|The Parody Of Tesseract
Author: Lady Heston of Bloomingshire PM
The title is the summunary...Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,557 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 01-03-11 - Published: 12-21-10 - id: 6575557
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Well hello there! You might be asking yourself. Who would parody The Tale Of Tesseract and make it into The Parody Of Tesseract? Who would make fun of another person's story?Well... I did.
Declaimer: The material in this story belongs to Maxis. And most of the characters, the plot, the original story belongs to njkilleen.
Ask for me? I mearly own some of the characters and the stupid idea for this.
A load of Grox, Tharians, Scorpak, Chimera, other aliens and people were both phiscally and mentally harmed in the making of this story.
At sector 17Δ CF-3, on Galactic date 3247b6, something materialized. It blasted into our world, streaking through the vacuum of space at faster than the speed of light. It raged through nebulae and exploding stars, heading straight for the Aeron Galaxy. Nothing could stop its course. The object was only 2 feet wide, but it was the most powerful thing in the known universe.
DUN DUN DUN!
A long time after that:
It was a splendid day on planet Thar, the Thar-Star was blazing, the Thar-Clouds were drifting lazily in the sky, the Thar-Cars drifted through the Tharian air carrying busy Tharians on their way to work. Somewhere else little Tharians were already in school learning about being a part of the Tharian community, all in fluent Tharianise.
But there was one Tharian in particular that wasn't up on his feet yet, in fact he was still asleep, snoring into his pillow with no care in the world. It looked like nothing in the world could wake him up. Of course there was always the radio;
'Good morning Thar! It's another great day for the Tharians! My name is Paul and I'll be broadcasting for the next three hours on the Thar radio!' Then the annoying jingle rang out. 'THAR RADIO! THE THING THAT WAKES YOU UP…' SLAP! 'Oh my gosh, just shut up Paul!' Roku absolutely hated that guy, even more than he hated the Grox, but we'll get onto that later…
But oh well, he was awake now and ready to start a new day as a totally awesome Space Captain. It was a very stupid and cheesy name, Roku often said that to people. But deep inside he would never change it for anything else; the cheesiness just gave it that extra bit of epicness tht made him proud to be one.
Roku sat up and stretched his wings yawning, trying to recall why he was here. Oh yes! Now he remembered! He just came back from one of those totally, amazingly, spacetaciolaus missions. This one was on a planet called Lux-5. He was out there chasing space pirates for the whole week; it totally explained why he was so tiered.
Also the 'success party' was to blame, it was a special party that the Tharians had after completing a mission, and succeeding. There was usually a load of drinking, screaming, partying and idiotic-ness involved.
Roku smiled to himself and got out of bed, that was one fun night, he never knew that he would be able to balance The Hypercube on the tip of his nose for a full minute.
A magical glowing cube with many amazing properties that fell from the sky a long time ago (Roku didn't pay much attention in history lessons). The Tharian scientists studied the cube and begun to create amazing new inventions like; flying cars, faster spaceships, cooler game consoles and hamburgers that flew into your mouth with a special type of um… whistle.
The object that made the Tharians what they are now, a SUPER advanced race, capable of standing up to the Grox, their technology putting the other empires to shame.
It also evolved the Tharians themselves, they used to be much scarier than they are now, with big bulging eyes and creepy…batty…wings. Now however, they looked much more bird like, and humanoid as well. They were orange from head to their clawed toes, equipped with a set of wings, hands and legs. Their faces and hands had no feathers on them, looking very human-like.
Thinking that Roku strolled over to the window that was overlooking the great Tharian city, with a wave of his hand the door swung open and he stepped onto the balcony outside. The cool air swooshed and wooshed through his hair and feathers as he stretched his arms over his head.
'Ahh…What a lovely, completely-normal day this will be.' He mused to himself as he took in the view of the city. The huge control tower seemed to reach space itself, Roku was struck with a memory of him and his friends sneaking into that building last night to 'borrow' the Hypercube.
