Authors Note: In an attempt to protect the identity of Tessa, I will not use her last name, excuse any plot holes this may cause

4 Years Later

I love birthdays, especially this one. I usually plant a bomb to celebrate a birthday, but this one is special, Tessa's birthday, her eighteenth birthday. Now Pedophilia will not be an issue, but still, Harley will be pissed. I gotta let her down easy, give her the ol' Joker charm that made her fall in love with me. I'll have to let her down gently. I'm off to the party now, I've got some good things in store, HAHAHA.

My new outfit is cool, Harley's old spandex full body suit before she started using the slutty schoolgirl outfit during the Arkham takeover, whore. I've grown quite akin to Joker, he is quite funny, in a sick, demented sort of way, and he's not bad looking either. Too bad that I'm gonna desert the poor man when I get the chance, but it's not like I'll have much to come back too, I won't be accepted as a person because of my developed criminal mind. Countless encounters with Batman and several trips to Arkham won't help my record either. But then again, I could just steal an ID and live off another person's life.

I scheduled the party to have all of her closest friends, or at least what friends I could find off of her computer's memory banks. I got a whole concert set up, and it will have some, let's say surprises that'll please Tessa. I need this to go smooth, but first I need to "rent" a theater first. Let's see for The Wayne Theater in downtown Gotham.

Apparently Joker remembered my birthday, and he's throwing me some kind of "bash". Probably gonna be the same thing he does every year, gives me a nice cake, and has it spray water in my face, its kinda gotten to be his routine, but I act to fall for it every time, I gotta earn his trust even further, even though I've already gotten to be his number 3, other than Harley, but who could replace her?

Got the guests, and a plan to jack the theater, all we gotta do is rappel in through the ceiling, plant some C4, evacuate the place, and throw a big party. It's going to be downright a jolly of a time, I can't wait HAHAHA. Now to get on with the plan, let us hit the theater.

I've been tied up, and drugged, I can't see, but I'm conscious. Dammit Joker, you always do this, every birthday, for both me and Harley. I'm surprised one of his men doesn't kill me in my sleep, they all seem jealous. Odd, the drugs seem to be lasting longer than normal, I guess we are going somewhere far away, like downtown Gotham or something. Why would we go downtown, I must be getting to his heart. Well whatever it is, I'm ready for it.

The plan worked perfect, the presents dropped without harm, and the place evacuated in a second, HAHAHAHAHA. Got all of my actors set, and I can't wait for her to see her special surprise, she's gonna love it! Now Tessa, prepared to be wooed by a Joker.

Regaining my vision now, I'm in a helicopter, but I'm tied up. For some reason, I'm not in my suit. Now its landing, I just gotta keep pretending to be asleep, and they won't notice, the dumb blokes. They are hauling me to a seat in a theater of a sort, with a big moving present box with holes beside me. I hear the Joker saying something about waking up, and I snap into out of fake sleep and into real consciousness.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I yelled enthusiastically

"Oh, you remembered, what's in the box?" Tessa replied to the Joker, who was standing on the stage in front of her, she had front row seats

"You heard her boys, open up her gift!" I ordered as my men opened us the large gift, and there were two people inside

Who are they, they are roughly my age, and I oddly recognize them in a way. They are a boy and a girl, the girl being about my size and having long brown hair, and the boy being much taller than me, and had black hair and glasses. No, it couldn't be them, it was my friends from before Joker got me, it was Bobby and Madison.

I broke down and started crying, I had forgotten everything about myself, and this was a huge blast. I can't believe that Joker would do this for me, I loved him. They were obviously freaking out, but they had grown well, Bobby growing much stronger looking than I thought he ever would and Madison being even prettier than I once thought back when we were in Middle School. This was crazy.

