Author: surnaturelle PM
After a car accident, Darren and Blaine swap bodies. Will they be able to go back ? How will Kurt and Chris react ? Set before Funeral/during the shooting of Funeral, based on speculations at the time. Established Klaine, CrissColfer to come.Rated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Blaine A. & Kurt H. - Chapters: 15 - Words: 104,501 - Reviews: 779 - Favs: 1,048 - Follows: 810 - Updated: 04-02-12 - Published: 05-02-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6959389
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay, so I've had this idea in my mind for quite a while now, after watching Supernatural's The French Mistake - what would happen if you swapped Blaine and Darren ?
At first I had planned on swapping Chris and Kurt too, but this is much more fun.
Okay, so basically it's a little unsettling, but it's totally going somewhere. If I keep writing it, there won't be more than 5 or 7 chapters.
So, it's set around Funeral, so it's right after the prom. Basically, it's all speculations, purely.
I own nothing. Glee belongs to FOX and RIB, Darren and Chris' names and story belong to them.
Darren often woke up too late on Monday mornings. This one was no exception.
The problem was that he was expected on set at 8 am, which meant that he only had twenty-five minutes to take a shower, grab a coffee... and do the thirty minutes drive to the Paramount Studio.
Six minutes later he was closing his car's door, coffee in his hand, hair still wet. Must be some kind of record.
He tried to remember all the shortcuts his co-stars had told him about on his first days, not daring too much in fear of getting lost.
He went through the script in his head, remembering his lines. Not that he had that many – they were shooting the Funeral episode, which, he was certain, would not disappoint the fans.
The first scene would show some members of New Directions – Rachel, Finn and Brittany – arriving at a cemetery. They would join Will Schuester in front of a coffin-sized hole.
The rest of the episode consisted of flashbacks from the previous day, showing various characters in death-threatening situations, as the ones who cared about them arrived at the burial, thus keeping the identity of the deceased person secret for the biggest part of the episode.
Blaine would get into a car accident on his way to McKinley, and we see him taken to the hospital... and then cut to Kurt arriving at the cemetery with Mercedes, crying profusely and visibly shaken.
Of course Blaine didn't die – he got away with a broken wrist and a few stitches on his temple, but you only knew that in the end, when he joined Kurt at the funeral.
Darren had tried not to read the script completely – he liked to watch the episodes afterwards, since most of Blaine and Kurt's storyline was independent from the rest – but he couldn't stand the suspense.
Becky and Terri were also in one of the cars that crashed.
Figgins' kitchen sort of... exploded.
Emma was trying to get rid of her OCD by walking in the forest near a river, and she fell in the water.
Santana came out to her parents, and when her whole neighborhood heard about it, and some guys confronted her... with baseball bats. Luckily she ran away in time – again, we only know that in the end.
Actually, the death was half expected. It was Sam's mother.
Expected, because they had just stated in Rumours that her being sick was the reason for Kurt and Quinn's newfound closeness to Sam. Which explained Kurt being so upset at the burial. It reminded him of his mum's funeral. And this time at least Blaine doesn't put his foot in his mouth and make a remark about it
Darren was just about to turn left one last time – it was 7.57, he was quite proud of himself – when he heard the unmistakable sound of cars stopping abruptly, then shattered metal and glass... he barely had the time to hit the brakes and turn his head before the truck hit the right side of his car, sending him directly into the door, his head hitting the window...
I... it was a... secondhand accident... Why do I feel so weird ? It didn't hit me that fast... the truck hit the other car and then me... it couldn't have been going that fast...
He tried to open his eyes but his whole body was sinking into the ground, heavier than lead, the noises barely reaching his ears anymore. Screams. He could still hear some screaming. And an ambulance. He felt a wave of relief and then... he was completely gone.
"I'm positive he will wake up soon. He doesn't have that many injuries."
"How long was he out ?"
