
Penelope Garcia imparts an unforgettable lesson on Dr. Spencer Reid. Companion piece to "Santa's Slaughter".
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - S. Reid & P. Garcia - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12-17-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6562717
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Author's Note: Hold on folks, this is a long note today! First, Tonnie and I would like to announce that signups for Chit Chat on Author's Corner's January Challenge-The Happy New Year's Challenge are open thru December 30, 2010. Simply swing by the forum (you can link to it thru our profile pages) and sign up with the pairing you'd like to see written and three prompts associated with the holiday. On Jan 1, 2011, you'll be assigned a random pairing (not the one you usually write) and three prompts to write by January 30.
Second, I have a question for my readers. I truly enjoyed last night's CM episode, "What Happens at Home" and the introduction of the character Agent Ashley Seaver. I intend to do some stories with her character incorporated into a pairing and I'd like to know who you guys would like to see me pair her with. I know the obvious choice is Reid, but what about Hotch or Rossi. Anybody that knows my work knows I'm a sucker for older man/younger woman pairings. So, shoot me a pm or review and let me know what you think. I think the world of you guys and value your opinions!
Just a reminder, December 25th is right around the corner. WE HAVE JUST OVER ONE WEEK LEFT! Everyone that signed up for the CM Christmas Fic Exchange, please remember your stories. We want this to be a WONDERFUL gift experience for all involved. If you have any questions, feel free to pm either myself (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969.
In other forum news, please check out our newest discussion thread, "Serious vs. Light - Which gets the most response?" It is a discussion of serious vs. light stories and the response they get from readers. We also have new interviews with Clarebones and musicxlife4 up for your reading pleasure.
Also please check out the discussion thread entitled, "The Fine Line Between T and M ratings". There's a great ongoing discussion there, too.
Finally, if any of you have any idea for issues/activities that you'd like to see "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum tackle in the form of discussion threads and/or challenges, please let us know. We want to bring you all some really fun threads in the New Year!
As always, thank you to every reader, reviewer, and person that favorites or alerts one of our stories. Hearing from each of you means a great deal to each of us. We truly value your thoughts and opinions. Now, on with our story!
Yes, Dr. Reid! There is a Santa Claus!
He'd slain Santa.
For that crime alone, the punishment was clear and precise, not to be disputed, argued, or opposed in any form or fashion. He'd be serving time in a Christmas purgatory of Penelope Garcia's own personal devising.
Everyone knew the rules. It was simplistic, really.
You did not screw with St. Nick, the reindeer, or any one of the nameless elves.
Or Penelope Garcia.
Doing so would invoke the flaming wrath of the normally dormant deity that resided within the usually generous spirit that was Garcia.
Why had no one explained those rules to Dr. Spencer Reid?
The rules weren't new, by any stretch of the imagination. Even Erin Strauss gave Penelope a wide berth when it came to the Yuletide holiday. Evidently the woman had no desire to match wits with Santa's own personal avenging angel, so the full month of December was considered a quasi-federal holiday by most of the BAU calendars.
But, for some unfathomable reason, Spencer Reid had chosen this year to imitate the Grinch and steal Christmas away from her godson...their godson.
And for that, Penelope Garcia thought with a grim smile as she finalized the plans for her retribution, the young genius would pay. In spades.
/XXX/
"You're on borrowed time, youngster," Derek stated evenly, crossing his arms over his chest as he cocked an eyebrow in speculation at his coworker. "Do yourself a favor and take a leave of absence."
"How long?" Reid asked glumly, dropping heavily back into his desk chair as he scuffed his loafer against the linoleum. Staring around at all of his gathered colleagues, he couldn't help but wonder if time travel could actually be finalized within the next few minutes. He had a feeling that science fiction might be his only salvation at this point.
"Fourth of July, at least," Prentiss grimaced, shaking her head at her younger colleague.
"I'm think at least Labor Day," Hotch added, his lips twitching as he stared as Reid leaned forward, head down, chin resting on his arms as he stared morosely up at them.
"Face it, Kid. You pissed on Penelope's party. She's gonna want blood for that sin," Rossi injected sagely, barely controlling the grin threatening to overtake his lips. "Preferably yours."
