A/N:

Desiderata means 'desired things'.

Oh btw, Ed has no accent in this fic, unlike the last one. I flipped a coin as to whether it's the 2003 version or the 2009 version. 2009 version won.

EDIT 12/3/2010: Geez. This is like, becoming a diary in the A/Ns, like when I wrote The Hero. Whatever! Today, I was walking my dog, and she rolled around in the leaves. I brushed all the leaf bits off when we got in the apartment building, and aw that she was carrying some kind of dark leaf. So I pulled it out, but I dropped it 'cause I realized… IT WAS STINKY STINKY DOG POO. I'm scared to pet my dog now.

EDIT 12/13/2010: Screw due dates; This chapter'll get out when it gets out.

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Snaps. Crackles. And Pops. Ha! Like those guys in that breakfast cereal, right? Hell no! When you're eaten by the false Gate that we call 'Gluttony's Stomach', and the real Gate of Truth intervenes and sends you and an annoying Xingnese prince to some place you've never seen before, food is the last thing that should be on your mind.

And those three words of onomatopoeia bring us to the situation we find Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist, and Ling Yao, the twelfth Crown Prince of Xing, hurdling through a very large transmutation circle set up by the Gate. The blue lightning that comes with transmutations, and even this one… Well, snapped, crackled, and popped. It also made loud buzzing sounds as it zoomed through the complicated lines of the transmutation circle.

It was harder for Ling to move around in Amestrian clothes- white pants, white shirt, and a black jacket – because he spent most of his life in loose Xingnese clothes. Even so, he moved more agilely than Ed, who was flailing his arms through the air.

Lin landed gracefully on the ground, rolling to break his fall. Whereas, Ed had fallen face-flat on the dirt. Ed sat up and wiped the dirt off his face, spitting some out which had gotten in his mouth.

"Ugh… What the hell happened?" screamed Ed.

"You decided to hang out with friends your own height." Ling pointed to where Ed's face had hit the ground, specifically meaning the ants around it. Ed quickly pushed himself to his feet.

"I'M NOT SHORT!"

After trying to hit Ling, but to no avail, the Amestrian boy had calmed down and took a gander around him. They were surrounded by soft grass, a dark forest on one side, a lake on another side, and a great, magnificent castle right behind them. It was blue and white, and had many curved walls.

Ed turned his body often, trying to get a full view of the landscape around him. Ling merely glance around, but took particular interest in the castle behind them.

"Where… are we?" said Edward, craning his neck to get a better view of the castle. He suddenly remembered something important. "Wait- did you see the circle we flew through?"

Ling nodded. "It was a transmutation circle, wasn't it? Weren't we supposed to be eaten by Gluttony?"

"Yeah… But I think that Truth guy intervened." Replied Ed. He looked towards Ling, who looked utterly confused as to whom this 'Truth' was, but Ed didn't answer his unspoken question. "But it's better than being eaten by Gluttony, isn't it?" Ling nodded.

They stood there in silence for a few seconds, feeling the cool breeze coming from the lake, when they saw something disturbing. There was a horde of black cloaked figures gliding towards them, and the closer they got, the worse they felt. Memories started replaying themselves in Ed's mind, each getting more terrible than the last.

His father leaving them.

His mother dying.

Nina.

Losing his brother.

And worst of all, his mistake. The mistake that cost him his leg.

"Shit! What the hell are these?" yelled Ling, shattering the ribcage of one cloaked figure with his foot. This snapped Edward out of his terrifying reverie. The one that Ling had supposedly killed just got back up, and Ling knocked off the head with his other foot. Only this time, did it go down.

More cloaked figures came near, and one of them pulled back its hood. There, instead of a semi-normal face that Ed was expecting, was a mangled face, with eyes sewn shut and a large gaping hole for a mouth. The monster placed its long, bony hands on his neck and squeezed tight. It was surprisingly strong, and Edward just couldn't breathe. He clawed at the sharp nails on his neck, hoping to get them off. The face of whatever-it-was leaned in, and Edward could smell rotting flesh emanating from its mouth.

Just as it was two inches from his face, an arm wrapped itself under its chin and snapped the head off. Ling followed through with this movement and spun around to hurl the headless body at the rest of the humanoid monsters. It knocked over many of them, leaving an open space in the crowd.

