|The Pee Pee Wee Gun
Author: Twizzle-fizz PM
Oh no! Eggman has created a gun which makes everyone go OOC! What he didn't count on is the fact that it also effected Shadow to! How will Sonic and Co. cope with the effects of this gun? How will Eggman cope with a moody teenager? Hilarity ensures!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Sonic - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,573 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11-28-11 - Published: 03-19-11 - id: 6836264
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Hello anyone out there who is still reading this story! A big thanks to sticking around for so long and a big welcome to any new comers! Sorry bout taking sooo long to update! First I had massive writers block, then exam block, then an iceblock, then I got so lazy! Shame! I was kinda thinking of ditching this story, I thought I could do alot better, but reading over your reviews and not to mention Jazzy being constantly on my back XD I decided to do as I promise and finish what I started. But hey! It's not even finished yet, probably one more chappy after this. Gosh I didn't expect it to be this long!
I'd like to say thank you for all the reviews, this has by far been my most popular story. This chapter is dedicated to anyone who's stuck by it, especially Jazzy, for pressuring me to update XD and Sonic Fan42, their review really made me decide to keep going. So thanks. Well, enough time wasted here! On with the story...
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sega...that is...if Sega actually wants them right now
The Skid Mark
A shabby minivan came to an abrupt halt in the destroyed city centre of Station Square. Eggman sat, tightly squished in his egg-mobile ship thing, in an expectant manner as the van door started to slide open. He grinned evilly and began his rehearsed speech.
"Ahh, Sonic the hedgehog and friends! I've been expecting you! Not so skilled now are we? I have a surprise for you! There is no antidote but-...wait...YOU'RE NOT SONIC!" Eggman growled in astonishment.
"Hi there! I be cow lick, but as them folks at home be callin me, ya'll can just call me hill-billy Joe!" The hillbilly said and pulled his pants up a little higher.
"What?...WHAT IS THIS?"
Vector strolled casually out of the front seat and locked the van with his automatic key. He then proceeded to lean upon the bonnet before he noticed Eggman staring at him with a 'What the heck?' look on his face. "Oh, yeah, well Sonic and the rest of 'em where being difficult on the way over so I made 'em get out and walk if they wanted any chance of a lift home. I only dropped 'em off at the last curb so they should be here in a minute or so." The croc finished then proceeded to put on his headphones and play some tunes to himself.
Eggman kept staring, this was rather annoying. "...difficult?"
"Yeah, all of 'em arguin'! Really gets to ya!"
"Oh, yes I know all about that kind of thing. Teenagers are such a hassle"
"Tell me about it, I am dreadin' the day when Charmy hit's 13"
"hmmmm..." Eggman said for nothing better to say then the two commenced to sit in silence for a while. Then they both turned as they heard some voices in the distance.
"Mwa mwa mwa! Come on 'Knuckie' give her a kiss!"
"Shut UP SONIC!"
"Rouge and Knuckles sittin in a tree!"
"I MEAN IT CHARMY!"
"I think he needs to be taught a lesson! Time to get CREAMED!"
"Ahhh no! No thankyou"
"Too late, Knuckles already said yes to pulverisation!"
"no that's..NO! OW! AHH! THE PAIN! ARGH!"
"Looking a little flustered Knuckles, hehehehe"
Vector and Eggman exchanged glances, "I assume that-"
"Yeah that'll be them" Vector replied as Sonic and the gang slowly made it around the corner into view. Knuckles was beetroot red in the middle and they all seemed to be teasing him except Rouge who was smiling an extra big smile, and Espio who was started to get irritated by Shadow crying about...something, he hadn't bothered to ask what it was this time.
Eggman cleared his throat and began his speech again, "Ahh, Sonic the hedgehog and friends! I've been expecting you! Not so skilled now are we? I have a surprise for you! There is no antidote but I still have a-"
"NO ANTIDOTE?" The gang yelled at once.
"You mean...I spent...fifteen whole minutes in that minivan...with THEM...for NO REASON AT ALL?" Everyone was surprised when Espio spoke out, he'd remained quiet the whole trip so far.
"...GET HIM!" Cream declared and everyone went full charge at the egg shaped scientist.
"AHHHHH! NO WAIT!" Eggman yelled and everyone paused just as he was about to get pulverised, "I have something else!"
"well, what is it?" Sonic asked, still frozen in his fighting position.
"Well since you obviously can't stop me this time, I'll tell you. I have made a BRILLIANT new gun! It is called...the Switch and/or keep individual's deformities Mark 1 egg gun...or the S.K.I.D mark 1 egg gun for short.
