|Going Back and Getting Better
Author: GeniaTheParadox PM
Kurt/Blaine and Dave/Redemption. Kurt going back to McKinley inspires Dave to change. And I kind of suck at summaries.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Kurt H. & Blaine A. - Words: 4,867 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 9 - Published: 04-02-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6868794
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So this fic is kind of long and random. It all just sort of came out of my head like a stream of consciousness. I probably should have put it into chapters but... ah well.
So yeah, I wrote this before Original Song happened. It's kind of how I always imagined Klaine and Dave's storyline panning out, although the Klaine on the show is just... well, my mind is still very much blown.
There hasn't been any Dave redemption though unfortunately. Not yet anyway.
But I'm rambling. Basically this is a Kurt and Blaine love story and a Dave/Redemption story. Yeah :)
So... reviews would be nice.
Also, totally don't own Glee. I don't know why, I just don't. Accept it.
Going Back and Getting Better
"So you're really going back to McKinley?" said Blaine.
Kurt nodded. "I've already talked to the principle, and my Dad and Carole are fine with it. I go back on Monday."
Blaine sighed, leaning against the mahogany desk in the Dalton choir room.
"Are you sure about this? I mean, after everything that happened are you really sure you want to go back there?"
"I've been thinking about this for a while," said Kurt. "And I keep on remembering what my Dad would always say to me. No one pushes the Hummels around. So I'm not going to let Karofsky or anyone else push me around anymore. I'm going to stick up for myself instead of just taking it. I'm not going to let them win."
Blaine smiled a little sadly. "You're a lot braver than I give you credit for."
They smiled at each other, before Blaine bit his lip and looked at the floor.
"I can't believe you're really leaving," said Blaine with a kind of nervous laugh.
"Well it's not like we're never going to see each other again," said Kurt. "It'll just be like before I transferred. We'll still hang out and stuff. It just means maybe a few less trips to The Lima Bean."
"It won't be the same though..." Blaine sighed, before quickly adding "I mean, because we're going to be competition again and everything."
Kurt laughed in spite of himself, shaking his head. "You and I being competition has never really mattered before."
Blaine still seemed kind of sad. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I should probably go," said Kurt quietly.
"Right... of course," said Blaine.
After a moment where they just looked at the other, they both pulled each other into a long, tight hug.
"Good luck," said Blaine once they separated. "If you need anything... I'm always here."
"Thank you," Kurt whispered, a lump forming in his throat. "I'll see you, Blaine."
They stared at each other one last time before Kurt walked slowly out of the room, looking sadly over his shoulder. Once Blaine was alone his chest grew tight and he had to rest against the table again. He knew it was stupid to feel so heartbroken. After all, as Kurt had said, it wasn't as if they were never going to see each other again. This wasn't really goodbye. But still he was filled with so much regret that he wanted to cry. Regret because... because he never just said it. All those opportunities he'd had to say it and he didn't, because he was so scared of ruining what he and Kurt had. So what was he still doing there? If ever there was a perfect time to tell him, it was now!
Blaine ran out of the choir room and saw that Kurt was walking slowly down the hallway. Kurt had been dragging his feet, trying desperately to hold back the tears at least until he got to his car. He was hoping that maybe Blaine would stop him and beg him to reconsider, to stay here with him rather than go back to McKinley, but he knew it wasn't going to happen.
He turned around to find Blaine running up to him.
"What is it?" said Kurt once they were a few inches from each other.
Blaine couldn't think of a single thing to say, but it didn't matter. He cupped Kurt's face in his hands and kissed him, kissed him like he'd been aching to do for months. Kurt's gasp of surprise soon became a sigh as he kissed Blaine back, holding onto his waist. Neither was sure exactly how long they stood there, but they just didn't care. It felt as if everything – days, weeks, a lifetime – had been leading up to this very moment, to this magical kiss. They were both breathless once they finally separated, their noses still touching and their eyes still closed.
"I love you," Blaine whispered.
"I love you too," Kurt sighed.
They opened their eyes, staring at each other, before Blaine suddenly blushed.
"I, erm... I just needed to get that out of my system," he muttered.
Kurt chuckled. "Right. Well... great."
"I should be going. I'll... I'll call you."
Kurt tried to walk away, but Blaine held onto his hand and pulled him back into another kiss, which they both smiled into.
"I really have to go now, Blaine."
"Blaine, I have to go."
"Sure, go ahead."
Even more kisses.
