Author: sparklylulz PM
"She had spent months hating Jesse, yet as she watched him dance in front of her, she realized it wasn't hate she had been feeling- just hurt that he had left her; hurt that she couldn't stop caring about him, after all he had done." -St. BerryRated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Rachel B. & Jesse sJ. - Words: 3,530 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 04-23-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6932842
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: So it's official, J. Groff is coming back to us! So in order to be thoroughly prepared I wrote this little ficlet in welcome. So this take place and does contain some prom spoilers, however I did not use who were actual King & Queen, just who I would enjoy. Also, be gentle because I didn't want to make Sam an ass, since I love him. This is totally AU and only what I would make happen if I owned Glee, sadly I do not.
'but it was not your fault, but mine, and it was your heart on the line.
I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, m'dear?
-Mumford & Sons
Rachel Berry lived her life in a perfectly organized manner, from the way she woke up in the morning to the way she dressed- it all had order. She hated not having control of her life but lately that seemed to be a recurring theme. She knew what everyone said about high school and love and how no one really knows, but Rachel Berry is very confident in her IQ and her common sense and she knows she loved Finn.
Why would it hurt this much, (god how had she never known that it would hurt this much), if she didn't love him? Sure she had been hurt and deeply upset after the Jesse debacle, but she blamed that on the abandonment issues she felt from her mother and not so much Jesse. Now that she thought back to that moment, the one where she knew Jesse was a spy, she felt something akin to pain sear her heart.
She hadn't fully registered what was happening until the fourth egg or so, her shock had been too much to turn and leave. She watched, almost in comical slow motion, as Jesse stepped forward, that demented look on his normally handsome face. She hated thinking about Jesse, because Jesse was the only boy to break through her exterior and see her true hopes and dreams. Some days she was sure she hated him, others she didn't know how she felt about him.
Her eyes followed Quinn and Finn's progress down the hall as they campaigned for prom king and queen, then her line of sight fell on Sam. Sam Evans had never particularly interested her, simply because his voice was not a threat vocally. She had no time for what she thought was the boy equivalent of Quinn, but after seeing him stand up for Kurt, she had realized that while Sam maybe the boy version of Quinn, he was the better version of what Quinn could be.
His eyes lingered on the couple's interlocked fingers, a twitch in his right eye told Rachel that he was obviously as distressed by the new power couple as her. She was then struck with a wave a genius since then unparalleled by young aspiring stars such as her. She couldn't believe it had taken her this long to come to the idea. Sometimes she was silly, she reasoned, but now what she was going to do.
She was going to ask Sam to the prom with her, that would show Quinn and Finn.
She made her quick, determined steps to Sam before he left for their next class. He looked a little surprised to see Rachel standing at his locker door, her owl sweater sending off her usual crazy vibes, however he didn't really mind Rachel that much and he did sort of feel sorry for her.
"Uh.. hey, Rachel." He said, closing his locker and swinging his back pack up onto his shoulders.
Rachel put on her game face that usually alerted individuals more acquainted with her that she was about to give an ultimatum. Fortunately for her, Sam didn't really know the many faces Rachel Berry that well and she chose to use that to her advantage.
"Sam, I couldn't help but notice the manner at which you were, shall we say, sadly regarding the new relationship formed between Quinn and Finn," she paused for breath and he tried to interject but she simply cut him off, "And I understand, especially with the way Quinn carelessly threw you to wolves. However, I believe that the best way to rectify the situation of the gross deception by them on both our parts would be to attend prom together." She spoke confidently, her winning smile never leaving her face.
It took Sam's brain a moment to process just exactly what Rachel had said in all those words. Rachel Berry was asking him to prom as a way to gain revenge on Quinn and Finn for breaking their hearts. Huh, he definitely had not been expecting that. He pulled a sympathetic expression with her.
"Rachel, I'm sorry but I'm going to Columbus with my mom that weekend to see my grandma." He watched Rachel's smile fade, and realized what she must be thinking, "I'm not lying to you, either. I actually am going, you can ask my mom and everything!"
