|Arms Wide Open
Author: LaraWinner PM
Duo&Hilde songfic. I'm not sure what genre to put this under cuz it's pure fluff!!!!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Words: 3,852 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 09-03-00 - id: 68194
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER: I don't own gundam wing or any of it's characters. I don't even own my car so don't sue me*_*
Arms Wide Open
Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
Duo heard footsteps nearing the garage. Hilde must be back from the doctors, he thought. As he fiddled with the broken radio in front of him he tried to stop the anxiety that started to creep through him. She had gone to the doctors because she had been sick lately. At first she had tried to play it off as being nothing. Then she had tried to hide it from him but he knew she barely kept anything she ate down and he could definitely see she was white as a ghost.
After two weeks of seeing her like this he had finally demanded she go to the doctor and he didn't take no for an answer. Her appointment had been this morning and he'd been worried all day. He had to think logically, considering who he was there was always his curse hanging over her head and if he ever lost Hilde……..We'll, he just didn't want to think about what he'd do.
Coming up behind him she wrapped her arms around his waist. He relaxed into her touch and placed his hands over hers.
"Just give me two seconds." He said as he tried in one last vain attempt to comprehend the instructions for the restoration of an old transistor radio that had been giving him problems for the last month.
"Give it up, you'll never fix it! You know, the 'God of Death' can admit defeat for once." She giggled
"Never!" he said his voice filled with mock horror at such a suggestion.
He turned to face her as he wrapped his own arms around her. He looked down at her face and his heart flipped in his chest. It always did that, whenever he was this close to her or when ever she would smile at him. In his opinion she was the most beautiful girl in the world and he still didn't know how he'd gotten the luck to find her.
"What did the doc say?" he asked almost fearfully.
"Good news and bad news." She replied seriously.
"What's the bad news?" he asked not bother to hide the alarm in his voice. His arms tightened around her as he tried to calm the frantic beating of his heart. He was suddenly terrified.
"$180 credits for a blood test only to find out that I'm in perfect health." She said glaring. As her words registered he glared back at her sternly.
"That's all? When you said bad news you scared the crap out of me!" he said.
"Well don't you want the good news?" she grinned.
"Yeah." He said.
"I'm in perfect health but there is a reason I've been sick lately. It's nothing to worry about, just a natural reaction to my condition." She said blushing.
"What condition?" he asked completely confused.
"Prepare yourself Mr. Maxwell because in seven months your gonna be a daddy." She whispered.
His eyes widened in shock and his jaw dropped. He was going to be a father! How in the world did this happen? Okay, he knew how it happened and remembered vividly, but this was definitely a surprise. They did want kids eventually but they just got married four months ago and they were only 20 years old. He felt slightly afraid. This wasn't a joke this was real and they were going to be the parents of a child. The poor kid!
He noticed her apprehensive expression and smiled reassuringly. How could he reassure her when he was just as scared? Maybe because no matter how scared he was he had never in his life been happier than he was at this moment.
"You're mad aren't you?" she asked in a small voice. He looked down at her and his expression softened even more.
"No babe I'm not mad, I'm just……," he tried to continue but his voice cracked and he closed his eyes resting his forehead against hers, "really scared." He whispered.
"So am I, but we can do this. We can be good parents, we just have to try our hardest." She said as a determined smile crossed her lips.
"God help us!" he sighed. He felt her arms tighten around him as he rested her head against his chest.
"I'm happy about this, Duo, I really am!" she laughed excitedly.
"Yeah, me too." He said grinning as he tilted her face up and he pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss.
I close my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
Unable to sleep, Duo slipped silently out of bed and walked over to the window. He gazed out at the night sky as his thoughts ran around in his mind. His shock was slowly wearing off and more and more worries were entering his mind by the second. His eyes slipped closed as he did the one thing he hadn't done since he was a child. He prayed silently.
**God, please lead me in the right direction. I've never done this before and I'm scared I'm gonna mess up. This is a big responsibility that I don't know if I can handle. Please just give me the courage to face this and give me the patience to work for this. I want to be a good father. Please help me.**
Turning from the window he opened his eyes he let his gaze wander to his sleeping wife. He couldn't begin to describe the emotions filling him. Without her he would be lost and he knew that. She was the one who had shown him how to trust and how to love without fear. She was the one who stuck by him through thick and thin. She was the one who loved him completely. Now they were going to make their dreams a reality and start a family.
Suddenly tears filled his eyes as he made his way back to the bed. Lying down beside her, he gently pulled her against him and he smiled through his tears as she unconsciously snuggled closer to his warmth. She was his everything. She was his heart and he loved her more than words could describe. He had never opened up to anyone like he did to her. She knew the person he was on the inside and still loved him. He would never be able to tell her just how much she meant to him.