"Blaine, seriously, I have to go."
"Five more minutes..."
Kurt laughed, planting one more kiss on Blaine's lips before they finally separated. Kurt looked over his shoulder now and again as he walked away with a huge smile on his face to match Blaine's. Neither had ever felt so overwhelmingly happy before.
"I love you, Kurt!" Blaine called out once Kurt was at the other end of the hallway.
"I love you too, Blaine!" Kurt laughed, before he turned the corner and was out of sight.
Blaine punched the air in spite of himself as he went back into the choir room. Maybe he wasn't so bad at this romance stuff after all.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
This is what burst out of Dave Karofsky's mouth when he walked into the boys' bathroom to find none other than Kurt Hummel standing at the sinks, fixing his hair in the mirror.
"Try not to sound too pleased to see me, Karofsky," he said without turning around. "Somebody might hear you."
Dave sneered. "I thought you transferred to that fancy school for rich queers?"
Kurt gave Dave a fleeting look of deepest contempt before putting his hairspray back in his bag.
"I was at Dalton for a while, but I decided to come back," he said in a bored voice. "For one thing, it was depressing wearing the same outfit every day. But, more importantly, I realised that there's no point in running away from my problems – my problems being played here so Oscar-winningly by you and the gigantic closet you've decided to live in."
"Oh, shut up, Hummel!" said Dave with a disgusted frown. "Don't make me have to kick your ass on your first day back."
Kurt turned to face Dave with his hands on his hips, standing his ground.
"If you must kick my ass then please just get it over and done with," he said, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, any excuse to feel me up, huh?"
Dave scowled, looking more disgusted than ever. "Please, like I'd want to touch you. I don't want to catch gay."
"Well I wouldn't want you touching me either," said Kurt. "I don't want to catch hypocrite."
"You're seriously asking for a black eye, aren't you, fag?" said Dave with a glower.
"I'm not scared of you anymore," Kurt calmly replied. "Threaten me and hurt me all you want. It's not going to change the fact that you clearly want me."
Dave scoffed, shaking his head. "You wish."
"Actually, I really don't. Seriously, aside from the fact that I'm spoken for now, I've had nightmares less harrowing than the idea of you and I together."
Dave tried to scoff and roll his eyes, but on the inside he was kind of hurt by that. And what was all this about being 'spoken for'?
"Listen and listen good, Karofsky," Kurt sneered. "I'm not going to take any crap from you this time around. You may have run me out of this school once, but I'm not going to let that happen again."
"Oh, really?" said Dave, shoving Kurt.
Kurt just glared and shoved Dave right back, so hard that he hit the wall. He was surprisingly strong and Dave couldn't quite keep the shock off of his face.
"If you shove me," said Kurt seriously. "I will shove you back. If you hit, I will hit you back. In fact, the only time that that rule doesn't apply is if you decide to kiss me again, because I will definitely not kiss you back."
Dave couldn't think of anything to say. He looked at Kurt with an ugly frown on his face as the smaller boy swung his bag on his shoulder.
"I have to go to class now," he said with a satisfied smirk. "Feel free to watch me walk away."
And with that Kurt left the bathroom with his head held high. And Dave couldn't help but watch him walk away.
Kurt hardly got picked on at all during his first week back at McKinley, but the same couldn't be said for the rest of the student body. Dave Karofsky had been dealing out more slushie facials than ever before, and shoving and punching anyone who dared to look him in the eye. But he never laid a finger or said a word to Kurt, which was proving difficult. He'd never noticed before just how many classes they shared together, and it seemed like he walked past him every few seconds in the hall. But, instead of shoving him and calling him a name, Dave wouldn't do anything, Kurt would walk past unscathed and whichever poor nerd happened to be walking past at the same time would get shoved into a locker instead.
In reality, the only person that Dave wanted to punish was himself. The only reason he was being even more horrible to everyone than usual was because he was so angry with himself. When Kurt was at Dalton Dave felt as if it was his chance for everything to be normal. Kurt wouldn't be there to distract him or make his mind wonder to places that he knew were wrong. But instead he just felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
He wished that things could be different. He wished that this whole stupid school could be different. Because it was this school's fault and his friends' fault that he was hiding behind this persona of the bullying asshole. If the people around him were more accepting then maybe he wouldn't be so scared to be himself, and he certainly wouldn't have ever been so horrible to Kurt in the first place.