"Come on!" yelled Ling, grabbing Ed's hand and dashing through the opening. They ran as fast as possible, as the gliding things stretched their long arms toward them.

Ling led them towards the castle, hoping that the doors weren't locked.

"What the hell are you doing? Those things were right by the entrance! What makes you think that there won't be any more of them inside?" yelled Ed.

"It's our safest bet, so stop complaining!"

"It's probably locked, so just let me…" Ed clapped his hands once as he ran and slammed them onto the wood of the large double doors. "make an entrance!" A smaller door appeared inside the door, but it was unlocked. Once they were inside, Ed transmuted it back just as one of the humanoid figures was nearly able to reach inside to grab Lings ponytail.

The two 'friends' panted heavily, and slid on their backs down to the floor.

"Damn… What the hell was that?" said Ed.

"Don't know, but-" Ling pointed to a greasy-haired man, who was walking down the stairs. He saw them, and his content expression dropped like a stone.

"Intruders!" He flicked a stick, and his voice became louder. "Intruders! INTRUDERS!"

Ling ran after him to try and knock him out, but the man sent a beam of red light towards him, and he fell unconscious.

"Ling!" yelled Ed. He ran up to him, but dodged the first two beams of red light that the hook-nosed man shot at him from the stick he held. Edwards fist was about to connect with his jaw, when suddenly, something slammed into his back, and he went down. His vision focused and unfocused, and he could just barely see the hem of a purple robe with silver stars.

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His head hurt. Had he hit his head on the stone floor? Ed's eyelids fluttered, but he was too tired to even bother to lift them. Once he was about to get up, he stopped, because he heard the voices.

"Honestly Severus," said a disapproving voice. "these two hardly look any older than sixteen!"

A slick and guttural voice replied, "Madam Pomfrey, Black could be disguised as anybody; even one of these two. We'll wait an hour to see if he's used a polyjuice potion. It won't take long."

The woman did not answer the man, but he heard footsteps, and the door open and close. Now was safe a time as ever to open his eyes. His eyelashes parted, revealing eyes of a bright golden hue. Ed didn't sit up, but scanned the room around him.

It was much like a hospital. The beds were white, and there were light green curtains around each one- though none of them were drawn. The stone walls had a pinkish hue, perhaps from the lighting, or maybe it had some sort of stone mixed in with it. The lights were candles on sconces, which seemed odd to Ed. Nobody used candle sconces anymore- especially not in hospitals. Was he in some sort of place where they had yet to catch on to technology?

Edward sensed no movement, so he started to rise- only to be held back. Something was binding him to his bed, not letting him rise for more than six inches or so- but he could so no sort of restraint to bind his body and limbs to where they were. Never mind- the blanket was tightly wrapped over him, though it looked as if it was only draped over his body. The blanket stuck to places, holding his limbs down. Somebody had been able to use the blanket itself as bindings!

The alchemist grunted- trying to rip off the blanket, or at least to clap his hands so he could deconstruct it- but to no avail. His arms were strapped firmly in place by his own sheets. Well, when life gets you down… Make a comforter. Ed felt like he should kill something for making such a terrible joke; even if it was in his head.

Through all his struggling, Edward didn't even notice the sallow-skinned man he saw from before on the far side of the room. He stopped struggling, totally surprised from the mans sudden appearance.

"Well, it seems our troublemaker has woken up." Said he. The man smoothed back a lock of greasy hair. "It's not often we get intruders; let alone ones who can fight through a crowd of dementors." said the man simply.

"Hey, hey, hey! Ling and I were just strolling through when we're attacked by your god damn zombies!" Ed spat at him.

"No no- 'zombies' are quite different. I believe you speak of the Inferi, in which case, we obviously have none." It seems at the pale man finally took notice of how Edward looked. "My, how short you are. And the oddest color of…" he gasped. "A lycanthrope! Near to no werewolves are peaceful- what are you doing here?"

This caused a spark from Edward.

