|Werewolves of Namimori
Author: Zessei PM
Hibari Kyoya is a werewolf. Oneshot. Gen.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Words: 2,911 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 02-14-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6744644
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Werewolves of Namimori
Hibari Kyoya is a werewolf. This is the conclusion that Gokudera Hayato has come to. To him it makes perfect sense, given the evidence. First, Hibari Kyoya is stronger and faster than what can be considered human, even before you factor in the mafia and flames. Second, Hibari Kyoya is clearly an 'Alpha-Male', always the one in charge and always somewhat apart from others. Third, Hibari Kyoya is territorial, and his territory is Namimori. Fourth, no one has ever seen Hibari Kyoya eat, most likely because he eats the flesh of delinquents. And lastly, there is his fixation with 'biting people to death', and while normally Gokudera would think this a more vampiric trait Hibari clearly has no problem with the sun.
So after careful consideration and analysis of the facts Gokudera has come up with only one likely hypothesis. Hibari Kyoya is a werewolf.
"I think the discipline bastard is a werewolf." Gokudera announced to Tsuna and Yamamoto during one of their bi-weekly study groups. He'd been entertaining this idea for the past couple of weeks but this was the first he'd mentioned it to his boss and eternal rival.
"What?" Tsuna looked confused as he leaned towards Gokudera, silently asking for Gokudera to repeat himself because what Tsuna had heard was so ridiculous that he must have heard wrong.
"I think Hibari Kyoya is a werewolf." Gokudera repeated seriously. His face had to same expression seen on it during math tests and battles against mafioso. The other two stared at him silently for a couple of minutes.
"Haha." Yamamoto laughed loudly. "I get it. It's a joke right?" Yamamoto pointed his mechanical pencil at the scowling Storm Guardian.
"No way, idiot." Gokudera grimaced at him while slamming a fist down on the low table they were working at. "I'm serious. I think that bastard is a werewolf."
"Why?" Tsuna asked, not really curious and honestly wanting nothing to do with the whole affair but recognizing that Gokudera was waiting for someone to ask. Gokudera rattled off his carefully thought over thesis, but the frown lines in Tsuna's forehead didn't lessen, if anything they got deeper as Gokudera mentioned eating the flesh of delinquents. "I'm not too sure about that. Don't you think it could just be coincidence? Besides, werewolves don't exist."
"Yeah, no one's ever proved they're real right?" Yamamoto pointed out as he wrote down the answer to problem ten of their math homework.
"Eh? How did you get 37?" Tsuna asked as he leaned over the table to look at Yamamoto's homework. "I got 132."
"Well, see first you have to move this variable to the other side, right?" Yamamoto explained, pointing at Tsuna's paper to show just where x needed to be placed.
"Hey! This is serious! Hibari Kyoya is a supernatural creature! Doesn't this disturb you?" Gokudera slammed both his hands on the table this time in order to get their attention.
"Not really." Tsuna answered blandly, because after gun toting babies and trips to the future supernatural creatures just didn't rank that high on his freaky scale. "Besides, it's like Yamamoto said, you don't have any actual proof, right?"
"That's why we're going to get some." Gokudera explained. "I figure if we observe Hibari for a couple days during the next full moon we'll get all the proof we need." He looked distinctly proud of, and somewhat smug about, his plan.
"Wait! You want to stalk Hibari-san?" Tsuna looked like Gokudera had just said he wanted to dive head first off Tokyo Tower sans bungee-cord. Actually the chance of survival was probably higher for a Tokyo Tower swan-dive than it was for Hibari-stalking.
"Sounds kinda fun." Yamamoto laughed, clearly not understanding the inherent danger of being within thirty feet of Hibari for any reason, much less a reason Hibari would not approve of.
"But what if we get caught?"
"It's not stalking, Juudaime, it's scientific observation in the name of... of... science." Gokudera frowned as it didn't come out as well as he'd wanted. "And we won't get caught."
"Sorry, but I'll have to pass." Tsuna told him waving his hand in a 'no way' gesture. "I kinda enjoy having all my bones unbroken."
"I'll help!" Yamamoto cheered waving his hand in a 'pick me, pick me' gesture. "This is like one of those mystery games, right?"
"It's not a game at all you moron!" Gokudera yelled at him. "And who said anything about wanting your help?"
"All three of you will do it." A voice piped up from beside Tsuna's elbow, startling Tsuna who jumped a foot in the air. "Mafia bosses are never surprised or taken unaware." Reborn chastised with a gun in his hand.
"R-right." Tsuna agreed before the rest of what Reborn had said caught up with him. "What?"
"It will be good training. It's important to know how to stalk people without them noticing you." Reborn said.
"Observe." Gokudera corrected. Reborn's gun was quickly leveled in his direction. "But, stalking works too Reborn-san."
"But, but, but, what if Hibari-san notices us?" Tsuna argued. "We'll be killed!"
"Then don't get caught. Not that it matters to me, either way you'll learn a good lesson."