Rachel perked up at this, "Oh, well that's okay, Sam. I just thought it would mutually beneficial for both of us. Thank you very much for your time." She turned to leave but Sam caught her arm and smiled down to her.
"If I were going to be home though, I would definitely go to prom with you, Rachel. You're pretty cool." That left Rachel feeling much better about herself for the rest of the day.
Rachel Berry loved shopping contrary to what some people at school might say about her wardrobe, she spent a lot of time and money on her outfits that she wore everyday. Naturally the idea of prom dress shopping was a big excitement for her. This time, however, she had enlisted the help of Kurt to make sure she didn't go too crazy with her dress choice.
"Oh my god, please tell me you're not serious." Kurt exclaimed as she came out of the fitting room, he looked to Blaine for help, "Please tell me she's not serious."
Rachel looked down at the ruffled and feathered pink dress she had chosen as soon as she entered the room. She now looked back up to Kurt in outrage at what exactly was wrong with her dress. "What?" She asked finally.
"Rachel, while I am a man that can fully appreciate the use of feathers- you look like you massacred an entire flock of flamingos and put them into a dress that can only be labeled a montrosi-" However, Blaine being the sensible one, lay his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder to quiet him.
"I believe what Kurt is trying to say," He shot Kurt a look, "is simply that this dress may be a little too over the top." Blaine said apologetically. Rachel glanced at herself in the mirror again, "Perhaps it is too busy."
"Hallelujah! She's seen the light." Kurt said sarcastically, turning to look at other dresses when his eyes lit up. "I've found it!" He exclaimed rushing towards a rack and plucking a pink and black slim gown off.
"It's very Hollywood chic and will also fit your body type!" He grinned practically throwing the dress at Rachel. She rushed to the fitting room not wanting to face Kurt's rathe if she didn't get the dress on within the next minute and thirty seconds. When she walked out into the area where Kurt was sitting, he leapt out of his seat.
"It's perfect! Finn will eat his heart out!" Kurt grinned, causing Rachel to blush and turn to the mirror where she did have to admit that she loved the dress. It was plain but in a beautiful, old fashioned way. She made up her mind that this was the dress for her.
As she was buying her dress Kurt and Blaine rushed off to find tuxes for the prom now that Kurt was planning on transferring back to McKinley and Blaine would be accompanying him as a prom date. Rachel made her way to the checkout counter and found herself starring at the back of a curly head of hair. With a plunge of what felt like icy water to her abdomen she realized she knew that head.
Jesse St. James was standing in front of her, smiling his beautiful smile and holding what appeared to be a tux. Rachel wished she could bury her head like an ostrich in the sand. Too late, he'd already spotted her.
"Rachel." He spoke in his musical voice, causing Rachel's tiny hand to ball into fists. He had a lot of nerve talking to her here.
"Jesse." She spoke back with a bitter tone, glaring at him. He simply chuckled at her. "Still haven't forgiven me, I see?" She saw red and began to poke him in the chest.
"Forgiven you for what exactly Jesse? Lying to me for months; only dating me to manipulate me for my mother; helping to ensure New Directions lost Regionals; allowing all of Vocal Adrenaline to publicly humiliate me; cracking an egg on my face; or just breaking my heart in general?" She asked viciously, causing him to flinch from the hurt in her voice.
"Look, I know I was a major douchebag. But I did love you Rachel." He spoke confidently, however Rachel just glared again.
"Oh no, you don't Jesse. You do not get to say that to me after what you put me through!" She half yelled at him, causing the cashier to look at them in alarm. Jesse, however, squared his shoulders and fixed Rachel with an equally intimidating stare.
"Like it was so easy for me to watch you moon over Hudson!" He snapped, causing Rachel to raise a small balled fist and punch him squarely in the cheek.
"What the hell, Rachel!" He winced, rubbing his face from her surprisingly powerful punch. He glared at her, but his ace softened once the vulnerability in her features became apparent.
