Author: JimDimitri PM
This is the story of the manliest pony in all of Equestria, and how he changed the reign of Queen Celestia. Over the top spoof, based on a surprisingly-manly name that came from a random name generator. Rated T for language, one-shot.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 354 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 02-16-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6752035
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Once upon a time there was a pony named Duke Lionheart. He was the manliest pony in all of Equestria, and kicked asses wherever he went. He had the mane of a lion, and also the heart of one, some ponies said, but no one could ever find the shelf he kept it on. (Ponies were not very good at non-literal thinking back then. Or ever. Ponies were pretty dim, actually.)
Anyway, one day Queen Celestia came to him. "Duke Lionheart, I have need of your aid. My sister has challenged me for the throne, and -"
"SAY NO MORE, SUPREME GODDESS FIGUREHEAD. ASSES SHALL BE KICKED." The Duke roared as he slid his sunglasses on, striking out with a mighty ass-kicking hoof as he lept to the skies. (He also had 3 pairs of wings.)
Duke Lionheart soon found Queen Luna. "Oh, Duke! My sister is trying to take the kingdom from me; she wants to rule completely alone! She even said -"
"YO, I AIN'T GOT TIME TO DEAL. TIME FOR A LITTLE TIME OUT, MISS BITCHYPANTS." Boom zoom to the moon! went Queen Luna, and as she flew into orbit on account of his Supreme Ass Kicking Powers, Duke Lionheart caught her crown and settled it on his own head, among the ten others he currently wore.
"QUEENY." He said, striding back into the royal palace. "I HAVE MORE CROWNS THAN YOU AND I DON'T LIKE YOU TREATING YOUR SISTER BAD. YOUR SISTER IS MOE AS FUCK AND I AIN'T GONNA STAND FOR YOUR BULLSHIT NO MORE. I'M DEMOTING YOU TO 'PRINCESS' AND TAKING YOUR THRONE."
"You can't do that!" Now-Princess Celestia yelled, but even as she spoke, her crown floated off of her head and landed on Duke Lionheart's, sensing the greater kingliness in him. "You beast! Just you wait, soon I will return to my rightful place on the throne of Fillydelphia!"
"YEAH, WHATEVER." The Duke shrugged, watching the demoted princess storm out of the castle. "I WONDER IF THEY HAVE ANY DECENT COURT JESTERS ROUND HERE. I FUCKIN' LOVE THOSE GUYS."