|Always on My Mind
Author: Chloe Winchester PM
Alice in Wonderland, Black Swan, a Western, some fairytales and Moulin Rouge. What do these things have in common? Kurt and Blaine are having naughty dreams about each other in these scenarios along with many others. Set after Klaine is at McKinleyRated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Kurt H. & Blaine A. - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,720 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 08-15-11 - Published: 04-24-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6935734
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
-Fair warning, this chapter is very, very long. And for that I apologize. Hope you like it anyway!-
Touched for the Very First Time
"Spend the night?"
"With no parents?"
Dad stared at me steadily, brow creased, thinking.
"Dad…have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" I wondered. He stared at me, still frowning.
"No. But I feel like I'm enabling you," he admitted, never faltering in his gaze.
"Dad, I'm eighteen, and so is Blaine," I reminded. He sighed, hanging his head.
"Is that what this get together is? Just an excuse for you two to-"
"No!" I assured. "No. I mean…it might happen, but it's not intended," I mumbled. "Miss Holliday said it would be good for Blaine and I to spend some time alone together. Totally alone, not like, at a movie alone. We're watching musicals all night, hardly the most sexual of activities."
Burt paused at the fridge, opening a water bottle. "I've seen RENT, Kurt." I felt myself blush.
"That's not on the itinerary," I said. He looked at me for a long time.
"I can't stop you from goin', you're too old for that," he said. "But I can tell you to be safe. And to be home tomorrow before dinner."
"I will," I squeaked. Gosh, was this a dream too?
I rushed him, hugging him. "I'll be safe, Dad. I promise." He nodded, clapping my shoulder.
"If he tries anything you don't want him to, you call me, alright?" He asked, walking to the living room. I smiled at his back, knowing he was worried.
West Side Story held absolutely no interest to me. The room around us was dark, totally dark. And here we were, totally alone. I felt Kurt breathing against me, his head resting against my chest, mouthing every word. He loosely held my hand in his, thumbing the back of my hand while I rubbed his shoulder in the same rhythm.
I kissed the top of his head, taking in a slow, deep breath. God, he smelled so good.
His orchid shampoo, his coconut hair gel, the sweet masculine smell of his cologne, the Shea butter on his hands, the baby lotion smell of his moisturizer and the gentle lavender of his body wash was not only overwhelming, but intoxicating. I mean, that's like a dozen smells on one person. And you'd think all of that together would be too much and make something awful but…but it totally doesn't.
I cleared my throat, trying to focus again. It was impossible. He looked up at me, a small smile on his perfect, pink lips, showing his dimples when he folded them.
"Are you okay?" His eyes glowed in this light, so big and round…
Breathe slow. There we go, Hummel, just breathe. My god, his so warm. I can barely carry the tune to "Tonight" and I'm surprised that he hasn't said anything about it.
I can feel him breathing against my side, so warm… His muscles were hard and taught, and I began to wonder what the skin beneath his cardigan and polo felt like. I blushed, continuing my circular movements on the back of his hand. He was rubbing my shoulder, the soft wool tickling my skin beneath it. I swallowed hard, breathing deep.
He smelled like detergent, hair-gel and cologne. It was the best thing I've ever smelled in my life. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted those intimate moments that Miss Holliday said we should have, I really did but…but I don't know how to initiate those kind of things.
He cleared his throat and I looked at him curiously.
The light sparkled off of his eyes, his gorgeous, big, brown eyes that shone in the faint blue light of the movie.
"Are you okay?"
He just kept staring at me. I chewed my lip, suddenly self conscious. "Is there something on my face or…?"
He touched my cheek, making my heart jump a little. "There is nothing wrong with your face." My heart was thundering as he leaned toward me. I'd been waiting for this all day.
His lips were gentle as usual, hands slowly working their way to holding my back. I gasped a little once they got there, feeling his fingers dig into my sweater, nails nicking my back. One hand broke away, possessively holding my cheek to keep me close.
My wrists locked together around his neck, holding him so tight, tangling my fingers in the curls he'd so graciously let free. We kissed deeply, his lips meshing perfectly with mine. I could taste his ChapStick, something he always used out of courtesy before something like this. He'd put on Soft Lips before kissing me that day I was decorating Pavarotti's casket. There was the faintest hint of stubble on his chin, his lips so wanton and desperate.
I was losing my mind. I almost forgot what doing this felt like. Holding him this close, no holding back, no parents to interrupt, no friends to interrupt and no stupid step-brothers coming downstairs for a glass of milk that freak out and run out of the room.
I could see how red his lips were getting even in this light, his breath quickening. The taste of those lips were something I couldn't describe. All I know is if I could live off of it, I definitely would.
I held his back, clutching the soft material of his sweater, my other hand on his cheek, keeping him as close as physically possible. God, his skin was softer than his clothes.
