|A Not So Sexual Man
Author: Aseru PM
"And with that glare and those tight jeans and that tighter black shirt - and oh god, that hair. Yeah, he was defiantly turned on."- From Chapter 2. Another, not so avaerage Yullen. With a few other pairings that will have an impact. How 'bout it?Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Family - Kanda Yuu & Allen Walker - Chapters: 13 - Words: 59,413 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 05-05-12 - Published: 04-24-11 - id: 6934221
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Heya's. I'm soooooo sorry.
There is an explanation, which I will give at the bottom, but I'll butter ya up with chapter first.
(Skeptical Face) At the bottom then...
"And I will make sure to keep my distance.
Say "I love you" when you're not listening.
How long can we keep this up, up, up?..."
"Distance" -Christina Perri
A-(Not So)-Sexual Man
Chapter the Tenth:
How We'll Go
I remember when they died. I was fifteen. One morning they were there, and we said good-bye; and they never came back. I remember the funeral- barely. More so remember that Robin never cried. She sat for three days, in the window seat in our living room that was so quiet. I laid on the couch, just on the other side of the room, for the majority of those three days, in an out of consciousness.
I remember that silence so well, and I'm sure it's what drove me half mad for those following months. But even more, I just remember staring at the grand piano that sat to the other side of the room, and in my head- those three days- it never stopped playing.
"There is always music in your mind, even when the wind doesn't dare to make a sound."
I remembering thinking my father was insane when he told me that- but during that time, I would watch Robin's head sway a bit, and I wondered if she could hear the same music I could. The same music that eventually made me stand, walk over to the piano and close the cover over the keys- shutting out the music. And when she met my eyes, I think we both knew it was time to move on.
"And every demon wants his pound of flesh.
But I like to keep some things to myself-
I like to keep my issues drawn.
It's always darkest before the dawn..."
"Shake It Out" -Florence + The Machine
Chaoji Han was a baker. Allen Walker hadn't been impressed, even hid it well after being fed, and fed, and fed... And, "You know," Robin finally decided to tell him, "That you're still eating say a lot more than that scowl." And Allen glared at his sister and he took another cinnamon roll.
"I don't like him," Allen tried to say. Kanda actually snorted, watching the roll disappear in second.
"But you like his cooking- baking, whatever," he added before Robin could correct him again, "So you'll learn to like him." Allen huffed, taking yet another roll, while Robin cast an amused smile at the dark-haired man when Kanda let his eyes roll again.
But in the family there was a lot more going on than just Chaoji and Robin's wedding. The twins returned home on the weekend following Allen and Tyki's return from Houston. Wisely had effectively boarded himself up, minus the few times Allen has stormed his apartment for one thing or another.
And by that particular Tuesday, as Wisely finally plopped into the chair in front of his desk, Allen wondered how much stress Lulu's demands had put on him. The manor, or the twins' reputation- Allen wouldn't have wanted to make the choice.
In Adam's will, the manor was left to, first- Wisely, second- the family. And obviously, in Wisely's mind, the manor- which most of the family hadn't even stepped foot into in years- meant less than risking the public respond badly to the twins' lifestyle.
The fiscal demands that Lulu had made where the real problem. And after a face-to-face verbal spar, Allen was pretty sure she wasn't moving on those. Though he was more than willing to have the woman kicked out of the house for being... a bitch. Cyril said he needed a bit more, Allen didn't really think it would be that hard.
"She's not blood," he had said, finding that the even tone of his voice didn't match how his insides were twitching with frustration, "And her marriage to Adam was never even finalized before the accident." But in reality, Adam's signature had been on the paper, Lulu's signed hours later, but still two hours before he'd been pronounced dead. By the clock, they had been legally married about thirty minutes by the time the plane had gone down- the church wedding a mere two days later.
And none of them could find a way around that.
The physical home that Wisely had grown up in his entire life, didn't seem to be his priority though. He'd been moved out for near three years now. The only things that kept Allen from just agreeing though, were far-faded memory. He would have had to have been no older than ten. But he could remember it perfectly, it was been shortly after the twins mother, Abigail, died. Because watching Wisely sit in the parlor with the older twin, he'd learned what it was to care about someone you had no obligation to.
It was also the last place that the entire family had crowded into one space in. And Allen had found, as he had dug through the attic of the old house, that there were some things that he knew they wouldn't be able to replace.
You can't move memories. You can't shove decade old feelings and family shared pains into an eleven by fourteen storage area to be sorted through later. Because Allen didn't want Lulu-fucking-Bell-Walker to blackmail Wisely out of the place that he'd grown up- the same place Allen had last been able to hug his mother or smile at his father. The last place they'd all been a real family.
"Why are you the one fighting this harder than him," Cyril asked, his voice low but still loud enough to make Allen's head snap up, and meet the concerned amber eyes staring back at him. It took him a second to remember where he was, even though the black, gray and gold lines of his office on the top floor of the Ark Records main building were for every reason his second home; complete with hideaway bathroom, and a spare change of clothes.
