Title: Godzilla Vs Hercules
Archive: Yes, please. Let me know if you take it, OK?
Teaser: Hercules fights his biggest opponent yet! Comedy
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Studios USA or
Whoever owns the Rights to Xena: Warrior Princess. Godzilla belongs to Toho
Studios, I'm just borrowing the Big G for this fic, no money is being made.
Hercules and Iolaus strolled through an empty field on their way to Corinth
to visit Iphicles. It had been a long time since he had visited his brother
and a visit was past due. The sky was blue with little white clouds and
wildflowers dotted the green field with their vibrant colors. It just
seemed that every time he tried to visit Corinth something came up and so
he never got there. His other brother, Ares, was often involved.
"I can't wait to get to Corinth and stay at the Palace! The food they got
there! Just thinking of it makes my mouth water!" Iolaus told Hercules and
they started to climb a hill.
"I just hope Ares doesn't interfere again." Hercules replied. The big hero
reached the top of the hill and stopped. Ares was standing at the top of
the hill, waiting for them. Hercules sighed loudly. "Not now, Ares. I don't
have time to play your games. I'm on the way to visit Iphicles, as I'm sure
"Why, aren't you glad to see me?" Ares asked, a hurt expression on his
face. "I always try to visit you."
"I could do without your visits." Hercules said as he moved past his Godly
half brother. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to Corinth."
"So you don't want to hear about the monster?" Ares asked.
Hercules stopped and turned to face Ares. "What monster?"
"Yeah, what monster?" Iolaus asked.
"The giant one that's stomping towards Corinth." Ares explained. "It'll be
there soon if you don't stop it. I just thought I should tell you."
Hercules stared at Ares, confused. "Why are you telling us this?"
"Why, isn't that your job? Being a Monster Slayer?" Ares asked innocently.
"And I know you'd just hate yourself if you got there too late and the city
"We better go slay it!" Iolaus told his best friend.
"Which direction is it?" Hercules asked. Ares pointed and the Demigod
started running in that direction. Soon he spotted the monster and skidded
to a halt. The thing was the largest creature he had ever seen!
The monster was big like a mountain and must have been over 100 feet tall!
It was a giant lizard that walked on two legs in an upright position. It's
skin was a dark greenish black, covered with thick scales. The ground
trembled with each step it took. A long tail trailed on the ground behind
the monster and every so often it moved, striking the ground or other
nearby objects. On its back grew some sort of huge spikes, each one shaped
like a maple leaf. Red beady eyes scanned the nearby area as it continued
forward. The tiny arms seemed out of place with the rest of its body.
"Whoa!" Iolaus gasped as he stared up and up and up until he almost fell
over backward. "What the heck IS that thing? And how are we going to kill
something that big?"
"I don't know. But we have to try!" Hercules pulled out the sword he had
taken from a warlord just that morning and raced towards the monster.
Leaping as high as he could, he landed on top of the monster's giant foot.
Iolaus gulped down his fear and dashed after the retreating monster. Just
two steps of the giant creature had already put a lot of distance between
him and Hercules. If he didn't hurry, he'd be left behind! The monster's
big feet stirred up loose dust and Iolaus coughed as he ran. Finally
reaching the other foot, he bravely leaped onto it. The rough skin felt hot
and dry under his hands. And very hard.
On the foot, Hercules braced himself the best he could. He raised his sword
and plunged the pointed tip straight down into the monster's foot. He
expected an immediate reaction from the creature and was puzzled when none
came. So he stabbed at it a few more times. Surely that would do the job!
"Is it dead yet?" Hercules asked Iolaus.
"No, not yet. It's still heading towards Corinth!" Iolaus replied.
Hercules bent to examine the foot and saw that his sword hadn't caused any
damage at all. He couldn't even find a scratch! The well muscled hero
frowned. "This is going to be harder than I thought."
Deciding the foot was too tough, Hercules hopped off. Soon the tail was in
front of him and Hercules gripped the very tip. The tip was wide but his
arms just fit around it. He dug his heels into the ground and hung on. "I
got it! Iolaus, I got the monster!"
Iolaus hopped off the other foot and hurried over by Hercules. He watched
as Hercules was dragged behind the walking monster. The demigod's boots
began to smoke from friction. "Are you sure you got it, Herc?"
"Of course I...Whoa!" Hercules hung on even tighter as he was suddenly
lifted high into the air. Then the tail was slammed back onto the ground
with incredible force. Hercules gritted his teeth but was determined to
hang on. His feet left the ground for a second time as the tail tip moved
upward. When it struck the ground the second time, Hercules was forced to
let go. He lay on the ground, dazed.