His tongue barely ventured inside my lips, enough to tease me and drive me absolutely crazy. He was the reason I was losing my mind. With his skin and his hair and his mouth…God, no one could make me feel this way the way Kurt could.
I gasped when I felt one of his hands –which were very small and adorable- start to venture their way down my neck to the hem of my shirt, slowly creeping under the polo. I choked on my breath when I felt his skin on mine. I stiffened, barely daring to breathe. I didn't want to scare him out of whatever he was doing. Apparently he did it to himself.
He barely got his palm on my stomach before retreating quickly, too frightened to keep going.
"Hey," I said softly. He looked up at me, meek. "It's alright. You can do that if you want to," I urged.
"Do…do you want me to?" He asked. I nodded shamelessly.
"Yes, I do."
His hands snaked inside my shirt again, barely touching my skin, teasing me without knowing it. I continued holding him in that same vice, letting him come to me. The last thing I wanted was to do something wrong.
I shut my eyes, focusing on the feel of his tentative hands on my skin. God, before I'd only imagined this… "Kurt." I breathed, kissing him again, this time letting my own tongue venture in, but not nearly as shyly as he did.
"Mmn!" He melted against me, hands absently gripping my sides. Slowly, very slowly, Kurt brought his tongue up to tangle with mine. Something exploded behind my eyes. Something white hot and full of millions of stars. That first spark of electricity sent fire through my whole body, causing me to clutch him tighter.
We broke apart for a moment, looking at each other, breathing hard. "Did you feel that?" I asked. He nodded slowly, lips slightly parted. It only took another moment for us to collide again, kissing feverishly, hands clawing at each other.
"Blaine," he breathed between kisses. His hands were on my chest, holding the collar of my cardigan, keeping me close to him. "I think I'm ready."
Everything went black.
"Blaine? Blaine!" I lightly tapped his face, trying to get him to wake up. His eyes fluttered open and he sat up, confused.
"What happened?" He frowned.
"Um, I think you fainted," I said softly. He turned red, burying his face in his hands.
"Oh my god, I did?" he mumbled. I nodded, touching his shoulder.
"No," he chuckled, shaking his head. "It's embarrassing is what it is. I just…" He shook his head. "I don't know."
"I meant what I said," I whispered. He looked at me. "I really did."
"Are you absolutely sure?" He breathed. I nodded.
He sat up on his knees, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me deeply, slowly, passionately. This was different from before. It was something more than just kissing. I knew that, and he did too. I let my fingers toy with the nape of his neck, making him shiver. He picked me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.
My jeans were growing increasingly tighter, almost to the point of pain. I wouldn't dare mention this to Blaine, I'd only sound stupid. He pressed me against a wall as we headed for the hallway, holding the back of my head and running his fingers through my hair. He carefully let me go, allowing me to stand, taller than him once more.
He kissed me again, sighing when I held his face, pressed against me. I'd dreamed that this would happen. That this is how it would happen, feeling the person that loved me with everything he had kiss me and hold me and touch me so gently, making sure every move was okay. Looking at Blaine looking at me here in the dark, knowing that he was just as nervous and scared as I was, this was perfect.
Kurt Hummel is in my bedroom. He's on my bed, and he wants…he wants to give the most precious gift he possesses to a dork like me.
He blinked up at me with his sweet, innocent eyes, holding my hands in his. He pulled me toward him, hugging my waist. He gently slid his hands to my stomach, carefully pushing my shirt up just enough to see a little skin. I choked on my breath again as he tenderly pressed his lips to my stomach, making me shiver a little, knees wobbly.
He looked up at me again and I touched his cheek, sitting down beside him.
"So…" he said quietly, wringing his hands. "How, um, how do we start this? I mean, this is your house." I chuckled with him, trying to breathe.
"I think we…we should…" I was leaning closer to him, so close that I could feel his eyelashes dust my cheek as he blinked. "Like, this…"
I kissed those beautiful, swollen lips, taking his hands up to the buttons on my shirt. He shakily undid them, breaking the rhythm of the kiss a few times to peek at his hands. God, he's so cute…
"It's okay," I soothed. I slid the cardigan off my shoulders, feeling goosebumps rise up my arms as he touched me. God, this was so new and wonderful, and I knew his heart was thudding just as hard as mine was. I watched his face as I reached for his sweater. He nodded, helping me pull it over his head. Now all that was left was a thin undershirt and my polo keeping our bodies a secret.
This was the least amount of clothing I'd ever seen him in, and I thought I might have an aneurism and die. I gingerly touched his arms and his shoulders, kissing him again. He gasped a little, melting into me. "Blaine," he yelped.
"Shh, it's alright," I whispered.