Because Dave had fallen for Kurt years ago, in middle school, when he first really noticed him. But he saw the way Kurt was treated – he saw the way that anybody who was kind of different was treated – and he didn't want that. So he treated Kurt and all the different kids just like his friends did, and in the beginning it was sort of therapeutic. Maybe if he treated Kurt badly enough it would make his stupid feelings go away. Maybe it would make him normal. But, instead, it just made him... well, an asshole. And the feelings definitely didn't go away. In fact, they just got worse because, although it was Kurt who he had the monster crush on, soon it wasn't just Kurt who he was noticing. Like when he'd watch a movie. He'd try his best, but he just couldn't see what was so great about any of the attractive female characters – it was the guys he'd always end up staring at, and it felt wrong and right all at the same time.
Dave had hated himself for making Kurt leave, even though he didn't really blame him for wanting to. But the self-hatred had been kicked up to new levels once Kurt came back. It was in the changing room after gym class one day that it all became way too much, because he realised for the first time what utter bastards all his friends were.
"Y'know, I still can't believe the Queen of the Faggots is back here," said Azimio loudly.
All the guys agreed. Dave continued changing out of his gym clothes, his back to everyone else so they couldn't see him frowning.
"I mean, I figured he'd just stay at that fancy gay school he ran away to," Azimio continued. "I've seen some of the guys that go there and they're all obviously queer. Hummel must've fit right in. All the buttsex he could ask for."
Everyone laughed. Well, everyone but Dave. Soon they were all talking really animatedly, Azimio the loudest, but it all just sounded like a blur of hate to Dave.
"I bet it's like, a requirement in that school to be a massive fag."
"Totally! I bet all those guys get taught how to give blowjobs in their classes."
"They're all just sitting around in their faggy uniforms, singing showtunes and sucking each other off. Hummel must have loved it."
"We better watch ourselves around him now. He must've picked up a lot of ass-raping skills at that homo school."
"Don't know what the hell he's doing back here."
"I know right. It's bad enough having those Glee freaks around fagging the place up without them getting back their queen."
"Y'know, I think we should make an example of him," said Azimio as the rest of the guys agreed. "Ever since Puckerman decided to be a loser Hummel ain't been chucked in the dumpster in ages. I think a nice dumpster toss should show that little fairy where he belongs, 'cause he's been strutting around like he owns the place since he got back. Maybe a monster slushie attack afterward. And then we'll lock him in a Port-a-Potty and flip it. Trust me, he'll be running back to that faggot school in no time, and we can carry on with our lives without worrying about getting molested. We shouldn't let that freak spread his AIDs around our school."
All the guys were agreeing so much that they were practically applauding. Dave thought he was going to cry. His hands were balled into fists, he could feel his heart racing and he was actually shaking with anger. There was so much adrenaline pumping through his veins that he felt as if he could have easily killed everyone in the room with his bare hands. But he couldn't move. He just sat there, glaring at the lockers in front of him and loathing every single person in the room with a burning passion.
It wasn't just what they were saying about Kurt – although that was all unbelievably heartbreaking – but what they were saying about that Dalton place too. It was probably a really good school. Definitely better than this place, that's for sure. He couldn't believe he was willing to defend an entire school full of guys he'd never met... that he was willing to defend Kurt when he'd spent so long hurting him. But he just couldn't take it anymore. There's only so long you can bottle up your feelings before you finally explode. And now was Dave's chance to explode.
"Hey, Karofsky, what do you think?" said Azimio, tapping Dave on the shoulder. "Think a good dumpster toss would sort Hummel out?"
Dave didn't say anything. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down but it didn't work. It took a lot of willpower not to just turn around and punch Azimio in the face.
"Dude," said Azimio, hitting Dave in the arm again to get him to turn around. "What's wrong with you? You haven't said a word, and I figured you of all people would be pissed that Hummel's back. That whiney little queen got you expelled after all."
Dave stood up slowly and turned to face Azimio and the rest of the guys. He was still trembling with anger, and when he spoke his voice was low and steady and unnervingly monotone.
"You seriously want to know what's wrong with me? You guys are standing around insulting a whole school full of people who you've never met and haven't done anything wrong. You're cooking up ways to torture Kurt when all he's doing is daring to be himself in this school where it's a freaking crime to be different. You all honestly think that his sexuality, which has nothing to do with any of you, might actually affect you personally somehow. And yet you want to know what's wrong with me?"
