|100 Things You Shouldn't Do In Death Note
Author: The New Vampire PM
Title says it all. Concerns original cast of characters, involves events and things before Chapter 58 in the manga. Possible mention of Mello, Matt and Near, but if so will happen in the events before, as I've said Chap. 58. Possible spoilers. -Willow.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,356 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12-10-11 - Published: 02-09-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6730721
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Does it ever bug you when people put these things on and never really finish them? Well, I felt guilty leaving you all in the gutter, so here's the whole of the list, in all it's glory. Y'all know the drill: read, review, and tell me your favorite so I can make the final interlude (unless it's already been written).
100 Things you shouldn't do in Death Note (if you value your life)
1. Do not deprive Ryuk of apples for too long.
2. Do not steal L's sweets.
3. Do not steal L's cake.
4. Do not steal L's heavily oversugared coffee.
5. Do not steal any of L's food.
6. Do not steal anything from L, period.
7. When in doubt about what to steal from L, refer to Rule 6.
8. Do not write fake love notes from L to Light.
9. Do not write fake love notes from Light to L.
10. Do not show fake love notes (see 8 and 9) to Misa.
11. Do not show Light how smart you are by defusing his little trap in the drawer.
12. Do not go fangirl-crazy around Raito/Kira/Light when Misa is in the room.
13. Do not go fangirl-crazy around L under any condition.
14. Do not challenge L to a sugar-eating contest.
15. Do not stalk L.
16. Do not stalk Light.
17. Do not stalk Misa.
18. Do not stab Matsuda when he does something idiotic.
19. Do not hand Director Yagami a handkerchief when he starts breaking out in a sweat. He can very well go and wipe his own damp forehead.
20. Do not poke Aizewa's afro.
21. Do not drain the gas from Wedy's motorcycle.
22. Do not slap the top of Matsuda's head when he goes ga-ga over the high school Sayu, or remind him he's more than 10 years older than her.
23. Do not shave off Watari's moustache to see if he has a mouth under that gigantic walrus moustache.
24. Do not scream, "OMG WATARI!" whenever he walks in.
25. Do not comment to Watari on his overly-cliché wardrobe (I mean, really, he has a fedora and a trench coat with flipped-up coller? Yeah.)
26. Do not slip sleeping pills in L's coffee.
27. Do not steal Misa's wardrobe.
28. Do not steal Light's wardrobe.
29. Do not criticize L on his diabetic diet.
30. Do not check L's teeth to see if he has cavities.
31. Do not steal Light's Death Note.
32. Do not switch Light's barbeque chips with a different flavor.
33. Do not switch Light's special barbeque chip bag with another one.
34. Do not steal the LCD TV from Light's barbeque chip bag.
35 Do not tell Rem that Misa's not worth dying for.
36 Do not hold a lighter to any of the Death Notes. You will get tackled by a bunch of men scared out of their wits.
37. Do not copy L's mannerisms. It will tick him off. And you don't want to see L ticked off.
38. Do not copy Light's dramatic writing.
39. Do not sing "The Song that gets on Everybody's Nerves" around any of the characters.
40. Do not compare L to Gollum.
41. Do not point out that there is no more cake in the fridge.
42. Do not laugh when L starts freaking out about how there's no more cake in the fridge.
43. Do not grab L's strawberry from his cake. Or his fork.
44. NO. Just…no.
45. Do not replace the Death Note with the diary Light put in as a false.
46. Do not doodle in the Death Note.
47. Do not draw pretty pictures in the Death Note.
48. Do not hiss and call the Death Note "my preciousssss…" while clutching it into your chest.
49. Do not steal L's helicopter, no matter what he says about 'anyone can fly it'.
50. Do not steal L.
51. Do not squee like a brain-dead fangirl when L smiles. Or, just don't squee at all.
52. Do not ask L if he uses eyeliner to create bags under his eyes.
53. Do not scream, "HI, LAWLIET!" in L's ear when he's making a sugar cube tower.
54. Do not try to give L any kind of 'healthy' dessert.
55. Do not look in L's bathroom to see if he has a comb.
56. Do not poke L's hair to see if he uses gel/hairspray to keep it like that.
57. Do not send L a cake that says "Light-san is defiantly NOT Kira."
58. Do not tell L the cake is a lie.
59. Do not ask Light if he is taking a calligraphy class.
60. Do not take one of the special belts and press it a few hundred times to see how many times Watari's cell phone rings.
