Author: AmyLeigh88 PM
Both Jesse and Rachel had moved on with their lives in the last ten years. Or at least they thought they had. When they come back into each other's lives and rediscover some feelings never die, will they do something they both regret?Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Jesse sJ. & Rachel B. - Chapters: 33 - Words: 147,435 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 08-17-12 - Published: 01-10-11 - id: 6643567
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Sadly, these characters do not belong to me. If they did, Jesse would return as soon as Jon Groff gets back to the States next week.
Author's Note: So I was listening to Damien Rice's "Accidental Babies" in the car one day and it gave me an idea for a future!St. Berry fic. For those who don't know the song, it's about two people that are in love but are in other relationships while having an affair. I know a lot of people hate cheating (I do too in real-life), but hopefully you'll give it a chance. This is going to be my first attempt at a longer fic. I know where I'm going, I just don't know how long it'll take to get there. Please review and let me know what you think!
It had been ten years since Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James had truly had an actual, honest conversation which was odd considering they both ran in the same circles in New York and they had both been working actors on Broadway for at least the last three of those years.
But first, to understand where their story is going, you have to understand where it's been.
After everything that had happened at the end of Jesse's senior year of high school, when it had come time to move out to California and attend school at UCLA, Jesse had decided that his calling was on the opposite coast of the country.
New York and Broadway were calling him.
He had applied to NYU early his senior year and had been accepted, but when UCLA had given him a full ride he had taken it. It wasn't that his family needed him to have a scholarship in order to attend college, for him it was more of a pride thing to be able to take care of his education on his own without the aid of his parents' money.
When he'd decided that NYU was where his heart truly lay, he'd had to swallow his pride and ask his father and mother for the money to attend school there. He had been offered a partial scholarship but it was still going to cost a lot of money, especially the housing. He had called the admissions office and asked if his spot was still open and after many discussions and phone calls – and begging – they'd welcomed him as a freshman for the Fall 2010 semester.
Jesse shouldn't have been surprised that it had all worked out because that was just the way life went for him. Most of the time anyways. He usually got everything he set his mind to, but he had wondered if this was going to be one of the first of many setbacks for him as he finally reached the real world outside of the high school bubble that he had been living in.
He took his entire freshman year to get to know New York intimately. He wanted to know every nook and cranny that he possibly could because it was his home. He decided that it always would be. Even if he got a job somewhere else, he would only allow it to be temporary because New York was where his heart was. It was like the city lived and breathed inside of him. Sometimes he thought that it was New York that had chosen him, not the other way around.
Life was by no means easy at school. While he spent every minute of his free time out and about in the city, he didn't have a whole lot of free time because of his school load. He knew that college would be a challenge, but he was smart and school had always come easy for him. It still did, but it just required a lot more work to get everything done for his classes.
During his sophomore year, Jesse began auditioning for Broadway and Off-Broadway shows. He knew that the likelihood of him actually being cast right off the bat was slim, but he had never thought that he'd go to audition after audition and only get a couple of callbacks. It had discouraged him. He had questioned whether or not he was truly as talented as he had always believed he was.
He wasn't being arrogant when he would wonder why people that he was clearly better than would get a callback and he wouldn't. Jesse had always thought that he had charm and that je ne sais quoi that drew people to him, but he had wondered if he had lost some of that since he'd left Ohio – and her – behind.
His junior year, he had stopped auditioning altogether and decided to concentrate on his schoolwork, and he had hoped that the time off would help him to become the un-jaded person that he had once been. Performing in school productions and cabarets made him remember why he was doing all of this in the first place.
He also met a girl that year. The first girl – since her – that he had actually wanted to have a second date with. He had dated lots of girls in his first two years in New York, but none that made him want to commit to anything more than the occasional hook-up or a night out.
Isla was the complete opposite of Rachel in almost every single way imaginable which was probably why Jesse was drawn to her because she didn't make him think of the girl that he'd left behind. The girl that made him have so many regrets. Of course, there were the obvious physical differences with her strawberry blond hair, her curvy 5'6'' physique, her porcelain skin and crystal clear blue eyes. But it was more than that. She had so much confidence in not just her talents – she was a writer – but also in who she was. She reminded Jesse of himself in that way. She had tons of friends and she was extremely independent.
Jesse loved who he was when he was with her and she made him believe that he could do anything that he set his mind to because she had faith in him. It wasn't exactly a smooth road for them either though. They hit quite a few rough patches along the way, but they never stayed broken up for long. When it looked like she might get a job in Chicago, Jesse was distraught but then she was offered a job as an Assistant Editor at a children's literature publishing house and she decided to stay. That was when Jesse knew that he really loved her.
They had been together two years when Jesse finally landed his first role, a lead role, in a brand-new Off-Broadway show. Three weeks into the show's run, Jesse proposed to Isla. And even though guys never really dream about their wedding day, he'd always imagined that if he ever did get married it would be in December, but Isla had always dreamed of being a June bride. So in June of the next year, just before the show was to make its move to Broadway, they were married.
That was when Jesse saw Rachel for the first time in years. At least, he thought that he'd seen her. Sometimes he thought that it had just been wishful thinking. The show had been on Broadway for about six months but it was a huge hit and had a rather large fan following. Every night, after the show he and his other cast mates would leave the theater only to have throngs of fans waiting for them outside. He had been one of the last to leave that night and a large crowd was still gathered waiting for him, as he had turned his head, she had looked up and their eyes had locked.
Jesse had felt his smile slip a bit as he felt a shock wave go through him. Then she had turned around and was gone. He had searched the crowd as he talked to the fans and signed autographs but he didn't see her again. He wasn't able stop thinking about Rachel that night. How she had looked even more beautiful than she had all those years ago.
How, even after all that time, she still couldn't stand to be anywhere near him.
He had fallen asleep on the couch that night.
Other than the night he saw Rachel, the first year of married life was great. He and Isla were happy, but as their careers became a bigger part of their lives, they began to grow apart. And that was when Rachel came back into Jesse's world. Only not in the way that Jesse would have liked.
Jesse had thought that perhaps they could let bygones be bygones but when Rachel had greeted him coolly the first time they spoke, he knew that wasn't going to be possible. He had hoped that his note the night of her very first Broadway performance would be seen as a peace offering, but obviously Rachel hadn't seen it the same way. In a way, it was almost like they had never known each other at all.
And that's how the next few years were for them. They were cordial at parties and other social events, and perhaps there were some lingering glances that they both tried to hide but that was it. That is, until they were both cast in the lead roles in a Broadway musical.
Isla should've noticed the shift, but she was so wrapped up in her own life away from Jesse that she didn't seem to care, even if she did notice a change in her husband.
Author's Note: I wanted to give a little background for Rachel and Jesse before I got to the actual story. The next chapter, which is already written, will be some Rachel backstory.