"Because I'm not the one being directly blackmailed with the people I love." Wisely didn't look from the floor, where he sat in the plush black chair next to the elder Kamelot. Cyril however let his face shift to a look that wanted him to continue. "We all have our reasons for wanting that place kept in our hands. I'm no exception."
"I figured that, Allen." But Allen couldn't tell if that was Cyril's way of conceding, because he was still being pinned with that scalpel-like look.
"Well, good morning family," Tyki called, suddenly bursting through the double doors. Wisely let out a near immediate huff, his head finally turning up to where the elder man was over-joyously trotting his way into the room.
Allen found himself following suit, and found his lips cracking a smile as he watched both Tyki and Lavi Bookman giving giant, much needed, chipper smiles and airs. The smaller, much older man between them even seemed amused with their antics, as Bookman senior followed his grandson into the room.
Lavi had grown into the family, Allen suddenly realized. Though he also realized right then, that he'd never even had a one-on-one talk with the red-head. Kanda, Tyki or Wisely had always been there with them. Suddenly he was watch alertly as the conversation began instantly between the two Bookmen's and Cyril. The three minds of Law and Literature meeting and discussing the happenings. Because it had been suggested and agreed on that a none family-owned lawyer should probably deal with this matter. A private, close- but still unassociated- third-party should decided that a family-matter was being lawfully handled. Or, as much as it could be, with blackmail involved. Lavi had even suggested his own grandfather after he and Cyril had agreed on it.
Lulu's mouth would be sewed shut with a piece of paper promising jail time if she tried to open it.
Allen was contemplating trying to make her after this was done.
Maggie was next to trickle into the room, Cross with her. Allen watched her round the room, giving him a smile as she had entered.
Robin wasn't far behind. She gave her own hello's, before quietly sitting herself in the chair at the corner of his desk. They gave no smiles, no greeting- this was one of the first times in recent history that they'd both been present for a family struggle.
It would also be the first that non-family was present, he realized, as Kanda slipped quietly into the room. There were only small acknowledgements for him as the facts slipped around the room. Allen didn't bother to listen as Maggie finally started to yell, choosing instead to watch as the outcasts gathered to his right. Kanda was verbally greeted by Robin and Allen listened to that. And again, as Lavi moved to take the seat next to Robin, while Kanda remained standing. The noise was reaching a near war volume; Cross and Maggie verses Cyril and Wisely- and then cobalt met ash and the small encouraging smile he got nearly made Allen's mind short-circuit.
"Hey," Jas suddenly interrupted from the door, and the room was instantly hushed. Allen noticed that Wisely had already sat back down, before he bothered to confirm that the twins and Rhode had arrived- complete with Jas and Rhode's fingers locked together.
"Sit down," Allen finally decided to speak. And he watched as everyone but Bookman Senior and Kanda moved to take seats in the most orderly fashion imaginable. And then even the elder Bookman plopped into the seat behind him, seeming startled with how much order the busy room was suddenly filled with. "Cyril," he started again, now knowing they were all paying attention, "Please, start at the beginning, one more time. And please, no interruptions." Cyril took a slow, deep breath- Allen watched as Wisely took to hiding as much as his face behind his hands as he could. And then they listened.
"Have some composure!
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no!
You're pulling the trigger-
Pulling the trigger!
"Time To Dance" -Panic! At The Disco
He'd watched his family behave like this since he was born. They would bend to Neah's mere suggestion in the face of a crisis. His word was absolute after Noah had died. He had been raised to know the right answers, and he'd taught both his children those answers. And then he died. Robin fell apart- and with Noah's last son, Allen had been taught every trick he knew. Neah had played the music every day of their lives, Allen and Robin had listened hungrily. Now, even after he'd been dead years, they could play every phrase from memory.
"Cause she's just like the weather, can't hold her together.
Born from dark water, daughter of the rain and snow.
Cause it's burning through the bloodline-
It's cutting down the family tree.
Growing in the landscape, darling, in between you and me..."
"Landscape" -Florence + The Machine
"Wisely, darling, I didn't realize you were here." The son of the oldest Walker son cringed as he heard the
sugary voice assault him.
"Oh, hey Lu," he made himself smile as he turned to look at the worst thing his father had given him.
Her smile was Barbie perfect, her eyes though were rigged with barbed wire. Her hair was salon bleached and her perfect tanned skin was paid for. Her boobs were fake and her ass was hairless, as far as Wisely was willing to guess; she was the kind of women that made him hate women. She paid for people to make her prettier than anything inside her.
"You didn't say you'd be stopping in- I would have asked Janet to make dinner."
Wisely had to laugh, "The manor's had the same cook for sixteen years, Lulu. Her name is Karen." They'd never gotten along; he had never tried. "I just had to grab something anyway." Her facial expression hadn't changed since she'd stopped speaking. "I'm leaving already."
