This is the third-weirdest idea I have ever had.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Puyo Puyo or Team Fortress 2. But I'm sure you already knew that.

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Feli stepped carefully, tracing the mystical symbols in the air just as she had practiced. This spell would allow no margin of error. A single misstep, one wrong syllable, the wrong type of magical energy in one line of the runes, and... well, given what the spell was intended to do, failure could mean... well, nobody had ever dared to screw up a spell of this magnitute; there was no point speculating.

All her life had been leading up to this... well, all her life had been leading up to being with Lemres, but this had been revealed as a vital step on that path. This was a most drastic action, one she would not take under any other circumstances, but her divinations could not be wrong, she had checked and re-checked. Thirteen times, for good measure; she had heard horror stories of foolish witches deceived by false visions, and knew from experience that no spell could fool the same person thirteen times. Probably.

Suddenly, the candles' dark flame went out. It's coming! Feli held perfectly still, lest she interfere with the summoning. The smoke from the candles gathered in the circle and coalesced into... Feli frowned. "Aren't eldritch abominations from beyond space and time supposed to look... abominable? You are merely ugly."

It looked like a man... or a stylized image of a man. He wore a bright red military uniform, complete with helmet and grenades. If Feli didn't know better, she might have thought that, somehow, the spell had failed... but no, she had done it perfectly. Every last step. Now that she had addressed it (if, perhaps with less... panache than she was hoping for), it would have to respond.

It looked at her, madness in its eyes. "I. Am. Painis Cupcake."

Feli frowned. "Why do you tell me your name? Surely you know it gives me power over you...? ... You think to subvert my summoning by giving me a false name? Well, I won't fall for it."

"No. I am. Painis Cupcake."

"Hm. If you insist. At least you have a proper incomprehensible name. Now, I have summoned you to-"

"I will eat you."

"You will eat, but not me. The one you are here to eat is-"

"No."

"What... you dare defy me?"

"I will eat you."

"I'd like to see you try." Feli froze. I did not just say that! In that moment, she knew she had erred. It was a taunt, not a proper command, but she knew, that somehow, the magic would subvert itself with those words.

Painis Cupcake grinned maniacally, and with an otherworldly scream, he changed. It was as though he had been dipped in molten metal, only the metal was neon red, somehow. He broke out of the summoning circle's wards, and slithered away, making the most ungodly clicking noises.

Feli stared. She had unleashed a monstrosity upon Primp Town. No matter what happened next, it would be bad.