|I'll wait for you
Author: 50ShadesOfGay PM
Jartha. John tries to convince Martha that she doesn't need to hide and that he loves her. Will she listen? Breif summery, I don't want to give too much away. R&R.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - John B. & Martha L. - Words: 1,369 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 03-20-11 - id: 6838994
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
One shot.. Enjoy and R&R
They lay in each others arms, peacefully. No words are spoken, they're just watching the stars and the lights from the hill top. Perfect.
Finally the silence is broken, "Beautiful." One word, almost a whisper, yet it seemed to sum it all up.
John nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I knew you'd like it." He smiled, his attention on her now.
She looked at him with a small smile. "I love it... Thank you John, no one has ever taken me anywhere like this... No one has treated me like this actually." She sad truthfully. Her face was still facing his, but her eyes wer averted to a pice of grass beside her head, suddenly finding it rather interesting. He sat up, noticing she felt slightly nervous, shy even. She sat up after him, whimpering almost, the lack of closeness suddenly making her feel lonely again, telling her she may have said too much. He was right; The man in that warehouse. He had said she longed to be touched, to be loved, she was stinging and John... Well, he was the only person she trusted, despite muddling up his identity. She trusted him now, he's a great asset not to the team, but to her life. If he hadf went with Adile that day, she would have never forgiven herself for telling him not to change his plans on her account.
He looked at her, moving his head closer. Fuck it. He thought as he did. She pulled back though. "I... I'm sorry John. It's Just... I've been burnt before you know I- I don't want to put my hand back in the fire, I just... I can't." She said, tears stinging her eyes, she got up from the hill and walked over to the fence, looking at the lights in the distance.
He got up and went to her, by that time she had begun to cry and hot tears begun flooding her cheeks. "Hey... It's ok, come here." He said softly, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She responded hugging him back, sobbing into his shoulder softly, her whole body shaking. "It's ok Martha... Shh." He said softly, tracing soothing circles with the palm of his hand on her back.
She breathed deeply, her sobs becoming more controlled now. "I'm sorry Martha. I just. You can't go through life being scared of everything. Scared to be touched. You wo't let me touch you. Like now, we're close, hugging but we're not Martha. In your head you want to run. Run as far away as-" He was cut off. Warm lips on his, It took a while for him to respond, wondering if this was real or not. His lips moved in sync with hers, her arms snaked around his neck as she pushed her hands into his hair, pushing his head to hers, the kiss becoming deeper, passionate even. They both had longed for this. True love. Perfect.
The need of oxygen became a problem so they had no choice but to pull away, gasping for the air around them. "I.. Martha." He was silenced again. This time by a single finger on his lips.
"Don't say it John. You're right. I haven't bee touched in a long time. Not even looked at. Thought about even. But John, the way you look at me it's just... It makes me feel special. I feel wanted." She laughed at that. "I know, sad isn't it?" It wasn't a question, more stating a fact. "I wake up, eat, go to work. I go home eat and then I sleep. I wear baggy clothes, I'm not comfortable with baggy clothes either. And I wonder why I don't feel wanted. Who want's a someone so insercure that they don't even feel comfortable being looked at. I... I just don't know anymore John. I've just bee let down so many time, I don't what to think anymore."
"Martha, Martha, Martha." He reapeated to stop her rambling. His hands grasped her upper arms. "I do. I want you. I want to be close to you, I want to cuddle you, kiss you and tell you that everythings going to be ok. I don't care what you wear, or if you feel comfortable in it of not." He said.
She scoffed. "Don't suck up to me John. Don't feel sorry for me. Just go. I'll find my own way home... JUST GO!" She was screaming now, more tears streaming down her face. They had suddenly became a distace apart.
"Martha. I'm not. I don't. Look Martha just listen please. Just fucking listen!" He shouted, he was angry, he just wanted her to listen, to believe him. "You didn't need and still don't need to look like anyone or be anyone else for me. You don't need to want to be that Samantha Shipley anymore. I didn't know you then but I know you know and you have all that. Legs, cheek bones, curves, hair, eyes. Everything Martha, everything. You might not be able to see it but you're perfect in every single way Martha you are the definition of perfection."
She shook her head in disbelief. "I think you've muddled me up with a different Martha. Because I am certainly not the one you are discribing."
He walked over to her, cupping her cheeks. "Oh but Martha I am. You bring out another side in me, you run the identity unit perfectly fine but you need a life out of that, out of work."
The tears were still hot on her cheeks, he wiped them away with his thumbs. "No.. John. I can't. Please."
"Martha, I love you." He admitted in a whisper. "Now do what you want with that... But. Just bear in mind all what I've said and that I'll wait for you forever Martha" And with that he turned his back to her, walking away.
She had two options. One- Face her fears and go after him, tell him she loved him too and everything would be ok.
Or two- Walk away and leave him forever
Two years on and her head still hung in shame. It was her fault. Her fault it had happened. Everyone always looked at her in discust, it was hardly her fault, she didn't mean to. She, just wanted him to be happy, but didn't think he could with her. Tears falling from her eyes, her body shaking the the rythm of her sobs. She couldn't live without him. But now, now she had no choice but too. If only he knew she loved him. Maybe he wouldn't have been crying that day, his eyes wouldn't have blurred and he wouldn't have crashed the car. SMASH. She had heard it, she had ran to the car. She held him in her arms, watching as another tear ran down his cheek and he suddenly was going deadly pale. His head flopped back wards, the full moon reflecting in his eyes. First he was there, then he was gone. So quickly it was hard to believe he was even there to begin with.
"No John.. No.. Please." She begged. But it hadn't made a difference, he was gone. gone forever.
"I love you..." She whispered, if only he had heard her say it, he was gone when she did. Tears battered her cheeks like raidrops in a heavy storm. "No John please... I can't loose you. I love you, I love you, I love you." She repeated in a whisper as if it would bring him back. Evidently not. She held him until the parimedics came, they had to pull her off of him as she cried frantically for him.
She lay in the exact place on the hill top they had layed on. She went there everyday without fail, watching the lights. "I'll wait for you John. Forever and ever."