"I love you." He whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Closing his eyes he drifted off to sleep in blissful contentment.
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Four months later Duo watched Hilde from the doorway of their bedroom. She was standing beside the crib they had set up in the corner of the room. Her eyes were closed and she was listening to the wind up musical carousel that hung above the crib. She had the most serene smile on her face and he didn't want to disturb her. He was more than content to watch her.
The music ended but she continued humming to the tune as she rubbed her rounding stomach absently. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the blinds as the shadows played across her features. It was then that he noticed the tears that were streaming down her pale cheeks.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly as he crossed the room to stand beside her. She abruptly stopped humming as she opened her eyes and smiled at him nodding her head.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just a hormone thing." She answered vaguely, not meeting his eyes.
"Tell me what's wrong, please?" he asked as he reached up and wiped away her tears.
"Nothing's wrong, I just feel depressed sometimes and I get the urge to cry. The doctor said that's normal." She said as she leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Suddenly she gasped and her hands flew to her stomach. She looked up at him wide eyed with a grin slowly spreading on her lips. Grabbing his hand she pressed it against her stomach and his own eyes widened as he felt the distinct kick against his palm.
"This is the first time he's done this." She whispered excitedly.
Duo smiled as he continued to stare at her stomach. His heart felt like it was going to burst from the swell of love he felt for their unborn child. It didn't matter to him if it was a boy or a girl. The kid could have pink hair and it wouldn't make a difference in the least. He already loved that child and he hadn't even laid eyes on it yet. He knew that this was and probably would be the only good thing he would do in his entire life and he sure as hell was going to do he best he could to give their child what it deserved. Or die trying.
Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
"Duo, wake up!"
Duo opened his eyes to the feel of two insistent hands shaking his arm. He blinked his bleary eyes at the figure beside him. As he focused on the familiar face he struggled to get his mind functioning.
"What time is it?" he muttered.
"Time to get me to the hospital." Hilde replied breathlessly.
"Hospi…….Oh shit!" Duo cursed as he bolted upright with an almost panicking expression oh his face.
Jumping out of the bed he started hastily throwing his clothes on while at the same time trying to remember everything they were told to bring. His mind was whirling.
From there on everything was a blur. He vaguely remembered speeding to get to the hospital, then doctors taking over the minute they wheeled her into the ER and then being told to wait here till they got her settled. There was only one thing that stuck out in his memory as he moved about the waiting room pacing back and forth. Her clear blue eyes glazed with pain and pleading with him to do something to help her. But there was nothing he could do but hold her hand and gun the accelerator. Now he was left with that vision to torment him.
But that wasn't the only thing flying through his mind. He was also very aware of the fact that this was it, no more waiting and no more planning. Whether he was ready or not he would be a father very soon. He didn't have a clue as to how to go about raising a child. There was no self-help book descriptive enough and there was no school to go to that would give you all the answers. All he could do was take all he'd learned about life and give that to his child. Too bad he'd only recently seen the good things life had to offer.
Then not to mention kids were worse than pets. They required a whole lot more responsibility and he really didn't think he was that mature yet. True he'd lost his innocence at a young age but he was still a kid at heart, kind of making up for lost time. With that in mind, what in the world could he give his child that would be of any benefit? A good sense of humor was about the only asset Duo had that was worth sharing. He had no intention of ever teaching his kid how to pilot a mobile suit. He had no intention of teaching his kid how to steal or kill. He had no intention of teaching his kid how to hate.
He sighed and closed his eyes as he flopped down in an uncomfortable plastic chair. He had never felt this unsure of himself in his entire life. He had never felt this unworthy before. This was his ultimate dream; to one day have the family he never had as a child. This was the one thing he wanted most in the world and yet this was his greatest fear too. What if he failed them in some way? What if he made an unforgivable mistake? What if he were to loose them? That would kill him.
The 'God of Death' was scared to live. As the thought crossed his mind he realized just how true it was. He was afraid to be happy. He was afraid to believe that all would be well. He was afraid to believe that he could actually be a good person. He was terrified to give it all a chance.
I'll take a breath, take her by my side
We stand in awe; we've created life
After what seemed like an eternity he was finally led to Hilde's room. He took a seat in the chair beside the bed and as he took her hand in his, her eyes opened and focused on him. He smiled and squeezed her hand in reassurance. He could again see the pain reflected in her eyes. She was pale and sweat was streaming down the side of her face as another contraction came.
He grimaced as her hand clamped around his in a death grip. He ignored the feel of her nails digging into his skin. He felt helpless as he watched her fight against the pain that was racking her body. Then he felt her go limp as the pain finally died way again.
"I can't take anymore." She whispered as tears flooded her eyes.
"I know it hurts but they said it helps if you breathe." He said hoping what the nurse had told them was true.
