Codename: Kids Next Door + Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Crossover »

Hoagie Gilligan Ace Attorney
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Tnelson711 PM
"My client, Numbuh 4, is innocent. I'm here to prove that, in any way possible." Such were words from newbie attorney, Hoagie Gilligan, also known as Numbuh 2. He's ready to testify Numbuh 4's innocence in court. But is he up to the job? Case 2 started.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Crime - Hoagie P. G. Jr./Numbuh 2 - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,473 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 03-01-11 - Published: 02-13-11 - id: 6741931
A+  A-   Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten

This Message Was Recorded on July 12th, 2008

BEEP!

BEEP!

BE-

Click!

"What is the meaning of this? Numbuh 5's in the middle of dinner over here!"

"This is Numbuh 86 requesting you at Moonbase immediately!"

"What for?"

"Well, unfortunately, we haven't been able to recreate the Recommissioning Device. As a result, it seems Numbuh 362's memories have been lost forever. So Moonbase Officials took a vote as to who would be the next Soopreme Leader."

"And?"

"Well, you're it."

"WHAT?"

"The Successor to Numbuh 362's leadership was decided as you."

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Believe me, I wish I was."

"Alright, Numbuh 5'll be there. Hold on, gonna have to take a to-go box at my own personal restaurant."

Click!


Sector V

Numbuh 2's (Fancy) Room

July 14th, 2008

3:14 PM


Hello, this is me, Hoagie P. Gilligan! If you're hearing this, do you take your phone to be your wife, because it's a-ringing? …Get it? Rin-

"Hello?" answered Numbuh 2, cutting off his own phone's lame pun.

"This is Numbuh 5 speaking."

"Numbuh 5? What are you doing at the Arctic Prison? This phone's showing that you're using one of the phones there. Why?"

"Calling you from there, since the guards took away my phone."

"WHAT? What's going on?" asked Numbuh 2.

"Well...Numbuh 5 got the boot a little early."

"How come?"

"Well, they're saying that Numbuh 5 ain't legally cut out for the job, but I think they're nuts. And this is coming from Numbuh 86, who's the one who called me about the job in the first place! Anyway, they also sent me to Arctic Prison because we're going to court later on, and I need your help."

"Sure thing. You need me to bust you out, because I'm pretty sure-" began Numbuh 2.

"Don't even go there, buddy boy. I meant in court."

"Oh."

"And seeing as your first case was successful, Numbuh 5 takes it that you're up to the job. I need you to investigate what's going on, too."

"You can count on me, Soopreme Leader!"

"Well, don't call me that now. I may not be Soopreme Leader for long. Now they're gonna kick me off the phone any minute, so I'll have to... … … … ..."

"...Numbuh 5?" inquired Numbuh 2, concerning Numbuh 5's sudden silence. Frustrated, he turned off his phone, grimacing. He sighed as he retrieved and dusted off his detective's cap. He would need it for this mission.


Arctic Base

Arctic Prison Detention Center

The Same Day

5:00 PM


If I was going to get any information out of Numbuh 5, I had to have a detailed conversation with her. Since she was at Arctic Prison, that was the perfect opportunity to question her, because it allows for KND operatives to go and there and speak with prisoners. I didn't feel comfortable here, but if it would help Numbuh 5, I had to do it.

"Hello, Numbuh 60. I'm here to see Numbuh 5," explained Numbuh 2.

"Alright, but visiting hours are almost over," answered Numbuh 60, stepping aside so Numbuh 2 could get into the meeting room. He waited for almost a minute, but as Numbuh 5 was brought into their table, he smiled his usual cheesy grin. However, he shook it off as he sat down.

"How did you know that Numbuh 5 wanted you to meet her here?"

"Well, I didn't. I just wanted to speak with you for a bit," explained Numbuh 2. "Anyway, I need to ask you a few questions."

"How come?"

"If this case is to be successful, I need your cooperation," said Numbuh 2. "And we all know that you're one of the best members of the entire organization. I don't know why they would arrest you of all people, but I'm here to find out."

"Alright, then if you need to ask me questions, then go ahead. Quiz me!" answered Numbuh 5.

"Very well. First of all, what was the crime anyway?"

"Well, it was because I planned to decommission Numbuh 363," explained Numbuh 5. "and most of Moonbase agreed with me. However, for some reason, that boy got a hold of my plan, and he filed a lawsuit against me, claiming that not only was I abusing my power, but I wasn't even "legally available" to take the job."

"I see," noted Numbuh 2 as he jotted down the information on a piece of parchment. This would be evidence required for the case he was currently on. "For future reference, why did you intend to decommission him?"

"Why not? He's been arrogant, paranoid; the works. That's not even mentioning his hatred of being touched, which almost got us killed!"