"You have no right, no right. I loved you. Yes, Finn was a large target of my affection for sometime, but you were my entire world, Jesse." She paused for a moment before she spat, "Obviously neither of you were worth it."
She pushed past him to ring her dress up before he could say anything else that would hurt her. "Look, I dunno what Hudson did to you but, you're better than him. And, I loved you too, Rachel. Have fun at prom." He said quietly, but she didn't even bother looking at him as she rushed out of the store.
She did something that night that she swore she'd never do again; she cried herself to sleep because of Jesse St. James.
Prom night appeared much more quickly than she intended it to, it seemed that since her abrupt meeting with Jesse time had just sped forward. She had rushed through the week preceding the big event busy in glee and thinking of Jesse. When she thought of Jesse it didn't hurt so much to watch Finn and Quinn battle with Lauren and Puck for prom king and queen.
Kurt had made his triumphant and dramatic transfer back to McKinley because he really did miss the glee club, and the members of New Directions had decided that one of the jocks or Lauren would always be with Kurt to ensure that Karofsky would leave him alone.
So that left Rachel in Kurt's living room awkwardly watching Finn and Quinn have their pictures taken by Carole and Burt before it was Kurt and Blaine's turn. Mercedes squeezed Rachel's hand and smiled over at her. Since she had given up the closing solo in the fundraiser to her fellow glee member, Mercedes had been a best friend Rachel had never known before.
"You guys ready to go meet Tina, Mike, Artie, Brittany and Santana at Breadstix?" Kurt asked, his hand clasped in Blaine's, a sense of happiness that Rachel had never associated with him wafting through the air.
"Psh, you know it!" Mercedes laughed, pulling Rachel off the couch.
As she made her way out the door, she felt a hand on her arm and she looked up, Finn was staring down at her, Quinn had already made her way to the car. Rachel looked into Finn's dark eyes and couldn't help thinking they weren't near as pretty as Jesse's.
"I, uh, just wanted to say that you, uh, you look really great tonight, Rach. Beautiful." He stumbled through the words and smiled his charming half smile. Before she could respond, he was making his way back to where Quinn stood, waiting for him.
She blinked a couple of times before she made her way to Kurt's SUV and climbed in next to Mercedes for the ride to Breadstix. Her mind swirled around Finn's words and she hated the fact that she wished it had been another boy that had told her. A boy with curly hair and lighter eyes, she lay her head against the cool window, allowing herself to pretend she wasn't going to prom alone.
"Now, Rachel, don't be mad, okay?" Her eyes snapped open and she sat up looking at Kurt with a curious expression.
"We just wanted to help since you've been so upset lately..." Mercedes continued, her face wore a nervous expression, alarming Rachel further. What on earth could they have done? She gazed at them as they exited the vehicle.
Then she knew why they were apologizing. It was like being slapped in the face with a cold slushy.
Jesse was standing in front of her, his black tux and pink vest matching her dress perfectly. She just stood in her shocked daze for a good thirty seconds before she turned with irritation to Kurt and Mercedes, who looked appropriate amounts of terrified.
"Why is he here?" She asked, her gloved hands pointing to the boy standing a few feet away. It wasn't Kurt or Mercedes who answered, however, but Jesse.
"I asked them to help me a few weeks ago. I transferred to NYU, because I didn't enjoy California, and when I came back to Ohio, I heard tell from Vocal Adrenaline about Finn and Quinn." He sighed and stepped towards her, "I begged them to help me pull this off for you, I know how much prom meant to you. I know I didn't make a great impression a few weeks ago," He rubbed his cheek, "But I didn't mean to upset you."
"We know he did you wrong, girl," Mercedes said, "But he did want to help you, he was honest and apologized to all of us and is the reason we're all eating out tonight and why prom is so damn nice this year."
Rachel, still stunned, forced her brain to work through what each of them had said to her before she narrowed her eyes. "So you bought your way in?" She glared and to her indignation, Jesse simply laughed at her.
