Disclaimer: Well… I must admit… I own almost nothing… no, that's not true… I have a peanut. Would anyone like a peanut?

Ok… this is one of the beginning stories to my "Fairy Tale" series… THIS IS NOT A STORY ABOUT SNOW-WHITE. Ok… with that said… I'm not sure how many stories will be included in this "series"… ^.^ But that's alright… And, as is my habit, they will all be Yaoi/Shounen-Ai…

So I don't own the original story by Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm… but… well, though this is based on the original… my twisted humor strikes when I least expect it and I've modified the tale…

If there is a Fairy Tale you would like seen made into a Gundam W tale, feel free to tell me…I'm open to suggestions!

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 5x13

By: *~*Mezra*~* ()

Dedicated to: Wind… even though, sniff, you left me alone with your 3-paragraphs from done Digimon fic… to go on a cruise… sniff… without me…

To the song of: (ha ha, the song that *inspires* me and my muse…): I don't know the name… some Sailor Moon Japanese song… *shrugs* it's a cool song though! Ooo, I think its called "Search for Your Love"… yeah, that sounds right…

Snow-White and Rose-Red

Once upon a time, for of course, all stories must begin like this…

There was a poor widow who lived in a lonely little cottage. This widow was named Wufei. Unfortunately, his husband Treize had gone out to buy a rose bush and never came back. So, technically, no one really knew if he was dead or not. And, of course, Wufei was an extremely faithful wife. He didn't believe his husband was dead - not at all! In fact, he merely believed that poor Treize had been lost in the greenhouse of rose plants and was making a fortune somewhere in the bright world yonder. And, good or not, Wufei would wait (whilst ranting about justice) and patiently expect Treize's return. At least when Treize returned, Wufei would have the pleasure of knocking him over the head with a frying pan and locking him in the closet for a month.

Anyways… so there was a poor widow… I mean… wife who lived in a lonely little cottage. In front of the cottage there were two rose tree's, one of which was white and the other red roses. Wufei soon had two children, who were very much like those roses. Therefore, being one for creativity, Treize named the one child Snow-White and the other Red-Rose. More commonly, since children used to laugh at the "botanical brothers", they were called Quatre and Duo.

Snow-White was a lovely boy, with pale features and gold hair. He had large cerulean eyes, soft lips, and a very sweet personality. Red-Rose was a beautiful boy with long hair - often plated - with warm features and chestnut hair. He had large amethyst eyes and sweet lips. However, unlike his brother, he was a bit of a wild boy. Indeed, though, both boys loved laughter and peace. Quatre, though, preferred to drink tea and arrange flowers, while his brother enjoyed playing "Hell" (a variation of "House" and "Doctor"…) and eat… a lot.

They were as good and happy, as busy and cheerful as ever two children in the world were. Only Snow-white (whom we shall now refer to as Quatre) was more quick and gentle than Rose-red (whom we shall now refer to as Duo.) Duo liked better to run about in the meadows and fields seeking flowers and catching butterflies; but Quatre sat at home with his mother and helped him with the housework, or read to him when there was nothing to do.

The two children were so fond of each other that they always held each other by the hand when they went out together. And when Quatre said, "We will not leave each other," Duo answered, "Never so long as we live." Now, mind you, this is not a tale of familial bonds going beyond the scope of what is rational. They simply were very fond of one another and were a unique pair of brothers. And Wufei would say, as was his wont, "What one has, they must share with the other… THAT is justice, my lads."

Occasionally, they loved to run into the forests and gather berries. As they gathered, they made friends with all the little woodland creatures. And because this is a fairy tale of the highest extreme, they would dance with the little animals; often times, they would even HAND feed them. In their forest, there was no understanding of rabies. In fact, rabies (and other germs detrimental to ones health) did not even exist.

Occasionally, they would sleep in the forests, but they were always guarded by angels and fairies, and so there was no need for alarm. Besides, like Wufei always said, "If it hurts you, lop its head off with your pocket scimitar. Ah, that is justice, my lads." And so no creature, big or small (and even mother nature herself) didn't dare to hurt even a hair on either boys fair heads.

One evening, as they were thus sitting comfortably together, someone knocked at the door to be let in.

