|What Have I Done?
Author: thegirlinchargeofthewords PM
Raven has a strange dream that changes her mind about Jagger and traveling with him. But now, she's being hunted down. Will Jagger be able to save Raven or will her opponent flee to save her own family from crumbling apart?Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Raven M. & Jagger M. - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,099 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 05-12-12 - Published: 02-13-11 - id: 6741463
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Why spend your life sitting in a mansion with a sensitive artist watching paint dry when we could see the world together? Come with me, Raven."
I shouldn't agree to this. Jagger Maxwell was my enemy. Alexander and I's enemy. I love Alexander Sterling. I hate Jagger Maxwell.
"If you don't come with me Alexander's fate will be put into question."
"You wouldn't kill him. You were his friend."
"I came close to it, in the cemetery. I would. So what do you say? Go say goodbye to Alexander, become a vampire and come with me to see the world or say goodbye to Alexander before I kill him and the rest happens."
"I'll come with you willingly, just don't kill him. Promise me."
"You expect me to stick to it?"
"You are evil. Not a nice guy in the least, but if there is one thing I can tell about you it's that you are trustworthy and passionate."
"Maybe I am. Pack your things. I'll meet you in front in thirty minutes. Then we'll see to our Alexander problem."
"Promise me that you won't kill him."
"Cross my heart and hope to die," Jagger chuckled dryly.
"I hope you do die," I muttered.
"Would you like me to reword? I would like a silver stake jammed through your heart."
"You didn't feel like that the other day. You know, when you kissed me."
I pulled out my suitcase and tossed it on the bed. "I did not kiss you. You kissed me."
"Did too." I yanked out drawers and dumped them into the suitcase. Then I pulled everything from my closet. Everything fit. It was a HUGE suitcase. But then I grabbed another one for my shoes. No way was I leaving my combat boots behind.
There was a knock on the door. My mother said, "Raven, Little Bird, Alexander is here."
"I'll be down in a minute." I turned to Jagger. "You should go away. Like forever."
"I'll just wait here." Jagger flopped onto my bed next to my suitcase.
I slipped through the door of my bedroom and down the stairs. I was scared to death and Alexander could tell.
"Raven, what's wrong? What's happened?" Alexander was stressing.
"I can't explain right now. I'll come over to the mansion in a little while. I'll be able to speak freely there. I'm sorry."
"But why are you sorry? Raven, tell me what is going on."
"I'll tell you later. Go back to the mansion. I'll meet you there in I don't know half an hour, maybe earlier. I love you forever. Never forget that. Half an hour at the mansion."
"I'll be there." Alexander bent to kiss me, but I pushed him away. I couldn't. I had to distance myself from him.
"Bye." I turned and bounded up the steps back to my room. Alexander left. I ignored Jagger and finished packing.
"You should write a note."
"Write a note to your family."
"Right, because I'm not going to see them again." This was going to be hard. I was going to miss everyone. I ripped a page from my journal. "I have nothing to say to them."
I dropped the pen and paper onto the desk. "I have nothing to say. I can't lie anymore."
"If you don't do anything you'll regret it."
"Why are you doing this to me? Why me?"
"I have a score to settle with your vampire and I happen to be in . . ."
"Nothing. Tell them that your safe and you love them. That is the least you should give them."
"Am I? Am I safe with you?"
"Well, when we are bonded . . ."
"Ah, this bonded stuff. Don't explain."
"Are you ready to go?"
"Not really, but I don't really have a choice now do I?"
I scribbled on the notebook page:
I'm in good hands. Don't worry. I know you will anyway, but I don't want you to. I love you all. I'm going to miss everyone including Trevor. Don't blame anyone for this. I'll be back someday. Nightmare is with Alexander now. I dropped her off when he was asleep. He doesn't know about this. I love you all.
"Get off my bed. I'll meet you out front."
Jagger disappeared out my window with the bag of my shoes and make up. I found my cat and dragged my bag through the house to outside. Mom and Dad were in their room and Billy Boy was in his. No one noticed I was leaving. I shut the door softly behind me and when I turned around Jagger was next to me. He took the bag.
"What's with the cat?"
"Nightmare is going to live with Alexander."
"I hate animals."