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE'D HAVE TO BE ABLE TO MOUNTAINCLIMB IN ORDER TO GET UP A STAIRCASE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS CREEP?" he screamed. He flailed his legs, which were just a bit held down by his blanket, and he whipped his torso around in an attempt to get at the hook-nosed man. "I'LL BEAT YOU SO FAST YOU'LL THINK YOU'RE SURROUNDED! TRY ME!" The man in front of him only nodded with amusement.

Only a second after Eds last sentence, the double doors with wire mesh in the glass windows burst open. In strode a woman who looked irritable and angry, and she went straight up to the man who insulted him.

"Severus! What is going on here?" screamed the lady. The tight bun in her hair unraveled a little, making her look slightly disheveled. "I've just received word from one of the suits of armor, saying that we've captured intruders- who killed no less than three Dementors!"

"No less? Are you not sure how many?" said the sallow man- apparently named Severus.

"Yes, well- we could only find three full bodies- but there was a stray limb or two- you know how the Dementors prefer to devour the bodies of their own."

"I see; but if you must know, Professor McGonagall, these are the two intruders the armory has mentioned you about. I don't see why they haven't been turned in to the Ministry yet. Truly, I don't think either of them- at least, this one, is Black. He's got a spit-fire attitude and is very childish." Severus motioned to Ed, who was still growling with distaste. "Look at his eyes."

McGonagall gave slight gasp, but regained herself quickly.

"Oh my- Werewolves do have golden irises- but only a tint, not entirely golden." She leaned forward a little, as if to inspect him like he was a caged animal.

"Back off, lady!" Ed snarled.

McGonagall ignored him and turned back to Severus. "I shall take this up with the Headmaster; please assist me with escorting them to his office, Severus." She gave a wry smile. "But have enough sense to knock him out before you unbind him."

The taller man scowled, and whipped the stick he held upwards. Suddenly, Ed couldn't move, which wasn't so different from earlier, but even his teeth were clamped together! The older lady named McGonagall smoothed out her hair and pulled off his covers, and pointed at him with a stick in similar shape and form as the other persons. He waved it, and Ed was held up in the air- he was floating. There was in no way that this was possible.

The elder lady flicked the stick she held, and rope-like vines shot out and curled around Lings body. Automatically, Ling sprung from his bed, only to be grappled by the vines. The knife he held clattered to the ground as the vines as constricted his hold on it.

Ed and Ling cursed and yelled for them to release them- at least, Ling did. Eds jaw was still shut tight, but he made incomprehensible noises that, if you listened closely, could be heard as a long string of cuss words.

After much yelling and the turning heads of paintings and suits of armor, and even one of the two adults telling them to shut up, they had finally made it outside of the Headmasters office. Many figures from different paintings crowded in different ones to catch a glimpse at the unexpected visitors.

"Is that one an Oriental, my dear?"

"Oh Frederick; nowadays it's rude to call them so! I believe those children call them- um, what's the word… 'Asians'."

"That sounds much ruder! Sure, the continent may be called Asia, but they can be different, no?"

"Yes, it does, Frederick dear, but we can't criticize the new lingo of this century if we don't even recognize it. Oh, but to take our mind off that, the other one has such pretty eyes! If only he was as tall as the other one…"

Edward shot a glare at the couple dressed in Rococo era dress and garb disdainfully, daring her to say anything further.

"I fear that I may have insulted him!" cried Penelope, prodding at her tall wig to keep it in place.

"It seems that we have not held our tongues! Make haste, Penelope! There's a space in the Flower-Frogs portrait over there!" Frederick guided Penelope to another painting, which was closer to the Headmasters office.

The two middle-aged adults floated them into the office, going up the stairs first. The older lady rapped on the door with one knuckle, saying,

"Headmaster, we've brought you the two from this morning." McGonagall slowly pushed open the door, not wanting to interrupt any work Dumbledore might be doing. In fact, he was not. Instead, he was playing with a T-shaped stick and twirling it to make it fly around the room. "Sir, my apologies, but I hardly think that you should be playing with toys. Shouldn't you be going over the student files?"

"Oh Minerva; I'll do those later. Now…" He looked towards the two boys they held captive. "Well, I recognize the two from this morning. The blonde one tried to punch Severus in the face. But I hardly think that holding them up like this would be polite."

"But sir, what if they-" said Snape, only to be interrupted.