"Hercules!" Iolaus rushed over to his friend, fearing he had been mortally
wounded. "Are you OK? Talk to me!"
"Boy, that thing is worse than the hydra. It can fight real good with that
tail!" Hercules rubbed his head and slowly sat up.
"Uh, Herc?" Iolaus stuttered. "I'm not sure it even knew you were ON it's
"Of course it did! It kept slamming me on the ground! We were having a
fight!" Hercules replied, a bit annoyed.
"I think it was just wagging it's tail, like a dog." Iolaus stated.
"That's crazy! Maybe it won that round, but I'll win the next one!"
Hercules got up and dusted off his clothes. "Let's go build a trap!"
"A trap? How are we going to trap something that big?" Iolaus asked.
"Easy. Come on!" Hercules ran ahead of the monster and soon found the
perfect place for his trap. He handed Iolaus a shovel. "Help me dig a deep
pit for it. We'll trap it's foot and then it can't go smash Corinth!"
Iolaus gave Hercules a worried look but started to dig. Soon they were both
covered in sweat and the pit took form. It was deeper and wider than
Hercules was tall. They finished just it time, as the monster appeared over
the next hill. At first only it's head was visible, then its chest, its
stomach and finally its legs. They both scrambled out of the pit and hid in
some nearby bushes.
"It's going straight for the pit!" Hercules whispered to Iolaus. "Pits are
good for catching animals. At the last minute, they had thrown some thin
branches and grass over the open hole to hide it.
"I don't know..." Iolaus muttered. The little hunter couldn't see how a
small hole was going to stop such a big monster! "I don't think we CAN stop
that monster. It's just too big!"
"Nonsense, Iolaus! I never met a monster I couldn't kill." Hercules leaned
forward in anticipation as the monster walked towards the trap. Its foot
came down directly on the trap and nothing happened. The hole had been too
small! "Phooey! The hole was nothing but a tiny crack to it."
Iolaus came out of the bushes and watched the monster's spiked back as it
headed towards Corinth. "What are we going to do now?"
"Hmm....let me think." Hercules knew they had very little time left. Then a
grin spread across his face. "I have the perfect idea!"
"I hope it's better than your last idea." Iolaus muttered.
** Some Time Later **
"A monster, huh? Sure I'll go kill it. Where is it?" Xena asked.
"It's heading towards Corinth. You got to hurry!" Hercules told her.
"Don't worry. I'll go take care of it." Xena leaped onto Argo and hurried
off towards Corinth. Soon she saw the giant monster stomping along, it's
tail swishing behind it. She frowned. Hercules hadn't told her the thing
was THAT big. Xena quickly climbed to the top of a tall tree and waited
until it came closer. Taking careful aim, she threw her deadly chakrom at
its face. The chakrom bounced off the hard scales on it's nose and flew
over the monster's head. It landed high on it's back, getting caught on one
of the spikes.
"Dang!" Xena swore. The monster passed her and continued on towards
Corinth, her chakrom on its back. "Come back here with my chakrom!"
Xena climbed down from the tree and ran after Godzilla. She leaped onto his
tail and started to climb upwards. It's hide felt extremely hot under her
hands and her boots slipped a few times, but she was determined to get her
favorite weapon back! She was about halfway to her chakrom when Corinth
came into view. She could see Hercules, Iolaus and Gabrielle herding people
to safety in some nearby caves. People saw the monster and started to
panic. Their screams filled the air as they stampeded towards safety. Xena
hoped they had evacuated everyone, but the Warrior Princess doubted it.
There hadn't been enough time. Several thousand lived in Corinth.
Xena scrambled up the monster's back faster, her hands gripping the spines
as she pulled herself higher and higher. Perhaps if she reached it's head
she could kill it somehow, maybe with her sword. She finally reached her
chakrom and tried to pry it loose. The thing had gotten jammed somehow...
"Come on! I don't have the time!" She muttered as she yanked with all her
strength. Her weapon finally popped free and she almost fell. She regained
her balance and took a quick glance at their surroundings. Corinth was
right in front of them now. Just then the monster turned and started to go
around the city. Xena clung to its back as she watched the city pass by on
her right. Now the ocean was right in front of them and the great creature
happily lumbered into the deep salty water.
"Uh oh. I better get down from here before it takes me to sea!" Xena leaped
from the monster's back, landing in the water. After swimming to shore, she
went to sea what the others were doing.
** That Evening **
Xena looked down at herself in confusement.
"Why the heck am I glowing this odd green???"