"Screw breathing! You try pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon and then tell me if breathing helps!" she snapped. He paled at her description and silently thanked God that he wasn't a woman.
"Sorry." he replied, but even as he spoke she tensed again in another wave of pain. God, he hated seeing her like this.
He lost track of time as he sat there watching her suffer. With each contraction she seemed to become weaker. At some point she had stopped squeezing his hand and fighting the pain. As she cried silently Duo followed the doctor's instructions and helped her sit up bracing her against his chest. He brushed her damp bangs out of her eyes as he tried to coax her to do what the doctor said.
"Come on baby, you have to push." He whispered.
"I can't." She whimpered.
"Yes you can. Just give one big push. Its almost over, I promise." He swore softly.
Giving her as much leverage as he could he held her as she pushed with the last of her strength. At the sudden sound of their child's loud crying she fell back against him. Keeping his arms around her he looked down into her eyes and smiled.
"It's a boy." Said the nurse as she placed the wrapped bundle in Hilde's arms.
Duo stared down at his son his pure amazement. The baby was so tiny and his little chubby face was red and he was screaming with the best set of lungs Duo had ever heard. He stroked the baby's cheek gently and smiled as a tiny fist grabbed his finger. From what Duo could tell the baby looked just like him except he had the same pale ice blue eyes as his mother and a little patch of black fuzz on his head.
" He's beautiful." Hilde whispered in awe.
"Yeah." Duo choked as tears welled in his eyes.
"We need a name." She said softly.
"What do you think of Nicholas?" He asked.
"Nicholas Peter Maxwell, I like it." She said as she smiled.
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Duo never thought he could love something as much as he loved his son. In the two months since Nicholas' birth Duo had changed in so many ways it was scary. His son taught him how to look at life from a different perspective. In all his years he had never thought his life could be this perfect. He wasn't rich and he wasn't famous, though being a Gundam pilot did get him recognition, he didn't need all the fancy trappings that went with having the "perfect life". He had everything he wanted and needed right in front of him. He had always known that Hilde was the one but he never thought he really had a chance. Now as he looked at his son he realized that life is only what you make it. You set your own limits and you have to fight and work for what you want. He had fought and he had set his limits and now he had more to live for than he could ever have imagined. Now his only hope was that he could teach his son the world through the eyes of love and not hate.
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open
All his life Duo had carried this chip on his shoulder. When he was a child he had to steal to survive. He had to be the toughest and the meanest if wanted to live. He never had a family and he would try and ignore the pangs of longing when he would see happy family's walk down the street. He didn't understand then that he had done nothing wrong. As a child he had thought if only he could be better then maybe he would find a place where he belonged.
As the years past that longing turned into hate. With Solo's death he had lost the only person he had and his anger had begun to grow. Father Maxwell had been his savior and as much as he loved him and Sister Helen he still wanted a real family. One by one he watched the other children they had taken in get adopted but no one ever wanted him. Finally he began to hate everyone who was even remotely happy. He didn't understand that the most important thing was right in front of him. He spent so much time trying to push everyone away that when he lost Father and Sister he couldn't begin to describe the self-hatred he felt.
He didn't want that for his son. He wanted his son to understand that the important thing was not to want what others have but to take a good look and value what you have. He couldn't go back and change his past but he could give his son the knowledge for his future.
He also wanted his son to keep his innocence for as long as possible. He wanted his son to have a childhood. He needed him to know that it was okay to make mistakes and that it was all right to cry when you got hurt and it was okay to depend on others.
But most importantly he wanted more than anything else for his son to know that his life was his to live. No one would ever use Nicholas as a pawn. No one would ever convince Nicholas that he didn't deserve what he wanted. He wanted Nicholas to have the freedom of will that he himself never had.
Nicholas started to cry and Duo went over to the crib and picked him up. He whispered soothingly as he paced back and forth. He wanted so much more for his son and he wondered if he could give it all to him. He would do what he could and trust in God to do the rest.
A sudden pulling at his neck drew him out of his thoughts. He smiled as he tried to tug his gold chain out of his son's fingers. The little boy started laughing and tugged harder on the chain in return.
"Don't pull daddy's cross." He said softly. He tried to pry Nicholas' fingers open only to have the little boy laugh and jerk the chain again.
"You listen about as well as your mamma does." He chuckled.
"I resent that, its not my fault you've lost your edge." Said a slightly miffed female voice.
"Awwww honey, I was only kidding." He said smiling innocently at Hilde.
"You better be." she said with a grin as she slipped her arms around his waist.
Duo sighed as he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. He had found what was most important to him and he just hoped Nicholas would lucky enough to one-day find the same.
A.N.– Okay, I love this song and I thought it would fit Duo's thoughts perfectly. I'm amazed I actually wrote a happy story for a change. I'm sorry if it's too sappy but I think it's fitting. Thanks a bunch!!!!!!