|Adventures of the Writer!
Author: Der Blaue Wolf PM
When the writer is kidnapped by Yaoi fangirls, Miku and the other 'loids must save him, before all of fanfiction falls to the yaoi, and Kaito ends up *censored*ing Len. This is Blasphemy, this is madness. This IS PARODY! Completed. Now with added extras.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Miku H. & Luka M. - Chapters: 57 - Words: 79,471 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 02-18-12 - Published: 03-12-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6818097
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Save the Writer, Ch2
Location, time, date and any other useful information unknown.
Wolfie: Tied up, with his hands chained to the arms of the chair he has been placed on, "So Derrick, you're going to try hacking into my laptop, and then use it to re-write all my stories as yaoi? Seriously, with your rabid hoard of fellow fangirls, could you not have just, I don't know, written some yaoi yourself?"
Derrick: "Yes, but this is more evil!"
Wolfie: "So what? Being evil isn't always the best way to get something done. Trust me, I've tried, and it doesn't always work."
Derrick: "Well what do you think I should do then?"
Wolfie: Thinks before answering, "Let me go, return my laptop, then go buy yourself a shit load of yaoi doujin to share with your friends, and leave my fics alone."
Derrick: "How come I'm leading us and not you? That sounds like a perfect plan!"
Wolfie: "Because I'm a straight male, and thus have no interest in yaoi."
Derrick: "Oh yeah, and that is why, as a principle, I can't take your advice."
Wolfie: "Your loss, but I still have writer's privileges. Scene change time!"
Derrick: "No, don't do tha..."
Back where we left them, our (arguable) heroes are busy trying to come up with a plan to defeat the yaoi fangirls, with limited success.
Miku: "Okay, what the hell do we do?"
Luka: "We could always put 'Derrick' into the fanfic search engine..."
Miku: "Luka, willing as I am to try anything right now, I don't think she'd make it that easy for us to find her. Also, I already tried, and it came up with five profiles, no yaoi whatsoever."
Kaito: "We could always just wander around until we get a random encounter..."
Miku: "Kaito, shut up."
Kaito: "Yes princess."
Luka: "We need to work out where a yaoi fangirl would be likely to go... or who would know how to defeat one..."
Miku: "Okay, here's my idea, we split into three groups, one group will hunt for some way to defeat the yaoi fangirls, another will search for their base, so that we can kick the bitches' asses, and the last will... uh... make the tea?"
Luka: "You just don't want to be anywhere near Kaito do you?"
Miku: "You got me."
Meiko: "Fear not, I'm here to keep him in order!"
Miku: "Meiko? Where'd you come from?"
Meiko: "Oh, I was having a drinking party with Haku, but she left, so I came to find you guys. So you're having a problem with yaoi fangirls are you? I conveniently know how you can beat them."
Miku & Rin & Len & Luka & Kaito: "HOW?"
Meiko: "Well, I don't know how exactly myself, but I know who can tell you. The great prophet of the internet, known to us only as the server-master."
Miku: "How do we find him?"
Meiko: "First, you must find the three great keys of the internet, scattered throughout the many countless areas of the internet... or at least somewhere."
Luka: "Okay so where do we need to look?"
Meiko: "First, the Key of Trolls, found within /b/ on 4chan! Second, the Key of XXX, found within the depths of the nearest available H-site! Third, the Key of Anime and Gaming, found within the Japanese servers! Bring them together at the Gate of Fandom, and you shall meet with the Server-Master!"
Miku: "Are you sure?"
Meiko: "I dunno, I might just have ripped off something while drunk, but still, better than what you have at the moment."
Miku: "True... okay! Luka, you and I shall venture to 4chan, Rin and Len, you must go to Japan to find their key, and Kaito and Meiko, you two must deep into hentai to retrieve the last key."
Kaito: "Me... with her... into an h-site...?"
Miku: Smiling innocently, "Yes."
Meiko: "That's precisely what I was planning."
Miku: "Well, there's no time to be lost. Len, Rin, don't waste too much time *censored*ing okay? And Meiko, don't force yourself on Kaito... too much."
Len & Rin: "We won't!" Run towards a conveniently placed sign saying 'Japan, this way.'
Luka: "I'm surprised the net is this well signposted. Well Miku, lead the way." Leaves, following Miku.
Kaito: "So I guess we'd better be going too..." Shudders, "Come on then Meiko."
Meiko: "Hehehe, now I have Kaito all to myself!"
Kaito: "Oh shit."
And so, our (kinda) heroes venture off to retrieve the three internet keys. Their fates is now in the hands of the server, may they complete their task in one piece and return to their homes.
Wolfie: "A~nd... scene shift!"
Derrick: "How do you do that when you don't even have your laptop."
Wolfie: "I'm the writer, you don't seriously think that without my laptop I'm powerless do you?"
Derrick: "Then how come you haven't escaped yet."
Wolfie: "Because, in case you'd forgotten, you've surrounded me with more yaoi than I thought previously possible to fit within a person's view."
Derrick: "Oh yeah, so yaoi weakens you? Isn't that kinda homophobic?"
Wolfie: "No, only yaoi that shouldn't exist given the character's sexual preferences as made clear by their original media weakens me, as it's completely stupid."
Derrick: "And yet you're fine with yuri? Isn't quite a lot of that the same?"
Wolfie: "Yes but shut up."