|Best Laid Schemes
Author: EZRocksAngel PM
Bella makes a deal that turns her world upside down.Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 16 - Words: 30,946 - Reviews: 2,488 - Favs: 1,834 - Follows: 1,286 - Updated: 02-20-11 - Published: 01-11-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6644527
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Months ago I saw the preview for the movie Easy A and was inspired to write this fic. It sat in my head for a long time and over the holidays it took root again. It starts off a bit like the movie but not for long...i tend to go off on my own tangents quick enough. The chapters will be short-the fic itself novella length. I will update T/T/Sunday (hopefully).
"So the guys," he said, looking over at the group of knuckle-headed boys surrounding the bonfire, "think I'm gay."
I stared at him for a minute, trying to follow his logic.
"They do," he insisted. His tone was a little desperate. His dark brown eyes were really desperate.
"You are gay." I said.
"Shhh!" he hushed me. "They could hear you."
"Dude, they know!" I yell-whispered back. "I don't understand! Why don't you just tell them?"
He moved off the log next to me and settled in the sand at my feet. His big hands wrapped around my calves as he rested his chin on my knees. "I'm not ready. I know they suspect, but I'm just not ready."
"Well, what are you going to do?" I asked, truly interested in how he thought he could hide this. I was pretty sure everyone had known for a long time. They were just waiting for Jake to get the balls to admit it.
He looked up with puppy dog eyes and pushed out his bottom lip. "Well, I had this idea..."
I narrowed my eyes and brushed a lock of hair off his forehead. "What kind of idea?"
He lifted his eyebrows suggestively, "I thought maybe you and me…we could, you know...fake it?"
I pulled back. "Fake what? Because look Jake, I love you and all, but I draw the line at being your fake girlfriend. In fact, I drew the line years ago being your real girlfriend."
He chuckled nervously and tightened his fingers around the denim covering my legs. "No, not that. What if you like, kissed me or something." He ducked his head. I wondered if he thought I was going to hit him.
"You want me to kiss you?" I'd kissed Jake before, when we were thirteen, and even then, only on a dare from Paul. I looked across the beach at Paul who had his tongue shoved down the throat of some girl with dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Fucking horndog.
"Or something," he mumbled into my knees, bringing my attention back to him.
"What do you mean 'or something'?" I had a horrible feeling in my stomach, because if a fake kiss was all he wanted, he would have just asked.
Jake looked up and I knew. I knew I was making a deal with the devil, but he was my best friend. My oldest friend. He needed my help, and I knew that before this was all over, I was going to cave to whatever it was he wanted.
The weekend passed and my conversation with Jake still weighed heavily on my mind. He wanted to have sex with me. Well, fake sex at least. He wanted Paul and Quil and the other guys to think he was straight so they would leave him alone. I got it-I did-but I wasn't sure if I was the right girl for the job.
Jake was convinced this would work. We had always been very close and for us to suddenly have a relationship wouldn't be questioned too much. It's not like I had a boyfriend that would care or that even the kids at my own school would find out. He just wanted to put on enough of a show to be convincing. I was skeptical.
First of all, I had little experience. Okay, I had no experience. I wasn't exactly a prude. I mean, I had kissed boys. I allowed Sam Uley to touch my boobs after Homecoming last year, and I even dry-humped Paul at the lake when I had three beers and two hits off Quil's bong. Afterwards, I pretended it never happened. Paul did, too. It was possible he was more embarrassed than I was. I mean, I wasn't the one who had to drive home with sticky pants.
The reality was, I just hadn't gone there yet with anyone and I wasn't sure how good I was going to be convincing a bunch of sexually experienced, douchebag football players that I made Jacob a man.
I was mulling all this over as I walked into chemistry, slipping through the desks and dropping my books on the slick, black top of my lab table. I was pretty sure non-virgins walked different. I observed the girls entering the classroom. Lauren Mallory walked through the door and I immediately honed in. Covertly, I studied her movements. Her demeanor, her stature. Her hips shifted a little with every step. Her chest was pushed out and her lips pouted just a touch.