"He woke up when we took him out of the ambulance, but we had to sedate him."
Blaine didn't recognize the voices. He didn't remember waking up between the crash and now. Last thing he knew, he was driving to McKinley in the pouring rain, to see Kurt, because New Directions was leaving in four days to go to New York and he wouldn't see him for a week. Then he heard cars crashing and... he woke up here.
"Anything else than his broken wrist, Doc ?"
Kurt ? Kurt's here ? Something was off though. It was Kurt's voice all right... but not his tone.
"He might have a concussion, I will make more tests once he wakes up. Three stitches on his fronthead. Some bruises too, but he'll be okay. He might even be able to leave the hospital in the afternoon. If he wakes up soon enough, that is."
He heard someone walking out and closing the door.
Who's Darren ? Why's Kurt calling him ? A warm hand touched his right forearm. It felt nice.
"Darren, can you hear me ?"
"Chris, don't worry, the doc said -"
"I heard him."
Chris ? Did he just call him Chris ? What the hell ? Blaine managed to move his fingers very slowly. He slightly opened his mouth.
The hand had left his arm and was now on his shoulder. He opened his eyes as slowly as he could, blinking in the vivid white light.
"Brad, go get a nurse !"
His sight was still a little blurry but he still saw a form leaving his room.
"Darren ? Do you hear me ?"
"Kurt ? Wha – why did you call me ... Darren ?"
Blaine's eyes finally focused on the man by his bed. He was wearing a superman t-shirt and worn-off jeans. His hair was a little messy. Not Kurt-ish at all.
"What happened ?"
"Y-you had an accident it – truck driver, drunk, drove into three cars. Including yours. You must've hit your head pretty badly if you think you... I mean..."
Blaine raised his hand to touch the side of his head, which was starting to tingle a little. The nurse arrived at that moment.
"How are you feeling Mr Criss ?"
Blaine turned to... Kurt (?) Who the older man had called Chris earlier, believing it was him the nurse was addressing.
"Uh ?", Blaine gave the nurse a confused glance
"I'm talking to you", she smiled, "how are you feeling ?"
"I'm... okay I guess, a little sleepy... my head hurts..."
"And your wrist ?"
He tried to move his left hand's fingers, wincing.
He raised his head to look at... well... Kurt... maybe... and took the hand that was still resting on his shoulder, squeezing it. The older man – Brad ? - shot him a quizzical look. Blaine did his best to repress a death glare as he mistook the surprise in the man's eyes for disgust.
"Excuse me, nurse, is it... is it possible to have...", he hesitated, then mouthed, "personality troubles after... an accident like that ?"
Blaine raised his eyebrow.
"I don't have personality troubles..."
Kurt -if he was Kurt... but it was weird - approached the nurse.
"He called me Kurt", he whispered, but loud enough for Blaine to hear, "and he asked why I called him Darren... I think he believes he's Blaine..."
Blaine frowned. What does he mean, believe ? Is this a joke ? He started to panic and looked outside. Blue sky and bright sun. Also skyscrapers.
He got up from his bed and ran to the window, his heartbeat accelerating. The nurse and "Kurt" moved closer to him.
"Don't – don't call me that – Kurt what, what's wrong, where are we ?"
"We're in Los Angeles..."
"No ! No, it's impossible, I was in Lima !"
"Darren, listen to me. You are not Blaine -"
"Sir, maybe you shouldn't... talk to him like that, if he believes he is his character..."
"My character ? What do you mean my character ?"
He was shaking. "Kurt" took his hand and led him to the bed, making him sit back.
"Try to make him remember by telling him about himself, I will go get a doctor."
Blaine's eyes widen.
"What's the last thing you remember ?"
Darren opened his eyes and blinked at the too bright hospital light. The rain was falling hard against the windows and he could here the wind blowing in the half-closed blinders.
What the hell ? It was sunny when I...
"Blaine ? Mercedes, call the nurse, he's awake !"