"Nonsense! But I do think that the longer they're held like that, the more aggravated they become." The old man smiled and gestured towards Ed, who was flailing around like a caterpillar, and Ling, who was chewing on one of the rope-like vines.

"My apologies." Said the two who held the teenagers captive. Just a second after, said teenagers dropped and rolled onto their knees. Snape and McGonagall would've thought that they'd attack, but they did no such thing.

After seeing these people perform some kind of Alchemy- with no common reactions that Alchemy usually brings, Edward became wary of them. After all, he'd never seen this kind of Alchemy before- and it definitely wasn't Alkahestry, as it shared much the same reactions as did Alchemy. What were these people capable of? The greasy-haired man had shot a red beam at Ling, effectively knocking him out, and bound all his limbs, and even his jaw into a rigid pose. The stern looking lady made him float in the air, and entangled Ling in vines.

"Hello, I'm Albus Dumbledore; it's nice to meet you… er…" the one with the excessively long beard stood and held out a hand to Edward. He took it tentatively, and felt that telling his name in equivalent exchange would be best.

"Edward Elric." Ed steeled his expression into a sturdy look, hoping to pass himself off as strong. But the elderly man just smiled and chuckled, moving his hand in the direction of Ling.

"Ling Yao." But he didn't shake his hand, but instead went for his own country's customs and bowed at a ninety degree angle. This confused Dumbledore a bit, but he nevertheless walked around his desk to bow to Ling as well.

His purple robes swished as he walked back around his desk, the silver stars at the hem moving around like shooting stars.

"Well," said he, taking on a more solid voice. "let's get to business." The man he called Severus, and the one he called Minerva stood on one side of the desk, fading into the background, but observing everything.

"Would you two kindly tell us why you were trespassing upon our grounds?" Edward couldn't answer this- we, he guessed he could, but he wouldn't. How would he say that they'd gotten swallowed by a fat, immortal monster, and a few bright flashes later, he was landing face-first into the dirt?

But… there was a forest by them.

Well then, it's time for a cover-up. He steeled his voice, using his confidence and cautiousness.

"We got lost on the way home, and we stumbled into the woods."

"Without running into danger?" said the old man, his eyes flickering. "But there are centaurs, acromantula, hippogriffs, thestrals, trolls, and werewolves…" Dumbledore shifted his eyes, looking at the gold in Edwards own.

"There's no way you could have gone through the Forbidden Forest without stumbling into some sort of danger- especially when the centaur herd is always on alert to intruders of the forest." Said Dumbledore. "Were you bitten?"

Bitten by what?

"Wha- huh?" sputtered Ed, not knowing what he was supposed to be bitten by.

"Bitten. Were you bitten by a werewolf? Or…" said Dumbledore, taking in the look of surprise that broke free from Edward's mask. "do you not know what I'm speaking of?"

Not a movement, not a sound, but merely an inquiring look; as if he had nothing to hide. That's what Edward has done, but it did not fool the bearded man before him. Both teenagers kept silent, not knowing how to respond. Finally, after a lengthy silence that no one had dared to break, Albus Dumbledore sighed. He was getting too old for this.

"Very well. Minerva, please secure these two boys a place in this school- preferably as students."

"But sir! These two were-"

"intruding upon our grounds without our knowledge, let alone us knowing what their intent was, but it can't be helped. I have a feeling it won't do any good to inform the Ministry." Replied Dumbledore. He walked around to her, and leaned in to her ear. "But this way, we can learn more about the two before doing anything. Although, I have a good feeling about them." He smiled, and brought out two empty rolls of parchment, writing the names of the two down. He scribbled down few words for information, and handed the scrolls of parchment to them, and provided a bottle of ink and a second quill for Ling.

"Fill those out."

Ed looked down at his, reading the top. 'Student Record'. Uh… What?

"Hey, old man! What do you mean – 'Student Record'? I'm not going to go to some school- I've already got stuff to do damn it!" Ed jumped up from his seat, yelling obscenities.

"Well, child," said the hook-nosed man standing next to the bespectacled woman. "you can either fill those out and be a student, or you can be turned in to the government on crimes on trespassing and attempted assault."

"I can take on you stick-waving shitheads any time!" Ed threw his hands up in the air.

