December 8, 1892

John,

Part of me hopes you never find this letter-that I may recover and that there will be no need for these words. But I have a feeling, a sinking, dreading feeling that things will not work out the way I wish they would.

You have been so kind to me. From the day we first met on that glorious treasure hunt, I knew that you truly were the definition of a gentleman. I will forever love the way you whistle in the mornings and smile at me from your desk across the room. I smile now, thinking of your impish sense of humor and that mischievous glint in your eye as you mimic the behavior of the ladies from my sewing circle.

You have given me so much over the years. They have been happy times. I do not want them to end so soon, but I feel that something is coming. I am ill most days and pallor in mind the rest. Please look back on our time spent together with fondness of heart, and not bitterness for the shortness of their number.

These last few weeks with our darling little girl have been some of my most beloved. I cherish the way you dote on her and have a feeling that she will be spoiled rotten. There is so much a father can do for his children; please raise our daughter well. I have given this a lot of thought and I know it will be difficult to go at this alone; and if, by chance, you are ever ready, I give you my blessing to marry again. You deserve to love and be loved and I am torn with pain that it is not intended for me to be the recipient of your devotion.

You have such a loyal heart, John, and I understand it will be difficult for you to carry on. I have watched you struggle with the grief over the loss of your dear companion, Mr. Holmes, and I do not want you to waste away in anguish. Above all else, be strong for me, John. Be strong for our daughter. Do not shun her or treat her harshly. She has nothing to do with my health.

I know the notion of cruel treatment would never enter your head; you are going to be a loving and wonderful parent. (But I am quite firm in my belief that she will be spoiled terribly.) Do not do everything for her-let her grow up with grace and full of charity. Watch her impulses and encourage her every step of the way. Remember that she is part of you; and when that stubborn temper flashes, count to one and twenty and start over again with a gentle touch.

Do not be afraid to go to others for help. I know that child rearing is primarily a female role, and should you advertise for a governess or nanny, please seek one that is kind hearted and firm in a good upbringing.

I hope that this is something you never have to read, but just in case,

Your loving and forever

Mary