felt like it clung to my skin. I brushed my teeth violently hoping the taste would leave me of last nights vomiting episode. I let my hair be and walked downstairs, I knew I couldn't stomach anything today so I just grabbed a bottle of water took my pills before noticing a yellow sticky note on the cabinet.

Hope you feeling alright kid. I'm gonna go fishing around noon with Billy Black so if your feeling up to it can you go to the store and pick up some stuff for me list is on the counter. Love you. Dad.

I groan and stomp back upstairs putting on some socks, converse, and the keys to the Ford. I made my way downstairs with a permanent scowl on my face, I really didn't want to go out. He said I didn't have to but c'mon after how he was all there for me last night how could I not do something for him. He was giving me this year, one last year and than I would be gone. I throw on a hoodie and bound outside to the truck where I got in started the baby up and began driving to the Market.

Hehe here we go

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