Azimio looked at Dave like he'd gone insane, before laughing and shaking his head. All the other guys laughed too, acting as if it was all a joke. This just managed to make Dave even madder.
"What the hell's gotten into you, man?" Azimio chuckled. "You're talking crazy."
"Actually, for the first time I'm talking sense," said Dave, his voice getting slightly louder. "I never realised before because I was so busy trying to fit in, but you guys are all such assholes"
Azimio scoffed. "Are we now?"
"Absolutely," said Dave. "You're all a bunch of stupid, ignorant assholes. And frankly I'd rather be a friendless loser getting slushied in the hallway everyday then carry on forcing myself to pretend to like you pricks."
Azimio suddenly frowned. There was a ringing silence around the room.
"That could be arranged, y'know," he sneered.
"God, what is wrong with you?" Dave cried, feeling livid. "What's wrong with all of you?"
"We should be asking you that, Karofsky," said Azimio. "'Cause you've clearly gone insane."
"No, I haven't," said Dave. "I'm just sick and tired of having to be a part of this crap, and I'm sick and tired of listening to you belittle people!"
Dave was so angry that he wasn't even sure what he was saying anymore. Words were just sort of spilling out of his mouth without consequence, things that he'd wanted to say for ages, and he just couldn't stop himself.
"You know, I really can't stand you, Azimio," he said. "You are a complete and utter bastard. You're horrible to everyone weaker than you just for a little self-gratification, and I am done being your wing man. I honestly couldn't care less what you or anyone else thinks of me anymore because you're really not worth all the trouble. And do you know what the ironic thing is? You think that every gay person is some flamboyant freak out to try and turn you at the drop of a hat. But, funnily enough, Kurt isn't like, and I'm not like that."
There was an audible gasped from the entire room. Azimio looked shocked for a second, before trying to laugh it off.
"You're playing us right? You can't be serious?"
"I've never been more serious about anything in my life," Dave said dangerously. "And I honestly don't care what you think or what you do to me, because I don't want to be a part of this anymore. I don't want to lie anymore. But just know that if I find out any of you have so much as laid a finger on Kurt I will seriously kick the crap out of each and every one of you assholes."
Everyone in the room was glaring at Dave, and the silence was deafening. He picked up his bag and walked out of the locker room, an immense weight off his shoulders. Everyone was too shell shocked to stop him.
The whole school knew about Dave Karofsky coming out of the closet by the end of the day. The news had spread like wildfire, rumours and exaggerated stories flying around, but most people still couldn't quite believe it. Dave sat out on the bleachers, watching the Cheerios practice on the football field. He was in no rush to go home, and he had so much to think about. He still couldn't believe that he actually said all that stuff to Azimio and the guys. He couldn't believe that everyone finally knew who he really was. Well, sort of. It was mainly rumours that people knew, but it was better than everyone still thinking he was that bullying asshole. He didn't want to be that guy anymore.
Dave looked up in surprise to see Kurt standing next to him. His heart skipped a beat, and for once he didn't feel ashamed of it.
"Hey," he said awkwardly.
"Can I sit down?" Kurt asked politely.
Kurt took a seat beside Dave, and they sat in silence for a while, looking out into the field. Coach Sylvester was yelling insults at the exhausted Cheerios through her bullhorn.
"Is it true?" Kurt finally said. "Did you really come out to all the guys in your gym class today?"
Dave nodded. "Yeah."
"What made you finally say it?" Kurt asked.
Dave was silent for a second, unsure if he wanted to recount the whole story. It all sort of made his chest hurt.
"I think I just sort of... snapped," he said quietly.
"Well, everyone has their breaking point," said Kurt. "Speaking from personal experience, I know there's always that moment when you just think 'enough is enough.' So what did it for you?"
"Just stuff the guys were talking about," Dave said. "All the mean stuff they were saying."
"About me?" Kurt offered.
"Not just you," said Dave. "I mean, they said a lot of really horrible things about you, but it wasn't just that. They were talking about that school you transferred to."
"Yeah. They were saying all this stuff, making all these assumptions about the guys that go there."
Dave's insides squirmed. "I don't want to say."
"Come on," Kurt insisted. "I've heard it all before."
Dave sighed and frowned. "They were saying how... it was a requirement to be gay at that school, so you must have fit right in. And... you must have picked up lots of ass-raping tips from those Dalton guys so they should all be careful around you."
Kurt chuckled and shook his head. "Wow."