Darren frowned. Why was Chris repeating his lines in such a situation ? He saw Amber exiting the room in her Mercedes clothes - which was very unusual since she usually tried to wear them the least she could - as Chris moved closer and sat next to him on the bed. He caressed his cheek and kissed his temple softly.
"... Chris, what the hell ?"
"... what did you just call me ?"
Chris gave him a very Kurt-ish surprised look. Darren started to panic and looked around him. The room was the exact replica of the one they had on set – except there was no camera, a real roof, and it seemed to be attached to... a real hospital.
"What the Hell, what's happening, why -"
"Blaine, calm down, you just... you just had an accident."
I know that.
"The doctor called me with your cellphone, I was in rehearsal, he said I was your emergency number and..."
Tears rolled down his porcelain cheeks and Darren feared he understood. Those were Chris' lines all right... but the man next to him was not Chris. As unbelievable as it seemed... it was Kurt.
I'm either dreaming... or sci-fi just got real.
"Oh my God I was so scared..."
Darren sat up so as to have his back completely against the headboard and he wrapped one arm around... Kurt's shoulder.
That's when he noticed that there was no scar on the back of the boys neck. So it was definitely not Chris doing a sick joke. His heart started to beat faster. I must be dreaming, it's the only solution.
He turned is head to look at the clock... which was working perfectly, though it was indicating 4 pm... Darren shivered.
The rain was falling in the right way. Falling from the sky. He pinched himself... which hurt. Dammit.
Those were the only old tricks he knew to make sure he was not dreaming. His heart started to beat faster.
"Mmh-mh ? Oh, sorry, did I hurt your wrist ?"
The younger boy moved off of him quickly, Darren immediately missing the warmth - it's just my body reacting, it's just my body.
"No, no, you didn't... I have to tell you something, I think -"
"Good to see you awake, Mr Anderson !"
Darren almost rolled his eyes as the man entered his room, looking exactly like the extra playing the doctor in the episode, followed by... well, since Chris was not Chris, he figured Amber was not Amber either, but Mercedes. The doctor approached him and Darren looked down on himself as the older man probed his arm.
Darren noticed that his hands were a lot softer than normal, his fingers not calloused – Blaine obviously did not play the guitar.
What the Hell happened ? When did I jump in an episode of Supernatural ?
"Your wrist is broken, as you might've felt it. Could've been worst, though. The cast will be taken off in two weeks."
Here he goes with the same lines again. If Amb-Mercedes asks if she can sign it...
"Could I sign it ? And decorate it ?"
Darren played along and smiled, taking Kurt's hand.
"I believe Kurt has dibs on that...", he said, surprised to sound rather convincing
The doctor noted a few things on his pad.
"No need for you to stay here tonight, I believe your parents can come and pick you up ?"
He was about to give a positive response when he remembered something.
"No, my parents are in New York, but I could take a cab -"
"It's fine, you can come to my place, Blaine. It's what was planned, remember ?"
Darren blushed. Do I... tell him ?
"Oh, right, sure..."
"Okay then, I'll be back with the papers and the recommendations !"
The doctor smiled and left.
"Guys, I'm gonna go tell the others that Blaine is fine !"
Both boys nodded. Darren turned to Kurt, who moved a little closer... and his heart skipped a beat when he remembered what was supposed to happen next. Luckily, Kurt froze and frowned.
"What were you going to say before the doctor arrived ?"
"You said you had to tell me something."
"Oh... you're... probably not gonna believe me... but, well", he bit his lips, "Here's the thing : I'm... Kurt, I'm not Blaine."
Kurt chuckled and caressed Darren's hair.
"You did hit your head pretty badly, you know..."
"No, Kurt, I'm serious, I... I was in Los Angeles when my car crashed. It was eight in the morning and the sun was shining brightly."
"Blaine, it's not funny anymore."