"We're gonna die." Tsuna moaned as they all stood crouching around the corner of the entrance to Nami-chuu, waiting for Hibari to leave so they could carefully stalk – observe – him.
"We're gonna die, Hibari-san's gonna kill us, and my mom will have to bury her only son."
"We're not going to die." Yamamoto assured Tsuna with a pat to the shoulder and a bright smile. "I'm sure Hibari will only break a couple of bones or something."
"Shut-up." Gokudera hissed at Yamamoto before turning to Tsuna with what he thought was a reassuring smile, but smiles never sat well on Gokudera's face so it came off more awkward and uncomfortable than comforting. "Don't worry Juudaime! I'll protect you."
"That's what I'm afraid of." Tsuna mumbled wondering just how he was talked into this. Oh yeah, Reborn and his gun, because probable death at Hibari's hands for stalking him was still better than sure death at Reborn's hands for disobeying him.
That night was a full moon and the three of them had plans to follow Hibari and watch as either A) he turned into a werewolf, or B) slept. And yes, it felt just as weird as it sounded. Tsuna couldn't help but wonder what deity he'd pissed off in a past life to deserve this.
So far they had spent two hours waiting for Hibari to come out of the school. The fall winds were chill and the wall they leaned against was facing the wrong direction to buffer it. Tsuna couldn't help but wonder what exactly Hibari did after school that took two hours. All clubs and organizations had already dismissed and even the principal had left already.
"Where the hell is that bastard?" Gokudera muttered, lighting up a cigarette to warm his lungs.
"Hey, I thought you were quiting?" Yamamoto frowned as a shift in wind blew some of the rancid smoke his way.
"That's none of your business!" Gokudera yelled at him, eye and hand twitching dangerously, clearly wishing to be reaching for some dynamite to shove into very uncomfortable places in Yamamoto.
The wind shifted again and Tsuna coughed as he inhaled a large quantity of second-hand smoke. "Gokudera-kun, do you mind?" He said between coughs, waving his hand in front of his face to disperse the acrid smoke.
"I'm so sorry Juudaime!" Gokudera instantly crushed the cigarette under his foot as he bowed lowly to Tsuna. "I'll never smoke another cigarette again!" His proclamation echoed down the street as Tsuna sighed.
"Shouldn't we be quiet? What if Hibari-san comes out now?" Tsuna changed the subject, he still wasn't used to Gokudera's unwavering devotion and obedience.
"Ah! Sorry Juudaime! You're as insightful as ever!" Gokudera stage-whispered, looking properly chastised. Tsuna just shook his head and hunkered down for what turned out to be another half hour of waiting.
Tsuna was contemplating going home and (attempting) lying to Reborn about the whole stalk-Hibari-mission-thing, when a rattling at the school gates caught their attention.
Hibari and his personal, hulking shadow, Kusakabe, exited the school grounds, neither carrying a school bag. Tsuna thought vaguely that they probably didn't need school bags because the teachers would all be far too intimidated to dare give them homework. Hibari turned and locked the gates with a key from a large keyring. Tsuna had no doubt Hibari had threatened the principal into giving him copies of all the school keys.
The two stood talking for a few minutes, although they were too far for the three to make out what was being said before they turned in different directions, osbtensibly to walk home.
Tsuna, Gokudera, and Yamamoto waited a minute before stepping out from behind the wall to follow after Hibari. Tsuna looked to the sky as they carefully tracked behind the disciplinary officer. The sun was already beginning to set. Tsuna guessed he should be thankful that they wouldn't have to follow Hibari for long. Gokudera would give up once Hibari didn't turn into a werewolf when the moon rose, which, according to Gokudera who had looked it up prior this whole misadventure, was supposed to occur twenty-one minutes after the sun set.
"Where's he going?" Tsuna asked with a frown as Hibari turned towards on of the shopping districts of Namimori, rather than the residential areas. He did not want go trailing Hibari over half the city.
"Maybe he has to get groceries for his mom?" Yamamoto suggested, sometimes he picked up things for his dad after school.
"Does Hibari-san have a mom?" Tsuna wondered. All three of them stopped briefly to think this over. It seemed unlikely.
"He probably was raised by wolves before they bit him, turning him into the half-man, half-wolf that he is today." Gokudera theorized. Yamamoto started laughing while Tsuna just frowned in disbelief at his hot-headed friend.
"I really doubt that, Gokudera-kun. Are there even any wolves around here?" Tsuna thought they'd been told once in science class that wolves were extinct in Japan.
"Hey, you guys know we're losing him, right?" Yamamoto pointed out before Gokudera could begin explaining that they might have been escape circus wolves or something like that.
"Damn it!" Gokudera swore, racing off in the direction they last saw Hibari. Yamamoto jogged after him while Tsuna dragged his feet in following them both.
They caught up with Gokudera hiding behind what looked like a large potted palm tree near the entrance to the shopping arcade. Tsuna wondered where on earth someone had gotten a pot large enough for the twenty foot tree before turning his attention to what both Yamamoto and Gokudera were staring at.
