Author: Hella PM
Set after the events of POISON. Inuyasha wonders what the big deal is about those three little words, and why everyone cares that Sesshoumaru hasn't said them.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Inuyasha & Sesshomaru - Words: 1,979 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 19 - Published: 12-18-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6565012
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: For KeikoAkai on YouTube, another most excellent Inucest vidder. As requested, some more Inu/Sess goodness. . .though quite heavy on the fluff. Just a little tidbit for those wanting some 'after' after POISON. Happy holidays everyone!
"Wait, what? He's never told you he loves you?"
"Ever. Not even after you've, uh. . ."
"If you do that hip thrust thing at me again I'm going to break them both. Fair warning, you bastard monk."
"All right, all right." Miroku shook his head in resignation. "I'm just saying, it's odd. Freakishly so. Wait—have you ever said it to him?"
"Well. . ." Scratching his cheek, Inuyasha avoided his friend's curious gaze. He coughed. "Maybe."
Flicking a pretend tear away from the corner of his eye, the monk slung an arm around Inuyasha's shoulders as they wandered through town.
"You're adorable. So mistreated. So unfair. Shall I call him out on his neglect of you?"
"Fuck off," the hanyou grunted, embarrassed and irritable. "It's not like I care or anything."
Miroku looked at him in disbelief. "You deceitful swine. Don't think you can lie to me and get away with it. You always pull an unfortunate face and your cheeks go all red." He'd probably have continued in that vein for a while, but someone grabbed his attention. "Hina-san! May I borrow your wisdom a moment, please?"
"Of course, Miroku-sama," the girl said with a smile. Her eyes swung from the monk to Inuyasha and back curiously. "Have you been embarrassing Inuyasha? He's all red."
Goddamnit. Slapping the arm away from his shoulders Inuyasha turned to return to his hut, but Miroku was faster and snagged his sleeve before he could make a clean getaway.
"Hina-san, I have a hypothetical question for you," the monk started pleasantly. She nodded. "Say you're in a relationship with a man. Not just any relationship mind you, but a. . .ahem, intimate relationship. For some months now. But the male in question has never vocalised his feelings toward you."
Hina frowned. "Are you having marital problems with Sango-san? I don't like her much but I still don't think you should be talking to me about them."
Miroku stiffened. "Not me—hypothetical question! Don't they teach you anything in this damn village?"
Inuyasha started smiling. "Yeah Miroku, sure. Don't go projecting your insecurity or anything."
"Big words, Inuyasha. You're probably exhausted now; go have a lie down."
"You're such a dick."
"You two!" Hina snapped, scowling now. "What did you want? I have things to attend to. Hiroshi-san needs the bread baked by sunset, and I'm already behind! Make it fast!"
The monk huffed. "All right!" he snapped back. "If for the last eight months you've been having frequent sex with a man who won't tell you he loves you, what do you do?"
Hina's jaw dropped. Then after a second's consideration, she blinked suspiciously. "Well—well if he hasn't married me, and doesn't love me, what am I doing having sex with him? I'd have no more to do with him! The horrid brute. Good afternoon to both of you." With that she stomped off, clutching her sack of grain to her chest like it was her virginity to be prised away at any given moment.
Turning back to Inuyasha, Miroku crossed his arms in satisfaction. "This is why I'm concerned. That—that youkai is manipulating your tender feelings in order to freely plough your—"
Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha struck the monk's windpipe hard enough to make him choke on his words, and walked away.
Really, what the fuck was the big deal? Neither of them were into that touchy-feely shit where they talked about their feelings all the time and got all sappy in public. It wasn't Sesshoumaru being an asshole or anything.
Grumbling to himself, brows drawn in a scowl, Inuyasha tucked his hands into his sleeves and marched over to find Sango. She'd give him the truth.
"He's never said it? Ever? Not even during. . .you know, sex?"
Inuyasha silently counted to ten before replying.
"No Sango, not even then."
She made a thoughtful sound in her throat and adjusted the blanket around the sleeping child she cradled. "Well, he's not exactly talkative, I suppose. Is he. . .well, is he attentive in bed?"
Inuyasha blinked. "Attentive—you mean. . .? Ah fuck, Sango, what does that have to do with anything? Yes! Fuck!"
"Fuck indeed," Sango replied, and laughed right in his face. "Just checking. Look, if it's not a big deal to either of you, it shouldn't be anyone else's business. Let my dear husband think what he likes."
Inuyasha's ears flicked uncertainly before he confessed, "Hina said she'd get rid of a guy who didn't tell her. I don't know about relationships and stuff." After a few seconds of silence, he burst out with, "When did Miroku tell you?"
Sympathy showed in her soft brown eyes. "There's no guidebook on relationships, Inuyasha. What's all right for one might not suit the other. Personally I don't think Sesshoumaru would ever get involved with someone he didn't care deeply about. It seems like it'd be a waste of time and effort otherwise. Am I correct?"
Inuyasha nodded jerkily.
"There, then," she said kindly. "But you could always just ask him, you know."
He snorted at that. "Oh yeah, looking forward to that discussion. And—and I don't even need to hear it, anyway. This is all Miroku's bullshit he made up in his own head."