Then he'd noticed that the barbed wire in her eyes was gleaming. Right before she pouted and gave him a solemn smile. "You've never liked me, have you Wisely."
He didn't lie. "You never gave me a reason too."
"I never gave the opposite, though."
"No. You didn't."
And then she reassessed, before the spikes turned to strike. "I told your father when we met, started to date; I don't like kids." He'd noted how she spat the word. "He said you were independent. Finny was already in college, the twins stuck to you."
She laughed, and for the first time in the conversation, Wisely felt something cringe in his gut.
"But, you know," she continued, "It didn't matter after I met you, 'cause you wouldn't talk to me anyway." She readjusted herself, centering her body more in the doorway of the study. She had him trapped, and Wisely was listening.
"Your father said I'd grow on you," she seemed glum about that idea. "Then he died."
She smiled at him then. It made his skin crawl.
"So, Mr. Walker, let's be frank, for once." She was serious. "We don't get along. We don't agree on anything. And, I don't want to see you, ever again." Her smile was plastic. "But that's hard when you come into my house, unannounced and unwanted." Her hair was from a bottle. "And then I remember, you father left you this place. But then you don't live here, do you?" Her skin was burnt by bulbs. "You don't see the staff, and you come and go at your leisure." Her breasts were silicon. "This place isn't your home." She'd probably slept with the person who bleached her ass "But, it is my home." And at that moment, Wisely had hated her more that he'd ever hated anyone in his life.
"Not on your life." He'd almost gotten mad. But Lulu Bell-Walker, in her mind, knew how to pacify any beast.
"How's Devi been doing?" She was still smiling, as Wisely was suddenly swept away with a wave of nausea. "He doesn't come home as much as you."
"Leave him outta this," he found himself growling.
"No," was all she cared to say.
And Wisely had seen himself in her eyes, that barbed wire cutting him apart.
"What do you want?"
"My home, this place; it only legally yours. It's mine, and no one needs to know about the Walker brother's incest." He didn't try to defend himself, for the first time in his life; she wouldn't have cared to listen to the lineage. "Because I image it wouldn't go over well with the public, right?"
He hadn't been able to speak.
"And of course, the finances to maintain it," she smiled, "Wouldn't want to see the house fall apart, right?"
She knew that, though.
Her face was suddenly stone; her jaw set, eyes open, smile flat, posture of a statue. He could finally see her, under all the bought beauty. "I'm sure you'll see it my way soon enough."
And then she was gone from the doorway, but Wisely had seen her in that doorway, at the back of his mind for weeks. She called every other day; asking how he was, how Dev was, her voice always that sugary tone. She'd call again and again if he didn't answer. It was psychological torture, he knew that; he's studied the art in college damnit.
But he threats were real. He'd noticed there were people following him, following Dev. Not paparazzi, bad people; Lulu's people. And suddenly his options had seemed limited. He hadn't told Dev from the beginning- first mistake. He'd let her get in his head- second mistake. And it all just snow balled from there.
Sitting in Allen's office, the entire family in a stunned silence as Cyril told them all of this, Wisely knew that- he knew he'd let it get out of control. He could feel Dev staring at him, where he was nearly in a ball in the chair next to the elder Kamelot. But, then to now, what had he been able to do?
As Cyril finished, no one dared to speak. This was a family meeting, no one would- not until Allen allowed them to. That was just how their family worked.
"Alright," Allen himself spoke first, "There's the details." When Wisely finally looked up, his eyes immediately met that bright slate, that all at once were, calm, collected, supportive and in an utter rage. It'd been a long time since he'd seen Allen look like that, Wisely realized. But then he smiled, and for the first time in nearly a year, Adam's only son felt like there was finally a ray of light. "Now, here's how this is going to go."
I Hate (this version, that I made) of Lulu Bell. (Blank face)
[Apology, please hear me out]
About six months ago, shortly after I started working, I found out I have nerve damage in both arms. It affects the outer three fingers on my hands. Too much use made them sensitive, and then eventually numb. Then, several hours after that, provided I stopped using them, they would wake up. Like, ya know when your foot falls asleep then you have to move to wake it up- that feeling, the tingling, would be slow and last for hours sometimes. It hurts.
So picture going to work at 2, I would get off at 10, which was usually when I would come home and write for you lovely people... but then they'd start hurting, and I couldn't even think straight.
So after a few delays, a lot of crying from my boss and co-workers, and a lot more stressing out, on the 26th of April, I finally got my right arm fixed. I am still in a full arm cast (as in, am typing one handed, laugh it up), but I can already feel more of those three fingers than I have been able to in about a year now.
Which also means, I'm starting to feel up to writing again. (Smiles)
And this story is up there with the top priorities.
Sooo~! Please do pass along your hate and/or happiness, if it still exists. I imagine there will be some people who don't come back, but I still won't be able to work for another four or so weeks- so hopefully the next chapter will make it's way out too.
Thanks for reading, 'cause I know I have some sucking up to do.