"Oh?" The pale, slick-haired man waved the stick in his hand, and Ed hung in the air by his left ankle. "And what will you do if our Aurors dangle you around like this?"

Ed twisted and turned, swinging from side to side like a vine.

"Hey! Hook-nosed bastard! Let me down from here!" He kept yelling, with Ling trying to pull him down, when he leapt for Snape.

Ling clenched his fist and drove it into the man's stomach, effectively using the force to send him flying into the wall.

"Hey, we aren't here to go to school, or be taken prisoner. We have to get something done." He said simply.

"Well I'm afraid you'll simply have to wait. You see, Mister Yao, and Mister Elric, there are many of us-" Dumbledore adjusted his starry hat. He gestured to the lady, the man, and himself. "in the castle. Wizards and witches, that is. I myself am quite a powerful wizard, but alas, I cannot always change trouble into fortune- As with your refusal to become students of the school."

You see, things will be much easier if you just enroll; you'd also be able to gain vast amounts of knowledge from our library, and our classes. I will not ask how you two have come here, or even what you are here to do. It's a compromise, so to say."

Ed decided not to say anything about 'wizards and witches', as it was obvious that these were common terms, looking at how the man acted. His ears perked up at the word library. A library is always good- books don't lie to you unless they were written that way- and they don't lie specifically because it's you. Books were trustworthy. However- did he really have time to go to a school? No. He didn't. He had to get back to where he was before- to help Alphonse, and continue with whatever the hell he has to do. Ling as well.

"In fact," said Ling. "if you can beat both of us in a one shot duel- that is, only one move per person –we'll attend this school of yours and do as you say. However, if we win, you tell us where we are, and we can go along on our merry way without interference! How about that?" Ling said cheerfully. He grinned, knowing that he and Ed were experts at fighting. "That's Equivalent Exchange, isn't it pipsqueak?"

Ed looked from Ling, to Dumbledore, wondering how in the world it would be Equivalent Exchange. It was two against one, not to mention that the 'one' was an old man! He was about to ask Ling about this, but it was as if the Xingese Prince read his mind.

"Just trust me- this guy is a lot more powerful than you think. He did say himself that he was pretty strong." Ling whispered. This was one of his strong points. Ling is extremely observant, and very shrewd. He manipulates situations to his liking, and maybe if he was right about Dumbledore being strong, then this might be the only way to get off scot-free. For if they ran away, wouldn't Dumbledore stop them with that weird Alchemy if he was so powerful?

Ed and Ling turned back to the smiling old man, and nodded.

"Alright then." chuckled Dumbledore. "Give me your best shot."

Edward clapped his hands, and transmuted a part of the stone floor into large hands to catch hold of the wizened elder. At the same time, Ling dashed forward, aiming a strong kick to his ribs. But neither of these attacks hit him; instead, they crashed into a shield that shone blue on impact.

"Protego."

Edward looked closely, and saw that the elder was holding a stick carved from an elder tree.

"Now, gentlemen," Said Albus Dumbledore. "I do believe that we all used our three shots. I win." He handed the two rolls of parchment back to Ed and Ling, and they grudgingly each took a quill and scribbled their names down at the bottom first. As if by magic, there was a sweep of light across the paper, and their basic information was written down.

The rolls of parchment now each bore an ink drawing of themselves, but their birthdates were no longer 1899 and 1900. Edward's birth year, according to the parchment, was now 1977, and Ling, apparently not born in 1900 anymore, but in 1978… What? Dumbledore gently took back the rolls of parchment, automatically happy that he has two more students, as teachers normally do.

"Well, school doesn't start for about another month or two; perhaps I'll room you two with one of my other students." He said. "Now, if you could point out where you come from…" Dumbledore held out a map of England, and a globe to them.

Edward examined the globe, while Ling read the map.

"Hey… Our countries aren't on here."

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After fiddling through his birthday presents sent by his friends, Harry noticed a small asparagus green envelope with a loopy black scrawl on the front, stating his address. Curious, he opened it up, to find that it was from Hogwarts. What could this letter be for? He had already gone through the first letter from Hogwarts.

To Harry Potter,

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has decided that two new transfer students will house with you until September first, when the school term starts. We are sorry for any troubles that this event may cause. Please show this letter to you parent/guardian so that they may know.