"Seriously, Kurt, you have to believe me. My name is Darren Criss, I'm an actor in a TV Show named Glee, I... I play Blaine in that TV Show. I don't know what happened precisely, but when I had that car accident... I took Blaine's place. I'm still not sure whether I'm dreaming or not, but it doesn't seem like it."
Kurt gave him one of his most fabulous bitch-faces, to which Darren chuckled, remembering the numerous times he'd asked Chris to show him how to bitch-face like a pro.
"You don't believe me..."
"No, I don't, Blaine, how would I ? It's ridiculous."
"Look, I don't know... wait, no, I perfectly know. I just... if I tell you something about you that Blaine doesn't know, will you believe me ?"
"Someone else could've told you."
"If it's... something that only you know ?"
"You read my diary."
"You don't have a diary."
"Okay... Go on."
Kurt sighed, visibly not amused. Darren tried to think as fast as he could about a scene that showed Kurt, and only Kurt.
"Right before Blaine came to pick you up and go to Prom, you were crying in your room. You were... looking at a picture of your mother and saying... 'I wish you could've been here mum. I wish you could've met Blaine and driven us crazy by taking million of photos'."
Kurt shivered. Okay, Darren, nice move. Blaine got into you, really, very tactful, talking about his mum.
"It's impossible. You can't know that. You..."
Kurt moved away from Darren, slightly.
"I don't know. But... Blaine had a car accident, and so did I. I'm... I'm afraid Blaine... took my place..."
"Oh God, but he's... he's gonna freak out and -"
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll now what to do..."
Tears were rolling down Kurt's face and Darren couldn't help but feel guilty. Both men remained silent for a long minute.
"So... do you know what happens now ?"
"What do you mean ?"
"Was it in... 'the script' or something ?"
"Me coming here ? No, it wasn't... the accident was, and then there's – oh God. I..."
"What is it ?"
"I can't... tell you what's going to happen, what if I interfere with the future and, and something breaks and I can't come home ?"
"... you're not making any sense, you've already interfered..."
"I know, but... it's not that important."
"Excuse me ? My boyfriend had a fricking car accident and when he woke up, he was not himself anymore, WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED FOR IT TO BECOME IMPORTANT ?"
Darren jumped a little.
"Wow, scary Kurt. You look like Chris when he hasn't had his Diet Coke..."
"... like Chris ? Who's Chris ?"
"You. I mean, no, not you, the actor who plays you."
"Oh...", Kurt bit his lip, thoughtful, "...what is he like ? Are we... very different ?"
"A lot. And yet... not that much. I mean, he's a lot less... flamboyant than you, but he's gay too. He's not that interested in fashion... don't look surprised ! He's very funny and witty and... he's adorable. Really, I'm glad I got to work with him."
"Are you two... together ?"
"Chris and I ?", he chuckled, "Oh, no, no, I'm not... I'm straight."
Kurt raised his eyebrows in disbelief.
"But... you play Blaine..."
"Yes. I... I grew up in San Fransisco..."
Kurt tilted his head as if to say "Oh, right, I get it" and nodded. Everytime... Darren chuckled as he thought the countless interviews where he actually had to 'come out' as straight.
"It's very brave of you to do that. Don't people, like... hate on the TV Show ? Or just on you and... Chris ?"
"No, no, not at all ! Actually, if you wanna know, Glee is very popular. Chris, he's... he won a Golden Globe for your part. He made the top 10 in the list of Time's 100 most inspirational people... Watching him... I mean, you, on TV helped a lot of gay teens and... What's wrong ?"
Kurt was crying again.
"It's... it's so stupid... I'm... I've helped people ?"
"Yes, you have. It's really amazing, when Chris goes somewhere and everyone's like, super shy around him and everyone wants to hug him because he's wonderful, and, and he'd deserve every single award on the planet !"
Darren never really considered himself a fanboy – but right now he was almost hysterical.
"We're not going to tell anyone."