I tugged my shirt over my head, baring my skin to him first, knowing that he was probably more scared than I was.
Oh my god.
I mean, oh my god.
Oh my GOD! This is so much better than those dreams. This is real. He's right here, every single rippled, hard muscle. "Wow." I slowly reached out, glancing between his eyes and his…breathtaking body. I'd scanned those "Muscle Magazine" books April Rhodes gave me more times than I could count, trying to figure out what I liked, what I didn't, and Blaine looked a million times better than any of those clowns.
He inhaled deeply when I touched his skin, arcing slightly and closing his eyes. I scooted closer to him, kissing his neck and his collarbone tentatively. I felt his fingers tangle in my hair, sweat slowly creeping from his pores. There was a spatter of hair on his chest that let a sparse trail down his stomach, which I ran my hands up and down several times.
He gasped and shivered under my touch, wincing and biting his lip. "Are you alright? Am I doing this right?" I whispered.
"Yes, Kurt, you're- ah…" I kissed him, tasting his sweat. Tasting him and loving it. "You're amazing…" I blushed. I didn't feel like I was doing anything…
The things he does to me is just…god, it's almost unbearable. He's barely touched me and I've had to hold myself back several times already. He took his hands away, making me wilt a little. But when I opened my eyes…
He slowly took off his undershirt, watching me, waiting for a reaction. I could only stare at him. My god, he was so gorgeous. I knew he'd been hiding a body from me, I knew it. His skin was totally flawless, just as I'd imagined, skin so pale. God, he looked so soft. I bet he felt like silk… Oh, wait, I get to find that out!
I kissed him, slowly trailing my hands down his back. He gasped, arcing his back, touching his chest to mine.
We both stopped breathing. Our eyes locked, bodies touching each other for the first time.
"Wow." He whispered. I swallowed hard. God, I was right, I was so right!
Our kisses were heated again, passionate, his skin warm velvet under my hands. He put his hand on my chest, pushing me down and toward the pillows. I obliged, throwing my head back when he touched the waistline of my jeans.
He looked at me, waiting for the okay. I nodded, unable to speak.
He carefully undid them, using just the tips of his fingers to pull them down. His eyes grew very wide, cheeks pinked as he tossed them away.
I touched his arm. "It's alright, Kurt." His hands were shaking, and so was his chest as he reached for his pants. I sat up, taking him in my arms, stopping him.
"Shh…" I whispered. "It's alright. It's just me, love. I've got you. It's alright. We can stop right now if that's what you want."
"No," he said, looking at me, nose pinked. "No, I don't want that. I want this, Blaine. I really do."
"If you need to stop, or slow down, or just need to take a minute to relax you let me know, okay?"
We kissed again, holding each other. I fumbled around for the button and zipper, finding nothing. I frowned, wondering if these were the McQueen's with the clasp in the back. I sighed, exasperated. "Kurt, how do you get out of these damn things?"
He smiled, putting his hand on his side. "Oh," I smiled. I popped open the buttons, carefully kissing his neck. I eased his jeans off with him, my hands over his, still kissing him to keep him calm. He had the cutest little blue briefs on I'd ever seen, and he caught me smiling.
"What are you looking at?" He whispered, shy.
"I think you're beautiful," I said, smiling lightly. He shook his head a little, not looking at me. I ducked to kiss him, hard and deep to show him just how much he meant to me, and how much I meant what I said. "I mean that, Kurt. I really do."
We collapsed on the bed again, holding each other, kissing, touching. I ended up beneath him, caressing his cheek.
I wanted this. I wanted to hold him like he deserved to be held, kiss him like he deserved to be kiss, love him like he deserved to be loved, and worship his body like he deserved to be worshipped. He was the most perfect human being on the planet, and I loved him so very, very much. And right now, I wanted to show him how much I did.
I felt his hands on my chest again, tentatively working down my sides to my underwear. My heart jumped. I froze.
"Wait, wait!" I stopped.
Oh, god, I've done something wrong. I freaked him out, I scared him, I did something wrong, I overstepped some boundary I didn't know about, I hurt him, I did something wrong, I-
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked shakily.
"No, no," he shook his head. "No, I…I just need a second."
I brushed his hair back, kissing his cheek and keeping my hands on his face. "I'm sorry, I just…God, I'm being such a puss."
"Hey, hey, no." I shook my head, kissing his forehead. "If I'm allowed to take a minute, so are you."
He was the most handsome thing I've ever seen. His soft curls, his strong body. God, he was so gorgeous. And the way he looked at me. So tenderly, so lovingly, I couldn't believe that someone wanted to look at me the way Blaine does.
"I'm scared," he admitted, laughing at himself.
"There's nothing wrong with that," I assured, kissing him gently. "I'm scared too. But…but we're scared together, right?" I tugged the covers over us, smiling assuredly. "Is that better?"