"No, I just wanted to make tonight special, for you, Rachel. So please let me take you to prom and if you never want to see me again at the end of the night, you'll never see me again. Just, don't fight this." He implored and she found that looking into his eyes didn't help her resolve, then her head nodded because what did she have to lose? She took a step towards him.
"We're gonna be late for our reservations." He simply smiled back at her, his arm curling around her waist.
It really was a beautiful prom, the red carpet theme was very well displayed as she walked the red carpet into the ballroom, knowing that this was the first of many red carpets that she would walk in her life. She remembered when she used to think it would be Finn next to her on those occasions, then when she had planned on it to be Jesse, a power couple.
"You look beautiful tonight, by the way. That dress is perfect." Jesse said smoothly into her ear, and she felt his warm breath send a tingle down her spine. She couldn't help but smile as he lead her into the building, his arm still tightly wrapped around her.
"May I have this dance?" He asked as they stood watching their friends, his hand extended. She smiled back at him.
"Of course." She spoke evenly. He pulled her on to the dance floor, both allowing the music to pump through their bodies, allowing them to dance without a care in the world.
Rachel wasn't sure that even in her wildest dreams she could have foreseen this night. She had spent months hating Jesse, yet as she watched him dance in front of her, she realized it wasn't hate she had been feeling- just hurt that he had left her; hurt that she couldn't stop caring about him, after all he had done.
"All right guys, this is the first couple's dance of the night so grab your date and make your way to the dance floor." Mr. Schuester said into the mic on stage.
Jesse grinned at her as the first few notes wafted through the air, and he sang softly along as couples flooded the dance floor. "I've been alone with you inside my mind." She smiled at the familiar memory and he pulled her towards him, spinning them through the room.
His voice was still as beautiful as she remembered and she still managed to get lost in it, watching his lips as he sang gently to her. It was their song, it always had been, because it was the song that changed everything for her.
"I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile- you're all I've ever wanted." Her voice joined his as they swayed, feeling like they were the only two in the whole room, though she could see Kurt and Blaine dancing a few feet away.
As the song continued, Rachel thought of something that she needed an answer to, only from him.
"Jesse, can I ask you something?" She spoke, a nervous quality to her voice that showed her vulnerability to him. He looked at her with his curious gaze.
"Anything, Rachel." He said honestly and she couldn't stop herself from believing him. Her eyes glanced over his shoulder to where Finn and Quinn were dancing and the sight helped the further her resolve.
"When you kissed me..." She began, her nerves still in her voice as she looked back to his beautiful face, "Did... did you see fireworks?" She finally asked, feeling silly.
His face had a small frown as he gazed down at her, he seemed to be thinking about his answer, then he brushed a lock of curled hair out of her face. "No, Rachel." He spoke calmly, and she felt her heart break a little bit.
"I saw stars." He continued, smiling down at her. In that instant Rachel felt like she was going to float away from the happiness inside of her. She flung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips firmly against his.
As he moved against her, she realized how stupid she had been. She had believed that she loved Finn, when really, it had been Jesse all along. She had loved him and that's why she had thrown herself into Finn. She wanted to feel the way Jesse made her feel; she had wanted to feel like this.
"I'm so sorry for everything I did to you, Rachel." He said as they pulled apart, but she understood. She knew that she would have done the same thing to him, had the roles been reversed.
"I love you." She blurted out, causing him to lean down and recapture her lips with his own. His joy was palpable and mixed with hers.
"I love you too." He spoke, his lips connecting with her forehead. Hugging her to him, a feeling that Rachel never hoped to forget again.
She watched Finn and Kurt win prom king and queen that night, and felt a sense of justice at Quinn's loss, but also as she watched Finn dance with his brother, she was surprised to find that she was the lucky one, not Quinn.
Fireworks were one thing, but they were quick and fizzled out in an undignified manner, whereas stars burned for centuries and ended in a supernova. She'd take the supernova any day, she decided as Jesse kissed her goodnight.
Here is the link to Rachel's dress, which my friend wore to our Home Coming and would look amazing on Lea in my opinion.
Rachel- http:/ jukunuli . webuda . com/images/320 . jpg