Wufei said, "Quick, Duo, open the door. It must be either your father (that vagabond!) or a traveler wishing for shelter."

Duo went and pushed back the bolt, thinking that it was a poor man, but it was not; it was a bear that stretched his broad, black head within the door.

Duo screamed and looked for a nice scythe to beat it over the head with, but he noticed that his weapon of mass destruction was missing from its usual post by the door. He scrambled back, fell over their pet lamb (who was seen never seen or mentioned again), and stared wide eyed. Quatre hid behind Wufei's bed. But the bear began to speak.

"Do not be afraid, I will do you no harm! I am half-frozen, and only want to warm myself a little beside you."

"Poor bear," said Wufei, "lie down by the fire, only take care that you do not burn your coat." Then he cried, "Snow-White, Rose-Red (for it was with strange affection that he kept the names that Treize had curse-er-blessed his children with)! Come out, the bear will do you no harm, he means well."

Apparently, it was either a normal occurrence to have carnivorous mammals coming to them in the middle of the night - or - perhaps Wufei simply liked bears.

Soon, the bear was quite at home.

"Come, children, knock the snow from my coat."

So Duo and Quatre atta… I mean… grabbed brooms and swept the bear clean of the snow. After that little mishap, everyone soon grew to love everyone else, and the wicked witch really DID eat Hansel and Gretel. It was not long before the two boys were playing with their guest. They tugged his hair with their hands, put their feet upon his back, or beat him with a fire poker. When he growled, they only laughed. But the bear was good-natured, and so he only growled playfully but didn't eat them. When they were too rough, though, he spurted out a nice little limerick - though he wasn't really Irish or Scottish.

"Snowy-White, Rosy-Red…

Will you beat your lover dead?"

Now, some may think that the bear was a bit presumptuous to think that the two were his lovers… and its not like he got their names right (though that may go to the credibility of rhyme scheme)… but anyhow. That's what he said.

He slept by the fire, and in the morning, the boys let him out to trot into the forest.

Henceforth, the bear came every evening at the same time, and laid himself in front of the fire. Sometimes, he would have a nice little shot of whiskey or brandy with Wufei, and other times he would allow Quatre to play 'tea-time' with him. However, he was forced to refuse Duo's desire to teach him to 'play dead.'

When the Spring came and everything outside grew green, the bear said one morning to Quatre, "Now I must go away, and cannot come back for the whole summer."

Saddened by the loss, Quatre's eyes filled with tears and he sniffled.

"Where are you going, dear bear?"

"I must go into the forest and guard my treasures from wicked dwarfs. In the winter, the earth is frozen hard, they are then obliged to stay underground. But now the ground is thawed, and so they will be up to their mischievous acts of thievery once more."

Staring, Quatre's tears stopped as he realized the bear had said a whole 2 sentences! Usually, the bear just said, "…" and therefore conveyed all anyone needed to know.

Quatre was quite sorry that the bear was going away, and he sniffled more as he unbolted the door to let the bear out. However, as the bear was hurrying out, he caught against the bolt and a piece of his hairy coat was torn off. Quatre wasn't sure, but he could've sword that he saw a flash of silver underneath that fur! The bear ran quickly away, and was soon out of sight behind the trees.

Now, Quatre (due to Wufei's wishes) wore all white and his brother wore black… with red, of course… even though Wufei really hated red. But, since he did like white, he and Treize had once compromised on the colors the boys would wear. One day, they were both sent into the forest to get firewood. Annoyingly enough, Quatre went out with his white dress on. But since this is a fairy tale, we ought not to worry about minor details. After all, that's what bleach is for. Gets out nasty grass stains…

Now, they were coming through the forest when they heard some weird noises! Going towards the noises, they finally found a little ugly man named Quinze! Quinze was thrashing around on top of a log, for he had gotten his beard stuck! After much verbal abuse, Duo finally whipped out his tiny scythe and cut the dwarf loose.

"What the HELL was THAT for?!?! Is that civil, you idiots, to go around the forest and CHOP OFF PEOPLES BEARDS?!?"

Then he grabbed his bag of gold, hoisted it over his shoulder, and took off. Looking at one another, Quatre and Duo raised their eyebrows.

"Weiiiiirdo…" said Duo.

"Oh yeah," said Quatre.

