|Alliance vs Horde
Author: DarthValgaav PM
Inspired by Red vs. Blue, this is the story of two forces at war with each other in Warsong Gulch. Be prepared for action, humor, and maybe a little love.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,688 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 05-21-13 - Published: 02-22-11 - id: 6768746
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Welcome to Alliance vs. Horde. I was originally a WoW fan, but then my girlfriend introduced me to Red vs. Blue. So I have created this marriage of the two. I hope everyone enjoys it and gets a lot of laughs.
It was a sunny day in the area known as Warsong Gulch. It was the kind of day that was meant to take it easy, lying in the sun as it rays warm you. But in this boxed in area of woods, the warriors couldn't relax. The Alliance forces in Silverwing Hold were there for one thing: stopping the Horde. They had to remain vigilant and ready for battle at any moment. These heroes were the shining light of the Alliance that children wished they could be like when they grew up.
"I just don't get it," said George C. Bush, a human mage. He wore bright yellow robes and the blue tabard of the Alliance. His blonde hair, which was parted in the middle, seemed to be brighter as the sunlight hit it. In his hand was a simple wooden staff with several markings engraved on it. Currently he was standing on the roof as he gazed out at the Gulch. "Why the hell am I here?"
"The answer to that is simple," said Mequinnix, a Draenei paladin. He too wore the blue Alliance tabard on top of his simple mail armor. Strapped to his back was a large, two handed copper mace. He also had a long black beard and matching black hair. His large neck tentacles rested on his chest. "We are here to spread joy and serve the Light. To help those in need and serve the Alliance."
"That's not what I meant!" snapped Bush. "I mean me, specifically. I'm here, risking my life for some trees. Seriously, I'm not into the whole 'going green' thing and I sure as hell don't want to die for it. And for that matter, I don't get why the Night Elves don't just let the Horde cut a few more of this dumb tree's down. We could set up a shopping center or something."
"But tree's are an important resource," said Mequinnix. "We mustn't let the Horde gain this area's wealth or else they might use it against us."
"I'm more worried about their weapons of mass destruction," said Bush as he crossed his arms. "While we waist time here, the Horde is building real weapons that can destroy an entire city."
"Who told you that?" asked Mequinnix.
"My daddy," replied Bush. As Mequinnix rolled his eyes, another eye was watching they from around the corner. A floating green eye with a yellow slit.
Meanwhile, by one of the small huts near the Hold, two other figures were watching them. Well, to be honest one was watching them and the other was trying. But it's the thought that counts.
"Shit, I can't see a thing," muttered Artie McTallon as he looked through the scope on his crossbow. The Undead rogue then lowered his weapon and sighed. Like the rest of his kind, Artie had pale, lifeless skin, dirty brown hair, and yellow eyes. He wore dark colored leather which included a leather mask that only hid the lower part of his face, shoulder pads that ended in a spike that pointed away from him, fingerless gloves, toeless boots, pants and chest piece. On his hips were two daggers. He also wore the red tabard of the Horde.
Artie looked over at the only other person fighting for the Horde. His name was Chogar and he was an Orc warlock. He had thin black hair and a black, wire like beard that seemed to point in all directions. His cloth robes were red with purple demonic patterns and he too wore the Horde tabard. On his back was a staff that had a skull at its top. Currently he was sitting cross legged, his eyes closed. With a sigh, Artie gave his teammate a push on the shoulder, causing his to open his eyes.
"Thrall's balls, what now?" demanded Chogar as he stood up.
"What are they doing?" asked Artie who didn't even flinch as the angry Orc raised his large fists at him.
"Let me get this straight," growled Chogar. "You made me cancel my spell just to ask me that?" Artie nodded. "Nothing! They have done nothing since they arrived here to stop our lumber operations. If they were doing something, I would have told your worthless hide."
"Very well then," said Artie as he turned around and began to walk away.
"And where do you think you're going?" demanded Chogar.
"Back to our base," said Artie. "Since their doing nothing, that means we should be preparing. We have two new recruits coming in soon and Lady Sylvanas is sending us one of her catapults to help us win. Besides, what's the point of spying on the enemy when all we ever learn is nothing?"
"Plenty!" shouted Chogar. His eyes widened and Artie slapped his forehead.
"Did you hear something," they heard Bush ask. Deciding it was better to make a run for it, the two began to make a mad dash for their base.
"Mequinnix! Bush! Get down here now!" yelled Corporal Blackhound, a Worgen warrior. His fur was black as night and his eyes were blood red. His left ear looked like someone or something had taken a bite out of it. He was clad in grayish plate armor and had two large two-handed swords on his back. He waited several moments before his two Privates finally arrived. Seeing Bush, Blackhound let out a low growl and bared his razor sharp fangs at his.
"Sorry it took us a while to get here sir," said Mequinnix as he stood at attention. "We thought we heard a noise outside the base."
"Find anything?" asked Blackhound. Mequinnix nodded.
"I spotted two figures running away from our base sir," said Mequinnix while looking proud.
"The cowardly Horde no doubt," said Blackhound.