He found that so funny that he started laughing on the spot, how could the Tharian council trust him with the key to the main control tower? Then again the Hypercube was nice and safe again, tucked away in the highest point of the tower. Was it even possible to destroy the Hypercube? It couldn't break could it? It hovered anyway, maybe someone should try eating it just to prove the point.
That thought was so utterly hilarious that Roku doubled over the balcony's edge laughing. As he did so he spotted a female Tharian with two cute little children by her side. The boy looked straight up at him and pulled on his mom's sleeve.
'Mommy! Mommy! Look! It's Capitan Roku!' He squealed happily. The mom didn't pay any attention to him, but the other child looked up with the same exited expression.
'Why is he laughing on the balcony naked mommy?' She asked, at that the mother looked up straight away and spotted Roku, who was still laughing.
She looked up at him with angry expression.
'JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FULL OF YOURSELF DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHRT TO PROUNCE AROUND NAKED DOES IT CAPTAIN!' She screamed at the other Tharian who stopped laughing at once.
'Ooops, sorry I really didn't mean to.' He quickly apologised and dived back into his room: he was sure he had forgotten to do something important today.
Just as Roku went inside his Blackberry rang, he looked at the screen it read: Harko-your best friend REMEMBER?
Roku picked up the phone.
'Yeah, hi its me.'
'Soo… You have to re-fuel your ship's engines remember?"
'Oh yeah, sorry I'm a little bit forgetful today, it must be all that red-bull I drank yesterday.'
'Yeah about that party, why is there a bruise on my left cheek?'
'I think it came from that girl.'
'You know that little girl?'
'She was dressed in a 'I love Groxin Bieber hoodie' and you violently screamed 'I love the Tharnas Brothers' in her face.'
'Oh yeah, I remember now.'
'So Ill see you in five minutes?'
Roku quickly trotted up to his wardrobe and looked through his clothes, not that there was much choice, all black and red uniforms. After picking out his favourite one Roku fixed it on, and with a few adjustments he was done. But before he went he had to get his treasured staff of life.
He walked over to the vault closet and typed in a complicated 4 digit password, then a question popped up on the screen.
'What was your puppy's full name?" It asked, it was a question that only Roku knew the answer to. He smiled and typed in:
'Polly Chubbiculous Cookie-Zanzaroth.' At once the long white staff materialised in front of him.
Roku grabbed it and dashed for the door, he sprinted through the twisting and winding corridors, pushing through the crowd of other Tharians that said stuff like 'Oooh Captain Roku!' and 'I named my hamster after you!'.Roku just ignored them and tried to get to his spaceship as quickly as he could, there was a reason why he was so famous. Roku was one of the VERY few captains to reach the centre of the galaxy, and receive the staff of life that Roku was now using to bash himself through the crowd.
To make the matters worse as Roku turned the corner he was greeted with the people he REALLY didn't want to see…
'O.M.G It's him!' Screamed one of the female Tharians that was standing near one of the doors, there was at least seven more behind her. They all turned to Roku giving him pure, mad, fan-girl looks, accompanied by high-pitched squeals.
'Get him!' Screeched another one and before Roku knew it he was being chased down the corridor by a group of mad girls. Fortunately the door to the main silo was only a few feet away and with a few desperate lunges he burst in through the door and dashed for the ledge and disappeared down the shaft, hearing the annoyed growls from the other Tharians, as they were not practically allowed to go there.
He smiled and turned to his ship: the Tharak, it was a lovely shiny little ship. He stepped under it and pressed the lift beam. 'DNA mached with Captain Roku, access granted.'
And with that Roku was teleported into his ship.
"There is no way the Grox are going to take over this world and force me to run around the galaxy for weeks with two other captains. There's no way were gonna spend a ridiculous amount of time looking for a magical cube. Of all the things... that can't happen. This is just an ordinary day." He thourght.
Yay! Chapter 1! It will gradually start sliding off the original story line...or maby not, I'm not sure yet. Anyway... did you like it? You know what you have to do...