|All the World's a Stage
Author: korvascus PM
When Fonzi and the gang notices there are no toilets in the bathroom at Arnold's, it's only the first sign that all is not as it seems in their 'Happy' little world.Rated: Fiction K - English - Sci-Fi/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,003 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 05-31-11 - Published: 03-06-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6801439
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Arthur "Fonzi" Fonzarelli was in the bathroom at Arnold's combing his hair in the mirror when a sudden wave of nausea overcame him. He rushed for one of the stalls and threw the door open, only to discover that the toilet was missing. The stall was completely empty, just the tiled floor of the bathroom.
Thankfully, the nausea had passed by this point, but now Fonzi was a might confused. It didn't look as if a toilet had ever been there. But that was crazy; he had used this toilet plenty of times. He walked into the stall to take a closer look, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He even went so far as to bend down to better examine the floor.
"Hey Fonz, whatcha doing?"
The voice startled him so much he jumped and spun around.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," His best friend Richie Cunningham said.
"What happened to the toilet?" he asked Richie.
"Huh?" Richie asked as he took a long suck from the straw sticking out of the soda he had in his hand.
"The toilet's gone," Fonzi said, indicating the empty stall.
"So it is," Richie said looking at the indicated space. "That's okay though. I don't think I've ever needed to use it. Come on, the burgers are ready."
Fonzi followed Richie out of the bathroom. Now that Richie had mentioned it, he couldn't recall having ever used the toilet himself. But that was ridiculous; he spent so much time here he must have used it before. But try as he might, he couldn't even remember what color the toilet was.
He was feeling slightly concerned for his sanity when he slid into the booth next to Richie. Ralph Malph and "Potsie" Webber were across the table from them.
"Hey Fonz, why do you look so down?" Ralph asked him as he took a bite of his burger.
That snapped Fonzi out of it. He couldn't allow his friends to see him vulnerable.
"Just thinking, Donny," he said as he took a bite of his own burger.
"What did you call me?" Ralph asked.
Fonzi was now really confused. For a second he could have sworn that his friends' name was Donny "I, uh…" He tried to save face in front of his friends, but he was failing miserably. "I don't know," he said at last.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Ralph asked, this time with real concern in his voice.
"Something just feels a bit off today that's all," he replied.
"What like you're sick or something?" Potsie asked.
"I can't quite explain it, more like something's off with the world."
"What do you mean?" Potsie asked.
"Well, for instance, the toilet in the men's room is gone."
"Was there ever one in there?" Ralph asked.
"What do you mean? Where do you pee?" Fonzi shot back irritated.
Ralph paused to consider this. But before he could say anything Potsie spoke up. "Maybe some music will cheer you up Fonzi."
Fonzi felt like music wouldn't do a damn thing, but he felt he was beginning to concern his friends, so he figured he'd give it a try it.
Getting up he went over to the jukebox and gave it his customary whack. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing.
He looked down at his hand and then back at the jukebox. That cut it; something was definitely wrong here. He turned around to look at his friends and they were all staring at him open-mouthed.
"You must be sick Fonzi," Richie said to him.
"Yeah," Ralph added. "I don't think I've ever seen that not work for you before."
"Maybe I should go home and lay down," Fonzi said as he grabbed for his wallet to pay for his food.
What came out though was not his wallet. It was a wallet, but not his.
"What's wrong now Fonz?" Richie asked when he saw the strange look Fonzi was giving the wallet.
"This is not my wallet," he said.
"That's strange," Richie said. "Whose is it?"
Fonzi fished out the driver's license and looked at it. It was his own mug smiling back at him but the name was Henry Winkler, it was a California license, not a Wisconsin one, and the expiration date was 1979, more than twenty years away from the current date.
"Well?" Richie asked him.
"Take a look," Fonzi said and tossed him the License.
"Henry Winkler," Richie read out loud. "He looks just like you."
"A long lost twin brother?" Ralph asked jokingly.
"Check the expiration date," Fonzi said.
"1979!" Richie exclaimed.
Suddenly Fonzi had a thought. "Hey guys take out your wallets."
"What?" Potsie and Ralph asked at the same time.
"Just do it," Fonzi demanded.
After they complied he asked them, "Are those your wallets?"
"I'm not sure," Ralph said as he looked at his.
"I don't think so," Potsie said confusedly.
"Look at the Drivers licenses," Fonzi continued.
"Anson Williams," said Potsie.
"Ronald Howard," Richie said.
"Donald Most," Ralph read his. "Hey," Ralph said. "You called me Donny a moment ago. Is this some sort of trick you're playing on us Fonz?" he asked nervously, as if hoping that was all that it really was, for he was beginning to get scared.
All of a sudden Richie's head popped up as realization dawned in his eyes. "There's no toilet in the bathroom!"
"No toilet in the bathroom!" Ralph and Potsie echoed.
And just like that, the three of them jumped up and raced into the bathroom.
A moment later they came back to the table, confusion and consternation in their eyes.
Richie was the first to voice their concerns. "What the heck is going on here?"