"How is that any shorter? I vote we call it the Skid mark" Sonic said
"I second that motion" Charmy buzzed
"It is not called, the SKIDMARK. It is too brilliant for that name...AHA!" Eggman declared, pulling a gun out from his back pants pocket, this one was a decent size but had a ridiculously lame egg logo on it, "How do you like that, ooh ho ho ho!"
"...pft...pft...WHA HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Sonic cracked up
"hm?...What's so funny?"
"pft...HAHA!...Eggman's got a skid mark in the back of his pants!"
'WHA HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA!" Everyone else cracked up as well
"Grr! That's it! I'm not telling you my plan any more!"
"Oh, come on! It was just a joke! Pft..."
"Yeah, laugh hedgehog! What's with the pineapple, been grocery shopping?" Eggman mocked in an annoyed tone and pointed to the pineapple Sonic was holding.
"Oh, this is actually a chaos emerald because, I wouldn't just carry round a pineapple, I mean, that would be completely lame and if there is one thing Sonic the Hedgehog isn't, it's lame!" Sonic said proudly.
"Chaos emerald eh? Whoop!" Eggman said then pressed a button on his ship so a hand came out and 'popped' the pineapple out from under Sonic's arm, "hehehe"
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Noooooooooo faaaaaaaiiiir!"
"Sonic, seriously, that was really stupid" Rouge said.
"Now, back to what I was saying! Making antidotes is hard, very hard! So, like the evil genius I am, I opted for the easier, cheaper solution!"
"Which is?" Everyone asked.
"Well, I don't really need Shadow back to complete normal...and I don't need to change any of you fools at all. You see, some of you have been blessed by my Pee Pee Wee gun and I thought, why not give that power to Shadow?"
"What are you talking about?"
"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COLOURS? Whaaaaaaa whyyyyyyyy! Why do they hate me!" Shadow fell to the ground bawling after Rouge had bent over in Amy's too-short dress, and he saw her multi-coloured knickers.
"...ok, I'm going to cut to the chase and say it's time for the ol' switcheroo! Cream's strength with Shadow's powers would make for the ultimate, ultimate life form, so that's just what I'm going to do. True, Cream will end up like a moody teenager but hey, not my problem!" Eggman chuckled as he attached the pineapple to the gun.
"...nooooooooooo, heeee's putttttting a skiiid maaark ooon iiit!" Sonic said in slow mo
"pft! Hahahahhaha!" Everyone cracked up again and Eggman growled in irritation that no one was taking his scheme seriously.
"Ugh! I've had enough of this! You're going to get creamed Eggman!" Cream yelled, tensing her muscles then advancing towards him.
"ahh, yes, Cream. Just the girl I wanted to see...just imagine SHADOW with that strength! Why he'd be...he'd be...the ultimate ultimatum! The piece de resistance! The - HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled as she started smashing up his ship.
"CREAM SMASH!" She grunted and kept smashing.
"No! Stop! Quit it! You're-oh! Oh, ooooh! Just look at tha-oh! No, don't, augh!"
Cream didn't care and kept smashing
"GRRR! That's it! These bullets rebound by the way!" Eggman snarled and fired at Cream, but since the gun had 'bouncy bullets' it rebounded off her and went in all random directions, excluding the ones where Shadow was standing.
"...ahhh!" Everyone ducked for cover as it came flying their way
"...wait a second...why am I ducking? That thing could give me my strength back!" Knuckles said
"Or it could turn me super buff!" Charmy smiled
"Hey! That bullet is reserved for me!" Vector snapped and in no time everyone was chasing it.
"No! Shadow! Get after that bullet!" Eggman directed
"I'll shoot myself thank you very much! I don't need someone ELSE to do it FOR ME!" He screamed
"..." Eggman face palmed, now recognising the very obvious flaw in his plan.
The bullet rebounded a few more times before hitting Cream again, "OMPH!...EGGMAN YOU WILL PAY!" She yelled.
"Darn it, missed" Eggman said annoyed and pointed 'the skid mark' at her again.
Cream snarled and got ready to brace for impact but then Amy jumped in front of her, "NOOOOO! PEACE! PEAC-AHHHHH!" she yelled as the bullet rebounded off her and hit Shadow, then rebounded off him and hit her.
"aaaaaaaaammmmmyyyy!" Sonic said in slow mo.
"ARGH! Why did you have to get in the way?" Eggman grumbled and reloaded his gun to fire again.
Shadow was the first to regain consciousness, "...sigh, isn't this a wonderful world that we live in? I love you! And I love you! And you! And you!" Shadow said pointing each and every one of Sonic and his friends.
"...scaaaaaaary" Sonic said.
"WHAAAAAAAAAA! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME SONIC?" Amy woke up and started bawling, "I can't go ooon! Whaaaaaaa!" Just then Rouge bent over again, "...WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COLOURS? WHYYYYY! I HATE MY LIFE!"