Deputy Headmistress and Transfiguration teacher,

Professor Minerva McGonagall

Two transfer students? Here? To his house? Harry was perplexed. Did Hogwarts even get transfer students? No matter, as Harry decided to leave it until the morning.

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Harry slept in the next morning, and found that the Dursleys were already sitting around the kitchen table. Uncle Vernon was raving about some escaped convict on the news, and paid him no mind. Harry helped himself to a piece of toast, and suddenly remembered the letter from Hogwarts about the transfer students through his sleepy stupor.

"Oh, um, Uncle Vernon-"

"What, what, boy?"

"I've got a letter from-" Harry nearly forgot that he wasn't supposed to say 'Hogwarts' in he house. "-from my school, and you have to read it. Here." He held out the parchment, and the fat, pink man known as his uncle snatched it away from him and unfolded it.

"Yadda yadda… two new transfer students will house with you until September first… yadda ya- WHAT?" yelled Uncle Vernon, repulsed at the fact he'd have to house another freak under his roof for over five minutes. "I am not going to have another one of your freakish people under this roof! Let alone two! We have enough trouble with you in this house, we don't need any more!" Before Harry could say anything, the doorbell rang, effectively distracting Uncle Vernon from yelling at Harry.

He stalked over, not noticing Dudley stuff two of Vernons waffles down his throat, and opened the front door.

"Who is it?"

"Ni Hao!" Harry saw a black haired boy, with thin eyes, and a young, cheerful face. He wore a low ponytail at the base of his neck, tied up with a white ribbon. He wore a garb much like the Chinese kung-fu uniforms that Harry saw in movies, and angled, white Chinese slippers adorned his feet.

"Who are you?" Uncle Vernon sputtered, not used to seeing foreign people on his doorstep.

"Ling Yao, nice to meet you! And this is Edward Elric." Harry saw his arm propped on something, but he couldn't see what, as Uncle Vernon was too big to see around. Ling invited himself in, brushing Vernon to the side and coming into the house. Right behind the Asian man was a short, blonde boy, his hair tied back into a braid. He wore black slacks and combat boots with red soles, and his white dress shirt was only half-tucked in. Couple along with this bored expression; he was the epitome of laziness.

"Listen, you two-" Uncle Vernon huffed. "I'd rather not have two more weirdos under my roof, so if you could just…" He made brushing motions with his hands, obviously saying: "Shoo!"

"Well, I'm sure the letter you received at least implied that you have no say in the matter. We're staying, and I'd rather not waste effort by trying to find a hotel." Said the blonde boy, holding out a hand to Uncle Vernon. Uncle Vernon took hold of his outstretched hand and gave a small shake to his arm. "Edward Elric."

Aunt Petunia puttered up to them, always pleased by having guests that at least seem normal. She asked their names, and was very surprised when Ling bowed, which surprised everyone else but Edward and Dudley. Edward, because he already knew about it, and Dudley because he was too busy gobbling down pancakes and waffles.

Harry said nothing as Aunt Petunia ushered them over to the breakfast table, fetching two extra chairs and sitting them down on one side of the table, moving her chair to sit by Uncle Vernon. Harry sat across from the two new guests, and eyed them curiously. He's never seen somebody with gold eyes before or somebody in kung-fu clothing. Might as well talk to them.

"Hello, I'm Harry Potter." He extended his hand over the kitchen table, shaking both Lings and Edwards hands. Aunt Petunia was cooking up some extra pancakes and waffles, and Uncle Vernon was bringing in the newspaper from the porch.

"Ling Yao."

"Edward Elric."

Aunt Petunia had finally realized that Ed and Ling must be one of 'Harry's folk', and started to ignore them, deciding that being outright rude whilst they stay with them wouldn't be the best idea. So did Uncle Vernon. However, Dudleys little brain could not process such a complicated thought, and metaphorically, his brain just went: "Eh. What the hell." And shrugged.

"Harry, show those two to their room- the last bedroom." Said Aunt Petunia, covering up her bitterness for the three being wizards, but more so for Harry. Harry led Edward and Ling up to the fourth bedroom, the second smallest in the house, with Dudley's being the largest, since he owned the most possessions.