"But...but, it was an accident," Reid sputtered, his eyes widening in defense.
"You accidently spilled the beans on the origins of Santa?" Emily asked, raising a dark brow in doubt.
"Well, yes. Henry asked me where Santa lived. What was I supposed to say?" Reid asked the assembled group desperately.
"The North Pole!" the group declared in unison, their stern voices giving credence to their belief.
"But that would have been a lie." Reid shook his head as he straightened his shoulders. "And I promised myself that I would never willingly lie to my godson."
"You'd rather face Baby Girl's wrath? I don't know whether to slap some sense into you or feel sorry for you, man," Morgan snorted, shaking his head as he wondered about the obvious stupidity of the younger generation.
"I vote for option one," an irritated voice said stridently from behind them.
Everyone's eyes widened as they collectively turned to see a flushed Penelope Garcia striding in their direction. And it didn't take seasoned profilers to know that she was not coming in peace.
"Now, Boys and Girls, if you'll all excuse us, I have a Christmas lesson to impart on the little non-believer that thought to spread his non-Christmas joy this morning," Penelope declared darkly, narrowing her eyes on the target.
"See ya, Reid," Emily said quickly, darting away as she moved rapidly toward the far side of the bullpen.
"Good luck," Hotch drawled, walking toward his office.
"I'm outtie," Morgan grinned, winking at Garcia as he dropped a kiss against her furrowed brow.
"Can't I watch?" Dave asked eagerly, always up for watching a Garcia slapdown - as long as it wasn't happening to him.
"Go," Garcia ordered, jabbing an imperious finger towards his office.
"Well, at least take pictures," Dave grumbled, walking away slowly, hoping to hear a few tasty morsels he could at least find funny later.
"Oh, there'll be pictures," Penelope muttered, dropping a large nondescript box in front of an alarmed Reid. "Find a bathroom and put the contents of this box on. I'll meet you downstairs at the front door in five," she demanded tersely, watching carefully as the lanky man moved rapidly toward the nearest exit.
/XXX/
Four and a half minutes later, Reid grimaced as he walked out of the elevator, his cheeks flaming as he felt the curious eyes of everyone he passed eyeing him.
Some laughed. Others cackled.
But only one met him with a skeptical eye.
"Sell it," Penelope Garcia called out as she waited impatiently at the door of the Federal Building, her purple heel tapping against the tiled floor as she fished her phone from the deep pocket of her scarlet overcoat.
"Sell what?" Reid yelped as a flash bulb went off before his eyes, forever freezing his elfin face in time for all to enjoy.
"I want you to sell the Christmas spirit, Doctor Reid," Penelope ordered him shortly, her lips tightening as he seemed to shrink inside the green and red felt costume.
"How?" Reid groaned, his green elf shoes flapping against the floor as he advanced toward Garcia.
"Don't know, don't care," Pen shrugged. "But that very shapely hiney, which incidentally looks very perky and cute in those green tights of yours, isn't coming out of that suit until I'm convinced that you believe."
"Believe in what exactly, Garcia?" Reid asked, sweat breaking out on his brow underneath the green tasseled cap. Heaven help him, but he was afraid that he already knew what answer was about to spurt forth from her painted lips.
"You, Dr. Reid, need to convince me that you believe in the spirit of Santa," she informed him.
"And you think prancing me around as Santa's elf is going to help you?" Reid asked, shaking his sandy head, his cap falling precariously over his eyes.
"Oh, no...that's just for my personal enjoyment," Pen winked, snapping another picture. "Now, let's go!"
/XXX/
Two hours later, Spencer Reid was exhausted, but in a good way.
You see, as part of his Christmas confinement, Penelope Garcia had arranged for him to be part of Santa's very own assembly line at the local soup kitchen.
All morning and into the afternoon, Reid worked alongside her and others, singing Christmas carols and spreading good cheer among the city's less fortunate souls.
And when he looked in their hopeful eyes, their cheeks warming as they received a good meal...some, their first in weeks… Spencer Reid began to think that maybe...just maybe...there was a Santa after all.
And she was standing right beside him through it all.
The End
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