Author: peacefulsands PM
Zach wakes up on his first morning with Shaun after Jeanne left.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Words: 1,005 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12-19-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6569472
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Written for the prompt - waking next to Shaun on the first morning in their new home.
Disclaimer : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Zach woke slowly, not even opening his eyes as he waited and considered the noise, or rather the lack of, around him. He wondered why, deciding it must be too early, all was quiet, no sounds from Jeanne's room and not a peep yet from Cody. He wondered why he'd woken, when the last time was that he'd woken like this, unhurried and not to the sound of Jeanne's love life or her demands that he look after Cody or fetch food or something to keep him in line and under her control. It was always her or Cody, Cody with his childish needs. In honesty, even when he was exhausted from late shifts, early shifts, running here, there and everywhere and unable to sleep for Jeanne's late night trysts, he'd never once really resented being woken by Cody. At worst, he might have wished there was an alternative, that Cody actually had someone else that he wasn't afraid to come to like this. Jeanne's reactions were unpredictable for the little boy, although years of experience meant Zach generally had more idea which way she'd swing at any time.
It was easier to be alone than to bring anyone else into the turmoil, than to unsettle Cody anymore than the kid already was. Thoughts of Tori niggled at the back of his mind, then thoughts of tall, of solid muscle, of a deeper voice, of Shaun. Memories began to trickle back, the previous day, the argument and then 'settling' with Jeanne, of her driving away and leaving him with Cody . . . Cody and Shaun. God, what had he done? What had he allowed her to do? Shaun to do? He shivered as the thought that he'd never wanted to bring this . . . this mess down on Shaun's shoulders, never meant to put Shaun in this position.
More awake now, he felt the sun on his face, the warmth and light, making him squint and squeeze his eyes tighter shut before the thought occurred that there shouldn't be sun in his face. He cracked his eyes a fraction. Sensory overload at the bright light he was facing brought him more awake, finally aware of the weight of an arm over his side, a large hand spread, warm and reassuring across his stomach.
For a moment, he wondered who and where before the rest of his thoughts of the previous day rushed back in in their entirety; thoughts of Shaun and Cody . . . and Jeanne. . . and Cody and Shaun . . . and Jeanne leaving, leaving him with Cody and . . . and Shaun still there, a solid reassuring presence at his side, an arm round his shoulder pulling him closer.
His breath hitched as the memories came back, the reality poured in. He could feel the hand spanning his stomach begin to move, a gentle movement . . . a caress, nothing in it beyond comfort. A shift in the tilt of the mattress and the warm presence behind was closer, the press of dry lips to his neck and shoulder, "It'll be okay, we'll figure it out, Zach. I promise," the words were a soft murmur.
He shifted rolling over to look at Shaun, feeling himself pulled in tighter, closer, a kiss to his forehead, his temple. He wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Let's just enjoy this moment a little longer," Shaun murmured, "I'm pretty sure Cody'll be awake before long, so I guess we'll have to get up soon."
Zach hummed an agreement into Shaun's neck, savouring the feeling of being at peace, warm inside . . . the feeling that he mattered, he was important to someone. For an instant he felt guilty, he'd been important to Jeanne and Cody, Jeanne and their Dad ever since Mom died. He burrowed closer to Shaun, felt as Shaun's hand drifted up and down his back.
"I'm guessing Cody's going to be an early riser," Shaun asked softly.
"He normally is," Zach replied equally quiet, "Sorry . . . I mean . . . he – he wakes up early and he'll c-come looking for me."
"Don't be sorry," Shaun reassured. "That's as it should be. I wouldn't want it any other way."
Shaun cut whatever Zach had been about to say short with a smirked 'Hush' and a kiss to the lips. A million and one reasons why Shaun should be angry or upset battered at the edges of his consciousness, but couldn't take hold for the reality of being here, warm and treasured in Shaun's arms. Shaun's voice broke through the torrent again, "I'm so grateful that you're here with me, you're more than I could ever have hoped for and whatever you're thinking, whatever reasons are churning you up inside for why this is not going to work, forget them all. You and me, we can do anything, anything that we put our minds to."
Zach relaxed, settling closer and letting his head fall to Shaun's shoulder, one arm sliding across Shaun's waist to hold him close. He let his eyes drift closed again, let himself synch into breathing with Shaun like this was how the world was supposed to be.
It didn't last long before the sound of Cody calling as he made his way from his own room towards theirs had them pulling apart ready to face whatever the rest of the day might bring. It had been enough though, Zach felt ready to face the world, ready to accept his own new world and make it the place he really wanted to live.