61. Do not goad Light into punching L.
62. Do not punch L.
63. Do not punch Light.
64. Do not punch Misa, no matter how much she gets on your nerves.
65. Do not push Misa off a bridge.
66. Do not 'conveniently' burn all of her clothes.
67 Do not ask Light if he copied his hair from Justin Beiber.
68. Or David Tennant. (Even though he totally did! –Lena (an avid DW fan who will be flamed for saying this but doesn't give a darn because David Tennant L!) [A/N: no, he's not. LDavid Tennant. Just so you know.]
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR THE FOLLWING MESSAGE—TWO WRITERS BY THE NAMES OF WILLOW AND LENA HAVE JUST BEEN AIRLIFTED TO A HOSPITAL. IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHO MAY HAVE ATTACKED THESE GIRLS, PLEASE CALL 999 RIGHT AWAY. WE HAVE INFORMATION THAT A HOARDE OF GIRLS CARRYING SONIC SCREWDRIVERS AND/OR STRAWBERRY CAKE WERE SEEN FLEEING THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.
69. Do not tell Misa that Light's name spelled backwards is "I'm a gay".
70. Do not tell L that Light's name spelled backwards is "I'm a gay".
71. Do not tell anyone about Light's last name.
72. Do not tell Light that L's name is Lawliet.
73. Do not say that L is a dentist's nightmare.
74. Do not pretend to have a heart attack every time Light pulls out the Death Note.
75. Do not continually rip out pages in the Death Note to see if they really ever run out.
76. Do not write "Rule 25: The person that is using the Death Note is Light Yagami."
77. Do not create a Life Note.
78. Do not walk around with the Life Note.
79. Do not claim that the neighbor's dog is your shinigami.
80. Do not claim the boy behind the counter at the pizza parlor is your shinigami.
81. Do not flip off Mogi.
82. Do not poke L when he's sitting in his special way to see if he falls over.
83. Do not knock over L's sugar cube tower.
84. Do not drink L's coffee to see just how much sugar he puts in it.
85. Do not ask L if his pen is contaminated with some deadly diseases.
86. Do not burn the doilies in Misa's room.
87. Do not ask Misa if she's Catholic.
88. Do not force L's feet to the ground and then quiz him on various things to see if his deductive reasoning DOES go down by 40%.
89. Do not force L into a suit. As much as you want to see him in one, and as much as he looks adorable in it.
90. Do not force Light in a suit. Odds are, he'll do it if you flirt with him long enough.
91. Do not show L (or Light, for that matter) any yaoi pictures that you may have.
92. Do not show Light (or L) exactly what is the most popular pairing in the Death Note section of , and deviantART (For those of you who don't know, it's LXLight)
93. Do not bring a bag of Skittles into the headquarters.
94. Or a bag of M&Ms.
95. Or any kind of candy.
96. Do not ask L what he dresses up as during Halloween.
97. Do not ask L if the reason why he looks the way he does is because he's born on Halloween.
98. Do not dress up Light as a giant apple.
99. Do not dress up Misa as a giant apple.
100. And finally, what EVER you do, do NOT EVER EVER EVER…dress L up as a panda.
And for being awesome people, here's something for you:
*Warning: the following content contains...
101. Don't stand behind Misa when she's standing on top of the building.
102. Don't eat popcorn when standing behind a suicidal Misa.
103. Don't shout, "Do it! Do it!" while doing 101 & 102.
104. Don't bring in random people from random places *coughStrawHatPiratescough* and dump them in the Investigation Center.
105. Don't ever incorporate all of these into a fanfic. Not even two of them. (yes, that's called hypocrisy, children, and I use it very often.)