And so they continued on with their lives. Everyday, though, Quatre missed the bear. His brother remarked that it was a true shame that the bear was gone, but that Quatre shouldn't worry. Winter would be upon them soon enough.

Once again, they were in the forest when they found Quinze once again. Quinze had been fishing, when his beard entwined with the fishing line and he was being pulled into the lake by one MONSTER of a trout. Now, we at the Fairy Tale HQ condone killing in these tales… nah. No, we don't.

Anyways. So Duo whipped out his scythe once more and cut the dwarf free.

"ARGH! Do you think its FUNNY to disfigure ones face? CURSE YOU!"

And with that, he stomped off with his bag of pearls.

Now, once again, Quatre and Duo were walking through the woods. And low and behold, who should they see but Quinze! Gasping, Quatre noticed that a giant rock eagle was bearing the dwarf away! So Quatre pulled out his handy tea set, took the tray, and beat the bird over the head till it let go of Quinze.

"YO YO YO! What are you DOING?!?! You just got my NICE, NEW coat all torn and soiled! **** you!"

For the dwarfs language was becoming much to inappropriate for THIS story.

And then off Quinze ran with his sack of precious stones.

The boys, who were very much used to Quinze's thankless verbal abuse, shook their heads and did a universally rude gesture (except in Zoonodleopia).

As they crossed the swamp and began traveling home, they surprised the dwarf who was emptying his bag of precious stones into a clean spot and admiring the way they sparkled in the warm sunlight. They were so beautiful as they lay there sparkling in all the colors of the rainbow, that the boys could only stand and stare in amazement. Quinze turned and looked at them, face turning red with rage.

"Why you… *** bleep - censored - bleep***… what the ***bleep bleep* are you *bleep*-ing standing there *bleep*-ing looking at?"

He was about to continue with his vile and tasteless language when there was a loud growl and a black bear came trotting towards them. Quinze sprang up and ran for his cave in fright, but it was too late. Quinze, then, tried verbal contact.

"I come in peace! I mean… umm… Dear Mr. Bear, spare me! I will give you all of my treasures, see how lovely it is! Besides, you would not want a slender fellow like me! You would hardly be able to taste between your… oh my… very large teeth! (*insert Red Riding Hood pun* "What better teeth to eat you with, dwarf!") Why don't you eat those two wicked boys over there, who - by the way - are cross-dressing in this tale? They are sure to be tender morsels!"

But for all his verbosity, it was just too late. The bear, in a nice fluid movement, STEPPED on Quinze and SQUISHED him flat like a pancake.

The boys were going to run away, but the bear called to them… well, one of them.

"Quatre! Don't be afraid, wait, I will come with you!"

And Quatre knew his voice and so he waited, and Duo stopped and waited as well. And poof! Like magic, because that's what it was, the bear STOOD up and his bear skin fell off!

There stood a VHB (very handsome bishounen), with a strange unibanged hairstyle and marvelous emerald green eyes! And he was dressed all in silver, with wonderfully tight pants on.

For the prince was, in fact, the son of a very rich King! But sadly, the Prince (aka: Trowa) was bewitched by a wicked dwarf and his treasures were stolen. And the only way that Trowa would get free was through the dwarf's death. Therefore, he smushed the dwarf and regained his true form.

And so Quatre was married to Trowa. HOWEVER…

At the pre-wedding shower, Duo met Trowa's BROTHER. And Trowa's brother was also a VHB. Heero, a messy dark-haired boy with cobalt blue eyes, seemed to take a liking to Duo's long braid. And so the two latched onto one another (quite literally, actually) and they were also to be wed. So they all had a nice joint wedding, and they all moved into a SUPER huge castle. And I mean *BIG*, baby.

And Wufei came to live with them, and found out that Treize was the gardener for the King! For he had indeed gotten lost, and had been working off the debts he had incurred whilst trying to take a taxi home. Then Wufei grabbed Treize and joined him in the closet, where justice and punishment were served.

Wufei and Treize lived happily with their children (and sons-in-laws), and planted the rose tree's from home. Every year, these rose tree's would bear even more beautiful roses - white and red.

And… in classical form…

Everyone lived happily every after…

Except for Quinze. Because, if you remember, he died. Smushed, actually.

--~--- The End ---~--