He'd never been in the fourth bedroom before; Dudley had begged his parents not to let him in, should he mess it up, as Dudley planned to hoard his possessions there. On the dork, hardwood floor lay a red, white, black, and (barely any) pink Bokhara suzani Persian rug, imbued with a design of pomegranates. The walls were a creamy eggshell-like white, with a border of burgundy near the top. The ceiling was low, and the single source of electrical light in the room was an iron standing lamp, the shade made out of waxy paper.

There wasn't anything in the room but a closet to one side with metal doors, the lamp, a small bed, and a dark brown end table right next to it.

Harry embraced the change these guests brought him. Since these people are magical, it could just make his life at Privet Drive slightly more bearable. There was only one bed in the room, but there were multitudes of metal hangers and soft, downy blankets in the closet. Perhaps Harry could help them fashion a small bed out of the many blankets for now.

"Sorry there's no bed… Didn't think you'd be over in just a day-"

"It's alright." Said the blonde boy, Edward, Harry recalled. This was the first thing besides the boys own name that Harry had heard from him. "I can make one myself." Edward proceeded to rip the metal folding doors of the closet off it's hinges, and took off all of the metal hangers, much too many to hold in two hands, even four. So Ling and he took them off and made small trips from the center of the room and back, and after five trips, three to Ling, and two to Edward, all the hangers were in the middle of the floor. Now, Edward started taking the several piles of blankets, each stacked several feet high, and placed them on top of the hangers.

Them ripping the closet doors off was too surprising for Harry, but he didn't care much, except for the worry that they'll get in trouble from Uncle Vernon, 'decimating' his house. But Harry didn't stop them; in fact, he was quite curious as to what they would do. Once all the blankets, hangers, and the metal doors were in a neat pile, Edward clapped his hands, and shoved them onto the stack.

Rippling waves of energy shuddered down Harry's skeletal frame. It astonished Harry, seeing blue light; in jagged forms much like a softer kind of lightning distort the view of the pile of metal and cloth. Edward stood stock still, keeping his hands on the pile. However, as the heap of textiles and metal lay there, they started to change. At first, only swaying forms, but then they melded together, separated, changed shape, sizes, and stretched. All the metal reformed itself into a sort of skeletal frame, rectangular and standing on four legs. Once it had finished reforming, Harry could see that it was a bed frame. As if unfolding from a ball only a foot in diameter, the mattress flung out above it and landed perfectly on top. He hadn't noticed anything about the cloth until now.

Interesting; this stranger had used magic that Harry had never seen before, and created a simple, queen size bed, the mattress just a tad large for the frame.

"There we go!" Edward wiped his hands against each other, as if to dust off nonexistent dirt. He turned to Ling. "I call dibs on the other one; it has a blanket." And he rushed off to claim the bed his. In this case, marking his own territory by grabbing a nearby marker and writing 'E.E.' on the wall above it.

"That's fine." Said Ling. "That means I get the bigger- Damn thisthingisuncomfortable! Let's switch!" Ling jumped off the bed, which was lumpy in places and a bit too firm.

"I had to make the mattress smaller by increasing the mass of the mattress. Don't jump on it; working with that shitty metal from the hangers was bad enough; if I didn't rip off the doors, shrapnel would be flying everywhere." Said Edward. "Hey- what the hell- get off!" Ling had attempted to climb onto Edward's bed, hoping to push him off and get the more comfortable bed to himself.

"Aw… you don't love me short-stack?"

"WELL SQUINTY-EYES, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY IMAGINE WHY I DON'T! I'M NOT SHORT- NOT FLEA SIZED- NOT TINIER THAN AN ATOM! STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"But I never said that…"

Harry looked from the bed that Edward created to the bickering pair of friends. Harry was curious, so he asked the question.

"How did you create that bed?" Harry gestured towards it. "I mean- I didn't see you use a wand, so you couldn't have Transfigured it- how'd you do it?"

The two quieted, just looking at Harry in an inquisitive manner. Suddenly, they both suddenly put their hand to their chins; hand on the inner elbow, as if deep in thought.

"Hm… How to say it…" grumbled Ling.

"It's like-" said Ed.