Hibari was at the entrance to a butcher shop, arguing with what looked to be the owner. Well, it was less arguing and more Hibari handing down what seemed to be a lecture on the proper way to display goods in front of a shop. Eventually the owner bowed several times before running into his shop and returning with a large, paper-wrapped, side of beef.
Hibari accepted the offering graciously, and with one more reminder - warning - to follow the rules of the shopping arcade, left.
"What's he going to do with all that beef?" Yamamoto asked, looking awed at the twenty pounds of meat Hibari was carrying away.
"See! That's probably his dinner for the night, or maybe the appetizer before he finds a vandal or mugger to eat. He'll probably consume it raw, werewolves don't need to cook their food." Gokudera informed them. Tsuna rolled his eyes.
"Really?" Yamamoto said, sounding impressed. "So, do they like sushi then?"
"Who cares if they like sushi! Baseball-brain!" Gokudera growled at him.
"We're losing him again." Tsuna interrupted before it could turn into an all-out (if one-sided) fight.
They followed him through the rest of the arcade and to a large park. By this point the sun had set completely. Only the faintest traces of violet could still be seen to the west and stars were beginning to glimmer above. The park was creepy at night. The wind, that had only gotten chillier with the setting of the sun, rustled the left over leaves of the trees and caused those that had fallen to skitter across the concrete paths. Tsuna thought they sounded like dry bones rattling, and then cursed Reborn for making him watch that horror movie last night.
Hibari walked around a bend in one of the many pathways throughout the park and the three stalkers, or observers, walked after him. When they too took the turn though they were met with an empty path.
"Where did he go?" Yamamoto scratched at his head before leaning over the check in one of the bushes.
"He isn't going to be hiding in a bush, stupid!" Gokudera bit out. "It's your fault we lost him!"
"Huh? How is it my fault?" Yamamoto blinked innocently.
"Can we just go home now? I'm hungry." Tsuna whined, turning to do just that when he was brought up short by what was before him. "Hi-Hi-Hibari-san!" Gokudera and Yamamoto whirled around at this high-pitched exclamation
"Why were you three following me?" Hibari asked calmly even as he brought out his weapons. All three of them took a large step backwards.
"We were ju-just..." Tsuna stuttered to a stop. He really didn't know how to end that sentence. He couldn't say they were following him to find out if he was a werewolf!
"We're on to you Hibari!" Gokudera suddenly shouted as Tsuna was trying to figure out how to lie convincingly. "We know you're secret! You're a werewolf." He pointed a finger in accusation.
'He said it.' Tsuna thought. 'He really said it!'
For a coupled of minutes Hibari simply stared at them. The silence stretched awkwardly as Hibari seemed to be trying to figure out if they were serious.
"Is that the best you can come up with?" He eventually asked in a bland tone. "If you're going to lie you should do better than that." He looked almost disappointed.
'It's not a lie though.' Tsuna thought desperately, carefully backing up in preperation to run.
"I suppose your reasons don't matter. You were stalking me-"
"Observing!" interjected Gokudera. Hibari glared at him.
"Don't interrupt." Hibari admonished. "You were stalking me, which is against both Namimori's and Japan's laws, so now I'll have to discipline you."
Tsuna wondered if it was just his imagination or if Hibari's teeth had always been that sharp and that large as he smiled menacingly at them.
Tsuna groaned as he rolled over onto his back. Hibari had spent over half an hour beating them up and Tsuna was now sporting bruises over approximately ninety percent of his body, including his spleen, kidneys, and left big toe.
"Ha, I think Hibari took it easy on us." Yamamoto said as he got up on his elbows. One of his eyes was swollen shut and his shirt was torn. "I'm pretty sure these bruises will only last three weeks."
"Urgh." Gokudera spit on the ground, it was a pinkish color from the split in his lip. "I guess he's not a werewolf after all." He seemed incredibly disappointed.
"Yeah, the moon came up while he was beating us." Yamamoto said looking up to the bright silver moon in the sky.
"Let's just go home." Tsuna moaned, forcing himself to his feet. As he took the first step towards home a haunting howl sounded from somewhere in the park.
"I imagined that, right?" Tsuna asked after a moment.
"I'm sure it was just a dog." Yamamoto said, but he looked somewhat unsure.
"That was not a dog, moron." But the insult had to bite as Gokudera looked nervously around.
Another howl went up, closer than the first. The three exchanged quick glances.
"Maybe we should go, quickly." Tsuna suggested, the other two nodded in agreement.
A third howl was all it took to send them bolting for the park exit.
Author's Note: This was for the KHR Halloween Fic Exchange at LJ. I got Daigranon, who incidentally became my LJ friend about a week after the prompts were sent out, haha. On FF she goes by Nightsmoke. I'm sure you've read some of her fantastic stuff. I hope you like this Dai. I thought it was funny, but I've been told I have a weird sense of humor. And yes, the title is a Zevon reference. Anways, since I forgot about it I never did post it up here, haha.
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