|The Big Room That Is Big
Author: Mellow Walrus PM
"Look it's a big room and it's very big and it's a room that is big and Mark is my best friend Oh Hai Mark how'd you get in here the door is locked did you break in that's not good stop breaking into people's houses that's not good you should knock first"Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,648 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 05-18-12 - Published: 01-23-11 - id: 6680806
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Mark knew about the symbolism that surrounded his hanging by the edge of the cliff. It represents never letting go no matter how hard things in life would get, and that you must trust your instincts that the light to the way of courage would light inside of you heart, which is the place where you can find love. Love! Mark cried manly tears at the deep symbolism, and there were tears that formed into water and that water formed into a waterfall as it fell down the cliff. He cheered as his philosophical outlook on life saved the day, and drifted smoothly down the new stream that trickled down the side of the cliff.
At the end of all sorrows, greatness will be achieved, and because of that he cried more manly tears. The steady stream of water summoned by Mark's sexah eyes created a self-propelling waterslide that carried him across slippery slopes that zigzagged across the jagged mountain trails. His momentum continuously escalated until he reached extreme levels that smacked him right into the middle of a mountain, but a mountain is no match for The Mark! He blasted his way through the stone barrier and shot out at the speeds of a swimming bullet. The landmark was no match for the sheer power of the blow and crumbled into several bitty bits.
Itty bitty rock bits rained from the sky, and Mark knew that the symbolism applied to nature's mother as well. He cried more manly tears, but realized he should cry up this time because up is symbolic because it means heaven and stuff. So he cried upward and his tear water clashed against the raining rocks that fell from the sky. Water type beats rock type in Pokémon, so it pushed the rocks out of the way and into space, which means that all asteroids and metors are actually results of mountains that get exploded by awesome dudes. Mark cried more manly tears because he was not only the world's greatest philosopher, he was also a scientist! The mountain's ghost congradulated Mark's achievement by throwing a party in space, so Mark rocketed himself skyward by manly tearing towards the ground so it pushed him all the way up.
The space party was radically dudular.
Mark jumped back to his homeland and landed in a grassy place. He wondered if dirt was any softer than grass, because that fall from space made him feel slightly hurt a small little bit, so he ripped all the grass in the land out of its roots to uncover the layer of soil underneath. He didn't have the philosophical mood going on right now, but he knew a science way to test his hypothesis! He curled all of the roots into a ball, bounced the ball into the air a few times by punching it, and then jumped on top of the ball when it got down and then jumped back off when the ball made it up high. When he landed on the ground, it felt even harder than the time he fell on the grass.
He frowned because he was disappointed by how much of a bad move he made, and was symbolic of how dudes do stuff like ruin land because of humanity and it's ruining the environment! So he cried manly tears. But the tears watered the soil, and more grass grew in its original place. He cheered because it represented forgiveness, and now he must make a second chance happen to him!
He gathered some nearby rocks and arranged them into a circle. He danced in the middle of the circle. The circle felt good.
After a long day of chopping down trees with his fists, he crafted a motorcycle and rode around the place with it. He drove over hills really fast which hurled him up in the air, so he did a backflip and then jumped off of the bike midair to dive into a nearby river. Alligators hung out in the place there, so he wrestled them. They died, and Mark turned their remains into a frisbee made of alligator skin. He threw the frisbee at a nearby bear, and the bear caught it and hurled it back to them. They exchanged throws until the bear charged at him, to give him a bear hug. Mark and the bear fistbumped and then they went their separate ways.
He ran and jumped from tree to tree, but then he remembered that he chopped down the trees and turned them into a motorcycle. So he drove the motorcycle. Winds kept pushing him as he drove, so he yelled at them. The winds quieted down after that.
Mark stopped by the place that the mountain exploded at. He paid his respects because he friggin' killed the mountain, but that's only because the mountain was in his way. He noticed that there was a shining light at the bottom of the crater, and it turned out to be lava! A jet of lava thrust itself upward and stuff. It became a volcano and there was lava everywhere that set stuff on fire. Mark cried manly tears because he knew this was all his fault, and water type beats fire type in the Pokémon games. The tear water doused the burning flame of blazing fire, and it formed a mountain where the mountain once stood. He returned balance to nature!
The mountain's soul left the space party and went back to the new mountain and became happy. Plus, a tree sprouted on the summit! That's awesome, dudes! The tree on the top gave Mark a spoon powered by chlorophyll energy as a thank you.
Mark knew what must be done. He must return to find his one true self. He must return to Johnny! He was too funny and charming and sexy to abandon on the edge of the cliff where he was hanging at!
Mark retuned to Cliff Face's cliff face where Johnny was hanging from. Jonny said "You should come here earlier next time" and they laughed
But the laugh overed quickly, because Mark was busy helping Johnny up to his feet. They laughed and said "Ha ha ha" to each other while smiling with happy faces.
"Let's go eat, honk?" Johnny said, and they travelled to wherever else the winds that obey Mark will take them along their path to a near future of happiness.