"Of course it's the Horde," said Bush. "Who else would it be? It's not like there is anyone else here. Oh, before I forget, I have a letter for you Corporal from Alliance HQ." Bush reached into his robes and then pulled out a fancy looking letter with the symbol of the Alliance on it. He smiled and handed it to Blackhound who nearly ripped it out of Bush's hand. The Corporal opened it and proceeded to read it.
"Let's see here," muttered Blackhound. "It says here that I am to keep you away from any and all combat situations. Can't let someone like yourself who has noble blood get killed. And looky here, it's sighed by your father."
"Yes sir," said Bush with a boyish grin. However, it quickly faded as Blackhound tore up the letter. "Sir, that letter…"
"Is as real as the idea that the Horde doesn't want to kill us," growled Blackhound. "Look you bacon flavored buffoon, you got drafted into the Alliance army because you are a mage. Not a good mage, but a mage none the less. And with all the loses we sustained against the Litch King, we need all the help we can get. I don't care who your daddy is, but know that I will not let you see him until the war is won or your dead." He then stared at Bush for a moment and then sighed. "Most likely dead."
"This sucks," moaned Bush. "I only became a mage for the free food."
"And look what it cost you in the end," said Mequinnix. "It is as the Naaru say: Nothing comes without a price. Those who believe otherwise end up paying more in the end."
"Oh don't give me any of that Light crap," said Bush.
"The reason I called you both done here," said Blackhound as he got their attention. "I was to inform the both of you that we are getting some new recruits as well as a siege engine. And luckily for us, one of the new recruits just arrived. Allow me to introduce Shaudaria Nightcall. Come on out."
Moments later, a female Night Elf hunter walked in from the ramp entrance. She was tall with green hair that was tied into a pony tail. There were also markings on her face that looked like crescent moons. She was dressed in green leather and carried a bow in her hand while a spear was strapped to her back. She was also wearing the Alliance tabard. Walking next to her was a white tiger.
"A girl?" said a surprised Bush. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Excuse me?" said Shaudaria as she narrowed her eyes.
"Look, I'm sure your good with that little bow, but girls are useless in battle," said Bush as he crossed his arms.
"Says the mage who can't use fire or ice magic," said Mequinnix.
"Look you sexist little…" began Shaudaria until she spotted something on the ground with her keen eyesight. "SPIDER!" she screamed as she ran back towards the ramp. Bush looked around until he saw the little black spider that Shaudaria had seen. He walked over to it and the picked it up.
"See, she's afraid of this little guy," gloated Bush. "How will she handle an Orc?"
"I'm not afraid of spiders in general," said Shaudaria as she poked her head out the door way. "It's just that the spider you're holding is very poisonous." For a moment, no one said anything. Bush looked as pale as if he had seen his dead mother's ghost. He dared not move a muscle even to flick the eight legged sack of venom.
"Get the body bag ready," said Blackhound.
Artie and Chogar had finally reached their base only to find someone waiting there. It was a female Troll. She had bright red hair that was like a Mohawk but with braids. Her skin was bright blue and her tusks were a small. She wore a brown leather kilt and top as well as the Horde tabard. In her three fingered hand was a simple wooden staff.
"Yo mon," she said. "I be here to join ya in da battle for Warsong Gulch. Da name be Renjaz."
"Is that how you greet your superiors?" demanded Chogar as he caught his breath.
"Pay no attention to Chogar," said Artie as he extended his hand. Renjaz smiled and shook it. "I'm Artie McTallon. Right now we have no CO and everyone here is the same rank."
"Ha," barked Chogar. "We may be the same rank, but I'm the leader here because I'm the only Orc. And I would never follow this abomination of life or allow myself to be led by some weak Troll." Artie sighed.
"Seriously, are you going to be like that right off the bat?" he said to the Orc. "Ever since Garrosh became Warchief you Orcs think you're always in charge."
"I be thinkin' you need a little attitude adjustment mon," said Renjaz as her body began to change. Soon, she was replaced with a greenish-blue tiger like cat with the same hair style as she did in her original body.
"Fine then," said Chogar as a purple cube appeared above. "I will show you what happens when you face an Orc warlock!" Moments later he summoned a Felguard. It was a giant man like demon that was at least ten feet tall dressed in red armor except on his chest. Its skin was a grayish blue color and on its back were three curved spikes. In its right hand was a double bladed axe that looked like it needed to be held with both hands, but it was obvious to anyone who saw the creature that it only needed one. "I command you to skin that cat!"
"You cannot command me," stated the demon as he took a swing at Chogar. Luckily the Orc managed to dodge it and began to run from his own summoned creature.
"Ahh mon, what just happened?" Renjaz asked. Artie sighed.
"This happens every time," he explained. "Whenever he summons a demon, it turns on him. Personally, I think he sucks at it. But at least it's fun to watch." He then turned to face Renjaz only to see her trying to grab something with her paws. When he took a closer look, he noticed it was a reflection of light from of the buzz saws. "Ah, are you ok?" He saw her body jerk, as if she just got a hold of herself.
"Sorry mon," she said as she turned back to normal. "I just recently learned how to use da cat form and I still haven't gotten full control yet. Cat instincts be very powerful."
"Well," said Artie with a sigh, "welcome to Warsong Gulch."
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I would love to hear them.