"...chaaaaaaange heeeeeeer baaaaaaack!" Sonic said, finding it hard to believe that Amy was better in her previous state.
"La la la, and I love you! And you!" Shadow said throwing flower petals up in the air and giving Eggman a big hug.
"ANYTHING BUT THIS!" Eggman said and randomly fired his gun again which rebounded between Tails and Shadow.
"Ow!" Tails got up, "...oooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" He started meditating.
"...duuuuuh! haaaa! I made a chaos spear!" Shadow said smiling with himself and he started juggling it then he accidently dropped in on some randoms house which blew up, "duuuuh, Whoopsie". Everyone just stared in complete shock and fear at the ultimate dummy with ultimate power...worst ever combination! Eggman seemed to realize this too as he quickly got ready to fire again.
"Um everyone...I think we should...RUN!" Rouge called and everyone started bolting until... "OW!...duuuuuh-haaaa!" Rouge laughed and then started eating her lipstick, "mmm, cherry flavoured!"
"EGGMAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!" Knuckles yelled in rage.
"Sorry to take away your girlfriend but there is nothing worse than a stupid minion with unspeakable power" Eggman smirked.
"She-she's not my!"
"yeah, yeah" Eggman growled then started madly firing his gun.
"AHHH!" Everyone screamed
"...KNUCKIE!" Cream squealed with joy.
"Aww man! I get Cream chasing me everywhere instead of Rouge? Things cannot possibly get any worse!" Knuckles exclaimed when Cream got hit but a different bullet.
"...WHAAAA! I HATE MY LIFE!"
"ha ha! Yes!" Knuckles cheered, "Wonder who the next lucky girl who gets hit by that will be" he smirked to himself then Shadow got hit.
'...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Knuckles screamed, "NO! MUCH WORSE! MUCH WORSE!"
"Why doesn't Sonic love meeeeeee-whaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaa!" Amy started bawling on Espio's shoulder. Obviously, Espio was very, very annoyed, "Why are you WEARING MY CLOTHES? WHAAAAAAA!" She cried at Rouge.
"Duuh-haaaaa! These clothes are comfy!"
"EGGMAN! I MAY BE WEAK BUT I CAN STILL...uh...outsmart you!" Knuckles yelled.
Eggman sighed in irritation, "Yes, sure you can, now Shadow, DESTROY HIM!"
"...But I can't!"
"Because...(dramatic pause) I LOVE HIM!" Shadow squealed and everyone was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (Insert 200 more very's) disturbed! Especially Knuckles.
"...AHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed and ran as fast as he could away from Shadow, who caught up to him in about 2.1 milliseconds and gave him a big hug. "THE HORROR!"
"...I was wrong...much worse...MUCH WORSE!" Eggman shuddered and fired desperately to change Shadow into anything but...that!
"OW!" they both said.
Shadow realized that he was...HUGGING KNUCKLES! And frankly...frankly he couldn't describe the horror in any language, there were a few words which could come close to describing the pure terror but these words would not be allowed in a K rated fiction.
"Err..." Was all Knuckles could saw.
"EGGMAN!" Shadow screamed immediately blaming him.
"Um...now, now Shadow, I'll find a way to change you! He he...Um...come on! Come on!" Eggman said madly fiddling with his gun.
"CHAOS SPEAR!" he yelled...seriously, Shadow wanted to kill himself right now, the memories where coming back...the painful memories...why did he have to remember these most humiliating moments but forget everything else? Eggman put his hands in front of his face as he got hit with...a chaos...spear?...More like a ping pong ball. Shadow cursed himself having Knuckles stupid disability and didn't fire anymore due to pure humiliation.
"haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Sonic pointed and laughed at him.
"Wait...what happened to knuckles?" Charmy asked (yup, Chaotix are still here)
Knuckles slowly got up, "like LOL, Sonic did you just see that? OMG it was hilarious!"
"Great he's gone girly"
Knuckles smiled and glanced at the ground, catching his reflection in a puddle of water, "...wha-...whoa!...wow...I am so HOT!" he sighed in amazement.
"ARGHHHH!" Eggman growled in annoyance and then went crazy with his gun, ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! He fired repeatedly in any direction just wanting to get Shadow normalish, ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
"He's gone MAD! RUN!" Charmy squeaked and some way or another they got everyone to run from the battle field and back into, yup, you guessed it, the minivan!
"COME ON KNUCKLES WE GOTTA GO!" Charmy yelled, running past then stopped, "...Knuckles?...hello?" Charmy said waving his hand in front of his face.
"Hey! Quit that!" Knuckles said and continued to stare at his reflection in the puddle, "heeey good lookin! Who's handsome? That's right, I am!" Knuckles said dreamily and continued to stare.