"That wasn't all," Dave continued. "They were threatening you. Well, Azimio was and they were all just agreeing. They wanted to treat you as badly as possible so that you'd go back to Dalton. Like, punishing you or something. And I was just sitting there, hating them all and hating myself. I mean, did I really sound like that? Was I really that horrible?"
"Yes," said Kurt simply. "Yes, you were."
Dave looked at Kurt, surprised at the bluntness, and Kurt looked right back at him with a smile.
"But that's in the past now," he said. "All of that horribleness wasn't really you, and now is your opportunity to change things. Now is your chance to make things better. And I'm here to help, if you'll let me."
Dave smiled. "Thank you."
They sat in a comfortable silence again, watching Coach Sylvester yell at the Cheerios again. Dave couldn't quite believe this was happening. Kurt was sitting next to him, being nice to him and offering to help him through all this. It almost didn't seem real. But there was something else he still couldn't get out of his head.
"You said you were spoken for," he said. "Hope you don't mind me asking, but who's the lucky guy?"
Kurt smiled to himself. "Remember when you kissed me and I brought my friend from Dalton to talk to you and you asked if he was my boyfriend?"
"Well way to predict the future, David."
The both laughed, and Dave felt his stomach do a little flip. Kurt had said his name. His first name, his proper name. The name only teachers and his parents called him. It felt good.
"I'm happy for you," he said.
"And dying of jealousy?" said Kurt with a smirk.
"Yeah, that too," Dave laughed.
"You know, I'm sure Blaine would be happy to talk to you too," said Kurt. "He's really good at giving advice. And I know that it really is a nice feeling knowing that there are people in the world that get you."
Dave nodded and smiled – genuinely smiled. It was strange feeling so happy.
"It's going to get worse before it gets better," said Kurt, taking hold of Dave's hand. "But you're not alone."
They sat on the bleachers, holding hands and looking out onto the football field, not really needing to talk. Dave had honestly never been happier. Things were going to get better. He could feel it.
"So how's school?" asked Blaine as they sat down with their coffee. "Haven't been treated too badly I hope."
"No," said Kurt. "It's all been rather dramatic actually."
Blaine raised his eyebrows as he sipped his coffee.
"What happened?" he asked anxiously. "Are you okay?"
Kurt laughed. "It's not about me. Not really anyway. It's about Dave Karofsky. He came out to everyone yesterday."
Kurt nodded, drinking some of his coffee.
"Wow," said Blaine, dipping some biscotti in his drink. "So that just... happened?"
"He said that he snapped," said Kurt. "All the guys in his gym class were insulting basically everyone in Dalton and threatening to bully me into transferring back, and it was just the final straw for him."
Blaine's eyebrows furrowed. "Did you tell you all this himself?"
"Yeah, but it spread around the whole school by the end of the day. Different versions of it, depending on who was telling the story. But David told me it all himself."
"David?" Blaine said quizzically. "So you guys are on first name terms now?"
"Threatened, are we?" Kurt smirked.
"No," said Blaine, unconvincingly.
Kurt smiled and took hold of Blaine's hand, giving it a squeeze.
"I'm being supportive," he said. "Just like you were with me. David really needs someone right now, and I told him that you and I would be there for him."
Blaine looked worried. "But you know how he feels about you. He kissed you, after all."
"Just because he's finally come out doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to fall for him. I know he still has feelings for me – he's kind of the reason why I haven't really been bullied since I went back to McKinley. He won't let anyone touch me. But you don't have anything to worry about, Blaine."
Blaine smiled and squeezed Kurt's hand back. "Yeah, I know. I guess I'm just a little insecure about all this. About us. I can't really believe someone as perfect as you actually wants to be my boyfriend. I keep expecting you to come to your senses and leave."
Kurt chuckled. "The feeling is mutual, trust me. But David is just going to be our friend, nothing more than that. There's no need to feel so insecure. I'm not going anywhere. We may go to different schools now, but I'm always going to be all yours."
They both smiled widely at each other.
"I would lean over and kiss you right now," said Blaine. "But that old couple on the next table has been glaring at us since we started holding hands."
Kurt looked over at the old couple frowning disapprovingly at them, and he couldn't help but laugh.
"I think they're just jealous of our young love," he said with a smirk. "Let them glare all they want."
The laughed before both leaning forward to kiss each other softly. It didn't feel as if life could get any better than this, but at the same time they knew that it would.
Hope you enjoyed all this, Humble Readers :)
Chuck some reviews my way.