"Where are we! We've been trapped in that box for hours!" Bobby yelled crazily at Joker, red faced and pissed out of his mind

"Don't worry you two are safe here" I said as I stood up and hugged them, as they realized who I was

"Tessa, is that you!" They both seemed to say in unison

"I don't how to explain this, but I was kidnapped by The Joker and am his number 3 goon. God that sounds really stupid." I tried to explain to them

Madison who had not said much of anything was freaking out and panic stricken, as if she was about to die.

"Don't worry guys, he won't hurt you, or else I'll hurt him." I told them very confidently

"Well, I for one am glad for this reunion, but I gotta say, WHAT THE FU-" Bobby started to say, but was cut off by a loud speaker

Tessa seemed pleased, and she looked at me with loving eyes after she saw the two, but now, it's time for the show.

"WELCOME TO TESSA'S 18TH BIRTHDAY SPECTACULAR, PUT ON MY ME, THE ONE AND ONLY JOKER!" I yelled into the Microphone, "LETS GET ON WITH THE SHOW, FIRST UP THE LION TA- WHAT THE!"

There was a crash down from the ceiling, two figures flew through, one man, one woman. Goodie goodie, must be Batman and whatever little side kick he has today. Time to get this show really on the road.

"Well Bats, thanks for coming to this little birthday bash for my good friend" I told him as he finished his descent

"And it's not just him, Mr. J" I heard a familiar voice say

"HARLEY! What is the meaning of this!" I say, more surprised than I had ever been

"I see what you've been doing behind my back, you two timer. You are in love with Tessa!" She said, ever so embarrassing me, turning my white face deep red

WHAT! Joker is in love with me, I mean I had my speculations, but I mean this is a shock. My old friends are staring at me now, but I am surprisingly happy. This has been my dream since I was little, even when I thought he wasn't real, but now I am ready to embrace it, but first I got to defend my love. I cut my friends free and told them to run. I jumped up on stage and prepared for a fight.

"You take Batman, I'll take the jealous bitch." I told him, still kinda flustered

This was gonna be the fight of my life, and I knew it, this was it for my love life. Bats ran at me, and I stepped aside and threw a clothesline, hitting him smack in the jaw, laughing all the way. He kicked back up, and ran at me again, I tried the same maneuver, but he ducked this time, and trip kicked me, and sent me landing hard into the wooden stage. I wouldn't give up this time, not again. I stood back up and took out my pistol and shot, but I knew Batman, he wore bulletproof armor, bullets would only stun. I just needed time to think of my next move.

This was crazy, I never thought I would be doing something like this. Harley tried to do a jumping flip kick at me, but I returned by jumping in the air and kicking her stomach. This knocked her down a little before stood up and sneered. I went on the offense this time by running and throwing a jab at her face, but she blocked and returned a punch to my stomach, but the adrenaline I was feeling was keeping my head off the pain. I land a large punch to her chin and she fell, knocked out. I then ran over to help Joker.

Batman was stumbling about for some reason, but he regained his posture after a while, and Joker and I ran at him and punched him in rapid succession as a team, performing some awesome combo hits on him. He staggered and fell to his knees.

"Wanna do the final hit?" Joker asked me

And I took a big swing, but only to be blocked by another person, but it wasn't Batman, or even Harley, it was Bobby.

"Tessa, I can't let you do this, its wrong!" Bobby said

"No, Bobby, I HAVE TO!" I told him, angry out of my mind

"I didn't want to hurt you, Tessa, but HAH" He said as he delivered a punch to my stomach with such force that it knocked me clear out

WHAT THE HELL! THIS CHILD DARES STRIKER HER! I swung ferociously at him, almost losing my balance out of anger, but Batman grabbed my leg and I tripped. He restrained the both of us, and shipped us off in the Batmobile.

Epilogue

Arkham Asylum, the home of the crazies. We were shipped off here while that kid was treated as a hero. Tessa and I were assigned to the same cell, and we ended up marrying each other in our life sentence. And it was just us, in a padded cell till the end of time, and I loved every minute of it. I guess the bad guys never win, but I'd never have it any other way.