"That's funny considering you are an animal."
"You are more of an animal than I. You have a heartbeat. I do not."
"You are road-kill." I started walking off towards Benson Hill. Jagger was next to me all the while.
"You have the name of a bird which is in fact an animal."
We fell into silence.
I was doing this for Alexander.
"Can I tell him the truth?"
"Stay here at the gates."
Jagger raised an eyebrow. Here I was, a nice refreshment ordering him around. Alexander was waiting on the steps of the mansion.
"Raven, will you tell me what's wrong?"
"I have to go out of town for a while. A long while. I need you to take care of Nightmare for me."
"Why do you have to leave? I can come with you."
"No. I, uh, Alexander, we can't be together anymore. It's a protection thing. I'm protecting someone."
"You're leaving me to protect someone?"
"Yes. I'm protecting you from someone. It's the only way. I go willingly and you are fine. I'll be in good hands. He won't hurt me if I come willingly. If I try to get out of this he'll kill you and I'll be forced to go with him. I'll find you someday."
"Raven, don't go. I love you! Whoever it is, I don't care if someone is after me."
"I'm doing this because I love you, because I care if someone is after you. I'll find you again someday. For now, I want you to take Nightmare back so you remember me. Tell Jameson I'll miss him."
"Look, I love you and I'll miss you, but I have to do this."
"Just tell me who he is."
"You won't let me go if I tell you."
"I won't let you go either way." Alexander grabbed my arm.
What would get him to let go of me? If I told him I didn't love him . . . that would do the trick. Or if I said I loved someone else too. But I couldn't do it.
"Alexander, you have to let me go."
"Times up," Jagger called.
"You just live to cause problems don't you? Here I am saying goodbye to the first and only guy I love because of you and now you interrupt. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."
"Well, I would be nice to the guy who is going to pay your way around the world, but you know if you'd rather sit with the luggage . . ."
Alexander dropped my arm and launched himself at Jagger. I didn't watch the fight, but I heard the punches and the growls.
"Stop it!" I yelled. "Stop!"
They stopped for a second, but Alexander threw another punch. What would dictract them? Both vampires so . . . blood. I pulled a pocket knife from the ground. It was Jagger's. It has bounced out of his pocket when Alexander jumped him. I switched it open. Jagger saw it. His eyes flashed red. Mad he was, but I don't feel I had a choice.
I closed my eyes and brought the blade to my skin. I heard one last punch and then the cold metal was no longer pressed against my arm. I looked up into the no longer cold and hard blue and green eyes of Jagger. I had never noticed how pretty they were.
"Now why on earth would you want to do that?" he asked, staring into my eyes. Vampires are hypnotic and compelling.
Here it goes. I was trying to say, "To distract you from killing my boyfriend," but what came out was worse and I didn't even know this myself. "I didn't want the two guys I care about rip each other to shreds when I could do something to distract you guys from it."
Jagger chuckled while I rushed up to the door of the mansion.
"Jameson, it's Raven. Alexander's knocked out. I'm not going to be back ever so bye. Tell him that I'm sorry and I love him."
I ran as the door opened. I felt my black hair hit my back as I ran towards the gate.
"Miss Raven!" the creepy guy called after me before rushing over to Alexander.
I stopped when I saw Jagger next to where we left the bags.
"You are horrible."
"You'll change your mind about that."
"I doubt it."
"Come on. I parked down the road."
He grabbed the biggest bag while I carried my purse and the smaller bag. We started walking in silence.
"I guess I was meaning on leaving Dullsville anyway. Just not like this. For college or running away with Alexander."
Soon we came upon a hearse. "Nice car."
"What else is a Goth to drive?"
"Ah, toting coffins?"
"Yep, but not tonight. We aren't going far. What you call Hipsterville."
"My aunt lived there."
"She moved with her boyfriend Devon. They moved to some small town. Goth doesn't fit her. I dressed her up before. I would hate for you to have to see it."
"I did see it that night, at the club."
"But . . ."
"I followed you out. You were in the dungeon. If anyone had paid close enough attention they would have noticed that you were human. I was making sure you were okay."
"And you care why?"
"Because I can and do."