Sango nodded and easily went along with that, but even Inuyasha in his limited understanding of women could see the glimmer of concern in her eyes when he left to head home. Was it some weird insecure human thing? No one had ever told Inuyasha they loved him, except for his mother when he was young. He'd gotten along just fine, hadn't he? Some things you just don't need to hear.
Except, apparently, for when you did. When without the words it was. . .it was like to them it was only real when those words were exchanged, or something.
That didn't sit well with Inuyasha at all, and it wasn't until hours later that he finally asked himself the question at the heart of the matter.
What if Sesshoumaru. . .didn't?
He cared, cared about Inuyasha more than anyone. He knew that better than he knew his own name. But love? Maybe that was something else. Sure, they'd kind of been through hell, and nearly killed themselves trying to save each other on a few occasions, but that just went with the territory. Inuyasha knew how he felt, but beyond that first time he'd never told Sesshoumaru again. Didn't seem like there was any point, really.
Sesshoumaru had never said a word about love. Or, really, not even caring. It was always just actions before words. Until then, Inuyasha had thought he didn't need them.
He stayed up well into the night, hunched up near the fire in his hut, lost in thought. He was alone; Sesshoumaru had gone to get some kind of youkai whetstone for his sword from Toutousai and wasn't due back for another day or two. There'd been no reason for Inuyasha to go as well, and he had his own shit to take care of, anyway. He, Rin and Jaken had been planting wards and activating spells around the village outskirts for Miroku all day. It had been at the end of all that when the monk had asked the question.
Eventually tiredness won out over his brooding, and Inuyasha staggered off to bed, not even bothering to crawl under the blankets. He just turned his head to the side and watched the flames flickering through the woven bamboo slats of the curtain, breathing in the fading scent of the youkai lord that still clung to the blankets.
It did occur to Inuyasha some time before he dropped off to sleep that he was pining like a total girl.
He still swapped his pillow for Sesshoumaru's.
Inuyasha half-woke from a troubled sleep to the sensation of hands pushing at his hips, feeling the blanket being tugged from under his stomach.
Grumbling sleepily, he gusted a huge sigh and let it be taken from him, instinctively budging over as a large, warm mass settled in against his side with the ease of familiarity. The thick blanket then settled over them both.
"Sesshoumaru," he murmured, already sinking back into sleep. "You back?"
A huff of amusement. "It would appear so," he whispered. "Go to sleep."
Turning his head, Inuyasha felt the smoothness of Sesshoumaru's cheek brush against his lips. "You said you'd take longer."
"I was in a hurry to return," was the low reply, arms encircling Inuyasha's waist. Long fingers stroked his stomach in a soothing, rhythmic motion that had the hanyou dozing again almost immediately.
"Missed me," he breathed sleepily, a ghost of a smile curving his lips.
"My instincts told me to make haste. Miraculously, you aren't injured or dying." The dry humour in Sesshoumaru's soft explanation didn't quite hide the relief beneath it, nor could he hide the need to press his hands to unblemished skin, assuring both of them that they were together. Healthy, whole, and safe. It would take them both a while before they could let go of that particular instinct.
Inuyasha just gave a slumberous sigh and pushed his nose into Sesshoumaru's hair, feeling an icy foot sneak its way between his ankles to leech his body heat.
"Safe and sound," he agreed, his hoarse with sleep. "You?"
"No trouble. Go back to sleep, foolish hanyou. We can speak in the morning." The gentle rebuke was tempered by the press of a warm mouth against his; a soft, sleepy reassurance. Inuyasha liked it enough to pull Sesshoumaru completely against him, pressing his cold nose to the steady pulse in Sesshoumaru's neck.
"You missed me," Sesshoumaru murmured back in the darkness, pleased.
"Mmm, yeah," was the lazy reply. "I might've."
"Is that why you are sleeping on my pillow instead of your own?"
"Oh yeah. . .swap back." Inuyasha lifted his head groggily, but was pressed back down almost immediately.
"Keep it," Sesshoumaru breathed against his temple. "Sleep well."
They both settled for the night, sharing scent, breath and warmth; limbs tangled beneath the blankets. Just another night really – nothing special about it. But it was as Inuyasha sank almost entirely into dreams that he found himself whispering three little words into the darkness.
"You love me."
There was a surprised pause before Sesshoumaru snorted softly, and Inuyasha felt the long sweep of a warm tongue cross his cheek and temple.
"Very observant of you," he murmured, tender in the warm darkness. "Might I be so bold as to assume—"
"You know I do, dumbass. More than anything." He immediately scrunched his face up in emotional discomfort. "Augh, fuck this touchy-feely shit. Go to sleep."
Inuyasha was rewarded with a soft huff of amusement, but Sesshoumaru didn't reply, instead obediently sinking down into the blankets and pulling him close. So close in fact, that Inuyasha had to shift his head back a little as the youkai lord greedily stole half his pillow, discarding the other one entirely so he could eliminate all distance between them. What a sap.
All the same, Inuyasha's mouth curved upward in the darkness as he drifted off.
Maybe he preferred actions over words, after all.