I sighed and rested my forehead on my desk, closing my eyes. There was no way I could pull this off.
The chair next to me scraped across the floor and I heard a thump next to my head. My lab partner had arrived. Great. Figuring out what to do about a possible fake lover while sitting next to my desired nevergonnahappen lover made my life more like a joke than ever.
"Swan," he greeted, easing into his seat.
I opened an eye, the one not pressed against the cool, hard table. "Cullen."
He tipped the chair back, balancing his knees on the table. "Something wrong?"
I sat up and stretched, pulling out my books and a pen, ignoring the stupid smirk on his face. "Nope. What did you do this weekend?"
He shrugged, "Hung out with Emmett and Jasper. Graced the town with my awesomeness. You know, same old. You?"
I laughed. Smug bastard. "It was interesting."
He cocked his head and smiled in amusement. My heart twisted a little like it always did. "Interesting good, or interesting bad?"
"You know, I'm not sure yet."
Mr. Banner walked down the aisle, ending our conversation while he passed out lab sheets and began discussing our assignment. Edward placed the paper between us and leaned over. "Well, let me know when you figure it out okay?"
I nodded, liking the fact he was so close to me. I knew there was no way Edward would ever figure out what I as referring to. I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him. I may be a sucker, but I wasn't a fool. The only reason I was even considering it was the fact that Jake went to another school and had different friends. What happens on the Rez, stays on the Rez. That was the rule.
"Okay so, once we get inside, I'm going to kiss you."
I scrunched up my nose. "Really?"
"Oh my god, Bella! Do I repulse you that much?" Jake actually threw his hands in the air. Fucking drama queen.
I groaned and pressed my face into my palms. "Of course not. But give me a chance to freak out a little. I'm only going to lose my fake virginity once."
Jake leaned his head back and smiled. "I love you."
"You better. Now, let's get inside and kiss. And then, you better get me a drink to go through with the rest of this."
Jake followed my directions, helping me from my side of the car, holding my hand on the way to the front porch and pushing me against the door, his lips firmly pressed against my own the minute we saw a couple of his friends. The good news is Jake really was pretty hot. He was tall and big. I wrapped my hand around his arm, feeling the hard, tight muscles under his shirt. His dark hair and eyes made his teeth white and pretty. If I turned off my brain it wouldn't be so bad. Right?
My thoughts were interrupted by Jake's tongue pushing between my teeth and I pinched his side. "Watch it okay?"
"Just trying to keep it real."
I gave him my best bitchface. "Go get my drink." And off he ran.
"Bella!" I turned and found myself face to face with Leah and Emily, girls who went to school with Jacob. "Since when..." Emily started.
"Oh you know us," I laughed. "We just, you know, thought we would give it a shot."
"Really?" Leah asked. She had the most beautiful cheekbones. I was jealous. "I kinda thought he was gay."
I laughed loudly. Too loudly. "Jake? Gay? Did you see that kiss? No way, girls." I purred.
"Bells?" He emerged, handing me my drink and gesturing to the stairs that led to the second floor.
"Oh! Better go see what my man needs," I said, waving a hand at the two girls and giving them an exaggerated wink as Jake pulled me up the steps. We wove through the throngs of students, stopping only to take a swig of our drinks and for me to get my neck mauled by his mouth.
Playfully, I pushed him away. "Don't make me explain a hickey to my mom and dad."
His eyes widened. Yeah. Neither of us wanted that.
At the top, we stood outside Embry's room. "Are you sure?" he asked, low and quiet. He was giving me an out. I nodded and fisted his shirt, pulling him closer.
"Yes. Let do this okay?"
He smiled, grateful and sweet. "I'm gonna rock your world baby." I rolled my eyes and let him lead me in the room, shutting the door on the handful of people on the other side.
Thanks to all my pre-readers I harassed over the last couple weeks.
Vanessarae for the beta. Greenyellow & Wime09 for the reads and thoughts.
catch me on twitter if you like for nonsensical tweeting~ezrocksangel