"Because," Jagger said as he pulled open the back door of the hearse and loaded my bags. "Why are you really coming this willingly?"
"Because," I answered, "I don't really hate you."
"Do you know everything?" I snapped.
"I have been around quite a bit longer than you."
"Yeah, I guess." I sighed. Alexander wasn't going to turn me and Jagger would, but did I really want Jagger to turn me? I wanted someone I loved to turn me. And I loved Alexander, not Jagger.
"Avenged Sevenfold or Marilyn Manson?"
"Tonight . . . Avenged Sevenfold."
"Good choice." Jagger slid the CD and 'A Little Piece of Heaven' blared throughout the hearse.
I was sliding into a depression. This wasn't any good. I'd come willingly. I should have warned Alexander when he was at my house. I should have tried to escape from Jagger, but I didn't. I didn't really care too . . .
I was brought out of my mind when I heard Jagger sing, "I will suffer for so long."
I went with it. "What will you do? Not long enough."
"To make it up to you."
"I pray to God that you do."
"I'll do whatever you want me to do."
"Well, then I'll grant you one chance."
"And if it's not enough?"
"If it's not enough, if it's not enough?"
"If it's not enough?"
"Over and over again."
Then we sang the chorus together. "We're coming back, coming back. We'll live forever, live forever. Let's have a wedding, have a wedding. Let's start the killing, start the killing."
I started laughing and he chuckled.
"Well, that was fun."
"Yeah," I sighed. I couldn't help but think how that sort of fit to our situation.
Half an hour later we pulled into the alley behind the coffin club. I saw the Night Rod that I knew Phoenix drives. And I knew the Phoenix was truly Alexander.
"Romeo, bring in her stuff." Jagger said tossing Romeo the keys.
"Hey, Romeo." I smiled and hugged the vampire.
"You look amazing. I could just eat you up."
Jagger growled. Why? I don't know. I found it sounded quite protective.
"Phoenix is back."
"I see that." Jagger wound an arm around me as we entered the club through the back door. "I have to take care of something in the Dungeon. You remember where my apartment is at?" He laughed remembering when I hid behind him instead of Phoenix. I would have hidden behind Phoenix had I known then what I know now. That Phoenix is really Alexander.
"Yes, I remember. Why can't I come with you? I've been there before."
"Yeah, but there might be trouble."
"My middle name."
"I know, but I don't want you there for it."
"Fine, but . . ."
"Will you be okay?"
"Of course." He pressed the button that would take me to the floor his apartment was on.
"Just in case . . ." I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. What on earth was I doing? And why? This is the second time we'd kissed . . . "This time I kissed first."
I pulled away from him and opened the door of the freight elevator.
"Actually, why don't you come with? There won't be too much trouble . . ."
"That's what I thought." I smiled. That wasn't my aim, but hey, I guess it worked. Jagger and I stepped into the old elevator and pressed to button to take us down to the Dungeon level.
"You are going to stay by the bar. If you see me leave with Phoenix Do Not Follow, go back to my apartment." Jagger pulled out a key ring and slid off a key then he pressed it into my hand.
He was going to hurt Phoenix-I mean, Alexander. The exact opposite reason of why I came with him. How could I make Jagger not go after Phoenix.
"Jagger, let me talk to Phoenix. He won't hurt me. I know that for a fact."
"No. Why do you think he won't hurt you?" The elevator stopped and he pulled open the door. We walked out.
"Because I know him."
Jagger stopped in his tracks. "How?"
"Uh . . ." Crap. What do I say? What do I say? "Alexander and I spent some time apart last year. About a month. Phoenix was there and we got to know each other pretty well." Lie, Lie, Lie. I could have just said that it was personal. Why didn't I just say that it was personal? "Please, at least let me come with you. Please."
"Fine." What was with him? Usually he would put up some type of fight . . .
"What happened to your backbone?"
Jagger stepped away from me. "Love. It's messed me up more than you'll ever know." He shook his head and pulled out a skeleton key. "C'mon."
We walked down the hall towards the coffin shaped doors. He slid in the key and his head shot up.
"Stay right out here." Jagger commanded as he rushed through the door. I didn't listen of course. I ran through the door to see a stake being rammed thorugh my loves heart.