Darren looked up, confused.
"About me, you mean ? Why not ?"
"Like you said, it could... interfere. People are going to want to know what happens next. Do you know ?"
"Yes. Some of it."
"Do you... know if Blaine and I are... staying together for long ?"
Darren chuckled. It was like doing an interview – you want to give the fans hope, but not to spoil too much.
"Lots of people consider you as endgame", he said, smiling, "and to be honest, you're like, the most stable couple on Glee thus far, neither of you's cheating on the other..."
Kurt laughed. Darren noticed this laughed was very, very similar to Chris' honest one. The man is a super good actor, so of course, when he laughs or smiles, it's not always completely honest. But when you start to know him better, you can figure it out. Kurt was absolutely adorable right now.
"What about... what about Finn and Rachel ? Do you know anything ?"
"And... you know, Santana and Brit ?"
"Can't tell either, I'm sorry."
"This is so unfair, Blaine will get to know everything and I don't..."
Darren smiled. And then found himself a little worried. But he could count on Chris - and the others - to deal with the situation.
"Hey Kurt, can you help me up ? I have to go to the bathroom."
Darren managed to move off the bed without hurting himself too much – his chest was bruised – and he wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders. The younger man let his hand low on Darren's hip, before moving it up quickly, blushing.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – I forgot and -"
"Hey, calm down, it's okay..."
They exchanged a sad smile.
When Darren exited the bathroom after a short minute, Kurt jolted up from where he'd been sitting on the bed, rushing to his side.
"You're taking this whole situation pretty well, Kurt."
"So are you."
"Oh, believe me, I'm freaking out... but I guess I'm still in the 'I-get-to-meet-the-real-characters-it's-totally-awesome' stage. I'll start to panic tonight."
"Oh God, tonight – my dad, he's going to know something's off... He's going notice you're not... you..."
"Hey, being Blaine is sort of my job, may I remind you."
"I know, but... we're going to have to act all couple-y or he's gonna think something's off... that we fought or something..."
"On the other hand, I was just in a car accident. Maybe he'll let me, like, go to sleep straight away and... wait, do I – I mean, Blaine... is he... am I... oh shit, where do I sleep ?"
"In my bed, why do you ask ?"
"But... wait, in Blame It On The Alcohol, Burt lectured you about being inappropriate -"
"In what ?"
"Oh, right, sorry, that's... the name of the episode..."
"Oh. Episodes. Of course. But, wait, this... TV Show, it's... about me ?"
"No, no, it's... the whole Glee Club."
Kurt bit his lip and looked a little unsure. Darren smiled.
"Go ahead, ask me tons of questions if you want – I just won't give you details about stuff that could hurt you or... you know, the future."
He patted a spot next to him on the bed and Kurt sat down, looking a little happier than a few minutes before.
Blaine was alone in his hospital room. Chris had left to go get a Diet Coke – it was so weird, Kurt never, ever drank that kind of thing – and Brad had said something about going back to the set and "scheduling the shooting of scenes that don't include you two".
This is just a nightmare. This is just a nightmare.
Blaine could feel that Chris knew something was off. And that it wasn't just because his mind had snapped and he thought he was his character.
Oh yeah, that part was tricky too. Chris had told Blaine all about "Glee". It sounded true. His 'life' sounded true.
He had known it was definitely not Kurt playing a sick joke on him, when he'd talked about Blaine going to Burt, telling him to give The Talk to his son, all that with a lot more ease than the real Kurt would've dared to have.
"Hey, are you feeling better ?"
"Ehm, yes, a little."
Chris smiled and sat down, handing Blaine a cup of coffee.
"Medium drip. I figured..."
"The doctor says if your... memory doesn't come back, you'll have to stay here tonight."
Blaine just looked at him. How can I show him I'm not this Darren guy ?
"Chris... I don't know how to prove it to you, I'm not... I can't explain it, but I know I'm not Darren."