"Indeed. Ar-ro-gant… pa-ra-noid- can you repeat that last one again?"

"Hatred of being touched?" repeated Numbuh 5.

"…got it," affirmed Numbuh 2. "One last question before I go? Who's prosecuting you?"

"Numbuh $1.50 an hour, ironically," admitted Numbuh 5.


Numbuh $1.50 an hour. He had helped us defend Numbuh 1 earlier, to no success. I remember when the Delightful Children from Down the Lane became 4th Grade Presidents at the school we go to and accused Numbuh 1 of doing things to them. The operative Numbuh 5 mentioned had attempted to be Numbuh 1's attorney, but since the DCFDTL were the judges, Numbuh 1 wasn't given a fair trial.

However, this was one of the few times I was thankful for that outcome.

Let me tell you more about Numbuh $1.50 an hour.

While he seems to be a great operative of law, on the inside, he's menacing. He manages to pull evidence out of nowhere, he manages to find loopholes in rules that should defend or prosecute that are innocent and guilty respectively, and that's not worth mentioning the lengths he goes to get his verdict, and he always does. The worst part of this is that even if he's on the defense, he has a knack for pulling out evidence that can make the defendant lose their credibility, even if they are declared not guilty.

How does this relate to Numbuh 1's unfair trial? Everything. If the judges had given a fair trial, I don't know what would have happened, but I can take a wild guess and likely get it right. I happen to know that Numbuh 1 didn't pass the exam – yet Numbuh 5 hacked him into the Kids Next Door. However, he's pretty high up in the Kids Next Door, so he'd probably know of the results, and of what had happened. If word of that got out, Numbuh 5 would not only lose her credibility, but even if she was declared not guilty in this case, she would still lose her job. If the trial were allowed to continue, he might have let that slip. Since Numbuh 1 wasn't supposed to be in the KND had Numbuh 5 abided the rules, this would have been bad for both him and her.

But I digress. How does this all relate to the current case? Everything, again. He's going to be my opponent, and while I've dealt with several villains before, like Mushi, Grandma Stuffum, the DCFDTL, and even Father, I have yet to find a challenge, but that may change because I have to deal with Numbuh $1.50 an hour. And by the looks of it, he will be my worst enemy in law.

And I'm not a fan of in-laws.

Later, I asked the guards for Numbuh 5's phone, for I could use it as evidence for the trial. Why? I don't know, but if I can find stuff in there, I could possibly use it against Numbuh $1.50 an hour. Luckily, they knew that I wouldn't give it to Numbuh 5, but I planned to give it back at the end of the trial, provided that Numbuh 5 got out okay.


Sector V

July 14th, 2008

6:00 PM


"So, Numbuh 2, how's it going?" asked Numbuh 3 almost as soon as Numbuh 2 got back from Arctic Prison.

"Well, unfortunately, not so well, Numbuh 3," sighed Numbuh 2. "How were things back at the treehouse?"

Numbuh 3 smiled, and replied, "They went well. Numbuh 4 was worried that he would be next in line for Arctic Prison, but I helped him out by having him watch everyone's favorite show."

"And that would be…?" asked Numbuh 2, more curious than a dead cat.

His answer came in the form of a scream from the other room, particularly Numbuh 4's.

"…Rainbow Monkeys, right?"

"Yep."

"Anything happen while I was out?" inquired Numbuh 2.

"Nothing much. I got the mail, though. Some junk mail, the latest in Rainbow Monkey magazine, and a letter to you," explained Numbuh 3. "I haven't read the magazine yet, but-"

"Wait, who would want to mail me a letter?"

"I dunno. Hold on, I'm sure I put it somewhere," pondered Numbuh 3 as she scurried about trying to find the letter addressed towards Numbuh 2. This was not a long procedure, as she swiftly found the envelope and handed it to Hoagie.

"Thanks. Be right back, I'll read this message in my room."

"Okey dokey, artichoky!" beamed Numbuh 3 while Numbuh 2 walked off. As Numbuh 2 paced towards his room, he started to take a look at the envelope. To his utter shock, there was no return address. Sure, the KND wanted to operate in secrecy, but they would use their Numbuh only. This envelope didn't have such a grace. What made it worse was that it was addressed to his real name. As he reached his room, he finally opened the letter. It contained nothing encouraging, nothing helpful, but something that would confuse him for a while, all in sloppy handwriting.

Don't snoop around. It's for your own good.

"What the heck is this supposed to be?" he wondered aloud.

That question was buried into his mind for the rest of the day. He told Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 about the cryptic message, but they had no idea about who wrote it, or why. Despite this (or perhaps because of this), Numbuh 2 knew that this was going to be a long case for him.

To Be Continued…

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