Author: When You're Gone PM
"I'm sorry for what I said." "I'm sorry for what I did." "I'm sorry for everything." Please read and reveiw.Rated: Fiction K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Words: 981 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 04-12-11 - id: 6899802
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I'm sorry, Mom.
I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I'm sorry for trying to get back at you in the worst way possible – by getting back at myself. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt everybody.
You were never the easiest person in the world to talk to. You never listened to me, even when I did speak. Or maybe you did. Maybe I just led myself to believe that you never listened to me, that no one listened to me just so that I would have an excuse for doing something as stupid as I did.
I'm sorry for the day in Disneyland. It was my fault, all of it, no matter what anyone says. I shouldn't have called Willow over to see what I was doing – I can't even remember what it is, now. I guess it's not important anymore. The main thing though was that I should've brought that stupid letter, the one that would've proved you were innocent. If I had brought that like you asked me, you wouldn't have went to sue the people of Disneyland, and you wouldn't have even figured out what "wrongful birth" meant. Then all of this dreadful year wouldn't have happened.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm sorry I'm not the daughter I know you need me to be. I'm sorry for not telling you what I thought and wanted, as if I thought you didn't care. I'm sorry that I scared you. I'm sorry I scared everybody.
I always knew you weren't my real father, and that you would never love me as much as you love Willow, no matter what you do. I think you think you do, but the truth is, you can't, because she's your flesh and blood, and you would do anything for her, even kill my mother. But let's face it; you wouldn't kill Mom for me, now would you?
I'm sorry for clogging our pipes with my dirty, little secret. That was my fault too, and no one tried to convince me otherwise. I just believed that if I did these terrible things, then everything would be alright. I know it doesn't make sense to you…why should it? It won't make sense to anybody. I guess it was just kinda like…if I was in physical pain, there would be no more emotional pain. If I threw up the real bad stuff inside of me, there would be no mental bad stuff locked away inside. It sound's silly, but it's true. But I'm better now, Dad, and I have you to thank for that.
I'm sorry, Emma.
I'm sorry that our parents got in the way of our friendship. I'm sorry for trying to get back at you and your little "friends" by making myself seem like an outcast, making you seem like a little cow, in some people's eyes. I'm sorry our relationship fell apart. I'm sorry most of my relationships fall apart.
I don't know why I'm apologising to you. After all, it was you who fell out with me; I tried to put our parent's problems away in their world, and keep our friendship in ours. But you couldn't deal with that, and I guess that if it was my mother being sued by Piper, I would've been angry at you too, at your whole family.
I'm sorry for terrifying you in the bathroom. You must have been scared – I know you hate people throwing up, and it must be way worse, seeing that your best friend is making herself sick. I must thank you too though, even if you don't think you did anything. You did. You told your mom about my problems, even if you weren't sure, even if it was just a hunch, but she still told my parents, which at the time seemed a really bad thing, until I realised you saved my life. What if what happened to Willow happened to me? What if, unlike her, I didn't make it? It would have crushed people, that I can see now. We may still hate each other, but you did me a solid. Thank you.
Lastly, I'm sorry, Willow.
I'm sorry for yelling at you all those times. I'm sorry for telling you that you don't matter, when you matter more than anyone in this world. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for making everyone cry.
You are the greatest sister anyone could wish for. Your silly little facts, and your quirky little ways. The way you yelled at strangers when they called you a "sweet little girl", even though you weren't little, you were six. The way your smile lit up the whole room, no matter how tense and awkward the previous situation had been.
I'm sorry for everything. For not realising how important you really are. For underestimating you cleverness and for making you think you were stupid, even if it was only for a few minutes. The day you slit your wrist was the scariest day of my life, even scarier than when I first did it. I hate that it was me how made you want to hurt yourself, and when you told me that it was because I seemed happy, my heart fell to the pit of my stomach, and I don't think it's came back up yet, not since your accident. I'm sorry I never told you how I feel before you left me.
I love you, little sister, and I miss you every day.