"Y-you don't... feel like him to me either... the doctor says it's just because you're so well in character... but I don't know, the fact that you've accepted that I'm not Kurt..."
Blaine sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"How is it possible ? Is there, like, several dimensions or something ? There's your reality, and then... every TV Show has its own ?"
"Maybe... wait ! I know. Ehm... haven't you ever heard of... me ? No, wait. Without Glee, I'm not famous at all..."
"... is 'Glee' really that popular ?"
"It is ! It's absolutely amazing, I never thought we'd get that far ! Seriously, all the way to Europe !"
Blaine chuckled at Chris' enthusiasm, so similar to the reaction Kurt would have describing Marc Jacobs' new collection. His eyes changed color, from the deep gray they had been a minute ago to the bright blue they harbored now.
"...do I have something on my face ?"
"...what ? Oh, no, no, I'm sorry it's... your eyes..."
Blaine blushed, embarrassed.
"I always joke with Kurt that, at some point, it'll be like a kaleidoscope if they keep changing color so fast."
He smiled, suddenly very sad.
"What if... what if Darren is in my place now ?"
"Oh God, and, my poor Kurt, he must be completely freaked out, and... Darren's probably gonna think he's dreaming so he's not gonna care and -"
"Darren always cares. But he must be freaked out too... or rather, knowing him, he's gonna think it's great, and then when he'll wake up tomorrow he'll do everything he can to come back..."
Chris shook his head, biting his lips.
"...are you two... together ?"
"What ? No, we're not, Darren... he's straight."
"...and yet he plays a gay teenager ? That's..."
"Unusual ? Yes. But it's happening more and more these days."
"But... do you guys show... you know, when Kurt... I mean, you... well, the kisses ?"
"No heavy make out session... yet... but ehm, yes, some kisses. Like, the first one, and..."
"You mean the first ones ?"
"Well, the one right after the 'you move me' speech, and then the one after I –I mean, Kurt– replies that he thought we –I mean, you– were practicing already."
"... so you only showed two kisses at that moment ? Because, well... there were more..."
"I knew it ! By the way... what happened exactly ?"
"What do you mean ?"
"Well, in the show, we went directly from that, to Regionals, and then Pavarotti's funeral and bam Night Of Neglect."
"Wait – so Kurt's not the main character ?"
"Oh no, no... actually he wasn't that big of a character in the beginning – the first episodes of season 1, I barely said anything – it's more focused on Rachel and Finn and Quinn, etc..."
"Tsss... well, what do you want to know ?"
"How did...Finn react to the news ? You and Kurt being an item ?"
"Finn ? Oh, he... high fived Kurt. And then he grabbed me by the collar of my Dalton blazer and said that if I ever hurt Kurt, or made him cry "not in the good way", I wouldn't ever be able to sing again."
"Oh God, Cory would've loved to shoot that scene !"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot... Cory's the guy who plays Finn."
"R-right...", he trailed off
Blaine half-panicked for a moment, his breathing quickening.
Chris got up from his chair and approached the trembling boy, wrapping an arm around him.
"Hey, hey, shhhh, it's all right... we're gonna figure it out, don't worry. We're gonna figure it out..."
"We... we can't tell anyone. They're gonna try to do experiments on me or something... I'm... I'm gonna pretend to be Darren."
Blaine looked up to Chris, who seemed extremely puzzled.
"You're right. But there's a big, big problem. You're... for Darren to pass as you, it's easy, he... he made you, but... the other way around is gonna be much more difficult... you guys are so different..."
Blaine sighed, wishing he could just be back home, cuddling with Kurt in front of whatever musical or Disney movie they'd have picked, instead of here, in this complete mess...
"Then you're gonna have to teach me how to be Darren Criss."
Haha, well it was fun to write. Hopefully more will come. Only if you want to.
Blaine is a good actor, turns out. And Darren finds Kurt more and more... adorable.