"It's the-"

"the family trade." They both finished. Then they both started talking at the same time, elaborating once seeing Harry's questioning expression.

"Like one of those family businesses-"

"Or maybe like the highest position from a father to a son, like me-"

"Like, a tradition-"

"Like a family funeral home."

Harry could barely pick out any words besides those listed above, but nevertheless listened to what they were trying to say.

"A… funeral home?" Harry repeated. Both teenagers sitting in front of him nodded vigorously. He decided to change the subject, wanting to avoid going back into the living room to end up seeing Dudley. "So… How old are you two?"

"Sixteen." Said Ed.

"Fifteen."

…What? Okay, so- this kid, only about the same height as Harry, was three years older than him? Moreover, he was a year older than somebody who looked seventeen?

"That's… surprising. I've turned thirteen just recently."

But all Ed heard was 'surprising'. Which insinuated that he did not think that they were as old as they were. Which insinuated that he thought that he was either younger or older.

Which obviously meant that Harry had called Edward short. Tiny, even.

"HEY- WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE KEEPS AN APHID FOR A PET?"

Ling had grabbed both of Ed's arms and hoisted him off the ground to prevent him from attacking Harry. Harry, who hadn't known about Edward's height complex, stood there perplexed, and flinched when the blonde had screamed at him.

"Geez… You can't just start jumping on people you just met." Said Ling. "Especially when you're too short to do so." He let him go, and the young man whipped around, trying to kick Ling in the face.

"Don't. Call. Me. SHORT!"

"The only thing shorter than you is your temper!" laughed Ling.

Harry heard loud, hurried thuds in the hallway, so he clapped his hands over his ears and moved out of the way.

"Shut up and stop yelling! You freaks better keep quiet or I'm kicking you out!" hollered Uncle Vernon, his fat face red with anger. Instead of looking scary, he just looked absolutely hilarious- he was comparable to a tomato! Unfortunately, Edward Elric was already pissed off; and having two angry people in one room never results in a good thing. This was no exception.

"Well, if we're going to be loud; There's a sound I want you to hear, and it's-" Smack.

Ed clenched his left hand and drove it into the side of Vernons face, leaving an ugly bruise forming. Of course, with Uncle Vernon being Uncle Vernon, he does not stand down in a physical fight. But being a parent and an adult, he'd rather not hit people. But in fact, it was more satisfying to take away something they want, but he didn't know what the new 'guests' liked, so the answer was simple.

Kick them out.

And out they went, with Vernons meaty hands catching the scruff of Harrys and Eds collars in one, and Ling in the other. Ling posed no fight, as he'd rather not complicate matters. Vernon Dursley threw them out the door, and slammed it shut, wishing dearly that they'd never have to come back.

.

.

A/N:

For those of you who over think things by ridiculous degrees, to prevent annoying questions, I shall say it now. Ling and Ed will not be in a relationship. I don't see how that jokingly saying 'Aw, don't you love me?' automatically means that love will bloom. God.

Sorry I stopped the chapter there, but the story itself is about 16 pages, and I don't feel like setting my own goals too high for word count.

About the stupefy spell... In the books, the spell does not always yield the same result. Stupefy victims have been knocked down, knocked unconscious, merely frozen in place, or sent flying through the air. It sounds like a kind of unreliable spell, if you ask me.

Thought I'd still use Penelope and Frederick. They're pretty fun to write.

I couldn't figure out how to write this chapter the way I wanted, so I just winged it.

I decided to postpone Aunt Marge's arrival a bit- so that Ed and Ling can actually get to Privet Drive.

When I was writing, I found that it was in a sort of slightly different style than when I wrote The Hero… Which… really wasn't too long ago. I've been reading a lot more, so perhaps I was influenced by the books I read. I'm going to try and make this story different enough from the book, because I had problems with that in the first one, because I wasn't taking my time with it.

"There's a sound I want you to hear, and it's-" ~Nightcrawler ^_^ That's where I got it from. If I remember correctly, I think it was Nightcrawler from Marvel Comics.

Chinese:

Ni Hao – Hello

I'm sorry that I uploaded this so late, for those of you who read The Hero, and were expecting the fic in few days time; but it's out now! I was seriously held up by a bunch of stuff- and I now have a little more free time. :D