"argh!" he groaned just as another wave of blasts come from Eggman's gun.
"AHH! GET IN!" Charmy cried and shoved everyone in the van.
"Ok, so, um, what's the plan?" Vector said as he plugged the keys in the ignition and hit the accelerator.
"THAT'S WHAT WE USUALLY ASK YOU!" Charmy said, quite panicked. Everyone in the van was in a daze by being hit by the gun so many times and he had no idea who had what disability.
"Oh, um, yeah, well...um, the plan is...to drive away from this mad man and his emotional teenage hedgehog and then...think of a plan!"
"And how'd you suppose we do that Vector?" Charmy whined.
"Well...um...we could start by seeing what power everyone actually has-"
"PEDESTRIAN!" Charmy yelled out and Vector quickly swerved to the side.
"But you can do that just NO DISTRACTING THE DRIVER IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" He growled and continued driving down the street at 120km/h in a 60km/h zone.
"Um, ok then...well, let's start with Tails. Please tell me you're normal so you can think of a plan!" Charmy pleaded.
"...I am going to BEAT. EGGMAN...TO A PUUUUULP!" Tails yelled in rage and Charmy hid behind a chair.
"...Ok...um...Amy...what happened to you?"
"Nothing! I'm perfectly fine!" Amy said happily.
"No, there must be something wrong with you" Charmy said and thought for a while.
"WHAT'S THAT IMPLYING?" She said and took out her giant hammer and started beating him up.
"AHHH! NO! VECTOR HELP!"
"KINDA BUSY HERE CHARM-" Vector started when everyone heard an 'OW!' from outside, "...sorry!..."
"uh! Ok! Ok! You're fine Amy...hmmm...Knuckles, what about you?"
"Oh Knuckles, my one truuuue looove" Amy sighed.
"...WHAT?" Sonic yelled from the back of the bus and everyone turned around to look at him, "...uh...well...I mean...I'M YOU'RE ONE TRUE LOVE!"
Amy wrinkled up her nose at him, "...pft, yeah you wish." She said and everyone snickered at him
"no..uh...whatever, I don't care" he said then glared at Knuckles.
"...speaking of Knuckles..." Charmy turned around to look at him.
"Sigh...Knuckles...will you marry me?" Amy asked
"Don't see why not babe" Knuckles said while meditating
"PFT-WHAT?" Sonic yelled then...took a breath and started meditating.
"What? Two hippies?...okaaaay...I'm still not seeing any plans here Vector! They're even more useless than before!"
"Who ya callin useless BUMBLE?" Tails growled.
"Oh no...not again!" Charmy cried, then proceeded to fly around the bus from Tails when they bumped into Cream.
"...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I HATE YOU!" Cream screamed
"Great, now she's even more hopeless then before" Vector growled from the front.
"Well that must mean Sonic's either slow again... or dumb" Charmy sighed and looked over at him.
"No I'm not!" Sonic said offended while munching on a packet of crisps.
"...But...how?...you sure you're not weak?"
"Well I opened this air-tight sealed packet of crisps didn't I?"
"That's harder than it looks" Charmy pointed out, "...and you're not hippie?"
"You sure you aren't holding the pineapple emerald or something?"
"Ok, this is really weird!...wait...what are you eating?...Are those...ESPIO'S CRUNCHIES?"
Sonic looked at the packet and shrugged, "hmm, I guess so"
"First of all, how can you eat them they taste disgusting! Espio's the only one who likes them, secondly, ESPIO WILL BE REALLY MAD IF HE SEES YOU EATING THOSE!" Charmy freaked out.
"...I can't help it! They just taste so good!" Sonic said then pulled out another packet and opened it with a ninja star.
"...where did you get that?"
"...You know, I'm not really sure" Sonic said and continued eating the crunchies.
"Espio, what do you have to say about this?"
"I like ponies!"
"...what?" Charmy stared at the Chameleon.
"Whoo hoo! Giddiup! Giddiup! Giddiup!" Espio said jumping on top of Charmy and trying to ride him like a horse.
"Uhh...Vector? I think we have a problem..."
"um...I think Espio got mixed up in all the zapping as well.."
"yeah...he's kinda acting dumb and Sonic is kinda acting like him in some ways..."
"OH WELL THIS IS JUST-...excellent! Charmy I have a plan!" Vector grinned.
A/N: Phew, chapter finished! Kinda helps being on a two month Christmas break right now :D
Ooh, what is Vector's plan?
Will it most likely fail? (probably)
Was this chapter the most OOC thing you've ever read? (most likely)
Did I take way too long to update? (DEFINITLEY!)
Sorry again for the very late update! But I promise you now that I. Will. Finish...THIS STORY!