He smiled a little, moving to hold my face and kiss me again. I let him, putting his hand on my waist.
"I'm okay with going first this time," I assured. He looked relieved, giving me that tender look he gave sometimes.
He helped me ease my briefs down, making me shake a little. He looked at me once they were off, eyes wide.
"Is, um, is there something wrong?" Oh god, what if I'm small or something?
"No," he breathed. "No Kurt you're, my god, you're perfect." I kissed him, keeping my face beside his as I spoke.
"So are you." He shimmied out of his own underwear, letting me see every inch of him, every single one. I couldn't breathe for a moment. This was the first time I'd ever…ever seen a naked man before. And this was Blaine. My god…I doubted a lot of other men looked as beautiful as he did.
"Oh, god, Blaine."
Kurt was the most beautiful thing in the whole world. My god, he was so gorgeous. I ran my hands down his back, slipping down to his plump, firm flesh, gently thumbing his skin. God he was so incredibly soft and warm.
He whimpered softly at my touch, the sound tickling my lips.
"You, you are so beautiful," I gasped, holding his face. I rolled over with him, hugging him to me. He blushed, going to kiss me. We missed. We giggled, pressing our foreheads together.
"Are you ready?" He squeaked. I nodded, kissing his forehead.
"Are you?" I asked, heart pounding. He swallowed hard.
"Mmhm." I went to kiss him when-
"Wait!" I looked at him. "Shouldn't…shouldn't we, um, use a…?"
"We don't have to," I said softly. "I mean, we are both virgins."
"Well, yeah, but…my dad said to be safe, and…" Shit, I'm an idiot. I didn't plan on this, I didn't expect…Oh shit, I don't have one!
"Kurt, I…I don't have one! I'm so sorry…" I pushed myself away from him with all the strength I had. "We don't have to do this now. We can wait. I can wait. It's no big deal-"
"Hey," he touched my arm, pulling me back down to face him. "It's okay. Like you said, neither of us have done anything with anyone before, right?" I nodded. He smiled a little. "I think I'll be alright."
I smiled tenderly at his words. He held my face and I held his while we kissed, so ready to be closer to him than I'd ever been close to anyone.
I pressed my hips to his, gasping when we touched. He made a noise caught between a growl, a yelp and a moan that ended up being the most attractive thing I'd ever heard.
"Sorry," he breathed. "I-I've never been touched there…before…"
Oh great. There it was, the thing I did wrong. He's staring at me like I'm from another planet.
"Really? Like…not even by, ya know, yourself?" I shook my head.
"I felt like an idiot every time I tried.
Oh shit, he tried. Oh shit!
"Blaine, are you okay?"
"Fine," I said, breathing slow. Calm down, Anderson…
"Is there something wrong with that?" I wondered quietly.
"No!" He exclaimed. "No, no, it's perfectly alright. It's okay."
He started to move again. I clung to his back as tightly as I could, leaning into the skin between his neck and his shoulder, gasping.
"Blaine! Oh…Huh!" I tugged at his curls, kissing him hard, not sure what to do with myself. "Oh my! Uhn! Yes, yes!"
He was making those noises because of me. I was doing that. God, I feel outstanding.
And he feels so good…
"Kurt! Ah! Oh, Kurt!"
Things got blurry after a minute. There was a moment when I didn't know if I was touching my skin or his, sweat slicking our bodies, a whirlwind of emotions tangling us tighter than the sheets.
Something coiled in my stomach, something wonderful that was coming hard and fast.
It may not have lasted long, but my god it was so wonderful.
Tears welled in my eyes, and to my surprise, they were in his too. We smiled at each other, laughing ever so softly. We kissed, tears on our faces. I couldn't tell if it was because we were overwhelmed or happy or both.
"Come here." I pulled him into my arms, looking at him. He smiled sleepily at me.
"I think Miss Holliday was right," he mumbled.
"Me too," I whispered. "Now go to sleep."
"Okay," those gorgeous eyes fell closed.
He smiled a little. "No. My biggest dream is right here." He nuzzled into my chest. Tears sprang in my eyes again. "I love you, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."
My own smile grew. "I love you too, Blaine Warbler Anderson." He snorted softly, shaking his head.
He was perfect. Completely and totally perfect; an angel I had all to myself. And I loved him, unconditionally.
I watched the two boys walk down the hallway, hand in hand, babbling away, smiling sweetly.
"Hey, boys," I smiled, waving a little.
"Hi, Miss Holliday," they said in unison. I smirked.
"Sleep well." They looked at each other, as if in on some inside joke.
-Thank you all so much for reading this, especially this last insanely long chapter! I hope you guys liked it and I hope to hear from you again soon! God bless and keep reading!-